


why do i keep changing the god damn title

by Element_of_Fire



Series: Dumb fics that have absolutely no plot to them [3]
Category: Food Fantasy (Video Game), Original Work
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is too lazy to add in relationship tags, Chatting & Messaging, Dungeons & Dragons Bullshit edition, Everyone Is Gay, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I stg Brownie is th best savage, It will take her about 56 years to add all the relationship tags but she is too lazy, Multi, No Plot/Plotless, Normal names in the first chapters, OOC, Plot? What Plot? That is not an word and please don't plague our knowledge like that, Podcast, Swearing, Thats in chap 11 tho, They all are aged down, Update I added the relationships tags, Weed, Yeah the tags aren’t complete, a mess, almost, because EVERYONE IS A MESS, because sometimes I confuse myself, because they don't know hwo to use chat, becayuse you never see it coming, but idk how to really complete it, chatfic, i have no self esteem, i make no sense, i stayed up until 2 finishing the first chapter, im not funny, more peeps joining later bc hax, people know too much these days, soooo many swearing, there is no end to this i add things on whenever i feel like it, why I am I having a rant in the tags, why is this created, wikihow how to talk about sex, yeet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2020-05-16 14:42:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 81,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19320259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Element_of_Fire/pseuds/Element_of_Fire
Summary: Weed duck: hey siri what to do when highWeed aunt: this isnt siri hunnyKink Shaming: haha dumbassWeed duck: you want me to get you high and see how it feelsSans Whisperer: kinkyKink Shaming: no to bothSober: how do you still type perfectlyWeed aunt: one wordWeed duck: willpowerThis is mainly for my entertainment where I scroll back to see what I was thinking 3 AM in the morning but I guess you can read this tooI honestly made this so freeform people that don't know the fandom can read it with no problemThis is getting out of hand but I cant stop the boredomnew challenge to change the summary every time i update





	1. they done messed up

**Author's Note:**

> ooc.  
> welcome to hell. enjoy your fucking stay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i was in the triumph of finally beating my friend in gamepigeon  
> R E K T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B52 is best boye and you can’t tell me otherwise

Gingerbread: LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Red Wine: YALL ARE GOING DOWN

Cola: why

Red Wine: great

Gingerbread: Oh f

Steak: fuck

Hamburger: i wiN

Red Wine: HAX

Cola: agreed

Gingerbread: ITS JUST A GAMEPIGEON GAME

Hamburger: I BEAT THEM AT SOMETHING

Steak: DIE

Red Wine: KILL HIM

Cola: FIND HIM

Hamburger: Im at nowhere

Steak: EVERYONE GATHER AT NOWHERE

Steak: wait

Gingerbread:

Red Wine: jfc

Steak: am tired ok

Red Wine: ITS ONLY 1 IN THE MORNING

Red Wine: YOU LITTLE SHIT

Steak: YOU WANNA GO

Red Wine: YES

Red Wine: @everyone FIRST ONE TO SLEEP IS AN ASS

Cola: That would be you

Gingerbread: excuse me while i stock up on coffee etc

Hamburger: i will beat you to it

Gingerbread: I already raided the whole supply

Gingerbread: alright you cunts lets do this

Cola: ok so

Cola: we are going to speak here

Cola: anyone that does not respond within 1-5 min is out

Cola: and is declared as a

Cola: a

Gingerbread: hm

Steak: if gingerbread loses shes a slut

Gingerbread:

Gingerbread: I aint losing

Gingerbread: steak your DEFINATELY a cunt

Red Wine: agreed

Hamburger: so

Hamburger: what shall we do

Steak: i just passed b52 vodka pastel de nata and brownie

Steak: and oh man they need some milk

Cola: what happened

Steak: Vodka and B-52 are drunk

Steak: B-52 had self destruct activated

Red Wine: oh shit

Steak: they are trying to get it off

Steak: and b-52 keeps yelling at them in binary

Gingerbread: feels bad

Hamburger: well

Hamburger: am kind of scared of them now

Cola: time check

Cola: the clock on my phones glitched

Cola: IT WONT FUCKING MOVE

Gingerbread: thats nice

Gingerbread: alright its 1:32

Red Wine: AM

Gingerbread: red pls

Steak: WHO THE FUCK TAPED A KNIFE ON THE ROOMBA

Cola: b52

Hamburger: jfc

Gingerbread: not shocked

Steak: IT TRIED TO SLICE MY LEGS OFF

Red Wine: too bad it failed

Steak: im sending it towards your room

Red Wine: you are not

Steak: alright its at your door

Red Wine: HOLY SHIT it sounds legit like a murderer is knocking on my door

Cola: HERES JOHNNY

Red Wine: yes that

Red Wine: GET IT AWAY

Steak: fun fact he screamed like a girl

Gingerbread: hahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Red Wine: PLEASE

Steak: never heard you say that

Red Wine: i swear b52 is so dead

Steak: fInE

Steak: you wuss

Red Wine: I DONT WANT MY DEATH TO BE SLICED TO DEATH BY A ROOMBA

Cola: relatable

Red Wine: im so mad im going to kill him now

Hamburger: you will not

Red Wine: I did it

Steak: shit

Red Wine: but it didnt work

Steak: jfc i almost fell asleep

Steak: GINGERBREAD SPARE ME SOME CAFFEINE

Gingerbread: beg for it

Steak: PLEASE

Gingerbread: hm

Gingerbread: alright

Gingerbread: but you have to call rw your bf for the time your awake

Red Wine: W H A T

Red Wine: ginger your cruel

Steak: sure

Cola:

Hamburger:

Red Wine:

Gingerbread: alright a pound comin up

Steak: tHanK yOU

Red Wine: P E R I S H G R E M L I N

Steak: fuck no

Cola: i cabt even type

Cola: am dyung

Cola: but mt digniry is impirtent

Hamburger: bro you have none

Cola:

Cola: what np

Cola: im dying hsrdcore

Gingerbread: then perish

Red Wine: whOa

Hamburger: STEAK

Steak: am not dead

Steak: i paid a high price for this caffeine

Red Wine: yes you did

Red Wine: you fucking twat

Red Wine: i should deserve credit in this

Red Wine: im the victim

Gingerbread: fine

Gingerbread: but you can not escape this time

Gingerbread: or else i will take part in my master plan

Cola: oh no

Hamburger: what is the master plan

Gingerbread: i cant tell you

Gingerbread: its too brilliant to be leaked

Steak: fuck you

Gingerbread: watch yo language

Gingerbread: i have not included making out in the agreement

Steak has deleted a message

Gingerbread: thank you

Red Wine: your evil

Cola: agreed

Gingerbread: yes i know that

Hamburger: alright

Hamburger: it is 2

Hamburger: jfc were actually doing this

Red Wine: im fine

Steak: im not

Red Wine: idc

Steak: you should because my plot of releasing rats in your room isnt working out

Steak: i mean what

Red Wine: YOUR PLOT OF WHAT

Steak: NOTHING

Steak: YOU SAW NOTHING

Hamburger: he was planning of releasing rats in your room

Cola: where do you get them rats

Steak: um

Gingerbread: dont you dare say it

Steak: i might steal bamris rats

Red Wine: wooooooooooooooooow  
Gingerbread: insert audible sigh

Cola: jfc almost died

Hamburger: nice job

Gingerbread: more caffeine

Steak: yEs

Red Wine: fuck this im getting high

Cola: no

Steak: thank the lord i moved rooms with him last month

Gingerbread: i live next door

Gingerbread: hes getting high alright

Hamburger: should i be scared

Gingerbread: Y E S

Cola: red pls

Red Wine: alright

Red Wine: it shall be my last resort

Steak: jfc

Cola: i swear to god

Cola: im taping my eyes rn

Hamburger: bruh

Hamburger: thats too far

Red Wine: currently coming over to his room to peel them off

Cola: NO

Cola: IM GOING TO DIE

Gingerbread: oh great

Hamburger: STEAK

Gingerbread: is he dead

Gingerbread: yes

Steak: im here

Steak: i was watching stuff

Steak: BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO DIE

Hamburger: alright its 3

Hamburger: I GOT THIS

Gingerbread: nah fam

Cola: RED YOUR MEAN

Red Wine: no tape

Red Wine: you TWAT

Cola: ……………………………...great

Hamburger: any of you about to die

Gingerbread: NAH FAM

Gingerbread: im fine

Red Wine: still alive

Steak: dead

Steak: reeeeee

Cola: dying

Cola: actually no im already dead

Gingerbread: im so alive man

Red Wine: no

Red Wine: thats wrong

Red Wine: nononononono

Gingerbread: what

Red Wine: your dead inside

Gingerbread: true true

Hamburger: so when does this end

Red Wine: never

Hamburger: wow

Cola: wait

Cola: NEVER

Red Wine: unless you give up and be called an ass

Cola: no

Red Wine: then ok

Hamburger: i think steak is dead

Gingerbread: @Steak

Red Wine: please god tell me hes out

Steak: fuck no

Red Wine: dang it

Steak: im binge watching netflix to forget my tiredness

Steak: its working

Steak: now leave me alone

Cola: well ok

Hamburger:great its 4

Hamburger: this is probably the most bs thing we did

Gingerbread: agreed

Gingerbread: hows your roommates taking up with this bs

Gingerbread: mooncake takes no mind

Hamburger: cola is my roommate

Cola: homiesssssss

Gingerbread: i see

Red Wine: vodka is drunk

Cola: wait shes your roommate

Red Wine: yes

Red Wine: we get drunk every day

Hamburger: nice

Steak: boston lobster aint having any of my shit

Steak: currently hiding

Gingerbread: feels bad but not really

Red Wine: ^^^^^^

Steak: STILL WATCHING NETFLIX ewflkdjwhf

Red Wine: wait your a bottom

Steak: what

Cola: only bottoms keyboard smash

Steak: shit

Steak: im not a bottom

Gingerbread: OH REALLY

Gingerbread: want me to take action

Gingerbread: finger guns

Steak: stfu

Red Wine: i dont like where this is going

Hamburger: IT ENDS HERE

Cola: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Gingerbread: fine

_B-52 has added themselves to the chat_

Gingerbread: wtf

_B-52 has locked themselves to the chat_

B-52: im bored

Red Wine: but

Steak: bruh its 4 30 in the morning

B-52: i dont sleep

Cola: wowsas

B-52: sleeping is more of a want for me

Steak: we all are currently having an compitition

Steak: if you sleep your a ass

B-52: a what

Cola: alright you guys

Cola: since he is here we need to keep it christian

Red Wine: why

Cola: brownie and vodka is going to kill us all if he isnt clean

B-52: clean?

Hamburger: nothing

Gingerbread: can you leave

B-52: BUT IM BoRED

Red Wine: ill respect roomba rights

B-52: ok

_B-52 has left_

Cola: thanks red

Gingerbread: alright cunts

Gingerbread: the sun is up

Gingerbread: keep going

Steak: im dying

Red Wine: oH iM fInE

Steak: silence bottom

Red Wine: no

Red Wine: thats you

Hamburger: well one of you has to be a bottom

Gingerbread: finger guns

Cola: finger guns

Red Wine: insert audible sigh

Red Wine: its not going to happen

Steak: confused?

Red Wine: nOtHing iS gOinG oN

Steak: back to binge watching

Steak: actually

Steak: i will release my inner WEEB and binge watch anime

Cola: YES

Red Wine: jfc

Hamburger: i KNEW it

Hamburger: behold the new weeb

Steak: stfu

Gingerbread: shit im running out of caffeine

Red Wine: you know you dont have to drink it every second?

Gingerbread: no

Red Wine: jfc

Gingerbread: well now youve helped me

Cola: christ

Cola: why are we like this


	2. insert name here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> U W U

Steak: Hi

Gingerbread: wtf

Steak: guess who i am

Cola: your steak

Steak: wrong

Steak: ITS ME 

Hamburger: WHO

Steak: b. lobster

Steak: fun fact hes still awake

Red Wine: damn it

Cola: why do you have his phone

Steak: WHY NOT

Gingerbread: Red do you secretly have soul fruits

Red Wine: yes

Red Wine: why

Gingerbread: if you do spare me some

Red Wine: fuck no

Gingerbread: alright

Gingerbread: boston tell steak that red wants to suck his dick

Steak: yes maam

Red Wine: WHAT

Cola: currently dying from laughter

Hamburger: wheeZe

Red Wine: BOSTON

Steak: yessir

Red Wine: DONT

Steak: but

Gingerbread: do it

Steak: this is a lot of stuff

Steak: how does steak deal with this

Cola: idk

Red Wine: i swear to fucking god if he knows this

Steak: i wont tell him 

Steak: yeet

Cola: yeet yeet

Hamburger: yeet yeet yeet

Gingerbread: STOP

Steak: Are you guys still awake

Gingerbread: hell to the yea

Steak: great

Steak: Steak still havent noticed that i took his phone

Steak: dab

Red Wine: boston pls

Steak: no

Red Wine: why are you two so similar

Steak: idk

Steak: im filling in for steak i guess

Red Wine: makes sense

Cola: alright

Cola: im going to set out

Cola: and find something wonderful

Cola: So i can die in peace

Cola: im already dead inside

Cola: so like

Hamburger: pour more salt

Cola: yes

Cola: bye

Steak: bye hope you find something good

Red Wine: dont find anything nsfw

Cola: bruh

Gingerbread: how are yall

Red Wine: im fine

Steak: im fine

Steak: steak is still up

Steak: hes on ep 60 smt of naruto

Cola: finding something wonderful

Hamburger: about to die

Gingerbread: HOLY SHIT

Red Wine: wut

Gingerbread: mooncake taped an air horn on my chair

Hamburger: nice

Cola: yo i found some people canoodling

Hamburger: WHO

Cola: b52 and brownie

Hamburger: oh shit

Gingerbread: I KNEW IT SOMETHINGS GOING ON

Steak: I

Steak: idk what to say

Steak: brb i need to run

Red Wine: y

Steak: Peking and yuxiang is high

Red Wine: relatable

Red Wine: just run

Steak: bye

Cola: game pigeon?

Gingerbread: HELL YEA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo guys game pigeon is the next big game


	3. b52 is a hacker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well alright  
> i include good hackers in 80% of my stories so we have one here  
> rip bloody mary

Steak: yEs 

 

Red Wine: fuck

 

Red Wine: are you boston or are you steak

 

Steak: its me boston

 

Red Wine: good

 

Red Wine: because steaks iq is so low he never wins

 

Steak: i see

 

Hamburger: crap

 

Gingerbread: ill take second

 

Steak: hjwewpu02934u*&)(*)^HJGLJKHJGiyeuikgf

 

Hamburger: what

 

Cola: you ok

 

Steak: BOSTON TOOK MY PHONE

 

Steak: WHAT HAVE HE BEEN DOING

  
Red Wine: fuck your back

 

Steak: YOU WILL NEVER GET RID OF ME

 

Steak: jk I can pull a depression cake and jump off the empire state building right now

 

Steak: i mean what

 

Red Wine: dont you dare

 

Gingerbread: omfg did red forbid steak from killing himself

 

Gingerbread: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

Steak: stfu

 

Red Wine: ginger if i were not so tired i would ha ve destroyed you

 

Gingerbread: you know you cant

 

Cola: shes right

 

Hamburger: you unholy man

 

Red Wine: thats pretzels line

 

Hamburger: oh yeah

 

_ Red Wine has added Pretzel to the chat _

 

Pretzel: What

 

Red Wine: what

 

Cola: bro

 

Red Wine: I DIDNT DO IT

 

Pretzel: It was probably B-52

 

Steak: HOW

  
Pretzel: Fun fact, he has a virus on everyone’s phone

 

Gingerbread: oh shit

 

Pretzel: I’m right here

 

Pretzel: B-52 also monit ors all the chats

 

Hamburger:

 

Cola:

 

Red Wine:

 

Gingerbread:

 

Steak: HOW

  
Steak: THIS

 

Steak: idk what b-52 is

 

Steak: ROOMBA

  
Pretzel: Wow

 

_ Im not a roomba, PERISH HUMAN _

 

Gingerbread:

 

Gingerbread: Im scared

 

Pretzel: To be honest, me too.

 

Pretzel: Alright. I’m going to leave. Bloody Mary’s escaping.

 

Steak: PLEASE keep him under control

 

Pretzel: Yes sir.

 

_ Pretzel has left the chat _

 

Cola: time check

 

Hamburger: 7

 

Cola: oh shit

 

Cola: how many hours have we been awake

 

Gingerbread: a lot

 

Cola: well duh

 

Steak: I aint doing the math

 

Red Wine: nah

 

Hamburger: why did we agree to do this

 

Cola: idk man

 

Cola: it was between them

 

Gingerbread: we already started

 

Gingerbread: i will not back down

 

Cola: i still cant find anything

 

Hamburger: well

 

Hamburger: which category are you going to

 

Cola: um

 

Gingerbread: cats?

 

Cola: maybe

 

Cola: time to rob sanma and bonito

 

Hamburger: thats the spirit

 

Gingerbread: i saw steak running towards reds room

 

Steak: SHUT UP

 

Red Wine: what

 

Red Wine: HOLY SHIT

  
Red Wine: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU

 

Red Wine: I WILL DESTROY YOU

 

Cola: what happened

 

Steak: one word mirrors

 

Gingerbread: oh

 

Gingerbread: OH

 

Gingerbread: NICEEEEEEEEEEE

  
Red Wine: NO

  
Red Wine: NO

  
Red Wine: STFU

 

Cola: What HAPPENED

  
Steak: i reflected them sunlight on his face

 

Cola: hahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Red Wine: ugh

 

Red Wine: I swear to god

 

Cola: ok

 

Cola: i give up

 

Cola: i will die in shame

 

Hamburger: thats sad

 

Gingerbread: not really

 

Red Wine: ^^^

  
Cola: thanks for the support guys

 

Steak: your welcome

 

Cola: wait

 

Cola: I CANT GO DOWN LIKE THIS

  
Hamburger: congrats

 

Gingerbread: alright im going to put my life into use

 

Gingerbread: aka finding something to distract me from tiredness

 

Steak: already a step ahead of you

 

Hamburger: find out whats next in drago n ball ZZZZZZZZZZ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how am i still writing this


	4. hax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> b52 hacks more

Cola: i want to die

Hamburger: dont we all

Cola: u right u right

Red Wine: i mean

Red Wine: were all dead inside

Gingerbread: agreed

Steak: but are we fully dead or are we only dead inside

Red Wine: yes

Hamburger: bruh

Vodka has joined the chat

Gingerbread: WHY IS EVERYONE JOINING OUR CHAT

Vodka: B-52 gave us the link

Vodka: so yeet

Napoleon Cake has joined the chat

Napoleon Cake has changed their name to Napoleon

Pastel de Nata has joined the chat

Napoleon has changed Pastel de Nata’s name to Pastel

B-52 has joined the chat

Brownie has joined the chat

Steak: bro

Hamburger: why is all of you dive bombing us

B-52: WHY NOT

Cola:

Brownie: Just here because everyone else joined

Brownie: To be honest, you guys should get some sleep

Red Wine: um no

Red Wine: were having a competition here

Red Wine: Vodka where are you

Vodka: im high

Red Wine: oh great

Pastel: napoleon told me i should join

Pastel: so here i am

Pastel: but i aint having any of your bs

Gingerbread: fair enough

B-52 has locked everyone to the chat

Hamburger: B-52 how do you lock

B-52: hax

Steak: oh great

Napoleon: Pastel GIVE ME SUGAR

Pastel: no

Napoleon: y

Pastel: guys help

Red Wine: well

Cola: napoleon i have a box of cookies

Hamburger: i ate that one a week ago

Cola: WHAT

Brownie: Pastel, do you want me to do it?

Pastel: if you can yes

Pastel: i have my shift

B-52: brownie can i have some

Steak: jfc you guys

Brownie: Yes, you can have some

B-52:oh nice

Napoleon: BROWNIE B-52 GATHER AT THE KITCHEN

Pastel: oh great

Vodka: red should i come back to the room

Red Wine: are you still high

Vodka: yes

Red Wine: dont

Vodka: k

Steak: are we good

Hamburger: maybe

Gingerbread: i was away for 2 min

Gingerbread: and this shit happened

Cola: yes

Gingerbread: i s2g

Cola: TIME CHECK

Red Wine: 8:50

Cola: oh god

Cola: is this going on for too long

Steak: no

Hamburger: no

Gingerbread: fuck no

Red Wine: silence 9 year old

Gingerbread: silence bottom

Steak: she got you there

Red Wine: im not a bottom

Cola: lies

Hamburger: lies

Steak: nah fam

Gingerbread: steak you should know

Cola: finger guns

Steak: why should i know if this bastard is a bottom or no

Hamburger: my god

Red Wine: i

Red Wine: ill ta ke it

Red Wine: steak you dont need to know

Steak: i am so confused

Steak: i s2g

Steak: its fine its obvious that hes a bottom

Red Wine: no

Steak: silence bottom

Red Wine: 

Gingerbread: alright

Gingerbread: dont forget that other kids are here as well

Gingerbread: brownie b52 pastel vodka napoleon im looking at you

Pastel: i joined on force

Pastel: also interesting conversation you guys were having there

Cola: this is normal

Hamburger: yes

Vodka: the tea sis

Pastel: yes

Pastel: wait this is normal

Gingerbread: Y E S

Red Wine: unfortunately

Steak: agreed

Steak: even though i shouldnt agree with you

Red Wine: nice

Hamburger: yo guys how are you holding up

Steak: dead inside

Hamburger: dont we all

Red Wine: im fine

Gingerbread: 99% of me is still alive

Hamburger: what about the 1%

Gingerbread: slowly dying

Cola: attempt 2 at trying to find something wonderful

Hamburger: gl

Cola: thank you

Steak: i bet hes going to fail

Cola: b r o

Red Wine: you failed the last time

Cola: u right u right

Cola: ok bye

Gingerbread: kwestion

Steak: what is the kwestion

Gingerbread: you guys think MA is going to get triggered when she finds out that weve been doing this

Red Wine: Y E S

Red Wine: @everyone say nothing

B-52: nothing

Red Wine:

B-52: IM DOING WHAT YOU SAID

Vodka: ignore him

B-52: dont bully

Vodka: the correct definition of bully is

Brownie: Oh no.

Vodka: seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).

Cola: GET THOSE FANCY VOCABULARY WORDS OFF MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER

Red Wine: bruh im the one that owns the christian minecraft server 

Cola: oh yeah

Red Wine: THOSE WORDS ARE TOO UNHOLY TO TOUCH OUR BRAINS

Hamburger: BEGONE THOT

Vodka: k

Vodka: time to get high

Napoleon: WELL GREAT YOU GUYS LED US INTO WORLD WAR PROBABLY A HUNDRED

Brownie: More like a thousand.

Pastel: yes

B-52: alright hold up

B-52 has removed themselves along with 3 others

Red Wine: thank you

Red Wine: BACK TO THE CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER

Cola: YEET

Gingerbread: god forbid no

Gingerbread: pun intended

Hamburger: finger guns

Steak: you ever have the feeling

Steak: when you realize that sleeping is a gift

Steak: WE ALL ARE TAKING SLEEPING FOR GRANTED

Gingerbread: u right u right

Cola: you just realized that

Cola: ive known that since 2 am 

Red Wine: WE ARE NOT TAKING SLEEPING FOR GRANTED

Hamburger: LIES

Gingerbread: YOU LYING LITTLE SHIT

Gingerbread: HES DYING AND HE WONT ADMIT IT

Steak: JUST SAY THAT YOU DIED

Red Wine: no im not lying

Red Wine: I AM A L I V E

Cola: great

Gingerbread: he

Gingerbread: he isnt lying

Red Wine: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST COME INTO MY ROOM

Gingerbread: BECAUSE IT ISNT LOCKED

Hamburger: well duh

Red Wine: dont well duh me

Hamburger: no u

Red Wine:

Steak: he got you there

Cola: uno reverse card

Red Wine: thank god

Cola: yes i am god

Red Wine: wait no

Cola: BOW DOWN TO ME

Gingerbread: jfc

Cola: DONT INSULT MY SON

Hamburger: ...bro calm down

Steak: jesus is not your son

Cola: fine

Cola: finding something

Gingerbread: searching keywords everything in the universe

Gingerbread: 2298492708723857253872394235 results found

Steak: dont smash the numbers

Gingerbread: i can keyboard smash

Gingerbread: because i am always the one not sleeping in a bunk bed

Red Wine: oh great

Steak: all im going to do now is to jump off the cliff reincarnate into an airplane and crash into a tree then im going to become a chalk where my skin gets peels off painfully and then dissolve into powder then i will turn back into a food soul but then this time im going to use guns so i can kill myself epicly

Gingerbread: hes lost it

Hamburger: help us jesus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steak has lost it  
> rw co owns the christian minecraft server because skin the main creator was pretzel


	5. these kids are V A L I D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time to make some children demonic  
> hahahhahahahaha

B-52: But the roombas

Napoleon: stop it about the roombas

Pastel: are you a roomba species

B-52: yes

Vodka: hes the most expensive model

B-52: im a luxury

B-52: that few can afford

Brownie: B-52, please.

Napoleon: i need sugar

Pastel: no

Brownie: No.

Napoleon: B-52 and Vodka?

Vodka: im high

B-52: i can bake

Pastel: you can?

B-52: it is only editable by me

Napoleon: i was excited for a second

Vodka: dont get your hopes high

Vodka: Technology is not that advanced

B-52: excuse me

Pastel: well youre on your own

Napoleon: pls

Brownie: How about no?

Vodka: damn brownie is finally becoming merciless

Brownie: Yes I am. Also, how did you spell merciless while being high?

B-52: he can not become me

Brownie: What?

Vodka: nothing 

Vodka: also idrk

Brownie: I’m not stupid, you know.

B-52: OH REALLY  
B-52: i mean what

Napoleon: run hes gonna kill you

Brownie: I’m not going to.

Napoleon: WHY 

B-52: because im too awesome

Vodka: oh sure i believe you

Pastel: because hes gonna get so broken brownie has to fix him either way

Brownie: Yes.

B-52: whoa chill

Brownie: No.

Napoleon: someone find pretzel to baptize this kid because hes lost it

Brownie: No.

Napoleon: hes just replying with no

Brownie: No.

B-52: brownie, are you okay

Brownie: No.

Vodka: send this child help

Vodka: now

Brownie: No.

B-52: I think he’s becoming me

Brownie: No.

Vodka: guys brownie is gone

Vodka: someone go check on him

Brownie: Fuck off.

Napoleon: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA  
B-52: A L R I G H T W E A R E D O N E

Vodka: CALL FUCKING 911

Vodka: THIS CHILD IS NOT OK

Pastel: i did

Pastel: mental hospitals incoming

B-52: i am genuinely scared

Brownie: Perish.

B-52: OH YES FINALLY  
B-52: I GOT HIS PERMISSION TO GO DIE  
Brownie: Wait, no.

B-52: SO LONG  
Napoleon: great, we lost two

Vodka: this is a fucking mess lmao

Brownie: BIFTY 

B-52: YEAH

Brownie: DON’T YOU DARE  
B-52: BUT-

Brownie: No. 

B-52: give me hugs

Napoleon: oof

Brownie: I

Brownie: Fine.

Pastel: thank jesus that no one else is here

Vodka: sorry guys i was high so i put our group chat onto the projector

Napoleon: KILL IT NOW

Vodka: IDK HOW  
Napoleon: IS ANYONE SEEING THIS MESSAGE  
Napoleon: FRICK

Pastel: Well.

_Vodka has added Boston Lobster_

Pastel: WELL.

Vodka: hes the first person on my contact list other than you guys 

Boston: alright

Boston: just saying legit everyone is staring at the projector

Boston: we all witnessed the hookup

Boston: and brownies sin

Brownie: I did not sin.

Boston: u sweared

Brownie: Oh yeah.

B-52: brownie give me hugs

Brownie: Is that not what I’m doing right now?

B-52: I feed off hugs

Napoleon: being the heater he aint lying

B-52: no

Boston: you guys have more problems than red wine and them

Boston: yo if you guys are reading this on the projector FUCKING GET HELP

Vodka: oh yeah 

Vodka: i agree

Boston: duck bitch I would say the same to you

Pastel: oh nice

Napoleon: P A S T E L GIVE ME SUGAR

Pastel: no

Napoleon: Im going to die

Pastel: yeah sure

Brownie: I can’t assist you at the moment, so you’re on your own.

B-52: hes giving me hugs

Brownie: Yes, we know that.

Boston: i hear loud screaming

Boston: napoleon is that you

Napoleon: yes

Napoleon: Im gonna die

Napoleon: what do you expect me to do

Pastel: i hear it too

Pastel: fine

Pastel: but

Napoleon: But?

Pastel: G E T H E L P

Napoleon: have mercy

Pastel: fuck no

Napoleon: pastel why do you always swear

Pastel: im pissed

Vodka: you always pissed

Pastel: yes

Boston: gingerbread told me to tell you guys that she agrees

Boston: you might take over as the most pissed lmao

Pastel: wait are we still on the projector

Boston: yes

Pastel: FUCKING DISCONNECT

Boston: no

Pastel: YOU

Napoleon: he can be deadly

Napoleon: beware 

Boston: coffee told me you poisoned 158 people

Boston: is that true

Pastel: yes

Boston: shit

Napoleon: WAIT THAT WAS YOU

Pastel: yes

Napoleon: I WAS SICK FOr A MONTH

Pastel: sucks to be you

Pastel: you know what

Pastel: for the record of us being on the projector

Pastel: boston is everyone there

Boston: yes

Pastel: aright

Vodka: oh no

Pastel: I have: Poisoned 158 people, almost killed someone, made 347 bets, got a news report to myself by being FUCKING PISSED, and also stolen countless items

Boston: I

Boston: I am scared

Vodka: I am concerned

Napoleon: I am so scared I am crying

Pastel: FEAR ME

Boston: everyone agrees

Boston: Even MA is scared

B-52: I killed many humans

Boston: me too

Brownie: Bifty, don’t bring up your past.

B-52: you told me too many times

Boston: wait tf did he just call you

Boston: everyone brownie has pet names for b52

Vodka: were kind of used to it

Pastel: yeah

Napoleon: i disconnected us from the projector

Pastel: thank the lord

Napoleon: yes I am lord

Pastel: more like sugar lord

Napoleon: yes

Boston: everyones coming for your blood

Boston: they wanted to watch the show and you ruined it

Napoleon: oh freak

Napoleon: tell them ill reconnect

Pastel: no

Pastel: NO  
Pastel: _NO_

Pastel: **_NO_ **

Vodka: dont piss him off

Pastel: im always pissed

Vodka: I know

Vodka: dont piss him off more

Napoleon: were back on the screen

Pastel: fuck you

Napoleon: yes

B-52: excuse me what now

Boston: did i just see what i thought

Vodka: yes

Vodka: welcome to my world

Pastel: I

Pastel: napoleon you absolute bottom

Napoleon: to you~~~~~  
Pastel: perish 

Pastel: and reincarnate as a plant because of your FUCKING SINS

Vodka: damn

Boston: is he ok

B-52: napo is almost never okay

B-52: Pastel has not been okay ever since he got summoned

Brownie: I think he’s high from sugar again.

Boston: thats a thing

Brownie: For him, yes.

Vodka: dont forget were still on the projector lmao

Vodka: boston im coming

Boston: come join the tea crew

Boston: black tea yes I just stole it

Boston: and no you can not come from the other side of the room to maul me

Boston: milk hold her back

Pastel: napoleon i will give u lots of sugar also ily

Boston: excuse me what now

Vodka: bruh

Pastel: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

Pastel: HE TOOK MY PHONE  
Pastel: BITCH COME HERE  
Boston: thats more like it

Vodka: ah yes hes back

Brownie: I was concerned for a second.

B-52: me too

B-52: i think napoleons dead

Napoleon: I am alive

Pastel: GIVE ME YOUR LOCATION

Pastel: RIGHt N O W  
Napoleon: Yes so the problem is 

Napoleon: I am about to be dead

Vodka: lobster i am here

Vodka: oh yes thank you for the applause

Boston: the new celebrity lmao

Vodka: alright ill see myself in action

Boston: same

Boston: i am in all of the tea

Boston: here have this

Vodka: oh you hacked their chat too

Boston: no I just took steaks phone

Vodka: oh

Vodka: well i see red screaming everyday about shit

Vodka: so

Vodka: i should be concerned

Brownie: Guys, help.

Vodka: yes?

Brownie: Bifty wants hugs again.

Vodka: normal, normal

Brownie: He won’t let go of me.

Boston: big oof

Boston: welp

Boston: receive the hugs

Vodka: Ye

Vodka: well pastel is off killing napo

Vodka: and bifty is hugging brownie to death

Vodka: i guess the chat is ours now

Boston: yes

Boston: weed you want to join us

Vodka: slut and duck bitch is too uncivilized

Vodka: I will disconnect if any of you come and beat me

_Boston Lobster has added Yuxiang to the chat_

Yuxiang: FUCKING FINALLY  
Yuxiang: Ive waited

Boston: welcome to hell

Yuxiang: THIS IS HEAVEN

Vodka: the tea

Vodka: no tea you can not touch me

Boston: alright

Boston: should we get the kids civilized

Napoleon: I am beaten into a pulp

Pastel: lies

Pastel: you only passed out for one minute

Boston: OH SHIT  
Yuxiang: nvm this is hell

Brownie: Finally, I am free.

B-52: do you dislike me

Brownie: No.

B-52: But

Brownie: We all love and appreciate you.

B-52: finally I am loved

Yuxiang: imma get some of the good shit with duck

Yuxiang: farewell children

Vodka: so long weed

_Yuxiang has left the chat_

Vodka: bifty child ofc you are loved

Boston: you guys are too soft man

Vodka: in our group chat with weed duck bitch and slut all we do is scream at each other

Boston: yes

Boston: you guys are too valid

Vodka: yes i know we are

Pastel: alright

Pastel: Boston is steak and them people still awake

Boston: yes

Boston: they look like a wreck

Brownie: Well, they really need to sleep soon.

Napoleon: brownie we all know you are valid ok

B-52: no I am the most valid

Brownie: I mean.

Brownie: Sure?

Boston: all you kids are valid

Pastel: who

Pastel: NAPOLEON I WILL KILL YOU

Napoleon: DANG IT YOU SAW IT  
Napoleon: B Y E

Pastel: no need to run

Pastel: i have my ways

Pastel: oh yes 

Pastel: yes

Vodka: i think you broke him

Pastel: yes

Napoleon: Im scared

Boston: fucking run

Napoleon: Im kind of curious to what he would do actually

B-52: you will regret

Napoleon: he

Napoleon: he

Napoleon: he

Boston: what

Napoleon: he stole my hat

Vodka: OH SHIT  
Pastel: There is no way to kill me.

Pastel: You can try.

Pastel: YOU CAN T R Y.

Napoleon: i cant

Napoleon: i cant kill him

Boston: why

Napoleon: brownie you know why

Brownie: I do, actually.

Brownie: Should I not say it?

Napoleon: dont

Brownie: Alright.

Vodka: lobster popcorn has brought popcorn

Boston: oh yes

Boston: thank you

Boston: TEA GIVE US TEA  
B-52: I will take pastel to the therapist

B-52: you guys clean up this mess

Brownie: Okay.

Brownie: Napo, you alright?

Pastel: he is monster of corsica without hat

Napoleon: yes i am

Pastel: which is why i fucking stole it

Pastel: what

Pastel: napoleon why are you

Pastel: THAT SHIT IS SINNED

Pastel: DIE

Boston: whats the tea

Pastel: HES SENDING ME WEIRD STUFF ON PRIVATE MESSAGING

Vodka: SPILL THE TEA  
Vodka: YES WE ARE SAYING THIS SHIT TO PISS YOU OFF TEA 

Pastel: i cant believe this is coming out of your mouth

Pastel: stop

Pastel: STOP  
Pastel: YOU ARE BEING WEIRD  
Vodka: WHAT IS IT  
Brownie: I am so confused.

Boston: SPILL IT  
Pastel: he

Pastel: WHAT

Pastel: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK  
Vodka: EVERYONES WAITING

Vodka: WHAT IS IT  
Pastel: YOU

Pastel: YOURE WEIRD  
Napoleon: I told him to fuck me

Pastel: FUCKING KILL ME THATS WHAT  
Boston: OH SHIT  
Brownie: NAPOLEON

Vodka: HOLD UP WHAT NOW  
B-52: RECIEVE HELP

Boston: SOMEONE GET THE FUCKING PREIST  
B-52: YES SIR  
Vodka: HE 

Vodka: GUYS HELP HIM

Vodka: IF YALL CAN SEE THIS GET THE BOY SOME HELP

Vodka: WE NEED ALL SUPPORT

Brownie: ALL UNITS, ON DECK.

Brownie: I AM GETTING MASTER ATTENDANT.

Boston: SHES HERE  
Boston: GIVE ME HIS LOCATION I AM BRINGING MA OVER

Boston: THIS IS A FUCKING EMERGENCY HIS MIND IS NOT WELL

Pastel: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS  
Pastel: I SHOULD BE CONCERNED  
Pastel: I AM CONCERNED

Pastel: IF IT WERE NOT FOR THE LAWS OF THIS COUNTRY I WOULD END YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU OWN 

Vodka: cut his supply

Pastel: oh yes

Napoleon: NO IM SORRY

Pastel: welp

Pastel: brownie do you hear me

Brownie: Yes.

Pastel: Month.

Pastel: have fun lmao

Napoleon: just give me my hat

Pastel: under the stairs

Napoleon: How do you come up with these places

Pastel: Im smart

Napoleon: yeah sure

Pastel: +1 week

Vodka: remember that he has no mercy

Boston: he never has

Boston: alright im going to bed

Boston: you all need fucking help

Vodka: me too 

Vodka: fucking go to bed

Vodka: all of you

B-52: I dont sleep

Vodka: lay in bed

Vodka: and stay there

B-52: I dont have

Vodka: what the fuck

Brownie: You can come to my room, if you want.

B-52: Okay

Boston: You kids are valid the other two are not

Pastel: No Napo is not

Pastel: I am

Vodka: GO TO BED 

Vodka: ITS FUCKING 1 IN THE MORING

Vodka: WE WILL TAKE THIS TO ANOTHER DAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not sorry, not one bit  
> then again i write smut fics in one sitting


	6. my oc joins the tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes so i came up the idea of galaxy cake when i was writing my other fic that have the weird zelgo text title  
> i feel like she needs more love so here she is  
> she is in the same state as vodka, middle of all the tea  
> though she joins later on because i already started this chapter some time ago  
> my oc is an exact mold of my personality and etc, so this gives off who i am  
> oof

Steak: that was interesting

Red Wine: Vodka and them are more messed up than us lmao

Gingerbread: me and pretzel made napoleon confess his sins

Gingerbread: and holy shit he is a mess

Cola: I can predict that

Vodka: of course hes a mess

Vodka: and yes i am still here fuckers

Hamburger: what

Steak: where did you come from

Vodka: b52 forgot to remove me

Vodka: so now i am here

Red Wine: great

Vodka: nice to see that I am now in all the messed up group chats

Hamburger: WHOA WHOA WHOA

  
Vodka: well 

Vodka: you people refused to sleep

Vodka: naked weed1 weed2 and slut screams at each other on a regular basis and I mean literally once weed2 discovered voice messaging

Vodka: and you have seen what my squad is like

Vodka: so

Cola: damn you is in all of the tea

Vodka: yes

Steak: well

Red Wine: well, fucking get help

Steak: same to you

Red Wine: on your brain, as the contents of it is literally none

Steak: dont talk about yourself like that that is low self esteem

Gingerbread: stop and perish

Hamburger: no u

Gingerbread: you are not involved

Cola: he likes to

Hamburger: yes

Vodka: jesus

Vodka: SAVE THESE COMMONERS   
Red Wine: isnt that sphaghets line

Vodka: yes

Vodka: i stole it 

Red Wine: nice

Steak: do i not understand alcoholic food souls

Red Wine: never

Vodka: never

Steak: i see why you two share a room

Red Wine: idek why

Vodka: big mood

Vodka: i mean

Vodka: yeah this is pretty random

Steak: since me and lobster shares a room

Steak: its fucking hot 

Vodka: get help

Steak: from where

Cola: well

Gingerbread: SHIT JUST REMEMBERED

Gingerbread: DID ANY OF YOU SET A TIMER 

Gingerbread: FOR THE COOKIES I FORGOT

Cola: ME TOO

Hamburger: ME THREE

  
Steak: SHIT WE ARE SCREWED I FORGOT TOO

  
Vodka: jfc MA is gonna kill you all

Red Wine: I already got it out 10 minutes prior

Steak: oh thank jesus i love you

Cola: insert audible gasp

Vodka: oh my god

Hamburger: I am speechless

Red Wine:

Gingerbread: YOU ALL HEARD IT HERE BITCHES

Steak: WAIT I DIDNT MEAN IT

Red Wine: get help

Steak: i was tired

Gingerbread: OH YES   
Steak: shut up

Vodka: SETTLE THIS IN THE PIT

Gingerbread: NO THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

Red Wine: YOU HEARD THE DRUNK AUNT

  
Red Wine: MEET ME IN THE PIT

Steak: OH I WILL

Vodka: oh wait so now im known as the drunk aunt

Hamburger: yes

Vodka: alright

Vodka: but that was truly beautiful

Gingerbread: ikr

Gingerbread: ive been waiting fucking forever for this

Gingerbread: i took like

Gingerbread: 10000 screenshots

Cola: I SENCE BLACKMAIL

Gingerbread: yes that is what im going to do

Hamburger: save us lord 

Vodka: not me i am normal

Cola: yeah sure drunk aunt

Vodka: uno reverse card

Cola: can you not

Vodka: no

Vodka: believe me i am the most normal out of the people ive been around

Vodka: b52 if you are reading this i still love and appreciate you

Gingerbread: oh yeah i almost forgot that he hacks all the chats

Vodka: i never forget

Vodka: because i would regret it

Vodka: do not anger the sans whisperer

Hamburger: sAnS

Cola: bro, no

Hamburger: ok

Vodka: hold up imma check on the small and his people

Vodka: the small i am referring to napo

Gingerbread: oh okay

Red Wine: we have returned

Steak: tie

Gingerbread: this is like your 486th tie

Gingerbread: wtf guys

Red Wine: idek

Steak: this time probably because im tired

Red Wine: im not

Red Wine: i could have mauled you

Cola: THEN WHY DIDNT YOU DO IT

Red Wine: because 

Steak: because if i died he cant beat me again

Red Wine: yes

Red Wine: i want to defeat this bitch many times before i kill him

Gingerbread: well for one he confessed to you

Steak: wtf

Gingerbread: second legit from the moment i met you two its all ties

Gingerbread: like seriously

Gingerbread: what the actual fuck

Red Wine: idk

Hamburger: you tell me

Vodka: back

Vodka: who won

Gingerbread: another tie

Vodka: wtf

Gingerbread: i know

Vodka: im pretty sure they have been getting all ties

Cola: yes

Vodka: nice

Vodka: real nice

Hamburger: wait vodka

Vodka: yes

Hamburger: how the heck do you type so fast

Cola: yeah

Cola: me and my bro here we type really slow

Vodka: well

Vodka: i mean

Vodka: i dont know actually

Steak: is it because your a magic soul and they are fucking fast

Cola: bro

Cola: im slow

Vodka: oh i know

Vodka: i always i get high

Vodka: then i keyboard smash

Vodka: dont ask why

Vodka: then i decipher them

Vodka: eventually i type as fast as one keyboard smashes

Cola: damn

Gingerbread: WELL OKAY

Red Wine: oh i did the same

Red Wine: i need more practice

Steak: you people are crazy

Vodka: i know

Vodka: i think the only sane alcoholic food soul currently is b-52

Vodka: the rest of us

Red Wine: OH BOY

Vodka: yes

Red Wine: i mean

Red Wine: last week sake threw himself out a window

Red Wine: and yellow got his head stuck in the railings

Gingerbread: wtf you people

Hamburger: i am concerned

Cola: me too

Steak: i am always concerned

Vodka: i mean

Vodka: MA is limited on us food souls

Vodka: so if any other alcoholic fs comes i will invest them to be drunk

Red Wine: its in our nature lmao

Vodka: i will make it shine

Cola: get help 

Cola: your entire species needs help

Red Wine: excuse me what

Vodka: cola you are basically related to us

Cola: what

Vodka: d r i n k s

Cola: oh

Cola: OH

Hamburger: now im concerned for you, bro

Steak: agreed

Gingerbread: recieve fucking assistance

Vodka: how about no

Red Wine: how about no

Steak: jesus its like your minds are connected

Steak: get help

Red Wine: no

Vodka: no

Hamburger: you are freaking me out

Vodka: oh really

Red Wine: oh really

Gingerbread: i am scared

Red Wine: sucks to be you

Vodka: sucks to be you

Steak: my god

Cola: please 

Red Wine: reverse uno card

Vodka: reverse uno card

Steak: alright i found them

Steak: i am sure that they are high

Steak: they are plotting evil shit

Red Wine: i dont know what your talking about

Vodka: i dont know what your talking about

Steak: they

Steak: they are plotting on message sending

Vodka: fuck you found us

Vodka: and yes we are high

Red Wine: i am

Red Wine: very

Vodka: 80% of the times i am high

Vodka: so

Cola: get help

Gingerbread: agreed

Hamburger: steak

Steak: yea

Hamburger: dont come close to them

Hamburger: i did once

Hamburger: MA had to use melt and mold

Steak: oh shit

Steak: welp

Vodka: THERE IS A FLYING PAPER   
Red Wine: WHERE   
Red Wine: SHIT

Red Wine: GET IT   
Vodka: IM TRYING   
Gingerbread: whos going

Cola: for what

Gingerbread: provide help to the drunk

Cola: i will go

Cola: remember me

Hamburger: you will be missed bro

Gingerbread: f in the chat

Steak: press f for respect

Hamburger: big F, bro

Gingerbread: F, your service will not be forgotten

Steak: F, and we all need help

Cola: i took them away

Cola: i am alive

Hamburger: congratulations

Red Wine: YOU CAN NOT GET RID OF ME

Vodka: ME NEITHER   
Vodka: peRISH

Cola: i locked them up lmao

Cola: in separate rooms, as the chance of a hookup increases by 70% when people are drunk

Gingerbread: oh SHIT   
Steak: well

Steak: that better not be happening

Gingerbread: whyyyyyyy????????????????

Steak: this is the gay server

Steak: and that shit is straight

Hamburger: u right u right

Vodka: REVERSE UNO CARD   
Red Wine: I T POSE FOR JESUS

Steak: i forgot those two are still here

Gingerbread: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MANAGE THAT

Steak: you tell me

Gingerbread: idk

Gingerbread: FITE ME   
Steak: why

Gingerbread: the amount of times that you beat me will be your iq points

Steak: oh then i would be smart

Gingerbread: how about 0

Gingerbread: COME TO THE PIT

Gingerbread: I WILL KILL YOU

Red Wine: dont

Red Wine: I want to kill him

Vodka: me too

Steak: vodka when are you involved

Vodka: for your fucking sins

Cola: damn

Vodka: pastel has turned me 

Gingerbread: oh yes he is now officially the most pissed

Gingerbread: i take my hat off to him

Vodka: when he was on le projector he was actually tired

Vodka: that was about 20% of his total power of the anger

Gingerbread: no shit

Gingerbread: are we going to settle this in the pit or no

Steak: yes

Gingerbread: alright

Vodka: and now i take over this chat

Vodka: yes i can still type when im high

Red Wine: me too

Cola: oh great

Hamburger: real nice

Vodka: has those two ever sworn before

Cola: i dont even know

Red Wine: from my shit memory no

Hamburger: i dont know

Hamburger: my memory is also limited

Vodka: OH MY GOD

Gingerbread:?????????????????

Vodka: Napo let someone new join our squad of squad

Vodka: finally another female

Gingerbread: L U C K Y

Vodka: i am adding her in

Cola: wait why

_ Vodka has added Galaxy Cake _

Galaxy Cake: no shit, my name is too long

_ Galaxy Cake has changed their name to Galaxy _

Galaxy: much better

Steak: she won god damn it

Steak: wait who is this

Galaxy: i am

Galaxy: ur mum

Steak: MOTHER   
Vodka: you two look nothing alike

Steak: i havent met this person yet

Galaxy: me neither

Galaxy: i am currently camping in the main room

Galaxy: as i do not have a room

Galaxy: feel free to drop by bitches

Galaxy: especially when you WALK OUT THE FRONT DOOR

Cola: i dont know who this person is but you are already valid god damn

Hamburger: agreed

Hamburger: and she types fast

Cola: is you not alcoholic fs?

Galaxy: excuse me what

Vodka: bruh she type of cake

Galaxy: yes i am

Galaxy: and i type fast because i play video games

Galaxy: and if i dont address something fast to my teammates everyone gets slaughtered

Red Wine: i see

Gingerbread: that excuse is way more valid

Galaxy: i am valid

Vodka: which is why you are in the valid squad

Vodka: actually

Vodka: Pastel isnt lmao he insane

Vodka: but he is here because he is the sugar supplier ™

Vodka: napo isnt valid either because of sins

Vodka: but he is the contacter of the outside world™

Vodka: wait no brownie discovered you first

Galaxy: yes

Galaxy: the first moment i joined their group chat we had a screaming party

Vodka: screaming party™

Galaxy: yes

Steak: can you two stop taking over the chat

Vodka: oh ok

Vodka: im going to fix biftys mistake

_ Vodka has left the chat along with Galaxy _

Gingerbread: LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE

  
Gingerbread: FUCK YOU

Steak: reverse uno card

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next up-galaxy joins in another screaming party trademark(too lazy to copy over the symbol)


	7. FINALLY I GAVE THEM NAMES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk

Vodka: we are back

Galaxy: yes

Napoleon: oh hi

Napoleon: pastel is trying to kill me

Brownie: Again, as you might have guessed.

B-52: it’s been going on since the beginning of time

Galaxy: i would guess this is normal

Vodka: very

Vodka: yo are you still out for blood

Pastel: yes

Napoleon: and I am dead

Galaxy: Hold up

Galaxy: Bifty u got mah note

B-52: Yes

Galaxy: Alright you take half Ill take care of myself

Vodka: wait what is this

_ Galaxy has changed Vodka’s name to Sober _

Sober: that is mocking me and my dignity

_ B-52 has changed Napoleon’s name to Sugar Extractor _

Sugar Extractor: what is this fancy word

Brownie: Too long.

Galaxy: too long and fancy 

Galaxy: I’ll do it

_ Galaxy has changed Sugar Extractor’s name to Smol Vacuum _

Pastel: that is so true 

_ Galaxy has changed their name to Meme _

Smol Vacuum: Excuse me what now

Meme: This is my purpose to which why I’m created

_ B-52 has changed their name to Sans Whisperer _

Sans Whisperer: My soul role

_ Sans Whisperer has changed Pastel’s name to Blood Murder _

Blood Murder: what

Smol Vacuum: This is, a scary fact, true

_ Sans Whisperer has changed Brownie’s name to Snaps Sometimes _

Meme: no not sometimes

_ Meme has changed Snaps Sometimes to Pissed _

Pissed: I-

Pissed: Is this what I am, described to you guys?

Sans Whisperer: Sadly, yes

Pissed: I would say that @Blood Murder has more rule with this name.

Meme: u right u right

_ Meme has changed Blood Murder’s name to Pissed _ _ ™ _

_ Meme has changed Pissed’s name to Mother _

Meme: take care of us, mother

Mother: Is this the assuming of my gender?

Meme: oh no

Sans Whisperer: no not really

Mother: I don’t know how to change it, so I’ll let it pass for now.

Pissed ™: is the trademark necessary

Sober: yes

Sober: very

Meme: it is so essential you cant live without it

Pissed ™: stfu and kys

Meme: chill

Meme: or I will not let you out the front fucking door

Pissed ™: watch me

Meme: never

Sober: nice job fitting in

Meme: thank you

Smol Vacuum: Ok so

Smol Vacuum: do you remember what I told you last night

Meme: yes sir

Smol Vacuum: then DO IT

Meme: now??????   
Smol Vacuum: WHEN ELSE   
Meme: uh

Meme: ok sure

Mother: What are you two planning?

Smol Vacuum: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nothin

Meme: nothing nothing

Pissed ™: tell me

Smol Vacuum: why

Pissed ™: So you can live another day

Smol Vacuum: we study

Meme: yes totally

Smol Vacuum: dont blow this for us

Meme: same to you

Pissed ™: tf is it

Meme: uh demonic stuff

Pissed ™: wtf

Smol Vacuum: yes yes

Smol Vacuum: now we must do it

Meme: bye

Mother: Well, I guess we’re dead.

Sober: agreed

Sober: where’s bitty

Mother: B-52?

Pissed ™: @Sans Whisperer

Mother: Are you busy?

Sober: I can see why galaxy gave you that name

Sober: i mean

Sober: bifty you good

Pissed ™: @Sans Whisperer seriously, are you good

Sans Whisperer: I

Sans Whisperer: I’m not good actually

Sans Whisperer: crying myself to sleep

Sober: you cant sleep

Sans Whisperer: then I am laying on the ground while oxidane is flowing from my eyes to the ground

Mother: Why, exactly?

Sans Whisperer: because 

Sans Whisperer: reasons

Meme: do not get depression, thank you very much

Meme: but seriously, get help

Meme: someone go help him

Mother: I’ll go. You guys carry on.

Pissed ™: what are you two doing

Smol Vacuum: uh

Meme: summoning satan

Pissed ™: you people are 

Pissed ™: impossible

Smol Vacuum: its the nature of fitting in

Meme: yes yes correct

Pissed ™: Suspicious

Sober: Alright 

Sober: its time

Pissed ™: come on it just happened like 2 days ago

Smol Vacuum: vodka no

Sober: ITS TIME YOU FUCKERS

  
Pissed ™: Shes high

Meme: agreed

Meme: also time for what

Sober: THE AWAKENING

  
Meme: excuse me what now

Pissed ™: aka endless screaming

Pissed ™: my throat still hurts after the last one

Smol Vacuum: my inner self was released

Pissed ™: yes but we do not speak of your inner self

Smol Vacuum: no never

Pissed ™: reverse uno card

Meme: and you are dead

Smol Vacuum: f in the chat

Meme: f

Sober: ITS TIME   
Sober: hURRY UP

Pissed ™: yall should we postpone this

Pissed ™: i vote yes

Smol Vacuum: agreed

Meme: i guess yes?

Sober: you guys are no fun

Sober: ah well

Sober: this is why I get high

Meme : alone with your 4000 other reasons

Sober: you are correct

Pissed ™: you know what, get help

Sober: wow rude

Pissed ™: then be hurt

Smol Vacuum: dont push him

Meme: yeah, dont

Meme: dont

Meme: ive only been with yall for two months but I know

Meme: i know

Sober: i will not be hurt

Sober: your dignity will

Smol Vacuum: here we go again

Meme: ah great

Meme: the mf tea begins

Pissed ™: your actual existence needs to perish

Sober: reverse uno card

Sober: my existence is too great to be dead

Sober: unlike yours which comes from the recycle bin

Pissed ™: you need 911 looking after you

Pissed ™: every single day

Sober: your life was a mistake

Sober: no offence

Meme: none taken

Pissed ™: your creation made god regret his choices in his life, and with a life as long as his you surely made a dent

Pissed ™: even some of his creations such as pollution look down on you 

Sober: i am honored for that god remembers me actually, in which unlike you who is just any other normal creation of god

Sober: i am responsible™

Pissed ™: responsible my ass

Pissed ™: you were the same person that lost an entire tree

Sober: hey that was an accident

Sober: not my fault that 80 tons of smoke just appeared out of NOWHERE

Sober: btw, your appearance is the actual checklist for how to become trans

Sober: u gay

Pissed ™: *you’re

Pissed ™: your appearance look like a mirror image of the great grandma of any human I pull up from upon the street

Pissed ™: AND, MAY I ADD, EVERYONE IS GAY THESE DAYS

Sober: much as i hate to say it but u right u right

Pissed ™: yes i state facts

Pissed ™: you speak shit

Sober: state your source

  
Smol Vacuum: ALRIGHT

Meme: STOP

Pissed ™: never

Sober: never

Smol Vacuum: i will get the hostage

Sober: dont you touch him

Meme: i will get hostage #2

Pissed ™: if you as much as in a 5 foot radius of it i will kill you

Smol Vacuum: so stop

Meme: and actually get help

Smol Vacuum: someone call 911

Sober: btw

Sober: are those two good

Meme: imma go check on em

Smol Vacuum: but we are far away

Meme: i got this

Meme: alright done

Pissed ™: wtf

Meme: and me god

Meme: they made a cuddle pile

Meme: it was 

Meme: cute

Sober: they do that all the time

Smol Vacuum: yea

Pissed ™: i suppose

Pissed ™: i dont socialize

Smol Vacuum: because he is pissed all the time 90% of the time being me

Pissed ™: that is correct

Meme: well

Meme: 45% of it is about to be me

Meme: because we are

Smol Vacuum: partners

Meme: hell yeah

Pissed ™: hell no

Pissed ™: i am not dealing with both of you

Sober: i will provide le assistance

Smol Vacuum: i thought you were russian

Sober: yes

Sober: that is the only word I know though

Pissed ™: i see you two besides the window and may i say

Pissed ™: fuck off

Meme: DANG IT

  
Meme: WHO BLEW IT

  
Pissed ™: napoleon

Pissed ™: you need to stop wearing hats

Smol Vacuum: NEVER

  
Smol Vacuum: YOU CANT MAKE ME

  
Sans Whisperer: my sanity is back

Meme: welcome welcome

Sober: long time no see

Mother: Because he was a mess.

Sans Whisperer: MY WILL TO LIVE IS BACK

Sans Whisperer: temporarily

Mother: Can you not?

Sober: Please, it would pain me if you died. Do not do it.

Sans Whisperer: since you actually used grammar i rule this as a serious matter

Sans Whisperer: i will expand my will to live from one month to two months

Sober: I will rule it as an upgrade

Sober: of course you can extend it more

Sans Whisperer: ehhhh ill think about it

Mother: I’ll make sure he won’t die.

Sober: you better

Pissed ™: COME BACK YOU SCUMS   
Meme; NEVER

  
Smol Vacuum: GO TO YOU KNOW WHERE

  
Mother: And, what happened?

Pissed ™: they stole the stuff i made

Pissed ™: it was supposed for a delivery

Pissed ™: that’s in ONE HOUR

  
Mother: Do you need assistance?

Pissed ™: please

Mother: Alright.

Sans Whisperer: so

Sans Whisperer: uh

Sans Whisperer: i did something

Sans Whisperer: you guys mayyyyy get mad

Meme: WHY IS THE CLOSET ON FIRE

Meme: WHO DID IT

Sans Whisperer: i did it

Sans Whisperer: ON ACCIDENT

Sans Whisperer: MAY I ADD

  
Sober: great

Sober: this is like the 60th time

Sans Whisperer: im sorry

Sober: fix it

Sans Whisperer: HOW

  
Sober: jfc

Sober: @Mother please take care of this

Mother: Sure.

Sober: thank you

Smol Vacuum: hey anyone have a pen

Sober: why tf you need a pen for

Smol Vacuum: reasonssssssss

Sober: then no i dont have a pen

Smol Vacuum: WHY DID YOU ASK

  
Sober: no reason

Pissed ™: Theres like

Pissed ™: 50 pens in the closet

Sans Whisperer: its on fire

Pissed ™: OH

  
Pissed ™: well f you dont get a pen

Pissed ™: I was wondering why brownie left me

Mother: They told me to put it out, so I did it.

Pissed ™: ofc you would

Meme: napoleon wants a pen because 

Smol Vacuum: dont you dare

Meme: uh

Meme: : )

Sober: ah shit here we go again

Pissed ™: mood

Sans Whisperer: look i didnt mean to burn everything up

Mother: Yeah, I would sure hope you didn’t.

Sober: ooooooh

Meme: ouch

Sans Whisperer: Why me out of all of the people

Sans Whisperer: Why not Napoleon

Smol Vacuum: wow rude

Smol Vacuum: but why did you mention me

Mother: Would I like to say, no offence Napoleon, that you know that sometimes you can be a serious pain in the ass?

Sober: OH

Sans Whisperer: Okay, this is too far you got dissed by Brownie

Pissed ™: jfc have mercy

Meme: NOW YOURE SAYING IT

  
Meme: HA

Pissed ™: my GOD

  
Pissed ™: just

Sober: shall we call it a day

Sans Whisperer: please


	8. sinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy hell   
> oh wait, i used this joke already  
> how original

_ Meme has added themselves to the chat _

Meme: sup I have decided to return

Meme: accept me

Gingerbread: ofc also that is the most gorgeous username I have ever seen in my life

Meme: I named everyone and myself with my good oPiNiOnS

Meme: Ive come to send you guys the gift of being named by me

Steak: christ

Meme: disclaimer i dont know you guys that good

Cola: ow

Meme: no mercy

Meme: anyways

Red Wine: wow did you take after pastel

Meme: uhhh maybe

Meme: let it commence

Red Wine: shit here we go again

Gingerbread: this is exactly gonna be like the incident last year with the lobster isnt it

Meme: now im curious what happened

Steak: he stole my phone and changed all our names to sinner

Red Wine: we both know who the real sinner is

Meme: who

Hamburger: he is not present at the moment

Cola: hes kinda weird ngl

Steak: wow being a dick to demons even

Red Wine: do you actually feel pity for him

Steak: no

Meme: alright

Meme: yes this will be exactly like the last one

Meme: I am sure you guys will kill me

Gingerbread: oh shit 

Cola: jesus fucking christ why

_ Meme has changed Red Wine’s name to Most Sinned _

_ Meme has changed Steak’s name to #2 Most Sinned _

_ Meme has changed Gingerbread’s name to Smol Sinner _

_ Meme has changed Cola’s name to #3 Most Sinned _

_ Meme has changed Hamburger’s name to Least Sinned _

Least Sinned: thank god

Smol Sinner: what the absolute FUCK

  
Smol Sinner: Galaxy you know for a fact that you are only 5cm taller than me

Most Sinned: Still a lot

Most Sinned: also what the fuck

#3 Most Sinned: you are the only person out of all of us that has murdered before

Least Sinned: may I add of many humans

Most Sinned: you have a point

Meme: wait WHAT

#2 Most Sinned: just

#2 Most Sinned: he does this on a monthly basis

Meme: wow I am shook

_ Meme has changed Most Sinned’s name to The Sinner _

The Sinner: Surprisingly this makes me feel important

_ #2 Most Sinned has changed their name to #2 Sinner _

_ #2 Sinner has changed #3 Most Sinned’s name to #3 Sinner _

#2 Sinner: It was too long

Smol Sinner: Why are we always sinners

Meme: this is your life

Meme: fucking accept it

#2 Sinner: then end me

The Sinner: Gladly

#2 Sinner: and I guess I have fucked up

#3 Sinner: hell yeah you have

Smol Sinner: I hid his sword but he found it

Smol Sinner: fucking run

Meme: now I see why I gave him the highest honor in the sinning community

Meme: he is

Meme: a sinner

Meme: like really

Least Sinned: took you awhile

Smol Sinner: while we wait for red to kill him

Smol Sinner: how’s the other people

Meme: First I changed their usernames

Meme: well B-52 gave himself his username

Meme: but still

#3 Sinner: what are their users???

Meme: Brownie: Mother::B-52: Sans Whisperer::Vodka: Sober:: Napoleon: Smol Vacuum::Pastel: PissedTM     

Least Sinned: my god you type fast

Least Sinned: but now we know in case their chat gets malfunctioned and we watch them again

Meme: ahem did you forget who is also in there

Least Sinned: oh right

Smol Sinner: get them to malfunction 

Smol Sinner: I needs me tea

#3 Sinner: To be honest, same

Meme: we must alllll have the tea

Smol Sinner: just dont make it weird around bt

Least Sinned: yh that be smart

Meme: who

Smol Sinner: i swear to fucking god

Meme: OH I remember now

Smol Sinner: thank jesus

Meme: you are sinners

Meme: yet you want jesus’s forgiveness

#3 Sinner: look at your own damn username

Meme: oh you have a point

Least Sinned: thank you

Meme: random thought

#3 Sinner: yeah

_ Meme has sent a direct message to Smol Sinner _

Least Sinned: well so much for that

Smol Sinner: oh hell yeah

Meme: so nata was right

Smol Sinner: what did he say

Meme: yesterday he was having an Insulting Match TM  with the drunk aunt and he said, and I quote, “AND, MAY I ADD, EVERYONE’S GAY THESE DAYS”

#3 Sinner: oh yes that is the most correct

Least Sinned: yep

#3 Sinner: so any of you think @#2 Sinner is still alive?

Least Sinned: probably not

Meme: and they were ROOMMATES

  
#3 Sinner: oh my god they were roommates

Least Sinned: omg they were roommates

Smol Sinner: oh me god they were rOoMmAtEs

Meme: wow we are the people

Least Sinned: wait I thought I was the only one that knew this vine

#3 Sinner: dont forget that you study the memes with me

Least Sinned: oh yeah

Meme: my user explains it

Smol Sinner: yes I do know vines

#3 Sinner: shocker

Least Sinned: weird flex but ok

Smol Sinner: knowledge of memes is never a weird flex

Least Sinned: u right u right

Meme: why

#3 Sinner: why not 

Meme: I will kill all of you

#3 Sinner: Violence is not the answer

Meme: Violence is the question

Least Sinned: and the answer to the question is

Smol Sinner: HELL YEAH

Meme: I am actually wheezing right now

Smol Sinner: s a m e

The Sinner: oh off to a family bonding without me

#3 Sinner: jfc you scared me

#3 Sinner: wait where’s the other one

Meme: oh no

The Sinner: he’s dead

Smol Sinner: why you kill your bf???

The Sinner: you’re next

Smol Sinner: well shit

#2 Sinner: fuck you I lived

The Sinner: dang it

The Sinner: should have stabbed you ten more times

Least Sinned: Wait hold up what

#2 Sinner: I have scars now because of him

#2 Sinner: so fuck

Least Sinned: well I guess you guys really did kill each other

#2 Sinner: not really because I am still here

The Sinner: not for long

#2 Sinner: can you not

The Sinner: never

#3 Sinner: is it weird that right now I really want to listen to sick beat drops 

Smol Sinner: that was sudden

#3 Sinner: it just came

#3 Sinner: help me I might die if I dont hear it soon

Least Sinned: already on the internet

Meme: should I be concerned

Meme: or scared

Smol Sinner: both

#2 Sinner: make sure they are sick

#3 Sinner: I will kill all of you if it was not

Meme: what did we say about violence

#2 Sinner: what did you

Meme: scroll up

Smol Sinner: Red are you done with killing people

The Sinner: maybe

Smol Sinner: that is not really a good answer

The Sinner: fine

#2 Sinner: wow you sound like you were forced

Least Sinned: be like: fuck it

#3 Sinner: gasp

The Sinner: first swear has been taken

Least Sinned: oh yeah that felt good

Meme: least sinned is about to be most sinned

Smol Sinner: ah shit here we go again

Smol Sinner: remember the good old times when we thought Red was the least sinned

#2 Sinned: old times old times

The Sinner: really old

Meme: probably so old humans didn’t exist back then

Least Sinned: definitely before you guys met us because there is no point in my life that happened

#3 Sinner: yeah probably

Smol Sinner: yes you are correct

_ Meme has named the chat “Sinners that know memes” _

_  
_ The Sinner: perfect description

Meme: its free real estate

Meme: i might just hit you guys with random memes now and then so be fucking prepared

Smol Sinner: oh I am

Smol Sinner: me too

Smol Sinner: yo cola whats the sick beats about

Smol Sinner: is it by any chance butter

Meme: i think i know where this is going

#3 Sinner: um no?

Smol Sinner: I can’t believe it’s not butter!

Meme: I can’t believe it’s not butter!

  
#2 Sinner: so now we’re shitposting

Least Sinned: I suppose?

The Sinner: save us jesus

#2 Sinner: you have sinned

#2 Sinner: jesus will not forgive you

The Sinner: you also sinned

Meme: we’re all sinners now

#3 Sinner: what about you

Meme: memeing is not a sin

Meme: but for the sake of this chat I will do it

_ Meme has changed their alias to The Holy Meme Bible _

The Sinner: not the bible!!!!

The Holy Meme Bible: you all shall be purified

Smol Sinner: the holy water 

Smol Sinner: that is

#3 Sinner: I drink holy water 

#3 Sinner: I am jesus

Least Sinned: he is actually attempting to go find himself some holy water smh

The Holy Meme Bible: tbh I think this is too long

_ The Holy Meme Bible has changed their name to THMB for the sake of the author’s hands having to type this name over and over again and no she will not copy and paste it because reasons _

THMB: okay we good

Least Sinned: that looks like thumb

#3 Sinned: kinda but without the u

THMB: so has these two tried to kill each other since the beginning of time

Smol Sinner: they have before time even started

THMB: oh shit

The Sinner: true 

The Sinner: but I will kill him before he kills me

#2 Sinner: oh really

The Sinner: I almost did today

The Sinner: so any chance of you killing me first will be fucked

THMB: jfc do you guys have Insulting Matches TM  like certain people I know

Least Sinned: between whom, may I ask?

Smol Sinner: highlight of the day: Hamburger using polite language and punctuation

Least Sinned: ughhhh whatever

THMB: Pastel de Nata and Vodka

THMB: had one yesterday

_ THMB has sent 5 images _

Smol Sinner: oh wow

#3 Sinner: well you guys can do that

The Sinner: when do you give the orders

#3 Sinner: I am the admin

The Sinner: oh yeah

#3 Sinner: christ

Smol Sinner: what did vod mean when she said no offence???

THMB: wellll you see

#3 Sinner: this is about to get personal isnt it

THMB: yep

THMB: I was created bc failed experiment in the labs

THMB: tbh I wouldn’t even exist if it didn’t fail

The Sinner: see, that is a perfect past for you, Steak

#2 Sinner: Same to you

THMB: @Smol Sinner you may now say it

Smol Sinner: well let us not do depressing things

Smol Sinner: this gc is for bitching and being dumbasses and memes and vines

Smol Sinner: no time for personal shit

Least Sinned: yes 

#3 Sinner: very

#2 Sinner: yeah kinda

The Sinner: very motivational little speech

Smol Sinner: no lie, Ive been practicing it

The Sinner: wait, it was pre-written?

Smol Sinner: hell yeah

THMB: I saw her practicing it

#2 Sinned: well……...alright

Least Sinned: we don’t question the people who sin

THMB: u right u right

#3 Sinned: no you purify the sins with memes

THMB: yh

THMB: actually ive sinned a lot in my life

_ THMB has changed their name to Memed Sinner _

Memed Sinner: I am a sinner that memes 

Smol Sinner: wow am I so surprised

The Sinner: what’s with the obsession with memes anyways

Memed Sinner: gasp

Memed Sinner: I am offended

The Sinner: then be hurt

Memed Sinner: never

Memed Sinner: you be hurt

The Sinner: my insides hurt everyday

#2 Sinner: true dat

Memed Sinner: that is kind of depressing

#2 Sinner: he deserves no pity

The Sinner: I don’t need any

Smol Sinner: WHAT DID I SAY IN MY SPEECH THAT I TOTALLY SPENT  MORE THAN ONE MINUTE WORKING ON????

  
#2 Sinner: right right

Memed Sinner: yo @#3 Sinner do you still have some of those sick beats

#3 Sinner: hell yeah

Memed Sinner: I’m coming over

Least Sinned: no straight shit in my house of gays, and you two are good

Memed Sinner: yes sir

#3 Sinner: yes sir

The Sinner: Oh yes, the most Ancient and Noble House of Gays, an honor.

The SInner: Protect at all costs, do not lay the dirt of the straights under its roof.

#2 Sinner: Yall are making me cringe

Smol Sinner: Sameeeeeee

#3 Sinner: tbh the way Red addressed was great

The Sinner: I am an artist

Memed Sinner: my god agreed

Least Sinned: I brought up the house of gays first

#3 Sinner: Yes credits to you for that

#2 Sinner: as much as I hate to admit it Red you truly are an artist

Smol Sinner: So we in the future now

Memed Sinner: apparently so

The Sinner: move im gay

Memed Sinner: wow

#3 Sinner: yes sir we will move out of the way because you are fucking gay

Least Sinned: First swear has been taken

#3 Sinner: yes

Memed Sinner: why are we talking about the house of gays also the beats are sick

#3 Sinner: ikr

#2 Sinner: WHY THE HELL NOT

  
Smol Sinner: YEAH

The Sinner: oh yes the house of gayssssssss

#3 Sinner: ur mom gae

#2 Sinner: move im gay

The Sinner: thats my line

#2 Sinner: mine now bitch

The Sinner: move im gay  TM

#2 Sinner: I can not fucking believe you right now

The Sinner: better believe it cunt

Smol Sinner: jfc you people and your gay asses

Smol Sinner: I, on the other hand, had chosen the relation status known as the “Single forever” role

Memed Sinner: that is some smart shit

#3 Sinner: oh the mechanism

Least Sinned: oh the plays

Memed Sinner: I am in love with the species known as the vines

#3 Sinner: same

Least Sinned: same

#2 Sinner: jfc

The Sinner: get help

_ Memed Sinner has changed their name to move im gay _

move im gay: suits the current situation will change back later

The Sinner: whats with everyone taking the line

move im gay: why not

#2 Sinner: yea why not is the question

The Sinner: the answer is go fuck yourself

#2 Sinner: no

Smol Sinner: why not

Smol Sinner: :)   
#2 Sinner: i had not been this scared my entire life over a single keyboard emoji   
Smol Sinner: ;) ;)

#2 Sinner: my god

The Sinner: here we go again

move im gay: you guys have a lot of repeated situations

#3 Sinner: very often

Least Sinned: yes

Least Sinned: tbh I gave up trying to speak here after a while

Least Sinned: so I just appear whenever I want

Smol Sinner: so thats why you are like the least audible part of this whole thing

Smol Sinner: jfc i thought you died

Least Sinned: no

move im gay: well im going to sort out the intese gay thoughts of my client

move im gay: bye

The Sinner: oh shit

#2 Sinner: who tf has intense gay thoughts

Smol Sinner: you tell me

#3 Sinner: ginge we all know who you want to have gay thoughts about each other

Least Sinned: yes

The Sinner: well I dont

The Sinner: tell me in honor of the house of gays

#2 Sinner: same here

Smol Sinner: hmmmmmmmm no

The Sinner: fuck you

#2 Sinner: a way to betray the religion

#3 Sinner: good move ginge

The Sinner: since when do you call her that

Smol Sinner: Apparently my name is too long

#3 Sinner: kinda???

Smol Sinner: shush you your name is short as fuck

#3 Sinner: not as short as B-52’s

#3 Sinner: technically his name is one letter with two numbers and a -

Least Sinned: hm yeah

Least Sinned: that is short

#3 Sinner: so guys

#2 Sinner: yeah

#3 Sinner: sike you are now all officially asses now

#3 Sinner: I still haven’t slept since we made the bet

#3 Sinner: get fucked

The Sinner: DUDE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK   
Least Sinned: I can not believe you right now

Smol Sinner: I was SURE that I won!!!!

Least Sinned: WOW BITCH YOU T H O U G H T   
#3 Sinner: and now I will get my well deserved sleep

#3 Sinner: bye asses

move im gay: bye

move im gay: the gay panic has hit me

The SInner: oh yeah how was it

move im gay: oml i did not know how people manage to get this gay in life

The Sinner: was it that bad

move im gay: yes

move im gay: no shit

#2 Sinner: who was it

move im gay: well just gonna let you know that this person lives with all of us and is not in this group chat

move im gay: start digging

Smol Sinner: well we are fucked

Least Sinned: there’s too many people

#2 Sinner: why do you always exist at the most random times

Least Sinned: Sorry???????

The Sinner: yes I think we get that there is many people

The Sinner: and none of you in here better be the gay asses in which I will not tolerate you people to be

#2 Sinner: wow rude

The Sinner: suffer

move im gay: im not even gonna ask

Smol Sinner: dont

Smol Sinner: I gave up after like 

Smol Sinner: a year

move im gay: tbh shoulda been a month

Smol Sinner: well were here now

move im gay: major oofs

The Sinner: woooooow

#2 Sinner: how about no

Smol Sinner: how about YES

  
The Sinner: no

move im gay: how about maybe

#2 Sinner: that is

The Sinner: smart

Smol Sinner: when did you two finish each others sentences

#2 Sinner: because that response is brilliant

The Sinner: wow you spelled those words right

Least Sinned: He has autocorrect on

#2 Sinner: b e t r a y e d

move im gay: oh wow that passively hurt me

#2 Sinner: despite the fact that it was not about you

move im gay: correct 

Least Sinned: Gotta do what I gotta do

#2 Sinner: which is to betray me?

Least Sinned: yes

move im gay: why the fuck is everyone showing no mercy these days

move im gay: first its Brownie, now it’s you??

The Sinner: Did I hear that right

Smol Sinner: wait what

_ move im gay has sent 1 picture _

Smol Sinner: never thought I would say I feel sorry for Napoleon and B-52

The Sinner: that must hurt

move im gay: He started to show no mercy a few months ago, according to vodka

move im gay: everyones been a bit scared of him ever since

#2 Sinner: may I say that his username suits him so well I can not believe it

move im gay: ikr

move im gay: i think I gave him that user???

Smol Sinner: you think

move im gay: uhhhhh yeah

move im gay: too lazy to scroll up as all of us type fast as fuck

Smol Sinner: oh nice

#3 Sinner: Unbelievable.

Least Sinned: Look, I’m sorry

#3 Sinner: Un fucking believable

The Sinner: oh shit

#3 Sinner: he woke me up while knowing I haven’t slept the past week and a half

  
Least Sinned: If you survived this long, then you should still be fine!

  
move im gay: let the bloke sleep

#3 Sinner: thank you

#2 Sinner: tbh I gave up after the first 3 smt days I cant believe you rn cola

#3 Sinner: Don’t fuck with me I have the power of god and anime on my side

Smol Sinner: jfc

The Sinner: w h y

move im gay: yo I just saw you why do you look like you have depression

The Sinner: its called cringing

move im gay: wow how cringe

#2 Sinner: on the scale of cringe to cringe, how would you rate your cringeness?

The Sinner: I would like to rate it a cringe, and please add a side of cringe to the cringe

#2 Sinner: thank you for taking the cringe survey

The Sinner: your welcome

move im gay: ok so

move im gay: now what

#3 Sinner: WE GO TO SLEEP

  
#3 Sinner: AT LEAST I AM

#3 Sinner: ANY OF YOU THAT WAKE ME UP NOT UNTIL SUNDAY 3PM IS DEAD

#2 Sinner: jfc today’s friday

Least Sinned: I think he is already dead

Smol Sinner: how the dead kills the alive I have no fucking clue

Smol Sinner: but

Smol SInner: one less person to deal with

#2 Sinner: yeah yeah

move im gay: you know some times I wonder how you people end up together

Smol Sinner: we just did

The Sinner: yes

The Sinner: because we were lonely bitches with no friends and got together

The Sinner: but @#2 Sinner is an arse

The Sinner: end of discussion

#2 Sinner: way to single me out

The Sinner: feel honored

#2 Sinner: no u

Smol Sinner: jfc

move im gay: well alright

move im gay: my way is more interesting

Least Sinned: what is it

move im gay: ok so

move im gay: i was like going through the woods

move im gay: then I bumped into someone who happened to be the mother

move im gay: so then we went back 

move im gay: and we just got together because hell what else am I supposed to do

Smol Sinner: clapping.gif

move im gay: it was fun ngl

move im gay: they had an Insulting Match  TM  the first day I was there

move im gay: and I joined

move im gay: fucking amazing

Smol Sinner: sounds gooood

Smol Sinner: get me in one someday

move im gay: yes ma’am

move im gay: is now soon enough for you

Smol Sinner: omw

The Sinner: okay then

#2 Sinner: is @#3 Sinner dead

Least Sinned: yes

Least Sinned: very dead

Least Sinned: it is so bad that I am actually blasting stuff at top volume and he is still dead

#2 Sinner: christ

The Sinner: he needs medical help

#2 Sinner: someone get him help

Least Sinned: sure

Least Sinned: what category

#2 Sinner: my god

#2 Sinner: get him to the ER

Least Sinned: yes sir

The Sinner: good we are done

#2 Sinner: wait-

_ The Sinner has forced the author to go to bed _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the superscript wont wooooooork
> 
> soooooooooooooooooo this "chapter" is a mirror image of a private AU fanfiction which I probably will not reveal to public ever
> 
> which explains:
> 
> Red and his sins of killing humans
> 
> Steak and Red Wine wanted each other really dead all the time
> 
> Everyone's obsession with vines and memes(normally dead ones)
> 
> Hamburger and Cola's very little amount of swearing  
> this certain person and their g a y t h o u g h t s
> 
>  (Too lazy to read back so anything thats major ooc then its probably from that)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> edit: i just realized i mf put one of my friends name in on accident im sorry that you got revealed its fixed now


	9. bee movie script

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this took up 40 pages on my doc  
> god damn you bee movie script  
> fun fact: the bee movie script is 9000 something words long, which makes it look like I did work while I did not  
> if one wishes to be lazy in a chatfic, just copy and paste the bee movie script  
> butlikebeemovieisamazinglol

I have mind problems: yo did any of you forget I was here

Sober: who this

I have mind problems: its me dumbass

Smol Vacuum: uh

Sober: OH

Sober: we forgot sorry

I have mind problems: rude

Mother: Who exactly is this, so we can prevent you from being excluded in the future?

I have mind problems: tsksksk grammar

I have mind problems: its me boston

I have mind problems: vodka added me here 

_Sober has changed I have mind problems’ name to I have problems_

I have problems: woooooow

Meme: that is

Meme: wait do you actually have problems

Sober: many problems

I have problems: yep

I have problems: a lot of problems

Sober: where were you last time

I have problems: slut and weed fought for a long time

I have problems: me and duck bitch were watching the fight

Sober: why the fuck did you not tell me there was a fight

Sober: egjlhwljherp

I have problems: WELL sOrRrRrRrRrRy

Meme: that is fake and you know it

Pissed™: jfc can you guys keep it down

I have problems: no never

Pissed™: why

I have problems: read my username

Pissed™: suits you well

I have problem: thank you

 _Pissed™_ _has muted notifications for the user: Pissed™_

Smol Vacuum: wow rude

Sober: @Sans Whisperer why did you make him admin

Sans Whisperer: uhhhhh I don’t really know?

Sober: my god

Sober: there must be a reason

Sans Whisperer: Nope! Sorry

Sober: wow

Sober i cant with you guys sometimes

I have problems: you say the same thing to us but not with the sometimes

I have problems: she loves all of you

Meme: that is depressing for you people

Sober: nah they drive people insane

I have problems: we all drive each other insane

Meme: let me in on this 

I have problems: oh okay

 

\-----

 

_drunk aunt has added Meme to the chat_

Duck bitch: welcome

Kink shaming: see she asked, we delivered

drunk aunt: yea

Meme: yes

Serious cunt: does she need any help

Meme: my whole existence needs help

Serious cunt: you’re in

Meme: nice

Weed: tbh your username as a whole gives bonus points

drunk aunt: yeah yeah

Kink shaming: okay we are going back to annoying others

Weed: welcome @Meme

 

\-----

 

Meme: amazing

Sober: yeah at the start yeah

I have problems: mhmmm

Sans Whisperer: we were having a discussion about Napoleon’s plans to obtain food

Sans Whisperer: I kicked Pastel and Brownie out for now but they are back in after a while

Smol Vacuum: yes

I have problems: listen carefully

I have problems: first you pay a little fund for people of the government, then they will use the bribe to distribute your message around the world, then we pay media management like news people etc and make them support the already paid people of the government. Then, we use peer pressure of the two previous forces to bribe the president of the US, and using that we can do the same to every other country in the world. Soon the power will grow and everything will be in our control without anyone else knowing it because no one ever bothers to find the source

Sober: thats our backup plan for taking over the world

Sober: what have you done

I have problems: oops wrong plan

_I have problems has deleted a message_

I have problems: you saw nothing

Smol Vacuum: …

Sans Whisperer: ...

Meme: ...

Meme: aNyWaYs

Meme: just yeet yourself

Meme: the end

Sans Whisperer: Brilliant.

Smol Vacuum: I’ll try that

 _Sans Whisperer has added Pissed™_ _and Mother to the chat_

Mother: What was that for?

Sans Whisperer: top secret plans

Sans Whisperer: nothing too big

Mother: Really.

Sans Whisperer: ya

Mother: Should I believe him?

I have problems: yes totally

Smol Vacuum: of course 

Sober: I guess

Mother: You two don’t sound so sure.

Sober: wow judging us now

Sober: where has your old merciful self gone to

Mother: Probably hell, because I am also the merciless now.

I have problems: correction

I have problems: you’re trying

Mother: Yes.

_Sober has changed Mother’s name to SavageIT_

SavageIT: What does this mean?

Sober: Savage in training

Sober: too lazy to type it as its full version

SavageIT: Oh.

SavageIT: I see.

I have problems: another thing

I have problems: why the fuck do you always type with grammar and spelling?

SavageIT: I felt like I needed to.

Sober: what a convincing reason

Smol Vacuum: Where’s @Meme ?

Sober: spamming our group chat

I have problems: i muted that so I have no clue the heck is going on

Sober: wow rude

I have problems: @Pissed™ also the muted us

Pissed™: what do you want

I have problems: uhhhhhhhh nothing

Pissed™: Then refrain from tagging my name

Sober: he’s like that to everyone all the time

I have problems: i feel just slightly better?

Smol Vacuum: keyword slightly

I have problems: stfu

Sans Whisperer: ughhhhhhh me no liek hw

Sans Whisperer: too much work

I have problems: I never thought you can be lazy

Sans Whisperer: the last time i had a proper sleep was about 23 years or something years ago?

SavageIT: You said, proper.

SavageIT: What does that mean?

Sans Whisperer: that I didn’t have to force myself???

Smol Vacuum: you heard it here

Smol Vacuum: take sleep for granted 

Sober: yea yea

I have problems: says the one that skipped tuesday sleeping

Sober: gasp

Sober: i did not

I have problems: what day is it today

Sober: thursday

I have problems: its friday

Sober: uhhhhhhh I can explain

I have problems: called out

Sober: fuck you

I have problems: i have too many problems to be fucked

Sober: true dat

Smol Vacuum: at this point we all are just watching to see what kind of dumb stuff you guys are gonna bring up

Sober: fair

I have problems: fight with duck bitch

I have problems: come spectate

Sober: omw

Sans Whisperer: ooh I want to watch a fight

Sober: no bitty its not for you

Sans Whisperer: why

Sober: @SavageIT hold him off

SavageIT: If you want, sure.

Sober: thank you

Sober: anyways

Sober: duck bitch is doing surprisingly well

Smol Vacuum: really

Sober: yeah

Sans Whisperer: ughhhhhh I want to seeeeeeeeeeee

SavageIT: What did I just tell you?

Sans Whisperer: sooooooory

Sans Whisperer: now come here

SavageIT: Why?

Sans Whisperer: so I can hug you

SavageIT: Fine.

Meme: gay

Smol Vacuum: gay

Sober: gay

Sober: oh that hurt

Smol Vacuum: what happened

Sober: lmao duck won

Smol Vacuum: do you guys really call each other that

Sober: all the time

Meme: yeah

Meme: this is culture

Sober: alright it is done

Sober: @I have problems what do you have to say for yourself

I have problems: I hate life

Sans Whisperer: don’t we all

I have problems: true dat

 _Pissed™_ _has unmuted the chat_

Pissed™: I still hate you all

I have problems: nice

Meme: so I have a few things to address

Smol Vacuum: go ahead

Meme: @SavageIT

SavageIT: Yeah?

Meme: Do you know what a meme is

SavageIT: Hm.

SavageIT: I have a vague idea.

Meme: not enough

Meme: someone get the kid some knowLEDGE

Smol Vacuum: on it

SavageIT: Alright.

Meme: second

Meme: someone call 911

Meme: @Sans Whisperer just crashed through the window in the common room and he is not getting up

Sober: well shit

Pissed™: I have the hotline dialed up

Meme: thank you

I have problems: y'all need jesus

_I have problems has changed the chat name to “Mental Hospital”_

Meme: perfection

  


**_Chat: “Sinners of the meme”         ((they changed it))_ **

Smol Sinner: did anyone else hear the crash

The Sinner: it was not us

#2 Sinner: I can confirm

move im gay: bifty crashed though the window and nata is calling medication right now

Smol Sinner: oh shit

Smol Sinner: how is he still alive

move im gay: idek

#3 Sinner: is he alive in the first place

move im gay: shhshshshshshsSHSHHSHSHSHSHSHSHS

#3 Sinner: oh god

#3 Sinner: fine

The Sinner: I must say that to start off, none of us is alive on the inside

#2 Sinner: true dat

Smol Sinner: question

Smol Sinner: is anyone in this chat sane

The Sinner: not me

#2 Sinner: never been sane

#3 Sinner: i dont think so

move im gay: nope

#3 Sinner: I think @Least Sinned is a little bit?

The Sinner: oh that kid is definitely sane

#2 Sinner: what is he doing

Smol Sinner: idk

Least Sinned: Listening to stuff while staring into the wall thinking about things

Least Sinned: now leave me

_Least Sinned has muted notifications for the user: Least Sinned_

The Sinner: i dont know what to think about this kid

#2 Sinner: if I was him I would be setting shit on fire right now

#3 Sinner: that aint sane

#2 Sinner: hell no it aint

The Sinner: common sense my people

Smol Sinner: pEasEnTs

The Sinner: no u

Smol Sinner: why

The Sinner: I can

Smol Sinner: you can’t

Smol Sinner: @#2 Sinner tell him

#2 Sinner: I claimed the rights last week

The Sinner: move im gay

move im gay: yeet

_move im gay has muted notifications for the user: move im gay_

#3 Sinner: i dont want to know what they are doing

Smol Sinner: same

#2 Sinner: well fuck you so am I

Smol Sinner: exposed

The Sinner: .

The Sinner: well

The Sinner: no u™

#2 Sinner: no u™™

The Sinner: that aint valid chief

#2 Sinner: OH REALLY

#3 Sinner: hate to say it but he’s right

#2 Sinner: betrayal

Smol Sinner: rekt

#2 Sinner: just because you people have higher privileges does not mean you can be this way, yeah i came last in the bet but still

The Sinner: bold of you to assume I had privileges at the first place

Smol Sinner: bold of you to assume I know the way

#3 Sinner: bold of you to assume I am a person

#2 Sinner: …

_#2 Sinner has left the chat_

_The Sinner has added #2 Sinner to the chat_

#2 Sinner: fuck you

The Sinner: reverse uno card

_Smol Sinner has locked #2 Sinner to the chat_

Smol Sinner: ha

Smol Sinner: ha

Smol Sinner: ha

_#3 Sinner has removed all privileges over the chat for the user: #2 Sinner_

#3 Sinner: ha

Smol Sinner: ha

The Sinner: ha

#2 Sinner: why

 

**_Chat: “aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”_ **

((Galaxy got kicked oof))

Kink Shaming: bold of you to assume i am weak

Weed: tis not an assumption

Serious cunt: tis the trooooth

duck bitch: Yeah yeah you kinda are

drunk aunt: the no u activate

Kink Shaming: wow

Kink Shaming: why

Serious cunt: why not

_drunk aunt has changed Serious cunt’s name to 10/10 would not recommend_

10/10 would not recommend: what did I do

drunk aunt: nothing i like to fuck with people sometimes

Kink Shaming: kinky

drunk aunt: AHEM YOUR USERNAME

Kink Shaming: tru dat

drunk aunt: so

drunk aunt: question

Weed: what is it

drunk aunt: why

Weed: wha

duck bitch: no reasons

Weed: tf did you do this time

Kink Shaming: tHiS tImE

10/10 would not recommend: what did you do

10/10 would not recommend: just

drunk aunt: he tripped over 3 chairs in a row after he FUCKINGSAW THE THIRD ONE WHICH IS LIKE, TWO FEET FROM WHERE HE WAS STANDING AFTER HE TRIPPED OVER THE SECOND ONE

duck bitch: why must you call out everyone like that

drunk aunt: because I AM the drunk aunt

duck bitch: you have a point

Kink Shaming: praise the queen

10/10 would not recommend: daily reminder to drink your respect waman juice

Kink Shaming: sure

duck bitch: alright thank you

10/10 would not recommend: anything for the respect waman club

Weed: yeeeeeeeeeee

drunk aunt: speaking of which

drunk aunt: lemme become true to my name

Kink Shaming: save her

Weed: heh

Weed: don’t break anything and we’re good

drunk aunt: no promises

10/10 would not recommend: welp

Kink Shaming: our insurance is gonna burn big time

duck bitch: it’s your turn to pay

Kink Shaming: shit

Kink Shaming: I swear to god vodka if you break anything

10/10 would not recommend: i think i heard something break

Kink Shaming: …

10/10 would not recommend: on second thought maybe not

Kink Shaming: i sqear to god

duck bitch: sqear

10/10 would not recommend: sqear

Weed: sqear

drunk aunt: sqear

Kink Shaming: COME ON

10/10 would not recommend: go off

Kink Shaming: you’re annoying

10/10 would not recommend: honey you know you don’t hate me

Kink Shaming: why is the question

duck bitch: the answer is just give up on life

Weed: we did that some years ago

Kink Shaming: smart

duck bitch: join us

Weed: join us

10/10 would not recommend: the vibes

Kink Shaming: where’s the contract

Kink Shaming: hmu

duck bitch: weed you take care of this

Weed: yes sir

10/10 would not recommend: im going to check on drunk aunt because i know lobster is broke and probably gonna borrow from me

Kink Shaming: you bet I would

Weed: we have currently three people who had given up on life

duck bitch: nice

drunk aunt: so avout the nit breakign thinga

drunk aunt: i uh

Weed: what did you do

10/10 would not recommend: she karate chopped a table

10/10 would not recommend: I was too late ring up the bill for the funeral

duck bitch: rip

Weed: f in the chat

Kink Shaming: f

10/10 would not recommend: f

duck bitch: f

Weed: f

Kink Shaming: this is not coming out of my wallet

duck bitch: I’ll do it

Weed: furniture funerals

Weed: since 1986

duck bitch: I know that’s the first year that came on your mind

duck bitch: but I guess I’ll take it

Kink Shaming: be grateful of what you have

10/10 would not recommend: bold of you to assume that I had anything from the start

Kink Shaming: Spice-

10/10 would not recommend: lololololol

Weed: don’t worry you already gave up on life

Kink Shaming: u right u right

drunk aunt: yeah im good now

Kink Shaming: what are the casualties

drunk aunt: one table, two doors, and red wine breaking down mentally and physically because he can’t take it

drunk aunt: then again when he gets high he’s the same

Kink Shaming: petition for all of us to room with ourselves

 

**Chat Name: “this house is a fucking mess”**

 

**4:43 PM**

That’s the mf tea: I suppose @Sober is drunk again

Sober: cite your evidence

He need some milk: I hear @The Sinner screaming at the top of his lungs

Sober: that mayhaps be me

Sober: got me there

Sober: bye im getting 3 more bottles

The Sinner: fuck youifsdahklajhjklwehrgfgssarhjyuke

#2 Sinner: he died

Smol Sinner: lets go get him

#3 Sinner: yes ma’am

10/10 would not recommend: get help

Kink Shaming: we need help the most tbh

10/10 would not recommend: u right u right

_Cure of insomnia has joined the chat_

Smol Vacuum: _Whomst_

Cure of insomnia: your mom

Meme: no u

That’s the mf tea: greetings coffee

Cure of insomnia: greetings

_Cure of insomnia has added End me to the chat_

Kink Shaming: Whomst is the one with such name

10/10 would not recommend: gifted

Cure of insomnia: its chocolate

He need some milk: understandable have a nice day

End me: exactly as my name goes

Cure of insomnia: get help

End me: no

_End me has added SavageIT to the chat_

_End me has changed SavageIT’s name to Uneducated pure child_

End me: suffer with me my baby brother

Uneducated pure child: We’re related?

Uneducated pure child: When?

Uneducated pure child: And I’m 17??

 _((AN: I aged some people down a little bit))_

He need some milk: yeah i can see why you gave him that name

End me: you see now

Smol Vacuum: we’re working on it

Meme: very very slow progress

Smol Vacuum: speaking of which

_Smol Vacuum has added Sans Whisperer to the chat_

Smol Vacuum: welcome to hell

Sans Whisperer: my existence is hell

Sans Whisperer: i mean what

Meme: get him help

That’s the mf tea: sure

That’s the mf tea: babe help me

He need some milk: k

Smol Vacuum: that's gay

Meme: you’re gay

Smol Vacuum: jasldfkhjklahfj don’t expose me

Meme: dream on

Meme: speaking of which

 _Meme has added Pissed™_ _to the chat_

Pissed™: no

 _Pissed™_ _has left_

Meme: you cant escape this easily

 _Meme has added Pissed™_ _to the chat_

 _Meme has locked Pissed™_ _to the chat_

Pissed™: why do I even try

Meme: reverse uno card

Smol Vacuum: no suicidal thoughts

Pissed™: you cant tell me what to do

End me: hold up what

Smol Sinner: we calmed down the insane

Smol Sinner: tf happened

Pissed™: i want to die

#2 Sinner: same

The Sinner: any time 

#2 Sinner: wow look at the time i have to go play on my xbox

The Sinner: 

The Sinner: fair enough

#3 Sinner: sometimes i just give up

Sans Whisperer: be prepared everyone

Sans Whisperer: heh

Sans Whisperer: haha

Sans Whisperer: hahaha

Smol Sinner: im scared

Sans Whisperer: oh

Sans Whisperer: be very scared

Sans Whisperer: very scared indeed

Meme: im so

Meme: i cant describe the amount of fear im feeling right now

Sans Whisperer: gimme a second

Uneducated pure child: B-52, what are you planning?

Sans Whisperer: nothing :)

Sans Whisperer: be prepared!

Meme: SOMEONE STOP HIM

End me: WHERE

End me: i found him 

End me: jesus HE'S

End me: NO-

Sans Whisperer: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

Cure of insomnia: too late

Sober: that took up a lot of disk space for the author

Kink Shaming: stop breaking the fourth wall

10/10 would not recommend: B-52 i swear to god 

Smol Vacuum: T-The bee movie script?????

Sans Whisperer: :)

Uneducated pure child: You’re grounded.

Sans Whisperer: :(((((((((((((((((((((((((

Sober: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

That’s the mf tea: _wheeze_

Uneducated pure child: I’m sorry, but it had to be done

Uneducated pure child: But did you really write out a full movie script?

End me: _Step into my office_

Uneducated pure child: You had an office?

Uneducated pure child: Where exactly is it?

End me:

End me: my username explains what im feeling right now

He need some milk: read my user

End me: wow

End me: just go to the front

Uneducated pure child: So you don’t have an office?

Uneducated pure child: I’m confused.

End me: just come so you don’t have to be

Uneducated pure child: Fair enough.

Uneducated pure child: Coming.

Kink Shaming: oops i forgot

10/10 would not recommend: what

_Kink Shaming has added Weed and Duck bitch to the chat_

_Kink Shaming has locked Weed and Duck bitch to the chat_

10/10 would not recommend: oh

Kink Shaming: suffer with me

Duck bitch: why

Weed: why

Weed: fuck you

Duck bitch: no

Duck bitch: i scrolled up and is that the bee movie script i see

10/10 would not recommend: Welcome to the wholesome but not really mental hospital


	10. my homemade conspiracy theories are shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there gonna be a lot of author notes just so it don look that ooc i guess  
> also there be some weird theories that make no sense  
> its 2 am save me  
> also this was a long one because im bored at work

**this house is a fucking mess**

 

**2:34 AM**

Cure of insomnia: are ostriches the secret love child of a chicken and a giraffe

End me: its 2 am why the fuck are you up

Cure of insomnia: no reasons

End me: i give up 

_End me had muted notifications for everyone_

_Sans Whisperer has unmuted notifications for the users: Sans Whisperer and Cure of insomnia_

Sans Whisperer: im still grounded

Sans Whisperer: :’)

Cure of insomnia: oof

Cure of insomnia: are we the only two up??

_Pissed™ has unmuted notifications for the user: Pissed™_

Pissed™: sup

Pissed™: I have work

Sans Whisperer: of?

Pissed™: personal things

Sans Whisperer: can’t it wait or something?

Pissed™: no

Pissed™: im that kind of persom

Sans Whisperer: persom

Cure of insomnia: persom

Pissed™: im tired

Pissed™: i have 46 more pages 

Cure insomnia: okay you are not sleeping

Pissed™: yeah no

_Pissed™ has muted notifications for the user: Pissed™_

Sans Whisperer: welp

Cure of insomnia: so what exactly are you grounded from

Sans Whisperer: I can’t hug him :(

Cure of insomnia: and I suppose you’re gonna die

Sans Whisperer: yeah

Cure of insomnia: but you can just hug others????

Sans Whisperer: He’s soft tho

Sans Whisperer: like a pillow :3

Cure of insomnia: cant believe the prime you being soft hour is 2 am

Sans Whisperer: heh yeah

 

Sans Whisperer: we having a discussion at 2:46 AM

Sans Whisperer: kinda boring since its only us

Cure of insomnia: the others need to develop some insomnia

Pissed™: I am getting it sooner or later

Cure of insomnia: true dat

Sans Whisperer: may I question your name?

Cure of insomnia: so i cant sleep

Cure of insomnia: every morning I have like a ton of my namesake

Cure of insomnia: helps 300%

Sans Whisperer: I see

_Pissed™ has unmuted notifications for the user: Pissed™_

Pissed™: taking a break

Pissed™: otherwise im dead

Pissed™: anyways what now

Cure of insomnia: not much we can do at 3 am

Sans Whisperer: its so weird just us three talking

Pissed™: normally the people are just blowing up

Sans Whisperer: im gonna do something else and will be back instantly when anyone else speaks

Pissed™: same

Cure of insomnia: same

 

**4:17 AM**

_Duck bitch has unmuted notifications for the users: Duck bitch and Weed_

Duck bitch: @Weed get up 

Sans Whisperer: _nyoom_

Sans Whisperer: @Weed

Pissed™: @Weed

Cure of insomnia: @Weed

Weed: Alright im up

Duck bitch: almost time

Sans Whisperer: for?

Weed: 4:20 AM

Duck bitch: our minute

Cure of insomnia: why it gotta be in the morning

Weed: why not

Duck bitch: its more normal for us to get high in the morning

Cure of insomnia: i see

Pissed™: reasonable

Weed: _AND THERE IT IS_ _  
_

Duck bitch: _323th_420_am_yeaboi.png_

Weed: yes we do take pictures of every 4:20 

Duck bitch: alright lets get sum of that good shit

Weed: appropriate timing

Sans Whisperer: oh no

Weed: oh yes

Pissed™: should we be concerned

Sans Whisperer: did any of you guys get any sleep in that time span

Cure of insomnia: no

Pissed™: no

Pissed™: sleep is for the weak

Cure insomnia: yes

Sans Whisperer: wow that means everyones weak

Weed: we’re like in the middle

Weed: I got 5 hours of sleep 

Duck bitch: and me

Pissed™: I got none

Pissed™: 12 more pages

Cure of insomnia: get to work

Pissed™: sHuT

Uneducated pure child: Is paperwork really necessary at this hour?

Sans Whisperer: :0

Sans Whisperer: hewwwoooo

Uneducated pure child: Hello.

Uneducated pure child: I thought that being up this early would affect some of you, but I suppose some of you are already up.

Cure of insomnia: when did you get up?

Uneducated pure child: At four.

Uneducated pure child: Also, can someone change my name?

_Sans Whisperer has changed Uneducated pure child’s name to Get help_

Get help: I don't get it.

Sans Whisperer: oof

Cure of insomnia: im not educated enough to know the answer

Cure of insomnia: someone help me

Pissed™: you’re on your own buddy

Cure of insomnia: well shit

Pissed™: this is my christian minecraft server how dares you

Cure of insomnia: no u

Pissed™: wow

 

**9:51 AM**

Get help: It is a bit late, as it is almost ten. Is everyone up?

The Sinner: I JUST got up

The Sinner: how do you people get up so early

Get help: Habit.

Sans Whisperer: we

Pissed™: don’t

Cure of insomnia: sleep

Weed: we needed the 4:20

Duck bitch: yes

Duck bitch: the dedication

The Sinner: we are such a dysfunctional family

Pissed™: cant argue with that

Sans Whisperer: nope

The Sinner: scrolled up

The Sinner: @Sans Whisperer stop being gay on main especially at 2 am

Sans Whisperer: im not

Cure of insomnia: I witnessed it

Cure of insomnia: don’t deny the truth

Sans Whisperer: im not

Cure of insomnia: sureeeee

Meme: someone come help

Meme: serious shit’s gone down

Cure of insomnia: sure

The Sinner: where

Meme: the front

The Sinner: on it

 

**Meme >>> Sans Whisperer**

Thank me later

:/

 

**10:21 AM**

Pissed™: So what happened

Smol Vacuum: none of your concern

Pissed™: oh hello and welcome

Pissed™: did he do something

Meme: maybe

Smol Vacuum: you shoved me

_Meme has deleted one message_

Smol Vacuum: wow rude

Meme: nothing happened

Smol Vacuum: no

Smol Vacuum: something definitely happened and you are the causklfghlshgfkujhseruioghfdj

The Sinner: I can’t believe he’s fucking dead

Duck bitch: f in the chat

Duck bitch: f

The Sinner: f

Pissed™: f

Sans Whisperer: f

Weed: f

Cure of insomnia: f

Get help: ...F?

Sans Whisperer: correct

Get help: Why?

Sans Whisperer: uhhh to show respect for the dead

Get help: Oh.

Get help: So I just say F when someone’s dead?

Get help: Like I just say F when I go to a funeral or something?

_((AN: I legit know someone like that and this is based off of them its frustrating sometimes))_

The Sinner: this kid needs help

Sans Whisperer: No it doesn't work like that

Get help: …I am very confused.

Cure of insomnia: I’ll take over from here

Cure of insomnia: stop everything you’re doing right now and go stare at the ceiling for ten minutes

Get help: Alright.

Sans Whisperer: and there he goes

Sans Whisperer: @Smol Vacuum are you alive

Smol Vacuum: no

Smol Vacuum: yes

Smol Vacuum: maybe

_Meme has changed Smol Vacuum’s name to You will be missed for 4 minutes_

You will be missed: shit

Duck bitch: I can’t believe he’s fucking dead _again_

The Sinner: oooooof

The Sinner: should the others not be up

The Sinner: its ten god damn it

The Sinner: @Everyone get tf up

Smol Sinner: eat shit

#2 Sinner: chill you attention whore

The Sinner: look at the time

#3 Sinner: 

#2 Sinner:

Smol Sinner:

End me: why can’t I stay dead

Pissed™: i wish

_End me had unmuted notifications for everyone_

End me: suffer with me

That’s the mf tea: ugh

That’s the mf tea: it’s saturday

That’s the mf tea: for fuck’s sake let me sleep

He need some milk: wait its saturday

He need some milk: how dare you

Pissed™: it be like that sometime

Pissed™: welcome to hell

He need some milk: i envy the heavy sleepers

That’s the mf tea: same

That’s the mf tea: wait omg

He need some milk: this is bad yall

That’s the mf tea: we forgot certain people

End me: oh no

_That’s the mf tea has added Least Sinned and Monika to the chat_

End me: thank the lord you don’t have everyone’s phone numbers

That’s the mf tea: my contacts are limited

Least Sinned: what is this

#3 Sinner: hell

#3 Sinner: enjoy your stay

_#3 Sinner has locked everyone to the chat_

Least Sinned: welp

Least Sinned: can’t believe I was forgotten

#3 Sinner: I’m sorry bro

Least Sinned: well time to do random shit

#2 Sinner: and there he goes!

Monika: I’m not Monika

Monika: how many times

He need some milk: not enough times

End me: i am stumped

Cure of insomnia: these find the difference games are getting harder

Monika: sigh

_Monika has changed their name to Anything but Monika_

_That’s the mf tea has changed Anything but Monika’s name to TheRealMonika_

TheRealMonika: honestly sometimes I just give up

That’s the mf tea: don’t

 _He need some milk has changed TheRealMonika’s name to Monika_ _  
_

End me: monika is monika

Monika: why me

_Monika has muted notifications for the user: Monika_

That's the mf tea: damn

Sans Whisperer: why are so many people not up

Pissed™: wake them

Meme: someone take the risk

Get help: Why?

Meme: its fucking 10 am

Meme: _who’s going_

Smol Vacuum: not me

That’s the mf tea: nope

Sans Whisperer: I see someone up ahead

Sans Whisperer: oh wait

Get help: What did youadsfjkhaflhwejhfjdasjkhalsdga

End me: oh shit he dead

Duck bitch: someone save those dysfunctional children

Weed: I witnessed it

Weed: false alarm we are good

That’s the mf tea: what happened

Weed: he tacked brownie to the ground with el embrace

Weed: _lookatthesekids.png_

Meme: wholesome

Meme: this is why I was happy to be adopted by this family 

Meme: speaking of which

Meme: i know who the people are still sleeping are

He need some milk: _whomst_

Meme: currently scouting this house

Meme: Vodka is still sleeping

Meme: so is lobster and spice

That’s the mf tea: someone get them

Smol Sinner: Me and the people are at bible study

Smol Sinner: no questions

Smol Sinner: So you guys get plotting

He need some milk: babe go to my stash

He need some milk: box #42

Cure of insomnia: what is this

That’s the mf tea: alright

That’s the mf tea: and at this moment is when I fell in love

He need some milk: you know what to do <3

End me: do I hear air horns

He need some milk: yes

10/10 would not recommend: WHY

10/10 would not recommend: WHY

10/10 would not recommend: WHY

10/10 would not recommend: btw good luck on the other two

Cure of insomnia: wdym

10/10 would not recommend: they pulled an all nighter

10/10 would not recommend: probably will be up at least at idk 2?

End me: why

End me: why do I live with you people

End me: why do I live

Cure of insomnia: I now see why you named yourself that

End me: how I feel 23/7

End me: that one hour is when I’m staring into the void

Cure of insomnia: you need help

End me: don’t assume

Pissed™: stop it with the air horns

Pissed™: my lord

That’s the mf tea: speak to boston and vodka on this matter

Pissed™: door’s locked

#2 Sinner: that is my fault

The Sinner: yeah me too

Pissed™: why

Pissed™: okay you know what

_Pissed™ has muted the chat for 3 hours_

 

 **2:34 PM** **  
**

Sans Whisperer: so uh

Pissed™: what is your need

Sans Whisperer: it’s over 2

Sans Whisperer: but they are still sleeping?

Sans Whisperer: how does one do that?

10/10 would not recommend: patience my child

Sans Whisperer: sure

 

**Mental Hospital**

Sans Whisperer: guys help

Pissed™: why must you address your personal needs here 

Pissed™: i didn’t ask for this

Sans Whisperer: uhhh idk

Sans Whisperer: anyways

 

Get help: What is the issue?

Sans Whisperer: actually nvm

Meme: woow

Life sucks: nyoom

Life sucks: what is happening

Meme: death

_Meme has changed their name to Memes_

Memes: for the aesthetic

Memes: anyways I found some more contacts

Pissed™: add them into the other chat

Pissed™: so they can suffer

Memes: yes sir

 

**this house is a fucking mess**

 

**2:43 PM**

_Meme has added Salt pillar and sWee(d)t to the chat_

_Meme has locked everyone to the chat_

Meme: suffer

Salt pillar: why

sWee(d)t: I knew I shouldn’t have given you our numbers

Meme: well you did

That’s the mf tea: welcome

Least Sinned: life be like that sometimes

#3 Sinner: I suppose its the bruddas

Salt pillar: jOiN uS

sWee(d)t: i will come and choke you

Salt pillar: no u

Salt pillar: begone thot

sWee(d)t: you’re high

Salt pillar: says the one with weed in their username

Weed: i have been summoned

sWee(d)t: the real weed is here

Duck bitch: they named me duck bitch

Duck bitch: weed was my idea

_Salt pillar has changed duck bitch’s name to Weed duck_

Weed duck: this sounds like some newly developed drug animal

sWee(d)t: yeah it kind of does

_Salt pillar has changed Weed’s name to Weed aunt_

10/10 would not recommend: Drunk aunt Weed aunt

Weed aunt: stfu its better than weed duck anyways

Weed duck: im right here

_Salt pillar has changed 10/10 would not recommend’s name to Hey sisters_

Hey sisters: wow

Hey sisters: Hey sisters James here

sWee(d)t: _wheeze_

Salt pillar: the first minutes of me going on the internet I already messed up people’s usernames

Hey sisters: its great

Weed duck: I searched up duckweed

Weed duck: its like some plants in swamps

Weed aunt: wHaT arE yOu dOiNg iN mE sWaMP????

Weed duck: im ur landlord

Weed duck: tis swamp is mine

Hey sisters: oh shit

Salt pillar: this chat really is hell

Hey sisters: kind of normal for us

sWee(d)t: what is the obsession with weed 

sWee(d)t: like i have nothing to do with it

Weed duck: we wake up at 4:20 am everyday

Weed aunt: the dedication

sWee(d)t: well shit

Weed aunt: we stan 

End me: I muted the chat for some people

End me: and I come back to this

Salt pillar: oh yeah

sWee(d)t: go back to work

sWee(d)t: lel

End me: fuck you

Weed aunt: @#2 Sinner @The Sinner give me the keys to your room

Weed aunt: im going to awake them

#2 Sinner: sure

#2 Sinner: jk i locked the key in

Weed aunt: excuse me what

#2 Sinner: dont ask why or how

Weed duck: @The Sinner

The Sinner: I exited through the window

The Sinner: the key is vodka’s charge

Weed duck: you guys are

Weed duck: interesting

The Sinner: so are you

Weed duck: true dat

Smol Sinner: you better resume

Smol Sinner: cola is beating all your asses

The Sinner: shit

#2 Sinner: shit

Least Sinned: this is why I isolate myself from social interaction

Weed aunt: I feel you

Weed duck: mood

 

**5:14 PM**

Kink Shaming: wait its five

Hey sisters: WELCOME BACK FROM YOUR HIBERNATION

Weed duck: slow clap

Kink Shaming: WELL I MEAN

Kink Shaming: wait I cant defend myself

Weed aunt: HA

Kink Shaming: WAIT

Kink Shaming: in my defense im not the last one up

Hey sisters: wtf @Sober

Weed aunt: @Sober

Kink Shaming: she has her phone on mute

Weed aunt: how do you know that

 

Kink Shaming: one its an option

Kink Shaming: two I also had it on mute

Kink Shaming: three if it was not on mute she sleeps like she’s dead

Weed duck: well shit

Weed duck: Let’s see how this goes

 

**7:30 PM**

Sober: uh what

Get help: What exactly have you been doing this whole day?

Sober: did the day not just start

Sober: its seven right

Get help: Seven in the afternoon?

Sober:

Sober: SHIT

Kink Shaming: did you actually mess up your alarm

Kink Shaming: AND YOU DIDNT NOTICE

Sober: Y E S

Weed aunt: HWO

Sober: hwo

Kink Shaming: hwo

Weed duck: hwo

Pissed™: hwo

Meme: hwo

End me: hwo

That’s the mf tea: hwo

He need some milk: hwo

Sans Whisperer: hwo

Weed aunt: that one spelling error rose many from the ground

Weed aunt: what is wrong with you people

That’s the mf tea: we’ve been sitting and waiting for someone to mess up

He need some milk: can confirm

Weed aunt: are you not bored

He need some milk: netflix and chill with occasional glances at our notifications

Weed aunt: this is like a family that is heavily tilted on one side

Weed duck: agreed

Sober: I guess Im gonna join the night conversations now

Sober: because this is gonna take some time to adjust

Sans Whisperer: welcome

Cure of insomnia: welcome

Pissed™: welcome

 

 **1:34 AM** **  
** _Cure of insomnia has muted notifications for Get help, Weed duck, and 11 more_

_((AN: Idk if this is exact number I never bothered to count but tis basically everyone minus the people that hangs out at night))_

Cure of insomnia: The moon is just a high tech hologram which leads to the moon landing and was faked with a film while the astronauts floated in space for a few days technology is more advanced than we know and the hologram is buried deep under the north pole

Sans Whisperer: assemble

Pissed™: hello 

Sober: owo watts this

Pissed™: every night coffee releases a random thought and that’s the cue for us to gather

Cure of insomnia: my existence as a being does not allow me to sleep

Cure of insomnia: so I gather everyday

Sober: I see

Sans Whisperer: and now we do whatever the weird allows us to do

Sans Whisperer: such as saying random thoughts that appears in the realm known as the surface of your head

Sober: face id is actually created by secret organizations that live underground and released it to the upper world so they can collect data on everyone thus leading to their ultimate plan of world domination

Pissed™: dark but it’s reasonable

Sans Whisperer: someday we gotta test if I have the energy to charge phones

Sans Whisperer: I lost my charger and I don’t wanna blow things up at this hour

Pissed™: alright its in the books

Pissed™: I’m like the official collector or something

Cure of insomnia: you are now

Cure of insomnia: anyways

Cure of insomnia: computer mouses are developed from real mice and the ones with the plug the wire is actually a tail where the bluetooth mice have biotic brains that connects to a chip

Cure of insomnia: this supports my claim earlier about the moon being a hologram because of the technology

Pissed™: clap clap

Pissed™: The real live tv shows that we see on tv is actually puppets instead of real people and they are actually high tech robots with a match of dna to the person they are representing

Pissed™: wow we are just supporting each other

Sans Whisperer: We can all just deliver one

Sans Whisperer: my turn

Sans Whisperer: GIFs online are actually not pictures but are actually videos where every time the GIF is repeated it has a digital footprint of what you visited and when so the government can keep in track what stuff the people look up with gifs

Sober: needs a little work

Sober: but thats ok

Sans Whisperer: oh 

Sans Whisperer: anyways

Sans Whisperer: someBODY once told me

Sober: the world is gonna roll me

Cure of insomnia: I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed

Pissed™: She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

Sans Whisperer: In the shape of an L on her forehead

Sober: skip

Sober: Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play

Sans Whisperer: Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid

Cure of insomnia: And all that glitters is gold

Pissed™:Only shooting stars break the mold

Sober: now I’m glad that I stayed up

Sans Whisperer: hello my name is trey I’ve got a basketball game tomorrow

Pissed™: and now some dead memes

Pissed™: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE4C8a48o1E  
](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE4C8a48o1E)

Sans Whisperer: one thing I’ve learned is to not click on nata’s links

Cure of insomnia: oh shit dead memes

Pissed™: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBLdQ1a4-JI ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBLdQ1a4-JI)

Cure of insomnia: its sunday

Pissed™: oh sorry

Sober: what

Cure of insomnia: we release the video links on monday

Sober: i see

Sans Whisperer: Whomst

Sober: wot

Sans Whisperer: I thought I heard a knock

Sober: its fucking 2 am

Sans Whisperer: that’s also my thought

Pissed™: it was not me

Cure of insomnia: not me

Sober: not me

Sans Whisperer: then who did it???

Sober: are you sure you are not hallucinating

Sans Whisperer: oh

Sans Whisperer: I knocked it myself without noticing

Sober: how does one do that

Sans Whisperer: wingspan

Sober: makes some sense but not really

Pissed™: Its 2 am what do you expect, our brains to work properly?

Cure of insomnia: he has a point

Sober: no

Sober: how did you come up with that conclusion at 2 am

Pissed™: oh shit you have a point

Pissed™: it be like that sometimes

Sober: why

Sans Whisperer: don’t question physics

Cure of insomnia: do you even know what physics is

Sans Whisperer: uh

Sans Whisperer: **Physics** is one of the most fundamental scientific disciplines, and its main goal is to understand how the universe behaves. **Physics** is one of the oldest academic disciplines and, through its inclusion of astronomy, perhaps the oldest.

Cure of insomnia: thats from wikipedia and google

Cure of insomnia: for gods sake you even have physics bolded

Cure of insomnia: which is how bad this cover is

Sans Whisperer: wow rude

Cure of insomnia: the world be like that sometimes

Sans Whisperer: you know what time it is

Sans Whisperer: I don’t have the time to make it a convincing lie

Cure of insomnia: I was gonna say its party time but nvm

Sober: I hear party

Pissed™: I hear party

Cure of insomnia: sure

Cure of insomnia: third floor 

Sans Whisperer: stay quiet

Sans Whisperer: this party will not have anyone crashing into it

Pissed™: agreed

Sober: oh ye

Sober: third floor gathering 

Sober: now

 

**3:42 AM**

Pissed™: should we continue 

Sober: you’re literally sitting right next to me

Pissed™: for the aesthetics

Sans Whisperer: this is like our gathering

Cure of insomnia: but with me

Sans Whisperer: yes 

Pissed™: and we don’t have the other half

Sober: yeah

Sober: do you think the others are going to question us having a party at 3 am

Pissed™: yes

Salt Pillar: what is life

Pissed™: oh hello 

Salt Pillar: I get up at random times

Salt Pillar: it annoys the hell out of my brother but that’s fine because we’re brothers

sWee(d)t: fuck you

Salt Pillar: did you really get up just to say that

sWee(d)t: yes

sWee(d)t: bye

Salt Pillar: well shit

Salt Pillar: I’m probably dead in the morning but that’s ok

Pissed™: nice

Sober: nice

Sans Whisperer: do you guys just do something but one second later you regret it?

Sober: my life

Salt Pillar: all the time

Pissed™: when I friended napoleon and galaxy

Cure of insomnia: work

Sans Whisperer: first @Pissed™ its too early 

Sans Whisperer: second I accidentally broke the elevator

_((AN: this is a semi-modern AU i'm writing off from so everyone lived in an apartment building, along with roommates because ya gurl is broke as hell))_

Sober: IT WAS YOU

Pissed™: well shit

Salt Pillar: not good

Salt PIllar: not good at all

Sans Whisperer: why

Salt Pillar: I live on the top

Pissed™: ooooof

Cure of insomnia: good luck going down five flights of stairs

Sober: same

Sober: we’re screwed 

Salt Pillar: lmao

Sober: lmao

Sober: 4 am is not the best time to cry

Salt Pillar: have some dignity

Sober: same to you 

Salt Pillar: i have none

Sober: that is going on your grave

Salt Pillar: if my gravestone is not carved out of salt im suing all of you

Sans Whisperer: well uh

Sans Whisperer: we’ll work on that

Sans Whisperer: gimme two months

Sans Whisperer: don’t die

Salt Pillar: no promises

Cure of insomnia: try not to

Cure of insomnia: or else we won’t have it ready

Salt Pillar: I’ll try I guess

Pissed™: is it seriously that hard for you to stay alive

Salt Pillar: yes

Pissed™: then how are you 21

Salt Pillar: you playing logic on me

Pissed™: yes

Salt Pillar: well

Salt Pillar: i dont know

Pissed™: nice

Sober: I really want to see what others think of us when they scroll up later

Pissed™: same

Salt Pillar: whomst ever is reading this when you do

Salt Pillar: sleep is for the weak

Pissed™: ha rekt

Sans Whisperer: _unoreversecard.png_

Salt Pillar: fucking betrayed

Pissed™: exactly why would you pull such a crime

Sans Whisperer: I have my reasons

Cure of insomnia: top 10 anime betrayals

 

**Sober >>> Sans Whisperer**

 

Oh so you were protecting your bf?

Yeah

I dunno if Brownie considers me as his bestest of friends I never asked

No

Other definition

What

OH

NO  
YOU CANT

DO THAT TO ME  
WE ARENT

Thats what they all say

blocked and reported

no u

if you do that we can’t exchange shrek memes

Shit

you’re on thin ice my friend

I’ll make it thicker

wow

hardy har har

you’re impossible

yet all of you tolerate me

I hate it when you’re right

That’s what you always say

But you dont

Try me

you want IT to be true

On second thought

don’t try me

that’s what I thought 

rekt 

No u

rude

 

**this house is a fucking mess**

 

**4:12 AM**

**  
** Cure of insomnia: look

Cure of insomnia: _chart.pdf_

Weed duck: wait what

Weed aunt: that makes sense

Weed aunt: kind of

Pissed™: why was this calculated

Sans Whisperer: whats going on

Weed duck: I said that the banana forms inside the peel as it grows

Sober: why

Weed aunt: it’s almost 4:20 what do you expect

Sober: okay you may have a point

Pissed™: but doesn't the peel come with the banana?

Weed duck: how

Pissed™: I dont know ask someone else

Get help: I would think that the peel comes with the banana?

Pissed™: alright we have two

Sans Whisperer: but that makes no sense

Sans Whisperer: How does the peel have shape if the banana isn’t in it?

Weed aunt: THATS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO SAY

Weed aunt: GODS SAKE

Weed duck: hold gotta take the picture

Weed duck: alright we’re good

Salt Pillar: why are we having this conversation

Sober: you tell me

Sober: I didn’t sign up for this

Salt Pillar: Neither did I

Cure of insomnia: We’re ending it here

Cure of insomnia: consulting google

Weed duck: thank the lord

 

**7:00 AM**

End me: Who

End me: the fuck

End me: is blasting

End me: sicko mode

End me: at this hour

Get help: That would be me.

Get help: Napoleon and Galaxy told me to.

Get help: They are currently engaged in a routine of dances.

End me: well shit

Cure of insomnia: AND I WAS WONDERING

Cure of insomnia: Does this incident has anything to do with vodka going down the hallway at holy fucking shit mph while screaming REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

That’s the mf tea: and that B-52 has gathered all the tables and made a shrine for the roomba at the front?

He need some milk: hes currently in front of the roomba which is laid in some flowers and whispering amen over and over again

He need some milk: I went to get a glass of water

He need some milk: and I saw pastel calling the suicide hotline while holding a knife

He need some milk: so I got what I needed for the next 3 days and yeeted out of there

That’s the mf tea: honey 3 days is a bit short

That’s the mf tea: gimme a week

He need some milk: my hands can’t fit that much

End me: correct me if I’m wrong

End me: but those six are crazy

Least Sinned: yeah kind of

Least Sinned: none of you are going through the hell that is commencing right now in front of my eyes

Least Sinned: and I am enclosed in a small room

End me: do I want to know

Least Sinned: all five of us are gathered in Gingerbread’s room

Least Sinned: cola has sicko bamba at 100 volume

End me: I dont hear it

Least Sinned: we’re at the top floor

Least Sinned: anyways

Salt Pillar: anything involving sicko bamba is not good

Least Sinned: and he’s now orange justicing on the floor

Least Sinned: Gingerbread is tposing on the ceiling

sWee(d)t: how the FUCK

Least Sinned: 7 rolls of flex tape

sWee(d)t: it gotta be flex tape aint it

Least Sinned: yes

Least Sinned: moving on

Least Sinned: Steak is default dancing on the bed

Least Sinned: and Red Wine’s doing a split on the table

Least Sinned: all of them is screaming along with the music

Least Sinned: and I am still cowering in fear at my corner

_((AN: yeah I made him really ooc here so))_

Least Sinned: _hell.png_

End me: what the shit is wrong with this house

That’s the mf tea: I dont know

That’s the mf tea: but many of us have problems

Get help: They said that it was a good thing to do?

Cure of insomnia: dont listen to liars

End me: _says the one who got scammed online an hour ago_

Cure of insomnia: how dare you expose me

Cure of insomnia: bitch

End me: you wanna go

Cure of insomnia: meet me in the pit

That’s the mf tea: sO i sEe

He need some milk: babe no

Weed duck: its too early for this

Weed aunt: its seven

Weed duck: still

Weed duck: get spice up im getting lobster

Weed duck: we gonna rob someone

Weed duck: I mean COUGH COUGH go shopping

That’s the mf tea: do I need to put 911 on speed dial

Weed aunt: nope

Weed aunt: all good here

Weed aunt: BYE

Weed duck: also if anyone rings the doorbell don’t answer

Weed duck: thank you for your contribution

sWee(d)t: you know something I wonder

Salt Pillar: yes my brother?

sWee(d)t: if our apartment complex is mental hospital in disguise

Salt Pillar: those are true facts

Salt Pillar: spoken like my older brother

sWee(d)t: yeah the smartness is in my genes

Salt Pillar: I was gonna say says the one who sat on a bench with wet paint but the genes and shit gets passed onto me so

That’s the mf tea: he did WHAT

He need some milk: _wheeze_

sWee(d)t: you’re dead

Salt Pillar: gotta blast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was shitty idk whats on my mind  
> also in this whole train I was salty


	11. Trip to Japan, the 4 bitches, DnD and General Tomfoolery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It be like that sometimes

**this house is a fucking mess**

 

**2:35 PM**

Meme: ur mom gay

Smol Vacuum: ur dad lesbian

Pissed™: ur granny tranny

Sober: ur bro a hoe

Sans Whisperer: ur sister a mister

Get help: Sometimes I wonder where you guys get these things.

The Sinner: dont we all

End me: ive been wondering since your birth

Get help: Really.

End me: im fucking 9 years older than you

Get help: Understandable, have a nice day.

Smol Vacuum: good I taught you well

End me: i was at the receiving end of that

End me: oof

Cure of insomnia: what is said is said

Meme: question

Meme: how much money does it cost for a trip to japan

 

**Meme >>> Smol Vacuum**

I’m questioning them

I like where this is going

 

**this house is a fucking mess**

 

**2:40 PM**

Cure of insomnia: I think like 2000 or something

End me: nah man like 10000 at least

Sans Whisperer: wait I thought it was like 700 or something

Smol Vacuum: PFFFT

Get help: If you were to go by plane, from our area which is New York to Japan is somewhere around 700-800. But if you were to stay there for, let’s say, a week, it would be around 100-200. We’re speaking in USD. After that, you’d have to consider some basics such as transportation and food. The average meal is about 9.42-28.26. There would be other locations, but there really is a lot, considering the place that you would be going specifically. Therefore the entire thing should be about 909.42 to 1128.26, as transportation and other needs would be considered. But that would be the bare minimum if you were to just survive. If you were to go to other places, the minimal price would go up by about 1000-10000, considering where you’re going.

Sober: a few things

Sober: one holy shit my brain

Sober: two how the fuck did you type that fast

Sober: three why was this calculated in such a short time

Sober: lastly why is this calculated in the first place

Sober: if it was me I would think its about like 14000

Get help: It's not correct, because I did some follow-up calculation. But I am a little bit tired.

Sans Whisperer: Understandable have a nice day

Sober: that's because the author is sleep deprived while also is not smart

Sans Whisperer: vodka...the wall...

Sober: fine

Pissed™: pfft

Pissed™: yall are dumbasses

Meme: please tell me you have the answer im looking for

Pissed™: perhaps

Pissed™: you see it depends on where you live the question is “how much does a trip to japan cost” but it doesn't state where the starting point is therefore I can say that if you live in japan the cost is free. as you can drive anywhere you want and nowhere specific is asked so if you need to like eat or something go home and cook at home

Pissed™: BOOM

Meme: and there you have it

Cure of insomnia: holy SHIT 

End me: mind? Blown.

Sans Whisperer: dignity? Wiped.

Smol Vacuum: brain? Dead.

Sober: hotel? Trivago.

Get help: Makes sense, actually.

Sans Whisperer: yep its approved

Pissed™: honestly brownie’s answer made a lot of sense too

Meme: we do not make sense on this server

Pissed™: right

The Sinner: the hell did I just witness

Pissed™: logic 

Salt Pillar: did you know that sweet has ligma

sWee(d)t: I do not

Salt Pillar: don’t deny it

Sans Whisperer: OH HELL NO

Sans Whisperer: I think i know whos gonna fall for this someone stop him

Get help: What’s ligma?

Pissed™: shit too late

sWee(d)t: LIGMA FUCKING BALLS

Get help: Um.

Get help: I don’t get it.

sWee(d)t: christ

sWee(d)t: actually

Sober: I dont like where this is going

Salt Pillar: scream ligma balls on the top of your lungs

Smol Vacuum: NO-

End me: too late

Smol Sinner: who the fuck just screeched ligma balls

The Sinner: read up

The Sinner: I cant im wheezing

 

**Salt Pillar >>> sWee(d)t**

 

Pull out the other elements

Oh

Updog

Bofa

Sugondese

Ligma

oh shit i think i inherited some of your brain cells

Hand em back i barely have any to share

Plus they are too worthy to become yours

No u

 

**this house is a fucking mess**

 

**3:01 PM**

Salt Pillar: So

Salt Pillar: have yall heard of the country of Sugondese

_Sans Whisperer has kicked Salt Pillar out of the chat_

Sans Whisperer: no

Sans Whisperer: do not ask where it is

Get help: It’s not on the map.

Get help: But I think it’s a race?

Get help: There’s a similar island. 

Sober: ya think

Get Help: I have yet to fact check.

_Sans Whisperer has added Salt Pillar to the chat_

_Sans Whisperer has locked everyone to the chat_

Sans Whisperer: dont

Salt Pillar: yes mom

Get help: You’re related?

Sans Whisperer: no

Sans Whisperer: @sWee(d)t put a leash on him

sWee(d)t: COME HERE

Salt Pillar: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Salt Pillar: hELP mEEHEJHWjfklashjhgrjklahkgj

#3 Sinner: who fell down the stairs

That’s the mf tea: read up

#3 Sinner: oh shit

#3 Sinner: f to pay respects

That’s the mf tea: f

He need some milk: f

Cure of insomnia: f

End me: f

End me: @Monika

Monika: what

End me: pay your fuckin respects

Monika: f

#2 Sinner: f

The Sinner: f

Pissed™: f

Sans Whisperer: no u

Sober: that’s harsh

Sans Whisperer: it be like that sometimes

Sober: my respect is too precious to be given out 

Salt Pillar: rude

Sans Whisperer: good you’re still alive

Sans Whisperer: the salt tombstone isn’t ready

Salt Pillar: oh

Salt Pillar: shape it like a cube

Sans Whisperer: sure

Sans Whisperer: @Pissed™ write it down

Pissed™: why me

Sans Whisperer: just do it

Pissed™: fine

Pissed™:The sacred words are down

That’s the mf tea: sacred words asjdkghlakj

Pissed™: THE WORDS ARE FUCKING SACRED

Pissed™: TIS THE FIRST SALT TOMBSTONE OF ALL OF US

sWee(d)t: when its done notify me

sWee(d)t: I’ll give him an early experience of it

Salt Pillar: well shit

Meme: should I be scared

_Smol Vacuum has changed Meme’s name to Sacred memeist_

Sacred memeist: this is why we’re friends

Smol Vacuum: look mom I made a friend

_Sacred memeist has changed Smol Vacuum’s name to Oof memeist_

Oof memeist: okay this makes it sound like im dead

Sacred memeist: oh yeah

Sacred memeist: 43

Oof memeist: autobots roll out

Get help: Should I be concerned?

Sans Whisperer: always

Sober: be glad the ceiling is still intact

Get help: You know that if I didn’t have a ceiling, you wouldn’t have a floor? As your room is above mine?

Sober: spare the logic

Sober: god save me

Kink Shaming: no u

Sober: oh welcome to hell

Kink Shaming: i am born from hell

Kink Shaming: its great

Sober: sure

Sober: i believe you

He need some milk: gays

He need some milk: *guys

Sober: wooooow

Sober: what is ur need

He need some milk: help

Kink Shaming: wHaT iS uR nEeD

He need some milk: its overflowing

Sober: oh shit

Kink Shaming: you take care of this

Sober: i hate you

Kink Shaming: rekt

 

**Mental Hospital**

 

**4:23 PM**

_Sober has kicked Sans Whisperer and Get help out of the chat_

Sober: yall know why were gathered here today

I have problems: you told me about this earlier

Sober: yes

Sober: we’re taking action 

Smol Oofs: finally

Smol Oofs: I have to hear a certain person rant every single day

Sober: same

Pissed™: oh this is great

Pissed™: I have already constructed a plan

Meme: spill

Pissed™: so

Pissed™: yall know how I live with B-52 and napoleon lives with brownie?

Meme: I see where this is going

I have problems: yeah

Pissed™: we switch

Pissed™: im making a great sacrifice here

Smol Oofs: rude

Pissed™: but

Pissed™: it gets the kids closer

Sober: valid

Sober: lets construct a excuse

Meme: the two of you got together

Pissed™: excuse me

Pissed™: my fucking dignity?

Meme: right right dont kill me

_Sober has added oh shit waddup to the chat_

I have problems: _whomst_

Oh shit waddup: its me Tami

I have problems: you have MA’s number?

Sober: i have a lot of numbers

Sober: anyways

Sober: read up

Oh shit waddup: I approve

Oh shit waddup: I’ll tell em that we getting a rearrangement

Sober: thanks! 

Oh shit waddup: im a great landlord aint I

Meme: all worth it 

Pissed™: yep

I have problems: thirded

Oh shit waddup: time to collect my winnings from Fuki

Oh shit waddup: im rich muahahaha

_Oh shit waddup has left the chat_

Sober: oh wow she actually betted

Sober: act like none of this happened

_I have problems has erased all messages for the past 20 minutes_

_I have problems has added Sans Whisperer and Get help to the chat_

Sans Whisperer: um

Sans Whisperer: why

Sober: oh we just needed to do something

Get help: And why are we kicked from the chat for your planning?

Pissed™: oh btw i received some news

Sans Whisperer: what is it

Pissed™: apparently were switching rooms?

Pissed™: you two are now together

Pissed™: I have to deal with napoleon B-52 you will be missed

Smol Oofs: you suck

Pissed™: no u

Meme: I can already tell that this new arrangement for these two is gonna go great

 

**Sacred memeist >>> Oof memeist**

 

The real question is can YOUR pinning gay ass handle this

cOmE oN

why you gotta do me like this

OH YOU KNOW

MAYBE ITS BECAUSE THE FACT THAT YOUVE RANTED TO ME FOR SEVERAL MONTHS???

Blocked and fucking reported

im taking ur meme licence away

gasp

you would not

fucking watch me

You know sometimes i wonder how no one killed you yet

young man there aint a yet

you are LITERALLY a day older than me

ha ha no u

lets pray that you survive

God hates me

 

**Hell**

 

**4:30 PM**

Least Sinned: anyone see a juul with yellow markings

Smol Sinner: I see your mental health slipping away

#3 Sinner: well uh its in my possession

Least Sinned: where are you

#3 Sinner: hell

Least Sinned: thats where all of us are

The Sinner: actually im in the void

The Sinner: the darkness consumes me

#2 Sinner: behold the new emo

The Sinner: stfu

#2 Sinner: never

The Sinner: die bitch

#2 Sinner: tonight when you sleep your dead

The Sinner: *youre

#2 Sinner: *you’re

Smol Sinner: staHhhhhhhhP

The Sinner: no u

#3 Sinner: just

#3 Sinner: go to your corners ur grounded

#2 Sinner: BUT MOM

#3 Sinner: nuh

Least Sinned: i have 911 on speed dial in case shit goes down

The Sinner: forgive me father for I have sinned

#3 Sinner: read my name

The Sinner: were all sinners now

Smol Sinner: we need vinegar to clesen

The Sinner: why vinegar

Smol SInner: me no like vinegar so it no easy cri cri

The Sinner: get help

#2 Sinner: you do realize you need help the most

The Sinner: excuuuuusssSSeSEE meeeEEEE

#2 Sinner: reverse uno card

The Sinner: reverse uno card

#2 Sinner: reverse

The Sinner: reverse

Least Sinned: AND I WAS WONDERING WHERE ALL THE UNO CARDS WENT

Least Sinned: BITCH

The Sinner: wow hes pissed

Least Sinned: my pizza had less chicken

#2 Sinner: thats rough buddy

Least Sinned: I NEED SOME BONELESS ICE

#3 Sinner: BONELESS ICE HJFLAHFK

Smol Sinner: YOU MEAN WATER

Least Sinned: NO BONELESS ICE

Smol Sinner: WATER

Least Sinned: BONELESS ICE

Smol Sinner: ICE AINT GOT BONES

Least Sinner: NEITHER DOES WATER

#3 Sinner: WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION

#2 Sinner: WHY ARE WE YELLING IRL AND IN TEXT

The Sinner: WHY AM I SANE

#2 Sinner: your not

The Sinner: good point

Smol Sinner: WELL YEAH WATER AINT GOT BONES BC THEY BONELESS ICE

Smol Sinner: WAIT

Least Sinned: HA

Smol Sinner: FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Least Sinned: REKT

Least Sinned: now i descend back to the abyss

Least Sinned: goodbye peasants

_Least Sinned has muted notifications for 1 user_

#2 Sinner: the emo club i tell ya

#3 Sinner: i is not peasant

#3 Sinner: i know shit about you

Least Sinned: why do you have to be like this

#3 Sinner: im sorry

Least Sinned: kill me

#3 Sinner: are you sure

Least Sinned: yea

The Sinner: why is the knives missing from the kitchen

The Sinner: do you have them

Least Sinned: mayhaps

#2 Sinned: AUTOBOTS ROLL OUT

_5 people are offline_

 

**mothman com an kil u lmaoooooo**

 

**4:52 PM**

 

Cold Coco: that makes no sense

Lesbianb 1: this kinda shit don need to make sense

Lesbianb 2: right

Peacekeeper Monika: okay

dead inside: the moral of the story is

Peacekeeper Monika: forget laws

dead inside: and love

dead inside: GET

Peacekeeper Monika: PAID

Peacekeeper Monika: AND

dead inside: WASTED

Lesbianb 1: beautiful *cri*

Cold Coco: i thought it was forget laws and love get paid and laid

dead inside: that rhymes huh

Peacekeeper Monika: we will consider a title change

dead inside: OH WAIT

dead inside: YALL WANNA HAVE A PARTY

Cold Coco: HELL YEAH

Lesbianb 1: OFC

Lesbianb 2: YEEEEEEEEEEE

Peacekeeper Monika: YEA

dead inside: chocolate cue the meme music

Cold Coco: yes sire

dead inside: tiramisu cue the food

Peacekeeper Monika: WAY AHEAD OF YA

dead inside: black tea hit the stores

Lesbianb 1: _nyoom_

dead inside: milk go with your girlfriend and make sure she gets pie

Lesbianb 2: _nyoom_

dead inside: imma do my part

dead inside: meet at the lesbianb’s room at 5:30

Peacekeeper Monika: LETS GET THIS PARTY GOIN

 

**this house is a fucking mess**

 

 **5:10 PM** **  
**

#3 Sinner: btw @Least Sinned I put ur juul back

Least Sinned: oh thanks

Smol Sinner: i hid the knives

The Sinner: nice nice

Hey sisters: i dont wanna know what happened

Smol Sinner: yeah no

Smol Sinner: nuthin happened-

Sober: the author is sleep deprived give it a minute

Kink Shaming: actually stop

Weed aunt: the wall

Weed duck: its shattering

Weed aunt: _get her_

Hey sisters: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Smol Sinner: oh gawd

Sober: somebody

Sans Whisperer: ONCE TOLD ME

Sober: get them help-wait NO

Pissed™: THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME

Smol Sinner: STAHP

 

(Bonus 1 ?)

**the abyss where darkness consumes us**

**(oc chat)**

 

 **5:20 PM** **  
** Oh shit waddup: Fukijou Kei get your ass over here and pay up

Edgelord: fuck you

Edgelord: but wait you were right???

I feast on ur tears: ohhh damn the tea

Edgelord: shut de faq up Akido

I feast on ur tears: no u

Oh shit waddup: yall someone come help

Karen: im at a meeting I cant

I feast on ur tears: a meeting???

I feast on ur tears: for wat

Karen wheather minecraft memes should be allowed

Oh shit waddup: _did you say minecraft memes_

Edgelord: _my billboard and minecraft parodies are ready_

I feast on ur tears: _we’re comin_

Karen: no u

Karen: you want me to pull my knife

Edgelord: is it the one made out of uno reverse cards

Karen: yes

Edgelord: oh shit

Edgelord: Tami control your fucking brother before he does something stupid

Oh shit waddup: Haruto I have blackmail

Karen: OH REALLY

Oh shit waddup: YOU GOT PRANK CALLED BY A 9 YEAR OLD TELLING YOU THERES FREE PIZZA AND YOU BELIEVED IT

Oh shit waddup: I HAD TO PICK YOU UP AT THE POPO BC U IS BELIEVED OF SHOPLIFT

I feast on ur tears: HA

I feast on ur tears: HA

Edgelord: SAVED AND SCREENSHOTTED

I feast on ur tears: OMFG A NIN YEAR OLD OH MY FUJKING GODD

Karen: TAMIKIRO REN YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO RUN

Oh shit waddup: GOTTA FUCKING BLASTJRKLTHEJSJ

Edgelord: i cant believe shes fucking dead

I feast on ur tears: f

Edgelord: time for me to sink back to the darkness

I feast on ur tears: jfc Fuki

Edgelord: oh wait, i forgot, im always there

Edgelord: time for me to go deeper

I feast on ur tears: im coming to collect you

Edgelord: welp im on my way

Edgelord: to death

I feast on ur tears: my steps are quicking

Edgelord: time to go

Edgelord: to my grave

I feast on ur tears: im there OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR

Edgelord: so thats what the pounding was i thought the demons finally found me

I feast on ur tears: FUKIJOU

Edgelord: do you have any weapons

I feast on ur tears: no

Edgelord: alright but dont murder me

I feast on ur tears: no promises

Oh shit waddup: I LIVED

Karen: NOT FOR LONG

Karen: YOU WONT

Oh shit waddup: DONT QUESTION MY ABILITY TO LIVE

Oh shit waddup: HOE

Karen: BITCH

Oh shit waddup: ASSFUCK

Edgelord: STOP IT GET SOME HELP

I feast on ur tears: THE ONE THAT NEEDS HELP THE MOST IS YOU

Edgelord: READ YOUR FUCKING USERNAME

I feast on ur tears: valid

I feast on ur tears: BUT STILL

Oh shit waddup: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT

Oh shit waddup: A FEW THINGS

Oh shit waddup: FIRST

Oh shit waddup: WHICH ONE OF YOU SHIT CHEESE MOTHERFUCKERS ATE MY MUFFIN

Karen: SHIT CHEESE MOTHERFUCKERS I GOTTA QUOTE THIS

I feast on ur tears: ITS MUFFIN TIME

Edgelord: TIME TO DIE

Edgelord: DIE

Edgelord: DIE

Edgelord: DIE

Karen: THATS REPERS VOICELINE

Edgelord: WELL I MAIN HIM SO I SHOULD HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT

Karen: valid

Karen: BUT IT WAS ME HOE

Oh shit waddup: FUCK YOU

Karen: IM YOUR BROTHER SO NOPE

Oh shit waddup: aAAaAAHHhHhHhHHHHH

Edgelord: oh right Haruto tricked you to dyeing your hair green aint it

Oh shit waddup: Y E S

Oh shit waddup: okay second

Oh shit waddup: WHICH ONE OF YOU WET PAPER ASSFUCKS TAINTED THE ONLY PURE ONE OF MY PEOPLE

Oh shit waddup: i already interrogated all of the others

Karen: these quotes are getting better and better

Edgelord: second that

I feast on ur tears: that would be me

I feast on ur tears: IT WAS ON ACCIDENT

Oh shit waddup: UGHHHHHHHHHH HE WAS SO GUD AND PURE

Oh shit waddup: if later you have no proof of this den im going to slaughter you with my staff 

I feast on ur tears: time to start scrapping up evidence

Oh shit waddup: THIRD AND FINAL

Oh shit waddup: WHICH ONE OF YOU CUNT FACE FUCK MUFFINS HACKED MY COMPUTER

Oh shit waddup: oh wait i already know who it is

Karen: these quotes are of pure rage i can see it

Edgelord: YEP IT WAS ME

Oh shit waddup: i forgot that you’re the only one here with brain cells

Edgelord: its because you dont have brain cells

Oh shit waddup: right right

Edgelord: anyways I now have blackmail on you!

Karen: dm them to me

Edgelord: you got it

Oh shit waddup: GET OVER HERE YOU TWO

Oh shit waddup: AUGHHHH

 

**(Bonus 2 ?)**

 

 **DnD night (DDS)** **  
** **_((I haven’t played a proper round of DnD before this is my bullshit version of it))_ **

 

Vodka: Y’all know why we’re gathered here at this moment

Galaxy: Y’all

Napoleon: Y’all

Vodka: Shut

Vodka: Anyways

Nata: I was forced here

B-52: I don’t want to be alive yet here we are 

Brownie: You’re 17, which is a lot of years to be alive

Nata: The world be like that sometimes

B-52: Mind you my birthday was 2 weeks ago

Galaxy: So uh...let’s start?

Vodka: Dibs on DM

Napoleon: Awwe I wanna be DM!

Nata: Too bad

Vodka: Construct yo peeps

Galaxy: I’ll take the stage

Galaxy: I will be

Galaxy: Meme superbeing, Internet researcher, 24 HP

Brownie: I have no idea what you just uttered, but I guess it’s valid

Vodka: Acceptable

Napoleon: My turn!

Napoleon: Gamer, Summoner, 20 HP, BUT as a Summoner, I can summon abnormal things. If I roll a 20, I summon Doritos and Mt dew and I become Holy Jesus.

Nata: Wh-Why?

Napoleon: I dunno, I wanna

Nata: Since we’re playing bullshit DnD…

Nata: Frog, Vapeist, 20.4 HP.

B-52: Why a frog?

Nata: First thing that popped in my mind

Galaxy: OH SHIT WADDUP

Nata: *dramatic sigh*

Vodka: You gotta trigger me by adding in that .4?

Nata: Yes

Brownie: ...Vapeist?

Nata: I get high and attack. If I get a 20 I force other people to get high and wasted

Napoleon: Oooohhhh shit

B-52: I’m going as…

B-52: Degenerate, Area 51, 15 HP

Brownie: I’m spectating

B-52: Awwww

Vodka: Alright. Anyways. Let’s start

Vodka: Y’all find yourselves in a forest covered in mist, and you somewhat see a path up ahead. You can barely see each other and you all are a bit separate. What is your first move?

Vodka: Nata you first

Nata: So

Nata: My first move is to demolish the trees around us so the mist can clear and we find each other

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 9. You sliced all the trees with your vape smoke and the mist cleared. But mother nature came from the ground, slapped you, and disappeared

Nata: I’m a frog she’s hurting her own kin

Vodka: You’re a disappointment

Galaxy: Harsh

Vodka: Now that the mist cleared, you all saw each other and grouped up. Galaxy, your move

Galaxy: I say we go to the path

Vodka: *rolls dice while T-posing*

Vodka: 7. You go to the path, but you tripped over your own foot while walking

Galaxy: Dandy

Vodka: Now, you go up to a gate. But a cloaked figure is guarding the door. Napoleon, your move

Napoleon: I ask him what the door leads to, and then uses my xbox controller to capture him

Vodka: *rolls dice epikly*

Vodka: 7. He tells you that it leads you to the treasure dungeon, but your xbox attacks fails, as he believes strongly that playstation is better. He is angered.

B-52: Look at what you’ve done.

Napoleon: Ughhh at least treasure?

Vodka: The figure makes a move to attack. B-52, your move.

B-52: Uhhhh I summon aliens from Area 51 to aid me

Vodka: *rolls dice with a 360*

Nata: Vodka please-

Brownie: Oh wow, a 20

Vodka: *deep breath*

Vodka: B-52 SUMMONS AN ENTIRE ALIEN ARMY ARMED WITH LASER GUNS AND THEY BLAST THE EMO DUDE AWAY WHILE ALSO OPENING THE DOOR WITH THEIR ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY AND HACKING SKILLS. YOU ALL PASS THOUGH WITH NO PROBLEM AND NOW YOUR IN THE DUNGEON

Brownie: That was a lot of screaming

Yuxiang: *bursts door open* I HEARD SCREAMING

Vodka: Oh we’re just playing DnD

Yuxiang: Oh okay thats normal *closes door*

B-52: aNywAyS

B-52: Vodka, next

Vodka: Inside the dungeon, you find a frog-

Nata: mY bReThErIn

Vodka: but he wasn’t important to the story

Nata: Dang it

Vodka: And you come across a lock. Nata, your turn

Nata: I attempt to crack the code

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 1. The lock tells you no u

Nata: Fuck

Vodka: Galaxy, your move.

Galaxy: I also attempt to crack the code

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 15. You crack the code.

Napoleon: Noice

Vodka: You come across a girl standing in the way of your next entrance. Napoleon, your move.

Napoleon: I hit her with the Thot Laser

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 3. She ain’t a thot.

Napoleon: Damn.

Galaxy: iF sHe bReAtHe sHe A tHoT

Nata: That's calling yourself a thot

Brownie: Harsh

Galaxy: *nervous sweating* NVMQUICKSOMEONEGO

Vodka: B-52, your move.

B-52: I hypnotize her with alien technology I gathered from Area 51

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 19. Damn. 

Vodka: The girl gets hypnotized, and also providing ⅔ of the code for the door. You crack it with ease.

B-52: Thanks!

Vodka: She says you’re welcome

Vodka: Anyways, movin on

Brownie: So there’s doors?

Vodka: A lot of em

Vodka: So you go up to the third door, but you notice that the key is missing. Nata, your turn

Nata: I use vape smoke to pick the lock

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 11. The door opened, but the smoke goes back and blurs all of your visions.

Nata: Damn it.

Galaxy: COME ON!

Napoleon: Nata...why

B-52: The world be like that sometimes.

Brownie: That’s tragic

Nata: ...Moving on

Vodka: So! You reach the fourth room, and you find out that the boss is in the final room! What will be your plottings?

Vodka: 1 minute

Brownie: *hits timer*

Napoleon, Galaxy, Nata and B-52: *furious scribbling and muttering*

Napoleon: This is stressful

Galaxy: No shit Sherlock

*1 minute later*

Brownie: *stops timer* Alright, it’s been a minute

Vodka: B-52 opens the door and shoves all of you in

B-52: Popo my name and identity was used without my consent

Vodka: In the room, you find someone wearing a ski mask with miniguns on both his arms.

Brownie: He has  _two_ mini-

Vodka: Everything is possible. Now, Galaxy, your move.

Galaxy: I pull out something from the shipping side of the internet, and I show it to him.

Napoleon: Details, details

Galaxy: Sure

Galaxy: some of that nsfw content

Brownie: What’s n-

B-52: *covers his mouth*

Brownie: 

B-52: VODKA ROLL THE DICE

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 11. He gets stunned for only a minute because the picture is bad quality.

Brownie: *hits timer*

Vodka: NAPOLEON GO

Napoleon: uhhHHHHH

Napoleon: *dramatically thinks*

Galaxy: HURRYYYY

Napoleon: IM TRYING

Napoleon: AHHHH

Napoleon: ROLL FIRST

Nata: WAIT WHAT YOU CAN-

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: A FUCKING 20

Napoleon: THEN I PENETRATE HIS SIDES WITH DORITOS AND I TRAPS HIM IN MT DEW

Galaxy: HELL YEAH

Brownie: *timer rings*

Nata: SHIT

B-52: I think we’re doomed

Galaxy: YA THINK

Vodka: *deep inhale*

Nata: Oh no

Vodka: NAPOLEON ATTEMPTS TO ATTACK THE PSYCHO BOI WITH MT DEW AND DORITOS IT BROKE THE MINIGUNS BUT HE DOESN'T GET KILLED EVEN THOUGH ITS A 20 BECAUSE I SAID SO ALSO HE’S HARD BOSS SO HE ATTEMPTS TO ATTACK ALL THREE OF YOU BUT HE FAILS BECAUSE ITS A 20. NOW HE IS STANDING THERE WAITING FOR YOUR MOVE BECAUSE HE TIRED B-52 YOUR MOVE GO GO GO

Vodka: *deeeep exhale*

Brownie: That was…

Brownie: Should I call the doctor?

Vodka: nO i’M fInE

Vodka: *wheeze*

B-52: Uh...I’ll go

B-52: I summon Area 51 memes to stun him

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 1. The meme failed to upload

B-52: Dang it my rolls were good before

Nata: Bummer

Vodka: He has a chainsaw. He’s comin. Nata, your roll

Nata: I blind him

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 15. He is blind for 1 and a half minutes.

Vodka: Galaxy, go

Galaxy: I pull out some vines from the internet

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 2. No Service.

Galaxy: Darn

Vodka: Napoleon, go

Napoleon: I pull out smash and 1v1 him

Nata: My god

Vodka: *rolls dice*

Vodka: 19. You beat him in Smash. He is ashamed and ran away.

Vodka: But he forgot to give you the location of the prize

Napoleon: Shit

Napoleon: We gotta get it

Door: *bursts open*

Spicy Gluten: *Heavy breathing*

Vodka: What is your need

Spicy Gluten: *inhales*

Spicy Gluten: ITS BLACK FUCKING FRIDAY

Everyone: *le gasp*

Galaxy: OH YEAH IT'S MIDNIGHT

Vodka: EVERYONE GET YOUR THINGS WE’LL FINISH THIS LATER

Spicy Gluten: I RAIDED THE CAR WE’RE GOING

Brownie: Why have we chosen the night before Black Friday to do this...

B-52: *pulls Brownie out of door*

Everyone else: *yeets out of door*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried  
> the oc names in this i came up randomly so yea


	12. Hetero Ranting, Robbing, Black Friday, Mission Kimpossible and spying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read end notes

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

 

**12:01 AM**

Hey sisters: @everyone ITS BLACK FRIDAY

Smol Sinner: ASSEMBLE   


The Sinner: I NEEDS MY XBOX

#2 Sinner: I NEEDS MY PLAYSTATION   


The Sinner: YOU WANNA GO   


#2 Sinner: SURE 

#2 Sinner: FIGHT ME

The Sinner: TOMORROW MEET ME AT THE PIT

Weed aunt: OWO SOME GOOD SHIT THIS IS   


Weed duck: IM ALREADY RAIDING WALMART

Kink Shaming: IM WITH HIM

Weed aunt: @Hey sisters: WHERE YOU

Hey sisters: IM WITH NAPOLEONS PEOPLE   


Sober: WHY ARE WE SCREAMING   


Hey sisters: THIS IS A PRESTIGE EVENT   


That’s the mf tea: OH SHIT   


That’s the mf tea: PANIC AND RUN WERE ALL DEAD   


That’s the mf tea: @He need some milk YOU UP

He need some milk: YEA

Get help: ...Can’t we just calm down?

End me: this day is a traumatizing experience where no one calms down welcome to the real world

Get help: Okay...

Monika: the kid is traumatized lmao

Cure of insomnia: ooof

Monika: f

Sober: OH SHIT WE LOST ONE

Sacred memeist: WHOMST   


Sober: @Get help WHERE DID YOU GO   


Sans Whisperer: ANSWER ME

Sober: oh great i found him

Sober: I dont think hes stayed past midnight

Sober: B-52 get him to your guys room pls

Sans Whisperer: fine

That’s the mf tea: oooof

End me: rip

Monika: Okay im ready

End me: we’re in front of bt’s room

Monika: comin

  
  


**6:54 AM**

The Sinner: hows it going

#3 Sinner: not good

#3 Sinner: me along with my bro are squished between the people waiting for the major stores to open

Least Sinned: lmao its hell

Least Sinned: OH WAIT   


Least Sinned: I saw two of MA’s friends 

Least Sinned: brb

#3 Sinner: dOnT lEaVe mE

 

**Least Sinned >>> Oh shit waddup**

I saw two of your people while camping outside 

whomst

your brother and the other girl

please tell me Akido and Haruto are on a date or something

we have a betting pool and shit

oh snap

imma spy

lmao this is why I love you guys no hetero

Same no hetero

are you there alone

no im with mah bro

Oh nice good to know you have someone to call 911 for you

ik its hectic

oop it just opened

Stay safe

same to ya

 

 

**the abyss where the darkness consumes us**

 

**7:01 AM**

Oh shit waddup: @Karen @I feast on ur tears one of my people has spotted you two

Edgelord: wow

Karen: cant we get stuff without being spied on

Oh shit waddup: no

Edgelord: where are you im coming 

Oh shit waddup:  _ pinned location _

Edgelord: the hell did you go

Edgelord: thats a 30 min drive

Oh shit waddup: im at a cluster

Karen: you playing smart

Oh shit waddup: yes

Edgelord: OH that is the golden stop

Oh shit waddup: I stole the van

I feast on ur tears: fuck you

Oh shit waddup: save it for your date 

I feast on ur tears: KHEAJFHJLKAHF WERE JUST HANGING OUT AS FRIENDS

Karen: Ren de faq   


Edgelord: thats what they all say

Karen: how about you two?

Edgelord: naw we’re the supreme meme lords

Oh shit waddup: yes

Oh shit waddup: coward in fear peasants

Oh shit waddup: btw I found some good shit

Edgelord: put it in the bag

Edgelord: get me one too

Oh shit waddup: already a step ahead of ya

Karen: are you two separated

Edgelord: a bit

Oh shit waddup: Ive successfully raided us some gucci

Edgelord: oh thats gucci

Edgelord: okay im setting out

Edgelord: omw to bring more space   


Oh shit waddup: alright

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

 

**7:23 AM**

#3 Sinner: I LOST YOU   
Least Sinned: SAME

#3 Sinner: NO SHIT SHERLOCK

#2 Sinner: OH WAIT I THINK I SEE ONE OF YOU   


The Sinner: its me bitch

#2 Sinner: oh welp

Smol Sinner: HOW DO WE MANAGE TO GET LOST EVERY TIME   


Hey Sisters: honestly im having a harder time

Smol Sinner: context

Hey Sisters: exhibit 1

Hey Sisters: peking got kicked out bc he was causing a disturbance

Hey Sisters: so now hes spamming all of us 

Weed aunt: can confirm

Weed aunt: exhibit 2

Weed aunt: we were separated from lobster

Kink Shaming: can confirm

Kink Shaming: I am the very lost

Weed aunt: we’re at a cluster so

Weed aunt: its gonna take a while before we find each other

Weed aunt: every man and waman for themselves

Hey Sisters: k

Weed duck: I just saw you and your gone

Weed duck: fuck you

Smol Sinner: this day has been a very sad day lmao

Sober: so uh guys

Sacred memeist: im still in shock tbh

Pissed™: same

The Sinner: what happened

Sans Whisperer: its amazing

Get help: Honestly, it’s not that much.

End me: now im interested

Sober: shush and lemme say it

Sober: so

Sober: Brownie somehow got us a lot of free stuff

Sober: like none of us know that he can speak magic

Get help: All I did was to tell them if I can look at something?

Pissed™: you have like charmspeak from the olympians or something

Oof memeist: oh yeah I saw that in your shelves

Pissed™: dont touch mah tings

Pissed™: anyways

Pissed™: this is exactly what happened

Pissed™: Him: so can I have a look at that

Other: sure

-some moments later-

Other: does it look interesting

Him: yea

Other: if you want you can just have it

Him: its fine

Other: no i insist

And now we have free random items

Get help: I took the offer because they were being nice!

Sober: fun fact he actually passed as a 11 year old lmao

Get help: I told you not to tell them that!

Sober: OH WHOOPS   


Sober: HAHA WHAT A ACCIDENT   


Sans Whisperer: shes being fake

Get help: Oh.

Hey Sisters: THATS

Hey Sisters: why cant I have someone in my group that can do that

Weed aunt: bc we straight up rob

Weed duck: can confirm

Kink Shaming: second that

Hey Sisters: valid

Hey Sisters: NEXT   


Smol Sinner: shits gone down

Least Sinned: well duh

#3 Sinner: starters

The Sinner: one (1) at a time 

Smol Sinner: Oh thank you for the (1)

The Sinner: I know some of you cant read

The Sinner: @#2 Sinner

#2 Sinner: WOW   


#2 Sinner: im hurt

The Sinner: Be hurt

#2 Sinner: no u

#2 Sinner: Im coming to your room with my collection of uno reverse cards

The Sinner: Im getting mine

 

**Smol Sinner >>> #3 Sinner**

 

oOoOoOh kInKy

same  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

we are evil

Agreed

Imma stand outside their door incase shit goes down ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Drop by mine first

I need to give you something to cover

smart 

coming 

 

**this house is a fucking mess**

**8:34 AM** **  
**  


Least Sinned: bleach please

Least Sinned: im scarred

That’s the mf tea: OOH WHAT HAPPEN

Least Sinned: I

Least Sinned: I dont think im in position to tell

Least Sinned: Lets just say Im a changed man

Least Sinned: brb i need another speaker so i can blast my emo songs louder

That’s the mf tea: this is the second time that he got the gossip

Least Sinned: may I remind you its not a good thing

That’s the mf tea: well uh

Least Sinned: yesthere’s just that  _ little  _ problem aint it

Least Sinned: also my space is broken

He need some milk: oof

Sober: The author just made you say that because her space is broken and her wrist bone just moved and it hurt

Kink Shaming: what did we say about the wall

Sober: right right

Sober: I am sorry

Kink Shaming: better be

Kink Shaming: for that im taking away your minecraft

Sober: WHAT

Sober: I WILL PROTECT IT AT ALL COSTS   


Kink Shaming: OH REALLY   


Sober: yes

Sober: the deed is done

Hey Sisters: Oh great its done

Kink Shaming: wait what

Hey Sisters: Vodka probably told her highly trained birb to fly it to atlantas or something

Sober: yes

Sober: REKT BITCH

Kink Shaming: wow

Weed duck: relatable

Weed aunt: I still havent found your journal

Weed duck: the children hid them

Sober: this is why we have pets lmao

Weed duck: lmao

He need some milk: this is

He need some milk: oh wow thank you

Weed duck: wat

He need some milk: @ That’s the mf tea BABE LOOK THIS IS WHY WE NEED THE CAT

That’s the mf tea: 

That’s the mf tea: omfg its valid

He need some milk: IM COMING TO COLLECT YOU

He need some milk: today is a good day

Sober: I

Sober: wow okay

End me: I found 100 bucks

Cure of insomnia: its free real estate man

End me: oh sure

Smol Sinner: oh come on

Smol Sinner: I was broke

Cure of insomnia: wait its mine

End me: too late lmao

End me: the estate is mine

Cure of insomnia: NO   


Cure of insomnia: I hate myself

End me: rekt

End me: R E K T   


Cure of insomnia: I will destroy everything you love

End me: good luck destroying yourself lmao

That’s the mf tea: OH SHIT   


_ Cure of insomnia has unlocked the chat _

_ Cure of insomnia has left the chat _

End me: this is when I drop the no homo

#3 Sinner: smart

Least Sinned: oh shit we need lessons from you

End me: I read it in a black market book

_ End me has added Cure of insomnia to the chat _

_ End me has locked the chat _

End me: no homo

Cure of insomnia: better be no homo

End me: lmao

Cure of insomnia: I mean

Cure of insomnia: I found it last week

End me: oh shit

End me: dont touch

Cure of insomnia: no promises

End me: i hate you

Cure of insomnia: sure okay

 

**the abyss where the darkness consumes us**

 

**9:45 AM**

**  
** Oh shit waddup: Ai giq si tiy rgubj rgw sàrw ua fiubf

Edgelord: Usj àxryàkkt agiyks qw aot

Karen: the fuck

I feast on ur tears: what is this 

Oh shit waddup: Ukk gàcw ibw id nt owiokw aot rgwt àkqàta àew deww

Edgelord: xiil

Karen: It doesn't translate to anything

I feast on ur tears: Im confused

Edgelord: its the ancient meme language

Oh shit waddup: you can not unsee

Edgelord: The darkness told me the way of the speak

Karen: imma have to stop you there

I feast on ur tears: lmao

Oh shit waddup: I have a feeling

Oh shit waddup: @Edgelord what are you doing

 

**(Meanwhile)**

 

**Edgelord >>> The Sinner**

 

Do you want to know the way 

count me in

Is it a language

Yes

Extracted from the void

Im interested

So this is what you have to do

  
  


**the abyss where the darkness consumes us**

 

**9:50 AM**

**  
** Edgelord: uh what

Edgelord: nothing

I feast on your tears: suspicious

Karen: very suspicious

Oh shit waddup: hmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Edgelord: stop

Edgelord: and get help

Oh shit waddup: never

Oh shit waddup: its not in my dna

Edgelord: well ill give you a transplant

Edgelord: I have the brain cells

Oh shit waddup: the brain cells for a transplant?

Karen: well

Karen: this kid built a computer from scratch yesterday

Karen: im using it right now

Edgelord: youre welcome

I feast on ur tears: he WHAT

I feast on ur tears: yeah I would say he has enough

Oh shit waddup: well shit

Oh shit waddup: my dna is mine thankyouverymuch

_ Edgelord has changed Oh shit waddup’s name to blease _

blease: valid

Edgelord: get over here were turning your green hair back

blease: THANK JESUS   


Edgelord: i am jesus

blease: no u

  
  


**bloody murder**

 

**9:12 AM**

 

10/10 would not recommend: so i got requested something

Duck bitch: spill

Drunk aunt: owo wats ez et

Kink Shaming: some shit that will go down 

Weed: valid

Weed: anyways

Weed:  _ spill _

10/10 would not recommend: MA wants some people to spy on two of her friends that she bet on whether or not they’re in a relationship and she wants that money cz we all broke lmao and yeah

Drunk aunt: didn’t Hamburger say smt about two of her friends hanging out earlier today?

Weed: ooh yeah

Weed: and SURE ID LOVE TO

Drunk aunt: second that

10/10 would not recommend: we’ve got 3

10/10 would not recommend: what about the others

Kink Shaming: idk actually

Duck bitch: same

Weed: you’re coming

Drunk aunt: second that

Duck bitch: well that escalated quickly

Kink Shaming: we never get freedom 

Duck bitch: correct

Drunk aunt: de word is going to be run by waman

Kink Shaming: if it goes at this rate

Weed: yes

Weed: cant wait for 2 am

Kink Shaming: same

Drunk aunt: imma get ready

  
  


**this house is a fucking nightmare**

 

**2:30 AM**

 

Kink Shaming: im in position

Sober: So am I

Weed duck: thirded

Hey sisters: almost there

Weed aunt: mine is a bit far gimme a sec

Kink Shaming: sure

 

**sleep? who she?**

 

_ Sans Whisperer has removed Sober from the chat _

Sans Whisperer: no one say anything in the chat i wanna see where this is going

Cure of insomnia: sure

Pissed™: tbh same

Salt Pillar: fair

_ Sans Whisperer has added Sober to the chat _

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

 

**2:36 AM** **  
**  


Weed aunt: now in position

Kink Shaming: took you awhile

Sober: initiate stage 1

Weed duck: going

Weed aunt: second that

Hey sisters: Ill start preparing

Hey sisters: I am good

Weed duck: good

Weed aunt: good

Sober: stage 2

Sober: go

Kink Shaming: alright

Kink Shaming: eagle 1 has arrived

Sober: shit

Sober: someone go distract him

Weed aunt: omw

Sober: great

Sober: boston you good

Kink Shaming: no

Kink Shaming: give it a sec

Kink Shaming: ashblgrajs

Sober: oh shit you good

Kink Shaming: sorry the voice typing malfunctioned a bit

Weed duck: oof

Kink Shaming: im good

Sober: stage 3

Weed duck: alright

Weed duck: the c4 is placed

Sober: stage 4

Weed duck: its off

Weed duck: were going

Kink Shaming: can confirm 

Kink Shaming: you guys get the car ready

Kink Shaming: we be out in a bit

Sober: cool

Sober: spice you got it

Hey Sisters: yep

Hey Sisters: its where we planned

Sober: yuxiang how is it with eagle 1

Weed aunt: did a quick dash at a nearby store

Weed aunt: led him away

Sober: good

Sober: give us your location we will pick you up

Weed aunt: go straight and a left

Weed aunt: im in the alley

Hey Sisters: alright

Hey Sisters: ill pin it on the map

Kink Shaming: we got it

Weed duck: heading to the roof

Hey Sisters: mmmmkay

Weed duck: shit security

Weed duck: give us a min

Sober: oof

Sober: im jumping from the roof

Hey Sisters: got you

Sober: oh wow that new upgrade sure helped

Hey Sisters: yep

Hey Sisters: Yuxiang hows it going

Weed aunt: chill

Weed aunt: mall security still patrolling the area otherwise im good

Weed aunt: I called it mall security for the ring they aint open yet 

Hey Sisters: fair

Kink Shaming: we arrived on the roof

Weed duck: jumping

Sober: STEP ON IT   


Sober: OH YE   


Weed duck: e a s y

Kink Shaming: finally i get some exercise

Weed duck: yuxiang you see us

Weed aunt: a yep

Weed aunt: slow down just a bit when you approach

Hey Sisters: got it

Weed aunt: alright

Weed aunt: oof barely got it

Sober: omfg guys

Kink Shaming: what

Sober: WRONG CHAT

Weed duck: are you fucking serious

Weed duck: THE WHOLE TIME

Kink Shaming: THAT EXPLAINS THE USERNAMES

Sans Whisperer: we’ve been watching for a while

Pissed™: can confirm

Salt Pillar: that was interesting

Cure of insomnia: what a show

Weed aunt: look we all are sleep deprived 

Weed aunt: no time for this shit

Weed duck: okay okay

Weed duck: can you guys like

Hey Sisters: not mention anything about us robbing a bank?

Salt Pillar: sure

Sans Whisperer: can do

Weed aunt: thx

Weed aunt: so uh

Weed aunt: were actually in the news a couple of times

Weed aunt: so

Sans Whisperer: ohhh right i saw it

Kink Shaming: welp

Kink Shaming: if the cops ever come im blaming you guys

Pissed™: im too tired for this shit

Sans Whisperer: in the morning too?

Pissed™: all the time

Pissed™: 24/7

Salt Pillar: what a fucking mood

Cure of insomnia: same

Cure of insomnia: lets just hope the others dont see this

 

**4:01 AM**

 

Get help: What happened?!

Cure of insomnia: of course that is out of the window

Get help: Did you guys seriously rob a bank?   
Sober: look we can explain

Get help: Without me?

Sober:

Sans Whisperer:

Cure of insomnia: 

Salt Pillar:

Weed duck:

Weed aunt:

Hey Sisters:

Kink Shaming: I

Kink Shaming: did i fucking read that right

Kink Shaming: or am i going blind

Get help: I think I might have messed up a little bit.

Sans Whisperer: a little bit

Sans Whisperer: a little bit

End me: I am not surprised

Get help: Please don’t.

End me: look i was about to spill this sooner or later

Get help: Wow.

End me: this little fuck has shoplifted so many times

End me: i cant even

End me: and you know what

End me: its only been a week since I did the paperwork for us to be brother and you have done it 6 times already

Get help: The one with the car was an accident, mind you.

Kink Shaming: the one with the WHAT

Sans Whisperer: hMMMM wHat elSe aRe yOu hIdinG frOm uS

Get help: This is really a turn of events.

Get help: I’m just gonna take my leave.

Sans Whisperer: youcanthidefrommeilivewithyou

Get help: Fair.

Pissed™: im getting tortured here

Pissed™: napoleon dominates 65% of the room

Sans Whisperer: does that mean im a gud roommate

Pissed™: the best

Sans Whisperer: tHaNkS

Get help: Yeah, you’re pretty fair in the rooming situation.

 

**Sans Whisperer >>> Sober**

 

IS THIS A COMPLIMENT

UM YES

OH

THATS COOL

VERY FUCKING COOL

Yeah i can sense the panic through the screen

 

**this house is a fucking mess**

 

**4:20 AM** **  
**

Weed aunt: owo look at ze time

Weed duck: your turn

Pissed™: cool

Pissed™: imma beat the shit out of napoleon and wake him up at this hour

Kink Shaming: do it i dare you

Oof memeist: I HATE YOU

Oof memeist: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA   


Pissed™: did it

Pissed™: lmao

Sober: that explains the screaming

Sober: the hell did you do

Pissed™: I dumped ice 

Oof memeist: imma get a fucking cold

Pissed™: too bad

Pissed™: live with it

Oof memeist: ugh

Oof memeist: life hates me

Pissed™: same

Pissed™: but life fucks with you more

Oof memeist: welp

Oof memeist: unlock your room im coming to kill you

Pissed™: no u

Sober: welp

Sober: pull through

Sober: all part of the plan

Sans Whisperer: the what

Sober: OH LOOK AT THE TIME I GOTTA GO FEED MY COUCH

Get help: ...Couches don’t need to be fed?

Sober: I MEAN

Sober: MY BELOVED BIRB   


Get help: Oh. That makes more sense.

Sober: OKAYS BYE

Sans Whisperer: okay

Sans Whisperer: anyways

Kink Shaming: oh yes the plan

Sober: SHUT

Kink Shaming: oops a typo I mean the plane

Get help: The plane?

Kink Shaming: yea

Kink Shaming: the plane

Sans Whisperer: oh cool a plane

Sober: ya dont use planes

Sans Whisperer: right

Sans Whisperer: the sky is free real estate

Pissed™: right 

Pissed™: before you keep complaining about the wingspan

Sans Whisperer: it be like that sometimes

Pissed™: also someone send help an angry 9 year old is trying to kill me

Oof memeist: EXCUSE YOU

Pissed™: no 

Sans Whisperer: I mean you kinda are the shortest out of all of us?

Oof memeist: thats bullying

Sober: it the troooth

_ Sober has changed Oof memeist’s name to 9 year old _

9 year old: why

9 year old: kill me

Get help: I feel betrayed.

End me: look you didnt ask me

Get help: But still!

Cure of insomnia: is it rally that important

End me: were literally just

Cure of insomnia: but sure whatever you can join

Get help: Oh yay!

Sober: what happen

Get help: They’re having a pillow fight behind my back.

End me: no-

Sober: BETRAYAL   


Sober: I LOVE PILLOW FIGHTS   


9 year old: SAME   


Kink Shaming: hold

Kink Shaming: me and the people are diving up the moneys

Kink Shaming: get your ass over here right now

Sober: dont even thinking about leaving mine out i was the mastermind

Kink Shaming: then HURRY   


Sober:  _ IM GOING AS FAST AS MY LEGS CAN GO _

Kink Shaming: COOL

Sober: ALRIGHT OPEN THE DOOR   


Hey Sisters: GOT IT   


Sans Whisperer: is the nine year old still killing you

9 year old: god why

Pissed™: nah

Pissed™: im safe

9 year old: never

Pissed™: well shit

9 year old: you cant be forgiven

Pissed™: time to set out for the holy bible

9 year old: wow

The Sinner: I drink holy water for a living yet I am still a sinner

Sober: god you scared me

The Sinner: The shadows has me

The Sinner: I appear at the crack of dawn just like them

The Sinner: Oweuag àkk

Sober: the fuck

The Sinner: one of MAs friends taught me this conduct

Sober: guys I think hes a bit emo

Pissed™: a bit might be an understatement

Sober: true dat

Sober: but bruh

Sober: what character development

The Sinner: The world be like that sometimes

The Sinner: but then I remembered the unstoppable march of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death

Sober: im coming back to our room to shut you up

The Sinner: sure

_ Pissed™ has changed The Sinner’s name to Emo kid _

Emo kid: wow rude

Sans Whisperer: he has a point

Emo kid: welp

Emo kid: Im getting influenced I guess

 

**(Meanwhile)**

 

**the abyss where the darkness consumes us**

 

**5:32 AM** **  
**  


blease: @Edgelord

Edgelord: what is your fucking need im summoning demons here

Karen: oh um okay

blease: why is red becoming emo

blease: I have a feeling that you were behind this

Edgelord: yea it was me

blease: hide your kids we are not safe from this kid

I feast on ur tears: oh shit

I feast on ur tears: wheres my minecraft book

Karen: its in my room

Karen: you left it there

blease: owo wats this

Edgelord:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I feast on ur tears: STAHP

blease: NEVER

Edgelord: second that

Karen: wow rude

 

**blease >>> Edgelord**

 

So.

omfg Haruto rants and yells at me every night about this

WAIT WHAT   


SAME HERE WITH AKIDO

oh

OH SHIT

MMM TIME TO COLLECT OUR WINNINGS

WAIT HOW MANY PEOPLE BETTER ON THE OTHER SIDE AGAIN

WAIT   


WAIT LEMME PULL UP THE DOC   


holy mcfuck were rich

what 

Ava betted a thousand bucks on the opposing side

what the SHIT

I need to have a word with her some day

BUT I AINT COMPLAINING

them rich kids man

lmfao

welp

Get me the context imma paste it on google docs

Okay

 

**((CONTEXT))** **  
**  


**Karen >>> Edgelord**

 

FUKIJOU

WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING NEED I NEED TO FINISH THIS SHRINE

wow um okay

BUT 

IDK WHY BUT I THINK I LIKE KANISA???

about time lmao

stap

idk how Ren tolerates you

BUT HELP IM PANICKING

You sound like a girl

but sure

WOW

you want me to bring something that distracts you

DON THINK IT WILL WORK ITS STUCK IN ME MIND

RE

So the memeing runs in the family

I see

So uh

Hm

can you not just man up and ask her

Butwhatifsherejectsmeandwearentfriendsanymoreaaaaa

Spaces pls i have light dyslexia and you know it

But what if she rejects me and we arent friends anymore?

Nah man you two be like glue

Idk man im not an expert on this you should ask your sister

you know what im coming over so you can rant

wow thanks

im a great friend arent i

Yea

just dont tell Ren

HMMMMM IDK ABOUT THAT

I take back my previous statement

Why are you like this

must be the darkness that is fueling my very existance

Must be

GET OVER HERE I NEED TO RANT

KKKKKKKKK

 

**I feast on ur tears >>> Oh shit waddup**

 

REN   


HELP

WOT IS YOU NED

I LIKE 

YOUR BROTHER

OMFG MAH SHISTER IN LAW???

HJKGDJHKWLA NO   


IM FREAKING OUT AND SCREAMING

CHILL SHISTER

IMMA BE THE BEST WINGWAMAN

WHAT DO I DO

I JUST   


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BUT??? I THINK ITS GENES OR SOMETHING??? LEGIT EVERYONE IN YOU FAMILY IS CUTE???

(wow thanks for the compliment)

(ik ik if i was lesbian i would totaly d8 you lmao)

(owo rlly)

(ye but were still the bestest of shisters right)

(yeah uwu)

(uwu)

HELP

okie but calm down first

tell me what you like about dat bitch first so i can weigh out the problem

okay 

okay 

first 

DO ALL OF YOU HAVE NEON HAIR OR SOMETHING IT SO PRETTY AND CUTE HIS LOOK FUCKING SOFT AND ITS BLUE AND PINK??? PINK??? ITS LIKE COTTON CANDY WHAT THE FUCK PLEASE TELL ME ITS NATURAL LIKE MINE IS JUST PLAIN WHITE IT SO BORING BUT THE FUCK HARUTO HOW DOES ONE DO THAT

Imma take the while that your typing to tell you that yes it is natural before the bitch dyed it green mine is a similar color just mixed with lime

But yes please continue

owo its NATURAL?

ye weird genetics and shit

Thats cool

AND AMAZING

But I will continue my rant

Im waiting

Second

 

HOW THE FUCK DOES ONE COOK LIKE I CAN ONLY MAKE CUP NOODLES OR SOMETHING I CANT EVEN USE THE MICROWAVE BUT OMFG LIKE THE SHIT HE MAKES IS SO??? GOOD??? HOW DOES ONE EVEN DO THAT I DONT THINK HES HUMAN 

well your family is literally a bunch of shifters so i guess he isnt

BUT STILL HOWWWWWWW LIKE LAST WEEK HE LEGIT JUST MAKE SPGHETTI AND ITS LIKE SO GOOD WHAT THE FUCK

A few things

One, yes we are not human

Two, he does all the cooking chores at home so I guess thats how he adapted

Three, the fuck how do you not know how to use the microwave

Im stupid you know that

fact

BUT STILL   


can i continue my ranting

later

but hear me out shister

Listening

man youve got it bad

Yea ik

be a waman and ask him

WHAT NO

HE GON REJEKT ME

AND WE MIGHT NOT BE FRIENDS   


HE GON HATE ME SHISTER

a few things

one if he ever hurts you shister know that i will go after him

second I have my people

oh the souls

What about them

Five of them are wanted criminals, all of them have the sheer force of memes, god and anime is on their side, one of them can manipulate peoples minds to doing what he wants while he himself doesn't know it, the person previously mentioned can knock people out with pureness just by simply existing, I think they have a stash of air horns, do I need to go on?

oh damn they are cray cray

which is why the government put them in my charge

too much to handle lmao

Oof

BUT TO THE MATTER IN HAND

okay shister do you need to rant

Y E S

Kk im omw

Mkay

 

**blease has added Edgelord, Hey Sisters, Kink Shaming, and 3 more to “mission kimpossible”**

 

**10:34 AM**

Weed aunt: hello

Kink Shaming: we dont use hello

Sober: we use

Sober: WHATS UP MOTHERFUCKERS AND WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER MINECRAFT VIDEO

Sober: TODAY WE BE BLOWING UP SUM CREEPER UFOS

Weed aunt: valid   


Edgelord: I like yall already

Weed duck: thats nice

blease: demonitized

Sober: shit

Sober: YT WHY

Edgelord: lmao

blease: ANYWAYS DO YOU KNOW WHY WERE GATHERED HERE TODAY

Edgelord: TO PLAN A DATE?   


blease: CORRECTO   


Sober: oh nice

Sober: the thing is

Sober: do you know the amount of dates im planning rn? I am like the ultimate third wheel

blease: thats sad

Edgelord: how many

Sober: lets see

Sober: 6 

Weed duck: the fuck

Weed aunt: how

Sober: i dont think i counted correctly because im sleep deprived

Edgelord: what a mood

Kink Shaming: everyone here is sleep deprived

Weed aunt: we robbed a bank 2 am this morning

Edgelord: oh same

Edgelord: i mean what

blease: this is the group of criminals i told you about

Weed aunt: thats us lmao

Hey Sisters: yall go without me

Hey Sisters: im reading nsfw fan fictions here

blease: what a mood

blease: send me the link

Hey Sisters: sure

Edgelord: welp

Sober: LETS DO THIS

Sober: im like the expert

Kink Shaming: yeah I see you taking over in our main plan of action

Sober: thats me

Edgelord: Imma not question who the main plan of action is

Sober: thats smart

Sober: anyways

Weed duck: tis about what spice told us aint it

Hey Sisters: yep

blease: correct

Weed duck: seems interesting

Hey Sisters: so

Hey Sisters: I have a plan

blease: spill

Hey Sisters: I have several plans

Edgelord: state them all

Hey Sisters: Plan A

Hey Sisters: we lock them in a room

blease: Haruto has shift

blease: he gon break out

Hey Sisters: we have back up

Hey Sisters: take it away

Sober: Imma ask B-52 to spare his other room

Sober: it has a metal door with fingerprint and pin pad shit you see in a movie

Edgelord: the hell did he get that

Sober: You would think that someone with literally metal parts making up his body know mechanics

Sober: apparently so

_ ((AN: Its a headcanon of mine)) _

Sober: brb imma bribe him

Weed duck: wow

Sober: Tami does reinforced metal work

blease: perfect

Sober: alright the bribe is issued

Sober: plan a can work

Hey Sisters: Plan B

Hey Sisters: Tami you can ask Kani to meet up somewhere, same with Fuki but with Haruto

Hey Sisters: ditch them last sec and make them go on a date

blease: perfect

Edgelord: sure

Hey Sisters: Plan C

Hey Sisters: someone die and they can bond over the body

Kink Shaming: the FUCK

Weed duck: wow okay

Weed aunt: whos dying

Hey Sisters: lemme ask

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

 

**10:43 AM** **  
**

Hey Sisters: so uh guys we are trying to get people to date our plan c is someone die and they can bond over the body anyone wanna volunteer

Pissed™: the fuck

Pissed™: does plan a and b involve killing

Hey Sisters: no

Pissed™: dont

Pissed™: i am too suicidal to be killed by others

Kink Shaming: oh wow

Pissed™: speaking of that

Pissed™: time to die

9 year old: dont

9 year old: just dont

Pissed™: why

9 year old: i am locking you in your room

9 year old: @Sans Whisperer lock his windows from the outside

Sans Whisperer: yes sir

Pissed™: you guys are no fun

Pissed™: I guess im isolated

Kink Shaming: sucks to be you 

 

**Mission Kimpossible**

 

**5:45 PM** **  
**

Hey Sisters: So plan c cant work

Edgelord: crap

Hey Sisters: ...I suppose youre the emo kid

Hey Sisters: actually I should have read your user more carefully

Edgelord: hm yeah

blease: you do realize that your unshifted hair color is blond?

Edgelord: another reason why im always in shift

Weed duck: wut ez shift

blease: we special hoomans with oh wow abilities

blease: we can change our appearance and stuff

Hey Sisters: oh cool that can be convenient for robbing

Edgelord: very

Edgelord: 53 separate news articles is all me

Sober: nice we only have 32

blease: ...the fuck guys

Hey Sisters: idk we like like to do it

Kink Shaming: plus we always broke

Weed duck: thats because last week you got drunk and brought a thousand chicken nuggets

Weed duck: i have to carry you back

Kink Shaming: I THOUGHT I SAID TO NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN

Weed duck: OH WHOOPS MY FOOT SLIPPED

Hey Sisters: okay stop

Weed aunt: oh yeah i was wondering where 15% OF MY FUCKING CASH WENT

Kink Shaming: I didnt have enough so

Weed aunt: im coming to rob it back

Kink Shaming: you would not

Weed duck: she will lmao

Weed duck: my roblox account got hacked

Weed aunt: it was me

Weed aunt: b it ch

Weed duck: you suck

Weed aunt: no u

Weed duck: fine then im solo robbing a bank to get me robux back

Weed aunt: traitor

Edgelord: reminds me time to go shopping

blease: you mean rob someone

Edgelord: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the five of them as partners in crime in hc   
> (This felt like a long update idk)  
> (My doc has 250 pages its getting harder to load)


	13. You guys are friends now??? ((Podcast))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Spaghetti and B-52 are friends now, Steak and Red Wine actually hanged out without killing each other, sudden realization that there might not be a nachos, burrito and taco FS and Lobster might have a thing for Duck

*rustling*

*beep*

Vodka: Um.

Vodka: Oh wait, I’m the only one on.

*beep*

B-52: Not anymore.

Vodka: Jesus fuck, do not scare me.

*beep*

Napoleon: DO IT

*beep*

Nata: MAKE ME   


*beep*

Galaxy: I’m coming to break these kids up

*beep*

Boston: COMMIT NECK ROPE   


Vodka: NO U   


*beep*

Yuxiang: Whoa, a podcast!

Napoleon: Are we getting everyone into this?

Napoleon: Is this a group call?

Vodka: Yes. Everyone is going on.

Nata: Can we add other people other than us

Vodka: Go ham, I don’t give a fuck.

*beep*

Brownie: This is not what I expected.

B-52: Hold up, my mic is glitching

Boston: Oh god you sound terrible

Yuxiang: Child you are fucking demonitized 

Yuxiang: Commit neck rope

*beep*

Spicy Gluten: NECK ROPE AHAHAHAHAHA

Yuxiang: Christ calm down woman

Spicy Gluten: *wheezing sounds*

B-52: Hold up I gotta do something

*beep*

Spaghetti: We became friends for 17 minutes and this is what you drag me into?

B-52: Yes.

B-52: This is friendship bonding

Spaghetti: I see

Spaghetti: That is cultured

Brownie: Wait you guys are friends now?

B-52: Yeah

Spaghetti: Yeah

Spaghetti: It was not that hard actually

Spaghetti: SHIT KAREN TOOK THE KIDS   


Spaghetti: *loud rustling noises*

B-52: He is actually really cultured

Boston: I can see

*beep*

Gingerbread: I HEARD THERE WAS A PODCAST

Vodka: You are here now.

Vodka: This is basically a group voice chat session that would be posted online

Yuxiang: Who’s posting it?

Boston: Who has the highest followers on social media?

Spicy Gluten: I think it was Galaxy?

Galaxy: I only have 3k on YT

Gingerbread: THATS A LOT

Spaghetti: *rustling sounds*

Spaghetti: Thank you for the assistance.

B-52: You are the most welcome.

B-52: What happened?

Galaxy: Do you guys have YT channel

B-52: No

Spaghetti: Yeah

Galaxy: How many subs?

Spaghetti: Not much

Spaghetti: like 400K or something

Vodka: You are posting this podcast on your channel and there is no getting out of it

Spaghetti: Sure lets stir up some shit

Gingerbread:TIME FOR SOME READINGS   


Vodka: OH YES   


*beep*

Red Wine: I heard readings

Red Wine: I have the historical documents ready for yall to get some sleep

Gingerbread: shit not the historical documents

Red Wine: Let’s start

Brownie: This is gonna end badly

Red Wine:  Peppa Pig is a British preschool animated television series directed and produced by Astley Baker Davies in association with Entertainment One, Nick Jr. and Channel 5. The show revolves around Peppa, an anthropomorphic female pig, and her family and peers. The show originally aired on 31 May 2004, and there have been six series as of 2019, the most recent of which commenced broadcasting in February 2019 in the UK. The series is shown in 180 territories including the US and UK. It also aired reruns on the Nick Jr. on Nick block starting on 25 December 2017. However, reruns were removed on 4 February 2019

Boston: I suddenly went deaf.

*beep*

Steak: SpongeBob SquarePants is an American animated television series created by marine science educator and animator Stephen Hillenburg for Nickelodeon. The series chronicles the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom

Red Wine: We all know you can’t read, so stop trying.

Spaghetti: He isn’t trying, he is expressing everything in his full power that exceeds his limit which then one does not try, they just do.

Yuxiang: I don’t need to be listening to logic at this hour

Nata: Got my fucking doritos back

Napoleon: My hands hurt

Galaxy: That was the most beautiful fight I have ever seen

Spicy Gluten: I HEARD DORITOS

Boston: Want to go back to school

Spicy Gluten: No

Boston: Then get a job so you can buy your own fucking doritos

Spaghetti: Oh shit

Spaghetti: Want some doritos

Spicy Gluten: What flavor

Spaghetti:  _ There is no flavor, I replaced the chips with normal nacho chips _

Spicy Gluten: *le gasp*

Yuxiang: Thank you for more ideas for me to get back at duck

Boston: Speaking of duck where is he

Yuxiang: I dunno

Spicy Gluten: Find him and force him here

*beep*

Cola: Hey kid you wanna buy some lettuce

Gingerbread: Oh yes hit me up

Steak: Wait.

Steak: Is there a Taco food soul?

Steak: Or Burrito?

Steak: Nacho?   


Gingerbread:  _ OH MY GOD _

Red Wine: This ain’t it.

Vodka: That’s not good

B-52: Wait hold up

B-52: *loud keyboard typing noises*

Spicy Gluten: Oh god you type loud

B-52: _ WELL IM SORRY _

B-52: Yeah I don’t think so…?

Vodka: And there we have three more OC ideas!

Galaxy:  _ Ahem, the fourth wall _

Vodka: Oh yes, the fourth wall.

Vodka: I am the sorry

Steak: Where’s the last one

Cola: Hiding from society

Gingerbread: He can’t hide from us

Gingerbread: Find him and drag him here

Cola: Yes ma’am

Cola: *door slam*

*beep*

Yuxiang: I have him

Peking: I hate you guys

Boston: You don’t

Peking: Fuck you

Spicy Gluten: Fuck him yourself you coward

Peking: Hello 911 I was stabbed in my own back

Peking: And it hurt

Yuxiang: Oh no my salt wounds

Nata: The doritos has been consumed

Nata: Okay i'm going to listen to this podcast now

Napoleon: YOU   


Napoleon: fuck it im spending my own money

Galaxy: He is grown

Brownie: Napoleon, I didn't know that you yourself had money because you borrowed from me all the time!

Spaghetti: Oh shit the burn

B-52: The wounds has been formed

Napoleon: Im going anyways

Napoleon: *door click*

Peking: This is getting interesting

Yuxiang: I  _ told  _ you it would be fun

Peking: I am never deceiving your power

Peking: Respect women

Spicy Gluten: Yes

Vodka: Yes

Galaxy: Yes

Gingerbread: Yes

Yuxiang: Yes

Spaghetti: I don’t feel it when that time Borscht spilled neon paint over my head

Spaghetti: Women are too crafty

Vodka: Oh shit I need to see that

Spaghetti: No

B-52: Welp 

Peking: Boston are you alive

Boston: No

Peking: Do you need medical attention

Boston: No

Peking: Get him medical attention

Spicy Gluten: Yes sir

Boston: What part of No do you not understand

Spicy Gluten: None of it

Boston: I just realized something

Boston: Do you think that the moon is actually an cateye hole that the gods use to spy on us when we are not looking

Spicy Gluten:  _ WHY _ _   
_

Gingerbread: I feel unsafe

Gingerbread: I am shutting my curtains

*beep*

Hamburger: This is not how I want to spend my next 5 hours

Cola: Hi yes I kidnapped him

Gingerbread: good work soldier

Red Wine: Hi yes do you know where the nearest chilis is

Gingerbread: sure let me send it over

Steak: We’re going

Spaghetti: Wait I thought you guys didn’t hang out together?

Steak: Sacrifices must be made for the sake of the meme

Red Wine: Yes

Cola: You guy got the address

Red Wine: Yes

Red Wine: Be right back

*beep*

*beep*

Nata: I found it

Napoleon: You’re lying

Nata: I fucking did

Yuxiang: What did you find

Nata: His stash of Mountain Dew and Doritos

Brownie: On my way

B-52: Same

Vodka: Coming

Galaxy: Roger that

Napoleon: GUYS NO-

Nata: Too late

Yuxiang: That sounds like good shit

Nata: Now they’re crowded around my computer to hear the podcast-

Nata(Vodka): *munching noises* Hello guys, and this is the newest episode of ASMR.

Nata(B-52): OH SHIT NAPOLEON’S HERE-

*beep*

Peking: F

Yuxiang: F

Spicy Gluten: F

Spaghetti: F

Boston: F

Gingerbread: F

Cola: F

Cola: Bro pay your respects

Hamburger: *robotic voice* I am too lazy to open my mouth

Gingerbread: Type it

Hamburger: *No*

Hamburger: *Fuck off im playing minecraft* 

Gingerbread: It sounds so weird how the robot just said that

Cola: We are forcing words into its mouth

Boston: we pray

Peking: The prayers must be heard

Gingerbread: I’m going to blast an dubstep album

Gingerbread: Just a forward warning

Peking: Shit I love dubstep

Peking: Go ham

Gingerbread: Alright

Gingerbread: I’m gonna put on “Oblivion” by Dirty Palm

Peking: That actually sounds sick

Peking: Im going to steal it for my playlist

Gingerbread: Sure

Cola: YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO FALL INTO OBLIVION   


Gingerbread: FORGET ABOUT THE WORLD WE’RE LIVING IN

Peking: FALL INTO OBLIVION

3 of them: I’M GOING IN!

Yuxiang: I walked in on duck and his headphones are on so loud I can hear it from his doorway

Peking: Its a good fucking song

Vodka: Which is why its on the author’s playlist

Boston: VODKA THE WALL   


Vodka: Okay, Okay

Vodka: I am proud to say that we all lived

Galaxy: I mean there ain’t that much harm from an angry chihuahua

Napoleon: Had not for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you

Nata: Sure jan

Napoleon: I literally know where you sleep

Nata: So do I

Napoleon: Wow

Nata: I do

Vodka: This is going out of hand

Brownie: I would agree

Spaghetti: The trigger level is getting higher and higher

Spicy Gluten: The crops are wilting

Yuxiang: The water is dry

Boston: The endless marching of time is growing faster and faster which leads us all to a faster and painless death

B-52: That’s the topper

B-52: Well played Ladies and Men

Peking: Yeah we aint no gentlemen

Boston: The art of the savages

Cola: Yes

*beep*

*beep*

Steak: That was great

Red Wine: I gots the Hi welcome to chilis on tape now

Red Wine: We both were in the camera so it proved that we took it

Hamburger: *Did you seriously send that to the group chat?*

Steak: Why is he using the robotic voice

Cola: He’s too lazy to open his mouth to talk

Red Wine: Oh wow

Red Wine: That was great, Im saying it again

Gingerbread: Finally, you two can hang out together without arguing.

Red Wine: I wouldn’t call that an achievement

Spaghetti: Is it a temporary cease fire so you guys can scout for memes?

Red Wine: Correct.

Steak: Yeah.

Vodka: It’s been an hour on the podcast, Should I end it?

Peking: It was getting good

Vodka: As you say

Vodka: Continue

Peking: Oh my shit

Yuxiang: What?

Peking: I missed the 4:20 for yesterday

Yuxiang: YOU HAD ONE JOB

Spicy Gluten: Can’t you just take it in the afternoon?

Peking: Are you seriously this dumb

Boston: Then it would be 16:20, dumbass.

Spicy Gluten: Understandable, have a nice day.

Spicy Gluten: I have the TV set up in the front

Spicy Gluten: Netflix night

Vodka: That’s it

Vodka: The podcast is continuing another day!

Vodka: Spaghetti Im sending you the podcast

Spaghetti: Alright Ill post it

Vodka: PEACE

*beep*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will soon bring the dead characters fo this fandom back
> 
> Also there will be podcast eps there and there sometimes


	14. Hi yes wanna play some minecraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is a names list bc i felt like it

**Hell**

**2:20 AM**

The Sinner: this sucks lmao

The Sinner: oh hello jared did you know that I was brain dead today

#2 Sinner: oh really sir did you have a traumatizing experience which then will lead to war flashbacks?

The Sinner: no jared

The Sinner: YES OFC I WILL HAVE THEM WAR FLASHBACKS

#2 Sinner: yeah obviously

The Sinner: owo

#2 Sinner: uwu

The Sinner: I   


#2 Sinner: you

The Sinner: we

#2 Sinner: us

The Sinner: them

#2 Sinner: T H E M   


The Sinner: T H E M   


#2 Sinner: U S   


The Sinner: W E   


Least Sinned: are you guys high

The Sinner: I   


The Sinner: I

#2 Sinner: Y O U   


The Sinner: Y O U   


Least Sinned: I stand corrected

Least Sinned: bye

#2 Sinner: whats up my names jared and my nemesis is a cm taller than me

The Sinner: whats up my names karen and im taller than jared the lil shit

#2 Sinner: thats when you know

The Sinner: life fucking sucks

#2 Sinner: it always sucks

#2 Sinner: when you’re high at 2 am

The Sinner: mood

The Sinner: but like

The Sinner: im surprised we can still spell

#2 Sinner: lmao same

#2 Sinner: my mind is screaming kill me tho

The Sinner: s a m e

 

**Smol Sinner >>> #3 Sinner**

How long do you think they’re gonna keep this up without fighting

Idk hopefully a long time i am sleep deprived and is in desperate need for entertainment and blackmail

Mood

 

**Hell**

The Sinner: Jared walk the dog

#2 Sinner: karen wash the dishes

The Sinner: no

#2 Sinner: no

The Sinner: jared go shove a bunch of little kids out of your way while screaming move im gay

_ ((AN: Please dont do that)) _ _   
_

#2 Sinner: oh sure

#2 Sinner: wonderful

#2 Sinner: begone thots

The SInner: stand corrected she aint a thot

#2 Sinner: give me the official documents

The Sinner: emailing right now

#2 Sinner: karen are you sure you aint a thot

The Sinner: oh idk i might be

The Sinner: i might

#2 Sinner: not helping

The Sinner: i dont help

#2 Sinner: valid

#2 Sinner: im sending over the duck song to your phone on max volume

The Sinner: DONT YOU DARE   


The Sinner:

The Sinner: OH ITS ON   
  


**#3 Sinner >>> Smol Sinner**

 

It aint gonna last knew it

Well i mean a music hacking war seems intersting

Well duh

Are we still sleep deprived

(spell correctly)

Yes

Lets watch

(no u)

(I cant spell)

Yep

(too bad)

 

**Hell**

#2 Sinner: the fuck

#2 Sinner: DID YOU JUST   


The Sinner: GET RICK ROLLED   


The Sinner: HA   


The Sinner: HA

The Sinner: HA

#2 Sinner: its really on now

#2 Sinner: take this

The Sinner: i suddenly fear you, just a little bit

#2 Sinner: better than nothing

The Sinner: seriously

The Sinner: dEsPacItO 2

#2 Sinner: lmao

The Sinner: take some crab rave

#2 Sinner: thanks it actually has some sick beats

The Sinner: oof

The Sinner: welp lets wait

#2 Sinner: alright im sending over

The Sinner: this is actually an okay song?   


The Sinner: oh

The Sinner: OH   


#2 Sinner: search up the video for big enough 

The Sinner: alright

The Sinner: why is he screaming, figuring out whether to touch his hat or not, just staring at the camera in different outfits, and is asking for a surgery for his throat?

#2 Sinner: the world may never know

The Sinner: its a paradox

#2 Sinner: oof

The Sinner: owo wats this

#2 Sinner: what have you stumbled on

The Sinner: “cursed minecraft images”

#2 Sinner: sounds nice

#2 Sinner: i want to see it

The Sinner: sure i found a lot more

The Sinner: you want to come over

#2 Sinner: omw

 

**#3 Sinner >>> Smol Sinner**

 

_ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) _

_ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) _

He coulda just sent the links…

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yep  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(we should stop)

(second that)

aNyWaYs im still sleep deprived

same here

You want to spy on everyone while gather blackmail

Hell yeah

oooh wait

idea 

spill 

We like take a day off every month to gather blackmail

I have to sort my files anyways

do you seriously have FILES on all of us

yes 

Even myself and you

Wow

I am the queen of blackmail

So since were sleep deprived get over here and help me sort this shit

omw 

if anyone asks tell them ur gey

lmao sure

(its true anyways)

(yeah oof)

 

**Sleep? Who she?**

**3:40 AM**

 

Pissed™: question

Sans Whisperer: yes

Pissed™: are fish sleep deprived

Sober: idk maybe

Sober: I think they sleep

Sober: brb doing some research

Salt Pillar: mmmmmmkay

Pissed™: never did i think vodka would do research

Sober: shut its for a greater purpose

Sober: technically yea

Sober: they dont have fucking eyelids so they cant close eyes

Sober: they just like idk remain there motionless

Sans Whisperer: sounds familiar

Pissed™: you literally shut down when you go to sleep

Sans Whisperer: yeah it happens sometimes

Salt Pillar: and I thought they were watching me every day

Sober: i didnt do TOO much research because just that little bit has burned my brain cells for the day

Sans Whisperer: mood

Pissed™: what a mood

Salt Pillar: thirded

Cure of insomnia: oh wow

Cure of insomnia: can you believe that I actually got 3 hours of sleep?

Sans Whisperer: youre lying

Pissed™: what a legend

Salt Pillar: I can not believe

Sober: thank the academy

Cure of insomnia: lmao

Cure of insomnia: omfg wait

Cure of insomnia: what if like in grad we say things like “thank the academy for easily making me sleep more than 10 min”

Sober: omfg yea

Sober: we should do that in our grad

Salt Pillar: second that

Pissed™: im not NEAr grad

Pissed™: give me some senior yearbook quotes

Sans Whisperer: I feel left behind

Sans Whisperer: traitors

Sober: too bad

Sober: you dont blend in, what can I say

Sans Whisperer: this is bullying

Sans Whisperer: bullying

Pissed™: f

Salt Pillar: f

Salt Pillar: honestly im having just that little hold back but its fine

Sans Whisperer: you look like you listen to mcr for a living

Salt Pillar: thats me

Salt Pillar: you know how its break rn

Sans Whisperer: yea

Salt Pillar: and you people gonna have the yearbook quotes

Sans Whisperer: what about them

Pissed™: THAT IS UNCULTURED   


Pissed™: that is like a permanent fine print of the biggest meme

Pissed™: like you can literally put “thats what she said” as the quote

Sans Whisperer: I see

Sans Whisperer: humans are weird

Pissed™: you still look like

Pissed™: idk about 40% human

Pissed™: so your insulting yourself

Sans Whisperer: oh

Sans Whisperer: well shit

Pissed™: well shit indeed

Sans Whisperer: time to construct the perfect meme sentence

Pissed™: he has been taught our work is done

Sober: Bes

Sober: people we have a blackmail gathering and sorting party yall are invited idc if you come or not

Sober: meet at the residence of gingerbread and moon cake

Pissed™: im sold

Pissed™: im coming once i get my notebook

Salt Pillar: jfc

Sans Whisperer: omw

Cure of insomnia: omw

Salt Pillar: i must not pass on black mail

Sans Whisperer: never

Sober: never

Salt Pillar: alright getting my glider

Salt Pillar: open the window

Sober: de faq

Sans Whisperer: open the window im coming with him in case he dies

Pissed™: they aint joking

Cure of insomnia: can confirm i see them both heading to the roof

Sober: why can we not just be normal

Pissed™: normal is not in the dictionary for this family

Sober: makes sense

 

_ ((AN: im trying a style of writing where there is only dialogue {kinda like a script idk}  so here we go)) _

 

*window rapping*

“Who’s going?”   


“Not me, I am traumatized enough to even move.”

“Mood.”

“You guys are hopeless, I’m going.”

*footsteps*

“Hello bitches, welcome to Mcdonalds drive through, what can I get yall?”

*oof* “Can I get a pain with a side of pain?”   


“Can I get free repairs? I’m broke.”

“That’s always Brownie’s problem, not mine.”

“Vodka, I can fight you in a Denny’s parking lot and win.”   


“I doubt that.”

“No u.”

“I now  _ seriously  _ doubt that you can beat me.”

“Like,  _ seriously. _ ”

“Mean.”

“GUYS! Comin or not?”   


“Coming, coming.”   


“Don’t kill us.”

*footsteps*

*door creaks*

“You’re mental.”

“Yeah...she should be hired as 3the government spy or something.”

“Uhm, no. I’ve seen some scarring and traumatizing things with these eyes.”

“That deserves an F.”

“Thank you for the respect.”

“You’re bloody welcome.”

“Hey dudes and dudettes! It’s time for the  _ discussing hour _ .”

“Ooooooh  _ dIsGuSsInG hOuR” _

“Steak and Red Wine had their weekly fights 1 AM at Denny’s parking lot. I am sure they got high afterwards, according to our group chat.” 

“What’s the total number of fights?”   


“They set a record. 592.”

“Whoaaaaaa.”

“That’s a lot of beatings.”   


“It be like that sometimes, I’m surprised that they haven’t been banned yet.”

“Same. I’ve only dealt with their bullshit for 20 years.”

“Wait, you met those idiots at 3?”

“Traumatizing experience, as I can retell. Always the third fucking wheel. But I did get a shit load of blackmail on them, as the one time that Steak pushed Red down the second floor stairs when we were 7. I filmed it.”   


“Is the film still intact?”

“Have it right here.”

*keyboard and mouse clicking*

“Alright, here it is.”   


“Awe, you guys looked cute!”   


“We were seven, what did you expect.”   


“PFFT-HAHAHAHAHAHA”   


“Oh god, that’s a barrel roll.”

“He dislocated his wrist, and this is why he had the Xbox for two months.”   


“Oof. That’s a big punishment.”

“I know, right?”

“Never the Xbox.”   


“By the way, apparently Boston and Spice failed and have to repeat kindergarten.”   


“OH SHIT gotta add that to my files.”

*Paper rustling*

“Can confirm.”

“Wait, so they’re actually a year older than me?”   


“Yes, face the obvious.”   


“I’ve been lied to my life.”

“‘S not my fault they were stupid enough to flunk kindergarden.”

“Welp.”   


“It be like that sometimes.”

*door bangs open*

“GUYS”   


“I thought you actually get sleep, Moon.”   


“I GOT FREE MOOLAH”   


“WAIT WHAT”   


“WHOA”   


“WHAT DID YA GET”   


“FIVE GRAND YO”   


“WE’RE GOIN SHOPPING WHEN MORNING ROLLS”   


“OH YE”   


“Finally, I’ve been battling forever in the championship. My fingers and butt hurts. See ya later.”

“Oof.”

“Bye.”

*door shuts*

“Five GRAND.”

“That’s a lot.”

“No shit, sherlock.”

“I’m trying out Apex.”   


“FINALLY.”

“Me and Cola have been in duos for so long, man.”   


“Sometimes our teammates suck.”   


“Tell me about it.”   


“I PLAY MINECRAFT”   


“SAME”   


“SAME HERE”   


“Wait, do all of you play that game except for me?”   


*silence*   


“Wait, you’ve never played minecraft?”   


“Actually, I haven’t played any video games until last month when Napoleon and Brownie forced me.”

*le gasp* “B-52, you uncultured swine. We’re going it now.”   


“I’m getting my computer.”   


“Same.”

“Thirded.”   


“Yeah, we’re all going.”

*loud footsteps*

*door slam*   


“Um...okay.”   


“Go get your computer.”   


“I don’t have-”   


“You’re about to. I’m gonna borrow a bit from Moon.”

“You don’t have to-”   


“This is serious good shit, you have to do this.”   


*le sigh* “Fine.”

*footsteps*

*door slam*   


*keyboard tapping*

*door creak*   


“Let’s get this rolling.”   


“I already set up a server.”

“Perfect.”   


*door clicks*   


“I’ve gathered the kids and it’s time.”

“Time.”

“Time.”   


“Whoa, you guys doing a ritual or something?”

“Minecraft is a common ritual to all.”   


“Join us, B-52, and you will know the way.”   


“...This sounds like I’m about to die.”   


“Oh yes. You will feel new.”

“Clesened.”   


“This is gettin creepy.”

“It’s necessary.”

“Nata, no offence but you already give me nightmares. Please stop.”   


“Never. Give into the right side.”   


“Is it my cue to leave?”   


“ALRIGHT KIDS, LET’S GET THIS GOING.”   


*1 hours later*   


“I’M LOST!”   


“Where are you?”   


*keyboard smashing* “Shit this guys’s good.”   


“I DON’T KNOW WHERE I AM!!”   


“He’s dug a two block hole, fallen in it, and sealed it.”

“VODKA!!!”   


“What, it’s the truth.”   


“The fuck did you manage that?”   


“Cola, THE FUCKING BASE!”   


“I’m there, I’m there, don’t kill me.”   


“UGH! I DIED!”   


“You WHAT?!”   


“D I E D.”   


“Great...he had the diamond sword, didn’t he?”   


“Yep, I had it.”   


“GUYSTHERESATHINGOVERTHERE”   


“It’s a fucking zombie, B-52 you should be able to kill it.”   


“IMFREAKINGOUT”   


“Christ.”   


“...Are you killing it with a shovel?”   


“I’M PANICKING”   


“We should  _ really  _ get him some help.”

“Seconded.”

“IS IT DEAD?”   


“Yes, it’s dead. Congratulations. It’s four AM don’t go into a celebration.”   


“Valid.”

“WHO”   


“NOT ME, I WAS AT MID”   


“CRAP.”

“Get your shit in the chest, we’re going full in.”   


“Oh shit, Gingerbread’s pissed.”

“Yes I am, and time to take blue.”   


“Yellow was what got us.”   


“Revenge first.”   


“STOP. DIGGING. STRAIGHT. DOWN.”   


“Uh...why?”   


“Just don’t.”   


“I’ll help him.”   


*door bangs open*   


“OH GOD.”   


“NAPOLEON?! MOON?! THE FUCK?”   


“YOU TRAITORS WERE PLAYING MINECRAFT WITHOUT US!”

“Betrayed, stabbed in my own back.”

“It’s four AM, what do you expect?”   
“To wake me up and get me in on this.”

“Are you serious?”   


“MINECRAFT.”   


“Valid.”   
  


**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**7:34 AM** **  
**

9 year old: some TRAITORS were having an minecraft gathering without any of us knowing

_ 9 year old has added Joker to the chat _

Joker: can confirm

Joker: stabbed in my own heart

The Sinner: thats a crime

The Sinner: I needs my minecraft

#2 Sinner: I locked yours in a safe

The Sinner: I hid yours in a tree in the forest

#2 Sinner: fuck you

The Sinner: fuck you

#3 Sinner: just

#3 Sinner: (help me out here a lil bit)

Smol Sinner: (sure lmao were probably dead now)

Smol Sinner: Just fuck each other already and call it a day

((AN: Inspired from head canon (I forgot who wrote it)))

The Sinner: You’re dead

#2 Sinner: You’re dead

#3 Sinner: that is going on your grave

Smol Sinner: thank you

Smol Sinner: I already hid

Sober: “Just fuck each other already and call it a day” -Gingerbread 2019

Sober: I’m wheezing so hard

Joker: I got the funds

Joker: So

9 year old: Oh yeah congrats on the tournament

Joker: thank you I try

End me: how much

Joker: five grand

Joker: I missed my chance at the bigger tournament bc i suck but im getting better

End me: five grand is more than my entire life

Joker: oh wow

Joker: dat a bit shad

End me: I have crippling depression

Cure of insomnia: Im surprised that you spelled that right

End me: meet me in the pit in 5 minutes

Cure of insomnia: omw

Smol Sinner: Honestly why is there so many people in rivalry

Smol Sinner: speaking on that

Smol Sinner: I already left so there is no point finding me

#2 Sinner: fuck you

Smol Sinner: save it for someone else  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sober: I CANT   


Sober: OMFG   


Smol Sinner: Moon stop wheezing you’re driving

Joker: no u

Smol Sinner: shes gonna get us crashed

Sober: rip

Sober: We should like get a cemetary or something because this is not okay

#3 Sinner: valid

Get help: Seriously, it’s been 23 hours since I last slept, and I just need a break where I awaken in hours that is not four AM. But it doesn't help that people are fucking screaming and loud footsteps can be heard seven in the morning when all you want to do is sleep. Sure, you could have muted your phone, but it is highly unlikely last night to consider that people are going to blow up your phone with notifications at seven in the fucking AM. When I got up my back literally pains and my eyes can’t open. It’s hell. Like I’ve been awakened after being asleep for about 324 years. I can’t. Right now the world is telling me to collect 7 billion people, dig a large hole, and make everyone die in a hole. Therefore I conclude my morning rant and please refrain from texting this early in the morning, you little shits.

_ Get help has muted the chat for the user: Get help for 2 hours _

9 year old: oh shit

Sober: To do list: Do not ever anger Brownie

Pissed™: Im a bit scared

Pissed™: jk im actually really scared

9 year old: @Sans Whisperer chain him up or something

Sans Whisperer: That sounds wrong

Sober: these days we all have dirty minds apparently

Sans Whisperer: that the truth

Sans Whisperer: the truth

Sober: DE TROOTH   


Pissed™: christ

Pissed™: btw I’ve gotten the numbers

Sober: oh nice

Sober: send em over

Sans Whisperer: the what

Pissed™: n u m b e r s

Sans Whisperer: f o r W H A T   


Sober: something

Sober: now scram

Sans Whisperer: I

Sans Whisperer: well

Sans Whisperer: wow

Hey Sisters: B-52.exe has stopped working

The Sinner: tragic

#2 Sinner: tragic indeed

#3 Sinner: so very tragic

Sans Whisperer: to the heavens I go

Sans Whisperer: My master will find me

Pissed™: whom

Sober: Sans

Pissed™: valid

_ Pissed™ has changed 9 year old’s name to Minecraft noob _

Minecraft noob: THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT   


Pissed™: HOW IS PARKORING A ONE BLOCK GAP IN MY BRIDGE IN SKYWARS AN ACCIDENT

Pissed™: YA FUCKING MISSED

Sober: WAIT WHAT

Kink Shaming: BRUH

Minecraft noob: I WAS PARANOID OF ARROWS

Pissed™: WHO ISNT   


Minecraft noob: AND I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE   


Pissed™: I GAVE YOU MY FUCKING SHARPNESS 3 D SWORD   


Minecraft noob: wait you did

Pissed™: 

Pissed™: This further proves my point

Pissed™: I LITERALLY DROPPED IT TO YOU 

Pissed™: ON THE S P A W N ISLAND   


Minecraft noob: god why

Pissed™: god hates us

Minecraft noob: so this is our problem now

Pissed™: yes

Minecraft noob: this is just

Minecraft noob: I

Sober: Napoleon.exe has stopped working

Kink Shaming: I think its a virus

Hey Sisters: lmao

Hey Sisters: I just scrolled up and a huge number of words hit me

Sans Whisperer: He rants in chats sometimes

Sans Whisperer: but mainly in the mornings he just screams in his room about random shit

Minecfrat noob: can confirm

Get help: I hear all of you talking shit about me?   


Minecraft noob: Hm maybe

Get help: Don’t. Or I’ll start talking stuff behind your back soon.

Minecraft noob: dont

Minecraft noob: Im sorry your majesty

Get help: You better be.

Get help: And my social interaction limit for today is now up. Now in cooldown.

Weed duck: mood

Sans Whisperer: it be like that sometimes

Weed duck: Anyone care to explain the bike in the tree

Sans Whisperer: brb Im getting it down

Sans Whisperer: its mine now

Cure of insomnia: wat no

Cure of insomnia: thats mine

Sans Whisperer: finders keepers

Cure of insomnia: do you even need a bike

Sans Whisperer: fair

Sans Whisperer: go to the front

Sans Whisperer: 1 min later im selling it on ebay

Cure of insomnia: going

Sans Whisperer: you had 27 seconds left

Cure of insomnia: I should be able to run fast when my fucking BIKE is on the line

End me: You could just buy it back from ebay

Cure of insomnia: Its not pay day and I dont have cash laying around to pay him

End me: Understandable have a nice day

Cure of insomnia: my day already sucks so thank you for the warning

End me: oh wow

Hey Sisters: mood

Sacred memeist: sudden question

Sacred memeist: who the fuck took my cake

Minecraft noob: language

Sacred memeist: Whom, in the act of sex, took the dessert which consists of Flour, Eggs, Milk and etc baked in a oven 30 minutes 320F that was suppose to be in the possetion of Galaxy Cake, also know as myself?

Minecraft noob: Oh wow

Pissed™: for once in her life she actually sounded smart

Sacred memeist: rude

Sober: my mind is twisting

Kink Shaming: same

Sober: WHAT TIME IS IT

That’s the mf tea: 8:20 AM

Sober: well yeah

Sober: BUT ITS TIME   


Pissed™: oh shit

Pissed™: AUTOBOTS ROLL OUT   


Sans Whisperer: Oh no

Get help: This is gonna end dandy.

Minecraft noob: Yep

The Sinner: does the sudden crash of doors relate to this

Smol Sinner: Perhaps

Smol Sinner: Sounds like it

Get help: Oh, it is.

Get help: And may I add that while heading over, I stumbled upon something that I should not have seen.

Sober: great now everyones tainted

Get help: Wait, what?

End me: I was the first

End me: I am changed

Cure of insomnia: oh yeah remember like 5 seconds later I came barging in after you and got scarred as well

End me: yes

End me: thrilling experience aint it

Smol Sinner: I can explain

End me: wait it was her

Get help: Still, you were literally trying to jump out the window.

Get help: There is very little to explain.

Smol Sinner: HA   


Smol Sinner: you people and your tainted minds

Smol Sinner: this boi aint getting tainted on my watch

Sober: yall gave me a heart attack

Sober: god

Get help: This feels like a wronged conversation.

Get help: I’m leaving.

Sans Whisperer: G U Y S   


Sans Whisperer: F I R E

#2 Sinner: that was me

The Sinner: surprise

Smol Sinner: the fire was always you

Sans Whisperer: I mean sometimes I did it

Sans Whisperer: but 80% of the time it was him

#2 Sinner: Bes

#3 Sinner: you be there doing some shit

#2 Sinner: I was literally running

Sans Whisperer: Running is a hazard which has a 50% chance of setting something on fire when you literally have them trailing after you

Sans Whisperer: I calculated this

#2 Sinner: oh

#2 Sinner: this is bullshit

Sober: I put it out

Sober: This is why I have to run after him every day bc if he sets shit on fire im supposed to put it out

Sans Whisperer: WELL IM SORRY BUT I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL NOW

Get help: Says the one who set their bed on fire 5 in the morning and I have to get up to your screaming and put it out.

Smol Sinner: oh DAMN   


#3 Sinner: D A M N   


Pissed™: we crowned him as the official shade thrower in our chat

Minecraft noob: can confirm

Minecraft noob: also can I change my name back

Minecraft noob: I literally just beat you up

Pissed™: sssshHHHHHHH   


Pissed™: sure whatever

Sober: You literally got beaten by the worst minecraft player in our group

Sans Whisperer: um

Sober: except you, because you literally just played minecraft for 3 hours

The Sinner: HE WHAT

The Sinner: Im using my server

Smol Sinner: YOU ARE

#3 Sinner: EVERYONE RED’S FINALLY USING HIS SERVER   


Get help: How is his server the greatest?

Smol Sinner: He has mods, texture packs, commands, and basically just a huge custom server

Smol Sinner: To give you an idea my chestplate is obsidian with protection 100

The Sinner: this shit is simple

The Sinner: plus I need to add some more stuff anyways so you guys can do your shit on it idrc

#2 Sinner: HES ADDING MORE   


#2 Sinner: Give us the ip

#2 Sinner: were joining

Sober: that sounds wicked

Sober: Ip IPiPiPIPIPIPIPIPIP   


Pissed™: thats some good shit

Get help: Sounds valid.

Get help: BUt I don’t have a computer.

Joker: I got you

Joker: I got two extra gaming sets I can give you one

Get help: You don’t need to do that?   


Joker: NAH it’s fine I only need one extra anyways

Joker: beside im already #3 on another tournament with 1200 guarantee, so I could get another one.

Get help: Oh.

Get help: Thanks.

Sans Whisperer: now hes crying

Sober: WHY?   


Sans Whisperer: Something about “never got a gift”

The Sinner: this kid needs fixing

The Sinner: asap

Get help: nah its fine

**fix the children**

**9:45 AM** **  
**

Sober: its not fine

Sober: everyone quick

Sober: I will shower him with love and affection

Smol Sinner: me too

Smol Sinner: anyone have something better to do

The Sinner:

Smol Sinner: I fucking thought so

Smol Sinner: now

Smol Sinner: today’s date. 

Smol Sinner: It is december 12?

Smol Sinner: Christmas were all gonna go to his room and giving him love and affection

Pissed™: valid

Pissed™: Im gonna ask B-52 to open the door when we get there

#3 Sinner: can we not just add him here

Pissed™: no

Pissed™: he also needs fixing

Pissed™: war flashbacks and suicidal thoughts

Pissed™: also he is uncultured

#3 Sinner: I see

#2 Sinner: thats messed up

He need some milk: the uncultured must be cultured

#2 Sinner: yes

#3 Sinner: okay sure

#3 Sinner: @everyone lets start the plottings

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**9:47 AM**

Sans Whisperer: but in china 1+1 is 10

Get help: Well, we’re not in there currently.

Sans Whisperer: 1+1 is clearly NOT 2

Get help: According to math, yes.

Get help: Otherwise, according to theory, 1+1 is actually like…

Get help: Hm.

Sans Whisperer: I’m searching it up

Sans Whisperer: It says 2 but im not buying it

Get help: What if it is?   


Sans Whisperer: well then im still right

Sans Whisperer: because i said so

Get help: Your opinions is not a valid source.

Sans Whisperer: oh wow

Sans Whisperer: okay look at this 

Sans Whisperer: this shows 1+1 is 10

Get help: Alright.

 

**fix the children**

**9:54 AM**

#3 Sinner: okay its down

#3 Sinner: we just need to execute the plan

#2 Sinner: its that simple

#3 Sinner: yes

Sacred memeist: So the two children are having an argument in the group chat what 1+1 equals to

Sacred memeist: Im just going to watch

Weed duck: it looks interesting

#3 Sinner: lets just see what they do without anyone else

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**10:00 AM**

Get help: Some windows don’t have a cross in the middle, such as those really big ones.

Sans Whisperer: when 5 year olds draw windows its like that

Get help: You’re not five.

Sans Whisperer: WELL YOU GET THE IDEA   


Sans Whisperer: a window

Sans Whisperer: honestly its just everything but 2

Get help: Math.

Sans Whisperer: I dont trust maths

Sans Whisperer: they fry my brain

Get help: Understandable, have a nice day.

Sans Whisperer: wow I got memed on

Get help: You know I be like that sometimes.

Sans Whisperer: so an article is about something called a “furry”

Sans Whisperer: what is that

Get help: I don’t know what a “furry” is.

Get help: Should we search it up?

 

**fix the children**

**10:05 AM**

Sacred memeist: ABORT ABORT   


Sacred memeist: QUICK SOMEONE STOP THEM

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**10:06 AM**

Sans Whisperer: sure 

The Sinner: Don’t.

Sans Whisperer: oh god you scared me

Get help: Why not?

The Sinner: It’s just.

The Sinner: No.

The Sinner: It’s too cursed for your eyes.

Sans Whisperer: covered in fur

Sans Whisperer: thats what it means

Sans Whisperer: an animal with a human characteristic

Get help: That’s what a “furry” is?

Sans Whisperer: appears so

Sans Whisperer: imma see the images

Sans Whisperer: okay sojegseklhkelsjhgslieo

Get help: Um.

Get help: Did you get attacked?

Sans Whisperer: This is Vodka, do not search up furries, ever, and if you ever see it you will get cursed for life.

Get help: Okay. 

Sans Whisperer: vodka just came from nowhere and tackled me

Sans Whisperer: oh

Sans Whisperer: good to know

Get help: Totally did not just delete my search history.

Sober: BROWNIE NO   


Get help: Alright fine, I didn’t search it up.

Get help: It’s typed out on my keyboard.

Sans Whisperer: owo wats dis

Get help: OwO?

Sober: where the fuck did youlearn that

Sans Whisperer: the internet

Get help: I don’t know what that is.

Get help: Oh.

Get help: Well okay.

Sober: ah great hes tainted even more

Get help: Where’s everyone else?

Get help: Isn’t this a group chat?

Sober: idk

Sober: oops i have to do something

Sans Whisperer: b y e

Get help: I have Never gonna give you up on loop currently.

Sans Whisperer: you are rick rolling yourself

Get help: I like the song.

Sans Whisperer: So thats why there were rick rolling in our direction

Get help: I’m sure I’m the only one playing the song.

Sans Whisperer: Welp you did rick roll yourself

Get help: I am aware of that.

Sans Whisperer: Im going to approach slowly

Get help: Good luck.

 

**fix the kids**

**10:10 AM**

Sober: the source of the rick roll is found

Sacred memeist: of all people

Roblox phase: if we didnt switch it would be me who is suffering

Pissed™: do I hear rick roll

Roblox phase: I hate you so much

Pissed™: rekt

Sacred memeist: did you play rick roll

Pissed™: you bet

Pissed™: we have 2 rick rolls going off

Roblox phase: this is torture

Pissed™: then suffer

The Sinner: give me a second

#2 Sinner: I turned the bluetooth off of my speaker

The Sinner: fuck

The Sinner: never mind

Kink Shaming: I have mine on

#2 Sinner: turn it off

Kink Shaming: no

#2 Sinner: please

#2 Sinner: I dont want to suffer

Kink Shaming: were suffering together

#2 Sinner: OH MY GOD   


The Sinner: its done

He need some milk: the rick roll counter is at 3

Sober: I just

Sober: this needs counseling

Sober: hold up

Roblox Phase: what needs

 

**this house is a fucking mess**

Sober: @Get help @ Sans Whisperer

Sober: Explain.

Sans Whisperer: it looked good

Get help: I needed it.

Sober: More.

Roblox Phase: Whats happening

Sober: the little shits just dumped two bottles of 5hr energy in 100% coffee and downed it 

Get help: For the record, I had two and a half.

Sober: FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN

Kink Shaming: Excuse me, they did WHAT?   


That’s the mf tea: the grammar has been released

That’s the mf tea: What happened

Sober: @everyone scroll up

Weed duck: the fuck

That’s the mf tea: I um

That’s the mf tea: wow

Sans Whisperer: I used some sugar

Sans Whisperer: so sorry

Pissed™: Was about to use that but okay

Pissed™: Also yall are wimps I did a gallon with 4 bottles yesterday

Sober:

Sober: Tf is wrong with my companions

Sacred memeist: everything

Sacred memeist: I watched him do it

Pissed™: yeah she was there

Pissed™: it was 2 am though

Pissed™: the effects still haunt me to this day

Joker: I thought i was the only one that did that

Joker: I guess i was wrong

Joker: WELL SHIT I GUESS   
  


**(Meanwhile)**

 

**Hi my names jared and i never learned how to learn**

**10:34 AM**

Edgelord: help guys i just ran into my twin brother that i havent seen in 3 months and i dont wanna socialize

blease: you had a brother?


	15. the long ass update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im slowly suffering so i have nothing bwtter to do so i rant in here   
> whats new yall

Edgelord: Well yeah

Edgelord: Im older though

Karen: oh yeah the elder privileges

blease: perish

I feast on ur tears: And I thought I wasn’t the only only child

I feast on ur tears: Guess I was wrong

Edgelord: im going to add him here

_ Edgelord has added likewise to the chat _

likewise: BUT THE FUCKING DUCK DIDNT REACT TO THE OFFERING THAT I SPENT 30 MINUTES ON LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU UNGREATFUL PIECE OF SHIT   


likewise: wats this

Edgelord: jesus christ

Edgelord: you lil shit

Edgelord: Kylo mom is disappointed in you

likewise: IM SOrRY ya should have give me a warning

blease: you are valid

likewise: thank you

blease: also we never knew you existed?

likewise: wow thanks

Edgelord: if I told them they wouldnt have believed it

Edgelord: we look nothing alike

likewise: I suppose

Karen: Wait really?

likewise:  _ photo _

I feast on ur tears: Oh wow

I feast on ur tears: You guys are the literal opposite

I feast on ur tears: Good to know im not the only one with white hair

likewise: oh really

likewise: also this kid does have black hair he just makes it blond every so often to stir things up and complain about how it dosent look edge when his natural hair already looks cool 

Edgelord: wow

Edgelord: stabbed in the back

likewise: you do realise I have the most dirt on you since we lived together for almost our entire lives

Edgelord: I swear to god

likewise: you used to believe that the 4 leaf clover marshmallow in lucky charms was the reincarnation of god

likewise: you also prayed to it every day

blease: screenshotted and saved

I feast on ur tears: quoted and forwarded

Karen: umm idk 

Karen: have it in my mental mind now

Edgelord: Im coming

likewise: shit

blease: im done wheezing

blease: okay okay

blease: were all crashing Kei’s house

Edgelord: what no

I feast on ur tears: omw

Karen: omw

 

**Mental Hospital**

**4:34 PM**

Sober: what do I do when I saw someone looking exactly the same as me but the eagle is less majestic?

Sans Whisperer: report of copyright

Sacred memeist: yeet her

Get help: Tell her: No U.

Kink Shaming: damn

Kink Shaming: slide under her and flash the u looked sign

Sober: alright

Sober: and it is all done!

Sans Whisperer: congrats

**Karen took the fucking kids**

**9:56 AM** **  
  
**

Zombie Barbie: Incorrect

Sans Whisperer: And what would be your reasoning?

Zombie Barbie: I think that it would be most unwise if we just taped them shut. It can be cut through easily with a scissor with a knife.

Sans Whisperer: I See.

Soup Kitchen: fucks going on

The bears are coming: Dont ask

The bears are coming: let the children do what they wish

Soup kitchen: fair

The fucking doctors: I want a raise

The bears are coming: we’ve been over this

Plural: I also want a raise

Soup kitchen: this also has been discussed

Sans Whisperer: wait @Plural @The bears are coming I dont get you guys users?

Plural: My name is plural while there is one of me

The bears are coming: The origin of Somebody toucha my sphaghet meme

Sans Whisperer: I see the light

Sans Whisperer: I understand now the equation has been revealed

Soup kitchen: jfc

Soup kitchen: chill

Sans Whisperer: sure

The fucking doctors: my mind is still wrapping around the fact that you two are friends now

Sans Whisperer: we just decided: fuck it and started over

The bears are coming: the fresh wounds are fixed

Sans Whisperer: the crops are watered

The bears are coming: the land is nourished

Soup kitchen: we get it

Plural: Hi may I get some fresh wounds with salt

Zombie Barbie: Oh yes of course will you have it with an axe or an axe?

Plural: an axe please

Zombie Barbie: Okay and what would be the brand of salt used?

Plural: the salitest

Zombie Barbie: Yes sir

Zombie Barbie: Now I only do beheading wounds at this establishment

Plural: that can do

Zombie Barbie: Alright Im coming

Plural: Wait what

Plural: I suddenly heard rapping on the windows

The bears are coming: run for your life

Plural: I forgot to get a back door

Soup kitchen: you WHAT   


The fucking doctors: do you need help

Plural: Yes

The fucking doctors: alright

Sans Whisperer: where do you guys live right now

The bears are coming: Europe

Sans Whisperer: thats halfway across the globe

Sans Whisperer: What are you doing there

Plural: It felt like the need

Zombie Barbie: Yes

The fucking doctors: tell him the truth

Plural: I will do the honors

The bears are coming: NO

Plural: We got a bit broke when Spaghetti and Borscht brought 5000 bags of doritos and 3000 bottles of mtn dew

Soup kitchen: We wanted an epic gamer moment

The bears are coming: Yes

The bears are coming: the most epic

The fucking doctors: I want a raise

The bears are coming: Do you have amnesia or something

The fucking doctors: Yes

Soup kitchen: Cure yourself

The fucking doctors: none of us here provide heals

The fucking doctors: I am the pain doctor

The fucking docotrs: an apple a day attracts the pain doctor everyday

Zombie Barbie: valid

Zombie Barbie: Hm

Zombie Barbie: @Sans Whisperer do you know anyone

Sans Whisperer: Yes

Sans Whisperer: But youre in Europe

Sans Whisperer: Wait lemme check

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**9:46 AM**

Sans Whisperer: Anyone of you here knows how to cure amnesia

He need some milk: Uhhh yes

Sans Whisperer: Black Pudding has amnesia

Sans Whisperer: But they are at Europe

The Sinner: Why did they go there

Sans Whisperer:  _ screenshot _

Sans Whisperer: context

The Sinner: I want to see all those gamer foodz

The Sinner: I really do

#2 Sinner: same

Smol Sinner: I hear gamer food

Smol Sinner: oh wow

Sober: Yes the gamers

Sober: Honestly its great that yall are friends now

Sans Whisperer: yes

Sans Whisperer: I am getting a share of the gamer food

Sober: fork it over when you get it

Sans Whisperer: okay

He need some milk: Just checked that Im going to Europe anyways for a trip in like idk a week

He need some milk: so

Sans Whisperer: okay im gonna tell them

 

**Karen took the fucking kids**

**9:56 AM**

Sans Whisperer: are you going to be holding up for one week

The fucking doctors: HM AM I   


The bears are coming: and it is time for us to calmly back away

Zombie Barbie: precautions must be considered

Soup kitchen: get the escape horseless carriage ready

Plural: Copy that

Sans Whisperer: honestly all of you have a way bigger vocabulary than me

The bears are coming: oh really

The bears are coming: this is how we normally talk

Sans Whisperer: Well okay

Sans Whisperer: go on

Plural: the preparation is complete

Plural: get your asses over here

Sans Whisperer: you guys have fun

The bears are coming: wish us luck

Sans Whisperer: Hope you get away from her

The fucking doctors: Hi yes I am here

Zombie Barbie: shit I can see her from my window

Zombie Barbie: drive it to the ceiling

The bears are coming: Borscht

Soup kitchen: got it

Sans Whisperer: wait you can drive a car to the ceiling

Soup kitchen: years of practice

 

**(Meanwhile)**

 

**Hi my names jared 19 and i never learned how to learn**

**10:43 AM**

_ ((AN: True event, prepare for chaos)) _

**  
** likewise: ALL OF YOU HERE NOW HAVE DE SUC

Edgelord: SHIT DE SUC

blease: SUC   


likewise: SUCCCCCCCCCCCCC   


Edgelord: CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC   


Karen: um

blease: MOON WALK YES

likewise: YES   


Edgelord: YYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSS

blease: OH YUES   


I feast on ur tears: .

blease: Y E S   


Edgelord: Y      E S S S S S S S     S S S S 

likewise: OOPS THE TItLE

likewise: YOU WANT SOME   


likewise: M E M E S   


Edgelord: WHOLESOME

blease: THE FUCKING ABYSS WILL CONSUME YOU

blease: B

Edgelord: BBBBBBBBB

likewise: BBBBBBBBBBBBB)

blease: HELP ME HELP U   


Karen: time to take my leave

I feast on ur tears: Yep same here

likewise: HEE HEE HEE   


Edgelord: AHEE HEE HEE

blease: AHEEE AHEEE AHEEEEEEEE

Edgelord: I LIKE EM BIG   


likewise: I LIKE EM CHUNKY

blease: MICHAEL JACKSON

likewise: B

Edgelord: MOON WALK YES   


blease: HOTEL?   


Edgelord: TRIVAGO.

likewise: HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI   


Edgelord: ITS EVERYDAY BRO

blease: WITH THAT D I S N E Y CHANNEL FLOW   


likewise: ONCE THERE WERE THREE PORKS SSSSSSSAUSAGES   


blease: THE MOST GRANDPA LIKE ONE LIVED IN DE STAW HOSE   


Edgelord: THE MOST MIDDLE AGED VAPIST ONE LIVED IN DE STIX HOSE   


likewise: THE MOST 9 YEAR OLD FORTNITE TOXIC PLAYER ONE LIVED IN DE BRIK HOSE   


likewise: ONE DAHY DE FAT OH NOES WOLFFFFF CAME TO DEM HOSEESESES   


blease: DE OH NOES WOLFFFFF CAME TO DE GRANDPA SAUSAGES STAW DOR   


Edgelord: HE NOC ON DOR   


Edgelord: GRANDPA SAID NO U   


blease: HE BLEW DEM TOXIK FUMS ONTO DE STAW HOSE BC HE NO BUSH TETH IN 69 YERS   


likewise: HOSE MELT OH NOES   


likewise: DE OH NOES WOLFFFF AT   E DE GRANDPA PORK SAUSEGE   


likewise: HE GO TO MIDDLE AGED VAPIST PORK S A U SGE HOSE   


blease: HE NOC ON DOR   


Edgelord: SAUSAGE TEL HIM NO U

blease: HE MAD OH NOES   


blease: HE MELT STIX WITH TOXIK BRETH

likewise: HE ATE SA U SA A GEEEE

blease: AND HE WENT TO 9 YEAR OLD FORTNITE TOXIK PLAYER HOSE

blease: HE NOC ON DOR   


likewise: THE FORTNIT PLAYER SEZ U EAT ME BURDDAS U WILL PAYE   


Edgelord: HE MADE HIM LOOK AT OK SIGN UNDER HE W A I S     T   


Edgelord: DE OH NOES WOLFFFFF CAN NAWT HANDEL DE EPIKNESS AND HE DED

blease: THE 9 YEAR OLD SAUSAGE DEFAULT DANCED OVER HE DED BODI

blease: DEN HE SENT DE OH NOES WOLFFFF DED BODY TO DE RANCH   


blease: DE ENDE   


likewise: YES   


Edgelord: Y E S   


blease: YYY EEEE  S S S S S S S S SS S  S S S S S S S S SS

Karen: This batch of people needs the mental hospital.

I feast on ur tears: I agree.

blease: BEGONE THOUGHT   


Edgelord: AHEE HEEE HEEEEEEE   


likewise: HEE HEE HEEEE

 

**mothman com an kill u**

**3:00 AM**

dead inside: oh my god

dead inside: I REALIZED IT

Cold Coco: What

dead inside: paper is pixels

dead inside: look closely

Lesbianb #1: OH MY GOD   


Peacekeeper Monika: This is

Cold Coco: I got a papercut

Cold Coco: thanks I hate it

Lesbianb #2: you are actually right

dead inside: yeah

dead inside: wait

dead inside: how bad is the papercut

Cold Coco: 1 inch

Lesbianb #1: OH SHIT   


Peacekeeper Monika: Im coming over

Cold Coco: THANK 

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**11:23 AM**

Pissed™: @everyone

Roblox phase: what

Sans Whisperer: what

Pissed™: I got the email.

The Sinner: OH SHIT   


#2 Sinner: NOT THE EMAIL   


Smol Sinner: @everyone @everyone @everyone HE HAS THE FUCKING EMAIL   


He need some milk: I graduated

He need some milk: please make a seperate chat for your school stuff

Weed duck: second that

Weed aunt: thirded

 

**Skool sux lmaoooo**

**11:24 AM**

_ Smol Sinner has added #2 Sinner, The Sinner, Sans Whisperer and  7 more _

Smol Sinner: THE EMAIL IS HERE @everyone

Salt Pillar: OH SHIT

sWee(d)t: OH SHIT   


Roblox phase: CODE RED CODE RED   


Get help: Oh, the email.

Get help: Okay.

Sans Whisperer: like that one calm person during like everything

Sans Whisperer: BUT THE EMAIL

#2 Sinner: @The Sinner final year in hell

The Sinner: yes

The Sinner: the abyss is welcoming me

Pissed™: stop

Pissed™: But HEY WHO IS READY TO FAIL   


#3 Sinner: Not me

fuck off im playing minecraft: bring out the folder

#3 Sinner: yes sir

The Sinner: who

fuck off im playing minecraft: I changed my name

The Sinner: oh

Pissed™: How do you guys communicate

Smol Sinner: we just do

#3 Sinner: found it

fuck off im playing minecraft: good you didnt lost it

fuck off im playing minecraft: I spent the whole summer writing it

Sans Whisperer: what is it

fuck off im playing minecraft: a collection of excuses how to skip school cheat etc

#3 Sinner: its actually really well thought out

#3 Sinner: look

#3 Sinner:  _ picture _

#3 Sinner: thats like 1 out of 400

#2 Sinner: “I didn't do my project because I was not over the breakup of me and my roblox girlfriend”

#2 Sinner: Im dying

Pissed™: “I was stripped of my cash so I spent a week earning it back, therefore nothing got done.”

Pissed™: Oh wow

Sans Whisperer: 

#3 Sinner:  _ picture _

fuck off im playing minecraft: stop exposing me

Get help: Is that a whole picture on how to forge signatures?

#3 Sinner: 1 out of 12

fuck off im playing minecraft: shit i forgot Brownie’s here

Get help: Just use it reasonably.

fuck off im playing minecraft: i breathed again

Sans Whisperer: LEt me see the picture proof of the e m a i l

Pissed™:  _ Image _

The Sinner: My fear

#2 Sinner: Its confirmed

#3 Sinner: MMMMMMM SHIT   


fuck off im playing minecraft: ah great

Salt Pillar: Okay

sWee(d)t: Okay

Salt Pillar: So we have

sWee(d)t: something to say to @Sans Whisperer and @Get help

Get help: What?

Sans Whisperer: wut

sWee(d)t: Since you guys are youngest in this GC   


Salt Pillar:  _ Yearbook quotes _

Smol Sinner: its that time for them huh

sWee(d)t: Yes

Sans Whisperer: Is this good

Sans Whisperer: “It is that time of the year when I choose quotes, and I choose this.”   


Salt Pillar: thats a new one

Get help: “If you are reading this, just know that I have the circle game going under this picture.”   


Smol Sinner: I   


The Sinner: JESUS CHRIST   


#3 Sinner: brutal

Pissed™: absolutely savage

Roblox phase: amazing

Salt Pillar: dayum

Get help: I just thought of it, so I didn’t expect it to go through you guys’ opinion.

sWee(d)t: its great

 

**Karen took the fucking kids**

**12:34 AM**

The bears are coming: Oh yes the juul

Sans Whisperer: the what

Soup kitchen: it is the vaping hour

Zombie Barbie: 1234

The fucking doctor: how I wish there was a 5678

Plural: or 91011

Plural: The weed hour is 420

Plural: but the VAPE hour in this household is 1234

Zombie Barbie: I am here

Zombie Barbie: Let us begin

Sans Whisperer: I will leave you guys to the vaping hour

The bears are coming: Thank you

Sans Whisperer: You are welcome

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**12:35 AM**

Sans Whisperer: Apparently the vaping hour is 1234 and I was deserted

Get help: A shame.

Weed duck: WAIT WHAT   


Weed duck: @Weed aunt @Weed aunt

Weed aunt: Oh shit

Weed aunt: And fuck we missed it

Weed duck: write it down in the agenda

Weed aunt: yes sir

Sober: Apparently the author still thinks that drugs are comedy

Kink Shaming: FOURTH WALL   


Kink Shaming: But yes.

Sober: I have the ability I use it

Sober: bitch

Kink Shaming: Oh

Kink Shaming: Well im still going to stop you

Roblox phase: The universe

Pissed™: Its falling

Roblox phase: save it

Pissed™: oh shit the purple minions

Pissed™: beautiful

Roblox phase: beautiful

Sacred memeist: absuloutly magnifecent

Pissed™: spell

Sacred memeist: no

Sacred memeist: spell is not in my vocabulry

Pissed™: OH MY GOD   


Pissed™: Thats it im coming over to turn on autocorrect

Sacred memeist: OKAY OKAY I TRY   


Pissed™: not good enough

Pissed™: But Ill take it

 

**bloody murder**

**1:25 AM**

Weed: Nice

10/10 would not recommend: my senses

10/10 would not recommend:  _ they are tingling _

Kink Shaming: Stop, drop, and die.

duck bitch: thats new

drunk aunt: it is

duck bitch: I just realized

duck bitch: @Weed the 4/20 4:20 picture was actually 4:20:59

Weed: omg

Weed: my heart

Weed: if only time were based on 70 instead of 60

drunk aunt: you are NOT getting 4:20:69

Kink Shaming: But if we wait a few years

Kink Shaming: 4/20/69 is possible

Weed: 50 fucking years

Weed: I want it  _ now _

10/10 would not recommend: no shit

10/10 would not recommend: if I live til that time

10/10 would not recommend: new years before that I will fucking get a megaphone and scream “HAPPY 69 YEAR”

duck bitch: take me with you

drunk aunt: but the author will be

drunk aunt: omg

drunk aunt: the author will be 69 in 2069

Kink Shaming: as much as I want to scream at you for breaking the wall

Kink Shaming: HOLY GOD JESUS CHRIST LORD   


10/10 would not recommend: congratulations 

Weed: dramatic clapping

Weed: NOW MEND THE WALL   
  


**Sleep? Who she?**

**2:32 AM** **  
**

Pissed™: If pinocchio says: My nose will grow, will his nose grow or not?

Sober: please not now

Salt Pillar: @everyone THINK   


Salt PIllar: Wait so if his nose dont grow its a lie so it gotta grow but if it grows its a truth

Sans Whisperer: yeah

Sans Whisperer: lemme do some research

Sober: love how B-52 is the only one in this household that does research

Sober: anyways

Cure of insomnia: wait does it count as grown if like his nose grown for 1 second and shrank back to its original form under a second

Pissed™: hm maybe

Pissed™: i dont know for sure though

Sober: but wont that means he spoke the truth?   


Cure of insomnia: Maybe like it started growing but then his wood systems kicked in like oh wait im telling the truth and it shrank back instantly

Salt Pillar: LMAO 

Sans Whisperer: Okay.

Sober: Oh god that typing symbol has been there for a while

Sans Whisperer: This question is actually fairly easy. The statement is “My nose will grow.” It did not list any time frames, example being “My nose will grow in 5 minutes.” But that is still too vague. It did not state when the time frame will begin, which means it can start to grow 3 years later when he tells a true lie. Just to add, if his nose did not grown, then the statement is false. False does not mean that something is a lie. Therefore this question, seems impossible, is not. Could be seen as a paradox, but a paradox is neither true nor false.

Sober: S T O P WITH THE LOGIC   


Pissed™: sure

Pissed™: I mean it IS 2 am

Salt Pillar: Time to throw myself off the fucking window

Cure of insomnia: this aint it

Cure of insomnia: Commit neck rope

Sans Whisperer: I made sense

Sober: no

Sober: no

Sober: no

Pissed™: STOP

Sober: no

Sober: o

Sober:

Pissed™: alright children

Pissed™: regarding the email

Sober: oh shit

Cure of insomnia: good luck to all I barely survived

Sober: same

Sober: want some knowledge

Sans Whisperer: yes

Salt Pillar: yes

Pissed™: would be most prefered

Sober: upstairs

Cure of insomnia: OH YES UPSTAIRS   


Sober: we have a secret lair with gamer food xbox the good shit

Cure of insomnia: Chocolate led the construction

Sober: I was in charge of the cheat sheets room

Sober: im not creative so theres not a lot

Pissed™: hamburger sent me a copy of his 400 page analysis on cheating and excuses

Pissed™: I shall provide the documents into the section

Sans Whisperer: I shall provide more gamer food when Spaghetti sends me my share

Salt Pillar: I already did my part

Cure of insomnia: right the wifi was you

Salt Pillar: yes I made biggest sacrifice

Salt Pillar: lmao

Sans Whisperer: praise

Pissed™: praise

Sober: also humans cant find it

Sober: so yall are gucci

Pissed™: yes

Sans Whisperer: yes

Salt Pillar: the wifi password is SkeetYeet420

Sans Whisperer: lemme write that down

Pissed™: send me a copy

Sans Whisperer: sure

Sans Whisperer: alert the group chat

 

**Skool sux lmao**

**3:12 AM** **  
**

Pissed™: I dont give a fuck that its 3 am but skool upstairs is our lair with unblocked wifi gamer food and xbox. The wifi password is SkeetYeet420 and humans can not see that room just make sure you were not seen while going. Okay bye

 

**Sleep? Who she?**

**3:13 AM** **  
**

Pissed™: done

Sans Whisperer: nice

Sans Whisperer: Perfectly balanced as all things should be

Sober: is everyone I know slowly becoming infused with memes

Sans Whisperer: Yes

Pissed™: yes

Sober: how nice

Pissed™: I blame napoleon and galaxy

Sans Whisperer: I mean 70% of the time it is them

Sans Whisperer: so Im going to say you are right

Sans Whisperer: are we the only three awake rn

Sober: the other two actually managed to go to bed

Sober: So yes

Pissed™: let me do something

 

**Mental Hospital**

**3:20 AM**

Roblox phase: @Pissed™ I strongly dislike you

Pissed™: I thought hate is the proper word

Sacred memeist: Its 3 am

Sacred memeist: yell at him in your private chats

Pissed™: we dont have each others numbers

Sober: you are telling me that you two moved in the same fucking apartment and its been a month, you still dont have each others numbers?

Sober: I thought ONE of you would ask the other

Pissed™: Just dont spam me with memes

 

**Pissed™ >>> Roblox phase**

I mean what I say

Yeah I think you also mean it too

 

**Roblox phase >>> Sacred memeist**

Shit now I have his phone number

Congradulations

Spell

Not the time

but hey finally

I suppose

NOW SLEEP

mmmmmmmhmmmmm

 

**Sleep? Who she?**

**3:30 AM**

_ Sans Whisperer has added Get help to the chat _

Get help: So this is the chat that goes on in the night.

Sober: shit its him

Sober: I mean dont you need to go to bed

Get help: I mean, the aftereffects are still there.

Pissed™: yes

Cure of insomnia: Ive suffered enough

Cure of insomnia: Brownie did you know that we all might be scared of you

Get help: No?

Salt Pillar: Yes

Salt Pillar: very

Sans Whisperer: I mean sometimes

Sans Whisperer: not all the time

Get help: Yeah, I can understand.

Get help: Sometimes I just doesn't want to do anything.

Pissed™: bruh i just want to sit there and be brain dead

Cure of insomnia: mood

 

**Karen took the fucking kids**

**3:45 AM** **  
**

The bears are coming: shit

The bears are coming: sudden awakening

Sans Whisperer: thats nice

The bears are coming: ikr

The bears are coming: Such nice

Sans Whisperer: Im having a night conversation with some people

The bears are coming: Let me in

Sans Whisperer: sure

 

**Sleep? Who she?**

**3:47 AM**

Pissed™: but you are supposed to cut it in half

Get help: If it’s in half, the left side’s going to snap.

Sober: oh yeah

_ Sans Whisperer has added The bears are coming to the chat _

The bears are coming: NO YUOU AR ENOT USING 56 ROL LS OF WAXED TOIOLET PAPER   


The bears are coming: oops wrong chat

Sans Whisperer: I will pretend i didnt see that

The bears are coming: good idea

Sober: whomst

The bears are coming: spaghet

Sober: oh yes the legend himself

Pissed™: yep

Get help: Oh. Hello.

Sans Whisperer: hello my good friend

Sans Whisperer: question

Sans Whisperer: has Borscht found her airplane

Pissed™: the fuck

The bears are coming: we pinpointed the location

The bears are coming: it is currently somewhere in russia

Pissed™: the FUCK   


Sober: wow um okay

The bears are coming: Oysters and Black Pudding is going tomorrow to get it back

The bears are coming: bc they want to fly it over ny

Sober: oh nice   


Sober: will we see them

The bears are coming: if it is a plane with a banner behind it saying “Commit die” then yes that is them

Pissed™: oh dayum

Get help: Nice.

Get help: Very creative way to send death threats.

The bears are coming: yes

The bears are coming: im smart

Sans Whisperer: I must say that you kind of are

Sans Whisperer: Flawless plans

The bears are coming: highest iq out there

Sans Whisperer: perhaps

The bears are coming: perhaps is not assuring but okay

Pissed™: fun fact

Pissed™: dab is a legit drug

Sober: YES 

Sober: it is confirmed

Sober: dab is a drug

Get help: Oh yeah, it is.

The bears are coming: shit

The bears are coming: wait

Sans Whisperer: let me check the chat

Sans Whisperer: oh

Sans Whisperer: Star rick rolled all of them

Sober: they are not functioning

Sober: I love it

Get help: Sounds like us.

Pissed™: yes

 

**Mental Hospital**

**8:12 AM** **  
**

Get help: I regret staying up.

Get help: My eyes can barely open.

Pissed™: mood

Pissed™: but not as hard

Get help: I’m going to pasdsdfhhg;dsf

Sober: i hear a crash up top is everything okay

Sober: oh

Sans Whisperer: yeah he just fell off his chair

Sans Whisperer: Ill just get him to bed

Sober: owo okie

Pissed™: its time to stop

Roblox phase: second that

Sacred memeist: owo uwu

Pissed™: its TIME TO FUCKING StOP   


Sober: I dont want to die today, so im gonna stop

Sacred memeist: same

Pissed™: A wise decision.

Sober: it was at this moment that I decided its time to run

Pissed™: are you serious

Roblox phase: rekt

Roblox phase: I locked him in

Sober: thank

Sacred memeist: you

Pissed™: hold up

Roblox phase: I dont like the sound of that

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**8:20 AM** **  
**

Smol Sinner: @Pissed™ did you just jump out the window

Pissed™: Yes

Sober: OH SHIt

Sacred memeist: ARE YOU SERIOUS   


Smol Sinner: yes can do

Sacred memeist: time to go

Pissed™: fuck

Pissed™: I think I broke something

Smol Sinner: fun fact: jumping from the fourth floor window has a 99% chance of breaking something

Smol Sinner: someone give him medication

Roblox phase: please

Roblox phase: why cant we be normal

Monika: Normal is not applied to this household

Monika: Im coming

Pissed™: thank

Pissed™: praise thy lord

Pissed™: napoleon shutthe fuck up

Sober: Is he taunting you from the window

Pissed™: yes

Pissed™: I see you

Monika: good

Smol Sinner: while that is taking care of

Smol Sinner: Hey @#3 Sinner press the button

#3 Sinner: yes

#2 Sinner: oh god please no

The Sinner: im leaving

#2 Sinner: same

Weed duck: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST   


Weed duck: CAN YOU NOT   


Weed aunt: The first thing I hear in the morning is unexpectedly earrape All Star

Weed aunt: great way to start the morning

Weed aunt: hahahahaahahahahaah

Weed duck: the enthusiasm is real  

Weed aunt: ikr

Kink Shaming: its the first thing in the morning

Kink Shaming: what do you expect

Weed duck: jfc you scared me

Weed duck: people needs to stop popping out of nowhere

Get help: The lyrics are quite disoriented. 

Sans Whisperer: cuz its earrape

Get help: Is that a type of music?   


Roblox phase: in a way yes

Get help: Alright.

Get help: Let me search it up.

Roblox phase: great 

Roblox phase: more murder

Sans Whisperer: let me eat my shit in peace

Sans Whisperer: please 

Weed duck: no that will not happen

Sans Whisperer: oh good it stopped

Get help: I need a doctor.

Get help: That was from my headphones.

Sans Whisperer: oh

Sans Whisperer: But I heard it in full blast

Get help: That’s the problem.

Get help: There’s a ringing sound in my ear.

He need some milk: why is it always you guys getting injured

Sober: yeah 

Sober: is there like something wrong with my friend group

Roblox phase: I mean

Sacred memeist: we totally 

Roblox phase: DID NOT   


Sacred memeist: accidently set off a firecracker in my room.

sWee(d)t: THATS what it was

Sober: I WANT TO BE SURROUNDED BY NORMAL PEOPLE   


Sans Whisperer: mood

Sober: says the one that got stuck in a tree last week

Sans Whisperer: stop exposing people

Sans Whisperer: my wounds hurt

Sober: suffer

Sans Whisperer: WOW   


Hey sisters: so just an update

Hey sisters: the three of them got into some cult activity and I dont want to get involved

Sober: this further proves my point

Sober: spice you are the most normal out of everyone

Sober: but sometimes youre weird

Hey sisters: i dont know whether to thank you or kill you

Sober: neither is good

Hey sister: yes

Get help: The ringing.

Get help: IT’S STILL THERE.

Sober: shit he used caps

Sober: medication

Sober: now

Sober: im coming

Get help: Thank you.

 

**9:00 AM**

Monika: Just gonna say good job

Pissed™: shut

Smol Sinner: was my calculation correct

Monika: yes

Pissed™: I hate my life decisions

Monika: well at least you cant do more bullshit 

Pissed™: I hate life

Monika: dont we all

That’s the mf tea: what happened

Monika: he broke his leg

Monika: cant move for 2 weeks lmao

Pissed™: this is pain and suffering

Pissed™: pain

Pissed™: suffering

That’s the mf tea: think about what you have done

Pissed™: sure whatevs

Roblox phase: nice I can raid the kitchen

Pissed™: dont even think about it

Pissed™: I have my ways

Roblox phase: duly noted

Pissed™: mk

Get help: The ringing has gotten better.

Monika: jesus what happened

Sans Whisperer: He blasted earrape from his headphones

Sans Whisperer: I can hear it from my room

Sans Whisperer: it was really loud

Monika: get over here

Get help: Alright.

Sacred memeist: @Roblox phase get back here

Sacred memeist: you are helping me clean my room

Roblox phase: you were the one that lit the fuse

Sacred memeist you were the one that brought firecrackers in the first place

Roblox phase: touche

Roblox phase: im coming

Sacred memeist: thank you

Sacred memeist: after its cleaned up we can continue building our minecraft house

Roblox phase: oh yes

 

**Karen took the fucking kids**

**9:12 AM**

Soup kitchen: how are you dealing with your tragic awakening

The bears are coming: bad

The bears are coming: I want to die

Zombie Barbie: dont we all

The fucking doctors: you already look dead

Zombie Barbie: true

Zombie Barbie: but rude

The fucking doctors: thats new

Plural: its 2019 everything is new

Soup kitchen: AND I OOP-

_ The bears are coming has muted Soup kitchen _

The bears are coming: no

The bears are coming: I will personally come and murder you

The bears are coming: understand

Plural: Yes sir.

Plural: She stole my phone

Plural: Yes I did

_ The bears are coming has unmuted Soup kitchen _

Soup kitchen: christ 

Soup kitchen: you need to chill

The fucking doctors: are any of us ever chill

Soup kitchen: true

Plural: I want a raise

The bears are coming: ITS TIME TO STOP   


Plural: lolololol

Soup kitchen: I heard him scream that

Soup kitchen: lmao

Sans Whisperer: how close in proximity are all of you from each other?   


Soup kitchen: same house

Soup kitchen: just diff rooms

Zombie Barbie: Yes

Soup kitchen: I still hate you for taking the master bedroom

Zombie Barbie: sucks to suck

Zombie Barbie: hahahahahahahaahahahahahaha

Sans Whisperer: oof

Plural: you literally yeeted yourself to there and threatened us to begone when we got it

Zombie Barbie: it is necessary

The fucking doctors: it actually is when it comes to her

Soup kitchen: can confirm

Sans Whisperer: for once I have not gotten so glad that I am allowed to pick my own room without a fight

Soup kitchen: its a full duel in this house

Plural: yes

Plural: remember last time you four fought over the last bottle of booze

The fucking doctors: OH YES

The bears are coming: OFC   


Soup kitchen: bet yo ass i do

Zombie Barbie: Yes.

Sans Whisperer: Love how star just replies with a “yes”

Zombie Barbie: I am a simple man

The fucking doctors: Lies and slander

The fucking doctors: but continue

Zombie Barbie: I came here to have a good time but im feeling attacked rn

Plural: I hid a box in my lamp

Soup kitchen: YOU WHAT   


The bears are coming: GATHER   


Zombie Barbie: he must die

The fucking doctors: STAIRS THE STAIRS   


Sans Whisperer: time to

Plural: take my leajgvsekgjslkgh

Sans Whisperer: well fuck

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**10:30 AM** **  
**

Sans Whisperer: I just witnessed murder

Sober: is it them again

Sans Whisperer: yes

Sans Whisperer: one good thing about us being friends is entertainment

Roblox phase: who died

Sans Whisperer:  _ Screenshot _

Weed duck: f

Sober: f

Weed aunt: f

Roblox phase: d

Roblox phase: ****f

Sober: D PFFFFFFT

Weed duck: HELLO WANT SOME D   


Weed aunt:  _ WHEEZE _ _   
_

Roblox phase: ITS A FUCKING TYPO   
  


**AHEE HEE HEE** **  
** ****

**10:31 AM** **  
**

likewise: oh god

likewise: fuck

Edgelord: what

likewise: i choke

likewise: help

blease: call popo

Karen: cough it out

I feast on ur tears: are you choking on an object or are you being choked

likewise: i choke self

likewise: ejshgrlkshlfsd

Edgelord: ah shit here we go again

Edgelord: coming

blease: yeah this has happened before hasn’t it

Edgelord: all the time

Karen: sad

Karen: dont pretend you havent dont it before

blease: dont pretend you havent done it before also SPELL   


I feast on ur tears: I feel left out

I feast on ur tears: god

likewise: wat do you want to be not left out

I feast on ur tears: join ur family

Edgelord: sure

likewise: sure

likewise: lmao

Edgelord: when is ur birthday

I feast on ur tears: April 20

likewise: AYYYY   


Edgelord: AYYYY

blease: AYYYY

Karen: how unfortunate

I feast on ur tears: ikr

Edgelord: Ours is worse lmao

likewise: in a way yeah lmao

blease: when

likewise: june

Edgelord: 9th

likewise: 6/9 lmao

Karen: they are seperated

Karen: banned from sex

likewise: OH YEAH

Edgelord: thank you for forcing this image into my head

Edgelord: Aki hand me the bleach

I feast on ur tears: yes sir

I feast on ur tears: omw

likewise: wait what if you actually join us as a family

I feast on ur tears:  _ omg _

Edgelord: it can be possible

I feast on ur tears: imma stick around for a bit

I feast on ur tears: if its epik imma join

likewise: sick

likewise: now deliver the bleach

I feast on ur tears: picking it up

Edgelord:  _ faster _

I feast on ur tears: the line is so long

I feast on ur tears: fuck it im stealing

Edgelord: oh yes the family spirit

likewise: I have some eye drops in case of emergency

likewise: wait for me

I feast on ur tears: alright

blease: wholesome family relationship

blease:  _ ahem _

Karen: Im still better at mario kart

blease: relationship ended

Karen:  _ you cant get rid of me _

blease: right

blease: shit

blease: ur grounded

Karen: no u

Karen: YOU’RE grounded

blease: I

blease: omfg you can ground me

Karen: just realised that

Karen: you serious

blease: um yes

Karen: no roblox for a week for your stupidity

blease: your doing this bc my lv is higher arnt u

Karen: yes

Karen: HA HA HA   


blease: THIS IS WHY MOM DOSENT FUCking LOVE YOU   


Karen: i dont have a gun

blease: A A A A  A A A A A A A A A   A A A

Karen: I dont think that batteries go that low

_ blease has left the chat _

_ Karen has added blease to the chat _

blease: PLEASe wHAT DID I DO TO YOU JESUS   
  


**Mental Hospital**

**10:30 AM**

Pissed™: this sucks

Pissed™: this sucks

Pissed™: this sucks

Pissed™: I NEED FUCKING HUMAN INTERACTION   


Roblox phase: chill

Pissed™: NEVER   


Roblox phase: you need human interaction

Pissed™: YES   


Roblox phase: alright

Roblox phase: wait a min

Pissed™: um okay

Pissed™: that was sudden

Get help: It was, but you should just accept it.

Pissed™:  _ Im trying _

Get help: Great.

Get help: Just sit there.

Pissed™:  _ what else am I supposed to be doing _

Get help: Reasonable.

Get help: Proceed.

 

**bloody murder**

**10:45 AM** **  
**

drunk aunt: I know its one of you

drunk aunt:  _ who _

10/10 would not recommend: Boston

Kink Shaming:  _ I TRUSTED YOU _ _   
_

Weed: first rule

duck bitch: trust no one

duck bitch: even telling them to cover up the evidence that you stole her booze

drunk aunt: is it this hard for you people to go out and buy some

Kink Shaming: yes

10/10 would not recommend: thats cuz were broke

Kink Shaming: rude but true

10/10 would not recommend: meet me outside were robbing

Kink Shaming:  _ oh yes _

Weed: I WANT TO COME

10/10 would not recommend: this is for our personal funds

10/10 would not recommend: organize something yourself

Weed: duck check the funds

duck bitch: yes maam

duck bitch: we need more

drunk aunt: mine is running out

drunk aunt: ill join you two if you guys decide to go

duck bitch: also search up fat juul rip on yt

drunk aunt: k

drunk aunt: OH THAT GOOD CONTENT   


Weed: IKR   


Weed: Intense coughing

duck bitch: r e e e e e e e

Weed: e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e

drunk aunt: its time to stop

duck bitch: no

duck bitch: ALRIGHT WERE GOING   


Weed: Y E S   


drunk aunt: OH YES   


_ Weed has changed the chat name to criminals _

 

**Hell**

**10:56 AM** **  
**

Smol Sinner: the fact that I keep seeing people get injured from my window is a wonder

#3 SInner: Who is it this time

Smol Sinner: explain

Least Sinned: it failed

Least Sinned: When it’s supposed to  _ succeed _

The Sinner: well it didnt

The Sinner: how the crap did you even get yourself injured you’re on the first floor

Smol Sinner: he suddenly jumped out of his window, did 5 backflips and landed on his head

Least Sinned: look i'm disoriented

Least Sinned: I can see you from the window stop laughing and  _ help me _

#3 Sinner: sure whatevs

#3 Sinner: but give me just another minute

Least Sinned: I hate you

#2 Sinner: hate is a strong word

Least Sinned: did i stutter

Smol Sinner: both of you have been in this situation

The Sinner: yes

#2 Sinner: yes

The Sinner: I have more than you for one time

#2 Sinner: give me the shovel

Smol Sinner: yes sir

The Sinner: gotta blast

#2 Sinner:  _ come here I just want to talk _

The Sinner:  _ I dont fucking trust you _

Smol Sinner: I am ending this conversation

_ Smol Sinner has muted #2 Sinner and The Sinner for 15 minutes _

#3 Sinner: lmao

Smol Sinner: oh my god

Smol Sinner: Red pls

Smol Sinner: you know what

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**11:00 AM** **  
**

Smol Sinner: CAN EVERYONE JUST STOP GETTING INJURED IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW   


The Sinner: HE HIT MY BACK WITH A FUCKING SHOVEL WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

#2 Sinner: WERE EVEN NOW BITCH   


Smol Sinner: IDGAF JUST GET INJURED SOMEWHERE ELSE

Joker: oh yeah people always gets injured in front of your window

Joker: want to trade for a week

Smol Sinner: Y E S   


Joker: cool

Joker:  _ I totally do not want to look at people getting injured and laugh at them _

Smol Sinner: hello popo this kid needs help

Joker: no u

Joker: we doing this or no

The Sinner: FUCK MY BACK   


Pissed™: WHY IS EVERYONE GETTING INJURED

#2 Sinner: THIS IS A NORMAL EVENT   


The Sinner: NO IT ISNT   


#2 Sinner: STOP YELLING

The Sinner: YOU STOP YELLIG

#2 Sinner: NO YOU ARE LITERALLY YELLING RN

The Sinner: MY FUCKING BACK bROKE   


#2 Sinner: IT DIDNT

The Sinner: HOW DO YOU KNOW

#2 Sinner: I JUST DO

The Sinner: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

#2 Sinner: EXACTLY AS IT WOUNDS

#2 Sinner: NOW STOP YELLING

The Sinner: NO U

Weed duck: thats it im coming to break this up

Weed duck: @Weed aunt assistance

Weed aunt: yes sir

Weed aunt: ALRIGHT KIDS   


The Sinner: shit

#2 Sinner: shit

Weed aunt: C O M E H E R E   


Weed duck: best assistance 

Sans Whisperer: oh god

Sans Whisperer: what happened

The Sinner: I got yeeted off the window

Sans Whisperer: are you ok

Sans Whisperer: does falling from a window hurt

Get help: Yes, but this is a normal event between the two of them. So he’s probably fine.

Weed aunt: DAYUM   


The Sinner: oh that hurt

#2 Sinner: that hurt

The Sinner: stfu

#2 Sinner: its time to stop

The Sinner: no u

The Sinner: perish gremlin

#2 Sinner: never

_ Smol Sinner has muted #2 Sinner and The Sinner for 5 minutes _

Smol Sinner: go think about what you’ve done

Smol Sinner: and stop spamming me 

#3 Sinner: why must you do this

He need some milk: why the fuck not

Smol Sinner: there you go

 

**12:21 PM** **  
**

Hey sisters: alright

Hey sisters:  _ stash it away _

Weed aunt: oh the deeed is doneee?

Kink Shaming: yes

Weed aunt: hand the ykw over

Kink Shaming: k

Weed aunt: @Weed duck @Sober its our turn

Sober: OH YES   


Weed duck: FINALLY   


Sans Whisperer: I will pretend that did not happen

Sober: its best that you did

Sober: ALRIGHT @Weed aunt WE GOIN   


Weed aunt: omg

Weed aunt: @Hey sisters WHY DID NOT NOT FUEL THE CAR   


Hey sisters: WE WERE ON THE RUN WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO

Weed duck: Im

Weed duck: ill bring some cash i guess

Sober: good move

End me: why are you doing this on the chat with all of us

Sober: too lazy

Sober: also all of you should know better than telling anyone else

Kink Shaming: your remains will not be found

Hey sisters: ill eat it

Weed aunt: and me

Kink Shaming: yes

End me: valid reason

End me: please continue

Kink Shaming: right

Kink Shaming: dont bring cash

Kink Shaming: there might not be enough you have to actually meet the person to pay for it etc

Kink Shaming: I have a burner card but if it isnt lost bring it back

Weed duck: k

Weed duck: omw

 

**1:34 PM**

Cure of insomnia: who delivered the G note

Joker: it waz me

Joker: how many people

Cure of insomnia: idk 

End me: you rat

Joker: hahhahahahhaah

The Sinner: I was tricked

The Sinner: the despair

Joker: you were the only one who actually knew the whole thing lmao

The Sinner: shut

Fuck off im playing minecraft: this is not how i expected to go down

Fuck off im playing minecraft: but hey, mcr was gucci

The Sinner: fuck it im playing the full song on my speaker

Sober: you be lucky i aint here

The Sinner: yeah

Sober: alright @Weed aunt you have it

Weed aunt: yes

Weed aunt: GO THEYRE COMING

Weed duck: WHERE ARE YOU

Weed aunt: ROOF   


Weed aunt: ILL JUMP

Sober: K GOING YOUR WAY

That’s the mf tea: ik that this has been said before

That’s the mf tea: but what the actual crap is wrong with us

Sans Whisperer: I now have no idea who’s more messed up

Sans Whisperer: us or them

That’s the mf tea: who?

Sans Whisperer: Spaghetti Borscht Star Oysters and Black Pudding

Sans Whisperer: who recently just brought 200 cans of sardines

That’s the mf tea: THE FUCK   


He need some milk: what for???   


Sans Whisperer: brb

 

**WHERES THE LAMB SAUSE** **  
** **1:40 AM**

Sans Whisperer: whats the sardines for?

Plural: as you have noticed with our group chats new name Borscht cant spell

Soup kitchen: i cant 

Soup kitchen: it looks better this way tho

Zombie Barbie: true

Sans Whisperer: yeah

Sans Whisperer: but whats the sardines for 

The bears are coming: our leaf blower got taken away by next door bc we keep blowing it in their face so we brought some sardines with Star’s lottery jackpot money and we gonna dump it everywhere in their house

Zombie Barbie: it was my idea

Zombie Barbie: have you seen my namesake

Sans Whisperer: I had a feeling that it was you

Sans Whisperer: after you guys finish decorating it send me a pic

Plural: gladly

Plural: just waiting for the last box to come in

Sans Whisperer: how many money did you win?   


The fucking doctors: 10,000,000

The fucking doctors: good shit

Zombie Barbie: and ofc we gon spend it on the most random and pointless things

Soup kitchen: yep

The fucking doctors: ITS HERE   


The bears are coming: GATTER CHILDREN

Zombie Barbie: LETS GO

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**1:44 AM**

Sans Whisperer: they have set off

Sans Whisperer:  _ screenshot _

Sans Whisperer: I like having more friends this is better than stuck in a corner with your own thoughts and constant reminders that you’re a disappointment

He need some milk: ill pretend that i only read the first 5 words

He need some milk: but when you get the shot please send it in here

Sans Whisperer: yeah i will

Get help: They certainly do find themselves at the most extreme positions.

Sans Whisperer: WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND VOCABULARY   


Sober: mind you I have the littlest vocab

#3 Sinner: me word small

Roblox phase: you want fight

#3 Sinner: yes

Roblox phase: come at 300 at car vroom vroom no place at back of eat thing

#3 Sinner: you is not win

Sober: its time to stop

Sober: this is why we dont let children run wild

#3 Sinner: me no kid

Roblox phase: me no kid also

_ Sober has removed all privileges of Roblox phase and #3 Sinner _

Roblox phase: vodka is bully 

#3 Sinner: cry

Sober: SOMEONE HELP ME   


Sans Whisperer: At this moment of time, I am impotent to assist you in this matter. It would be gratifying if you were to take care of this state of affairs by oneself

Sober: you literally just said your vocab was limited

Get help: Normally, B-52 doesn't use grammar. If he uses grammar, then it is either a conspiracy theory or it is fake. Plus, I saw him searching it up on the website known as thesaurus.com.

Sans Whisperer: HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO THROW SHADE ON US   


Get help: As much times as needed.

Sans Whisperer: help im scared

Sober: same

Roblox phase: same

#3 Sinner: same

Get help: Then be scared.

#3 Sinner: dayum

Sans Whisperer: You do realise im literally 3 feet away from you and just watched you type that while crackling like some madman

Get help: Perhaps.

Sans Whisperer: awesome

Pissed™: I can sense the sarcasm though the screen

Pissed™: better run

Sans Whisperer: yep good idea

 

**Pissed™ >>> Roblox phase**

how long has it been

like 2-3 hours or something

oh snap

its been this long

when i said i need human interaction i didnt expect it to be this long

Thanks i guess

sure man

btw going to store need anything

get some comics thanks

webcomics broke

 Oof

what series

you should know

Oh right

I remember

good 

Thanks

Theres not much to do when you just sit here lol

Yeah ikr

Alright going

Cool

 

**WHERES THE LAMB SAUSE** **  
** **1:50 AM**

The bears are coming:  _ picture _

Plural:  _ picture _

Soup kitchen: @Sans Whisperer the deed is done

Soup kitchen: were camping out rn

Zombie Barbie: Being here in the wilderness is better than death i suppose

The fucking doctors: “you suppose”

Zombie Barbie: yeah I suppose

Zombie Barbie: who has the cash

Soup kitchen: not me

The bears are coming: nope

The fucking doctors: no…

Zombie Barbie: 

Sans Whisperer: def not

Plural: I can feel the eyes on me through the screen

Plural: but yes, I have the cash, credit debit cards, checks, electronics, the safe, and every valuable things that can be sold for more than 100

The fucking doctors: we are blessed to have someone as resposible as you presence in our group

Sans Whisperer: honestly I think all of you would be dead without him

Soup kitchen: you have, a point

Sans Whisperer: I know when I do

Plural: yeah its true

Plural: yall are adults you should know how to function

Zombie Barbie: yall

The fucking doctors: yall

Soup kitchen: yall 

The bears are coming: yall

Sans Whisperer: yall

The bears are coming: and no we dont know how

Plural: im spending all of this on ice cream money

Plural: bish there is no stopping me

Soup kitchen: with that amount of money you are buying out the country

Soup kitchen: someone  _ stop him _

Zombie Barbie: I swiped it 

Zombie Barbie: were good

Sans Whisperer: Is it an offensive statement if I said that none of you should be classified as an adult and please go back to kindergarten?

The bears are coming: say whatever you want thats how all of our friendships work

The bears are coming: and no that statement sums up our life perfectly

Sans Whisperer: oh cool

The fucking doctors: correct

The fucking dorcots: so very true

Plural: i hate you

Plural: but like if everyone was a kindergartener I would say im in about 1st grade held back 2 times

Zombie Barbie: omfg yeah

The fucking doctors: what is wrong with us

Sans Whisperer: ive been telling what you people have been up to to the other groupchat can i summarize what theyve been doing in here because i need more places to rant about people in my life

The bears are coming: alright go ahead

Soup kitchen: make it as long as it can be

Plural: take your time

Zombie Barbie: while hes doing that

Zombie Barbie: Black Pudding do you have the switch

The fucking doctors: uhhh we dont have electricity and I forgot to charge it

Zombie Barbie: come ON   


Sans Whisperer: Gingerbread is triggered that people keep getting injured in front of her window, Red Wine got hit in the back with a shovel by Steak and fell out of the window and Gingerbread saw it through her window, Napoleon locked Nata in his room to prevent him from killing Vodka and Galaxy because they were saying owo and uwu too much, then he jumped out the window because bad life choices and broke his leg can not move for 2 weeks. Boston, Spicy Gluten, Yuxiang, Vodka and Peking Duck robbed more places but they will eat your dead body if you told anyone, Brownie keeps throwing shade on us even though he should stay like the innocent child he always is, I’m still a depressed little shit but Spaghetti that had nothing to do with you as we agreed to not mention our past again, MCR was revived, also Brownie almost went deaf, Napoleon and Galaxy set off a firecracker in her room, Senior yearbook quotes are coming up and I plotted good shit, and right now at this moment I feel like a double agent from one of those movies

Plural: yeah I think you are a double agent too

The bears are coming: good to know that were not the only ones getting injured

Sans Whisperer: how do you people read so fast

The bears are coming: its a 

Plural: gift

Soup kitchen: alright im done

The fucking doctors: the author is sleep deprived lmao

Sans Whisperer: oh yeah vodka keeps breaking the 4th wall apparently many people can do that

The fucking doctors: I can break the 5th fucking wall

The fucking doctors: but the 5th wall is an unspeakable item that should not be mentioned

The bears are coming: roblox filtering systems were in now

Zombie Barbie: sardines

Zombie Barbie: omfg I want sardines

The bears are coming: alright take her away

The fucking doctors: yes sir

Plural: yes sir

Zombie Barbie: YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVEHHDKFJHFHDS

Sans Whisperer: we did anyways

Sans Whisperer: rekt

Soup kitchen: HA

Soup kitchen: HA

Soup kitchen: HA

The bears are coming: too easy

The bears are coming: l m a o 

Soup kitchen: she is currently dragged though de woods

Sans Whisperer: rip

Soup kitchen: oh fuck

Soup kitchen: she took her axe

Soup kitchen: @Plural @The fucking doctors ABORT ABORT   


Plural: JESUS CHRIST   


The fucking doctors: I am gone

Zombie Barbie: im stuck

Zombie Barbie: HELP

Zombie Barbie: I SERIOUS

The fucking doctors: like really serious

Zombie Barbie: UM YES   


The fucking doctors: I am armed

The fucking doctors: going back 

The fucking doctors: no tricks

Zombie Barbie: nah man no tricks

The fucking doctors: alright

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**2:00 AM** **  
**

Cure of insomnia: The sanitized.

_ Monika has changed Cure of insomnia’s name to the sanitized _

the sanitized: yes thank you

Get help: That was the most random.

the sanitized: ikr

End me: THE SANITIZED   


End me: THE SANITIZED   


Get help: It’s time to stop.

End me: can I please not be the one who has to be on the receiving end of your rare memeing

Get help: It depends on the scenario. 

End me: understandable have a nice day

Monika: THE SANITIZED   


Get help: What is the sanitized?

Monika: idk

Monika: but

He need some milk: THE SANITIZED   
That’s the mf tea: its a meme in our group

That’s the mf tea: THE SANITIZED   


Get help: I see.

Pissed™: @Sacred memeist

Sacred memeist: Yes

Sober: Yes

Sober: yEs

Get help: Another thing, why do I see you guys yelling “Yes” all the time?

Sober: Brownie you need to know that our group is just a big meme

Sober: just when you notice either join us or leave us be

Get help: Fair.

Kink Shaming: Vodka its time

Sober: @Weed duck @Weed aunt @Hey sisters Assemble.

Weed duck: oh yes

Weed aunt: ITS TIME   


Hey sisters: GET THE GUCCI GLASSES   


Weed duck: I have me sniper

Weed duck: ready for the 360 no scope

Weed aunt: oh yes

Weed aunt: I have the weed

Hey sisters: found em

Hey sisters: what do I bring

Kink Shaming: I already got the obey hats

Kink Shaming: grab the supreme

Hey sister: k

That’s the mf tea: im a bit scared

Kink Shaming: lemme search up something

Kink Shaming: alright were crashing the superbowl

That’s the mf tea: NOW I AM REALLY SCARED   


Sober: oop

Sober: Boston can you pick up the doritos stickers for me to put on the car

Kink Shaming: k

Sober: got it

Sober: thx

Weed duck: lets get this bread

Weed aunt: second that   


Sober: its good

Sober: AUTOBOTS ROLLOUT   


Kink Shaming: OH YE   


Sans Whisperer: did I just witness that

He need some milk: im

He need some milk: @That’s the mf tea can you come over 

That’s the mf tea: sure omw

He need some milk: <3

That’s the mf tea: <3

Monika: wholesome relationship 

Monika: lmao

the sanitized: *only established relationship

Monika: true

Monika:  _ HURRY THE FUCK UP KIDS _ _   
_

the sanitized: tira you are scaring the children

_ the sanitized has deleted a message _

Monika: rude

End me: yeah hes right

End me: dont

the sanitized: ALRIGHTSO   


the sanitized: wait i forgot waht i was gonna type

End me: spell

End me: then think   


the sanitized: wOw i nEvEr reAlizEd thAt aLl i hAd tO dO wAs tHiNk!

End me: i kNoW rIghT? iM sO smaRt

Monika: im dragging these two kids away

the sanitized: MOTHER   
  


**6:46 PM** **  
**

Sober: that was sick

Kink Shaming: ikr

Weed duck: shut the fuck up and help me destroy the evidence

 

**7:00 PM**

Sans Whisperer:  _ article _

Sans Whisperer: you guys are in the news

Sober:  _ oh yes _

Kink Shaming: finally were in the news for memeing

Weed duck: history is made

Weed aunt: I can die peacefully now

 

**WHERES THE LAMB SAUSE**

**7:01 PM** **  
**

Soup kitchen: yo @Sans Whisperer i think i saw your friends on the news

Sans Whisperer: is it the “Event ruined with Memes”

Soup kitchen: Yes

Plural:  _ lmao _

Plural: we gotta do that sometimes

The fucking doctors: omfg yeah

Sans Whisperer: thats nice

Sans Whisperer: dont die

The bears are coming: thank you

The bears are coming:  _ now get over here we’re planning _

Soup kitchen:  _ initiate stage 1 _

Sans Whisperer: Sometimes Im just a little bit glad that you guys are across the globe, no offence

Plural: nah its fine were insane

 

**Mental Hospital**

**8:45 PM** **  
  
**

Pissed™: chickens

Sober: Have you lost it

Pissed™: yes

Pissed™: Ive lost it all

Sober: SPECIFY

Pissed™: HOW BOUT NO   


Sober: HOW BOUT NO U   


Roblox phase: ITS TIME TO STOP

Pissed™: NO

Sober: NO

Sacred memeist: NO   


Sober: YOU AINT INVOLVED IN THIS CONVO

Sacred memeist: I AM NOW

Pissed™: BUT ARE YOU

Roblox Phase: dUn dUn Dun

Get help: The name of this chat is growing true to its words.

Sans Whisperer: Ikr

Sacred memeist: YES   


Sober: YES

Pissed™: YES   


Roblox Phase: YES

Sans Whisperer: I now have a mental picture of the four of them getting drunk and making a mountain of people dabbing screaming yes

Sober: LETS DO THAT

Pissed™: WELL I CANT MOVE   


Sober: oh

Sober: THEN ITS POSTPONED

Sober: im getting high anyways ahaahahahahah

Roblox Phase: inspirational

Sans Whisperer: understandable have a nice day

Sober: goodbye thots

Sacred memeist: um no u

Sacred memeist: anyways

Sacred memeist: I has le kwestion

Pissed™: wot ez de kwestion

Pissed™: ME NEED DE KWESTION TO ANSWER DE KWESTION   


Sans Whisperer: why do we speak like this

Roblox Phase: vy de fuk nut

Sans Whisperer: ok soure

Get help: A creative way to send a message.

Roblox Phase: jOIN US   


Get help: I would prefer not.

Sans Whisperer: shoure

Pissed™: okayssssssssss

Roblox Phase: ;)

Sacred memeist: Owo Uwu

Sober: don svare tje kids

Sober: thsnks

Roblox Phase: oh wow shes already wasted

Sober: im wastrd 25/8 ok bitvh

Sans Whisperer: She has a point

Sacred memeist: valid

Pissed™: Who isnt is the kwestion

Sacred memeist: Brownie

Get help: I am?

Sacred memeist: um YES   


Sacred memeist: If you do then the world is destroyed

Pissed™: valid point

Roblox Phase; valid point

Sans Whisperer: valid point

Get help: Alright then.

Roblox Phase: time for the mixtape

Sacred memeist:  _ OH YES _ _   
_

Pissed™: oh shit the mixtape

Pissed™: where are we hosting it

Roblox phase: my room

Roblox phase: but if you want to join we can come to yours

Pissed™: sure idc as long as the mixtape gets played

Sacred memeist:  _ OWO _ _   
_

Roblox phase:  _ ITS TIME TO STOP _

Sacred memeist:  _ OWO UWU OWO _ _   
_

Pissed™: im gonna pretend she doesnt exist

Roblox phase: same

Roblox phase:  _ get the mixtape _

Sacred memeist: k

Get help: What’s a “mixtape”?

Sacred memeist: its a recording with all the meme songs we can find and put together

Get help: Okay.

Sacred memeist:  _ GET THE TAPE MACHINE READY _

Roblox Phase: we did

Roblox phase: NOW HURRY THE FUCK UP

Sacred memeist: NO   


Pissed™: no u

 

**coffee pay the fucking rent**

**9:00 PM**

Peacekeeper Monika: guys

Its time to stop: what is your need

dead inside: DEATH   


Its time to stop: read my name, then read yours

dead inside: valid

Peacekeeper Monika: my god

Peacekeeper Monika: but someone needs to pay the rent

Lesbianb #1: Read the chat title

dead inside: no

Lesbianb #2:  _ there is no choice _

dead inside:  _ or is there _

Its time to stop:  _ dun dun dun _

Its time to stop: but seriously who is paying the rent

dead inside: not me

dead inside: and idc what you say

Peacekeeper Monika: ill pay it

Peacekeeper Monika: Coffee you own me

dead inside: own you what

Peacekeeper Monika: ill think about it

dead inside: oh wow

Lesbianb #2: you need to be very scared

Lesbianb #2: Tira takes her debts very seriously

dead inside: im a bit scared now

Peacekeeper Monika: FEAR ME MERE MORTAL

dead inside: NEVER   


dead inside: PERISH GREMLIN   


Its time to stop: time to stop

Its time to stop: or else

dead inside: or else what

Its time to stop: I have my ways

dead inside: well k

dead inside: and I have MY ways

Its time to stop: oh shit

Its time to stop: Can you maybe NOT

dead inside: no

dead inside: now perish

Its time to stop: no u

Lesbianb #1: right over my salad?   


Lesbianb #2: Stop flirting you two

_ dead inside has muted Lesbianb #1 and Lesbianb #2 for 5 minutes _

dead inside: lies and slander

Its time to stop: lmao

Peacekeeper Monika: Im just gonna say nothing

Its time to stop: good

dead inside: move

_ dead inside has changed the chat name to the rent is paid _

Its time to stop: nice

dead inside:  _ the evil is defeated _

 

**WHERES THE LAMB SAUSE** **  
** ****

**10:34 AM**

The bears are coming: god my hands

Sans Whisperer: hows the planning

Soup kitchen: done

Zombie Barbie: its magnificent

The fucking doctors: well planned

Plural: an insane idea but thats who we are in this household

Sans Whisperer: that nice

Sans Whisperer: the household of insanity

The fucking doctors: yes

The bears are coming: this is like gru’s plan all over again

Soup kitchen:  _ LMAO- _

Zombie Barbie: We yeet ourselves to the event

The fucking doctors: we ruin it

Plural: FBI comes

Sans Whisperer:  **_FBI comes_ **

The bears are coming: im wheezing

Soup kitchen: sames

The fucking doctors: shitty memes also runs in this family

Sans Whisperer: Same with mine

Sans Whisperer: I think shitty memes runs in every family

Soup kitchen: omfg YES

Soup kitchen: daily shitty memes

Soup kitchen: make it a thing

The bears are coming: s u r e

The bears are coming: making copies

Plural:  **_Move, IM GAY_ **

Sans Whisperer: In the workplace,

Zombie Barbie: being gay

The fucking doctors: just has its perks

Zombie Barbie:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTeQSzHGWyw ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTeQSzHGWyw)

The bears are coming:  _ yes _

Zombie Barbie: Love the womans scream

Sans Whisperer: this is like if james charles was allowed to run a office

Soup kitchen: valid

Plural: In this household valid is an overused meme

Sans Whisperer: valid is too overused

Sans Whisperer: can confirm that

The fucking doctors: overused memes are fun

Plural: fine

Plural: wHaT evEr yOu sAy

The bears are coming: dont use that tone with me young man

Plural: yes father

Soup kitchen: JOHNNY JOHNNY YES PAPA   


Sans Whisperer: NO   


Zombie Barbie: NO   


The fucking doctors: NO   


Soup kitchen: your right that song is cursed

The bears are coming:  _ begone thought _

Plural:  _ eat her remains _

Sans Whisperer:  _ why is everyone eating each others remains _

The fucking doctors: It tastes fucking good

Sans Whisperer:  _ what _

Plural: another thing she eats people

The fucking doctors:  _ hahahhahahhahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH _

Sans Whisperer: time to move to mars

Sans Whisperer: bye

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**11:00 PM**

Sans Whisperer: fuck im tramatized

Get help: What happened?

Sober:  _ WHAT HAS HAPPENED _ _   
_

Sans Whisperer: just found out that Black Pudding legit eats corpses

Sans Whisperer: pack my bags i moving to mars

Sober: excuse me  _ what _

Sans Whisperer:  _ you heard me _

Sans Whisperer:  _ screenshot _

Sans Whisperer: context

Sober: oh shit

Sober: we were just joking around

Sober: but now im actually scared

Get help: That’s pleasant.

Weed duck: oh wow

Weed duck: if it was me I would be traumatized as well

Weed aunt: the children are all tainted

Joker: yeah

Joker: wait ALL

Sober: we’ve managed to save one from the storm

Sober: @Get help

Get help: Yeah?

Sober: see told you

Joker: i see

Get help: Is something wrong?

Joker: nope go back to doing whatever you want

Get help: Okay.

Roblox phase: remember the good ol days when B-52 was also like that

Sans Whisperer: good old good old

Sans Whisperer: now ive seen it all

Sans Whisperer: owo

Sacred memeist:  _ OWO UWU OWO _

Pissed™: oh shit you have summoned her

Pissed™: begone thot

_ Pissed™ has muted Sacred memeist for 1 minute _

Roblox phase: oh wow

Pissed™: go to your corner and think about what you’ve done

Roblox phase:  _ lmao- _

Pissed™:  _ you’re next _

Roblox phase:  _ shit _

Weed duck: you are abusing the italics 

Weed duck:  **there must be consequences**

Roblox phase: o realy

Pissed™: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SPELL

Roblox phase: no

Pissed™: DO YOU WANT AUTOCORRECT   


Roblox phase: FINE FINE I WILL TRY   


Pissed™: there is no try

Roblox phase: well fuck

Pissed™: rekt

Roblox phase:  _ THE MIXTAPE _

Sacred memeist: yes im unmuted

Sacred memeist:  _ YES THE MIXTAPE _

Sacred memeist: hhhhh i spent hours na dhtwe rgr on tht atapmdape

Roblox phase: are you okay god

Sacred memeist: oh im fin

Sacred memeist: recently i just shamsh my head into keyabords and hopew sit meakes words

Sacred memeist: somertiwms it dont work ewell

Kink Shaming:  _ What are these hieroglyphics _

Sacred memeist: this is how i type do you aheb a problem

Pissed™:  _ No, of course not. _

The Sinner: I can sense the rage from the screen

Smol Sinner: oh you type liek this too

#3 Sinner: fianlylu someone els e thatht also atype liket hsi

Sacred memeist: oh cool wehsater the smae typings kills then

Smol Sinner: eys

fuck off im playing minecraft:  _ Can you mayhaps not _

#3 Sinner: noi

Sacre memeist: mo

Smol Sinner: nog

fuck off in playing minecraft: understandable have a nice day

Sacred memeist: hey do you gusy thinnks tha ti shotusl have ar eds had et or a bluse setdheads

Smol Sinner: blseu soudns good

#3 Sinner: bluer fi s int o wrell wihth you head red is beter

Pissed™: ITS TIME TO STOP

 

**Hell**

**11:23 AM**

Smol Sinner: i sound high lmao

#3 Sinner: theere ano teror with that wow

Smol Sinner: on wow that wasnt intenedded

Least Sinned: jesus christ

#3 Sinner: i wman i an a little bit sfurnk idk

#3 Sinner: hihgi from breakthing

Smol Sinner: Oh ig et jihg form breathing a lot

The Sinner: im

The Sinner: how do you people even read what you tpe

Smol Sinner: pracvitce

#3 Sinner: prawcitvcee

The Sinner:  _ um the fuck _

#2 Sinner: im just going to pretend we are not having this conversation right now

The Sinner: good idea

Least Sinned: second that

#3 Sinner: have oyu wthwe dthe tnew sepicsocd eof peeppa pif

Smol Sinner: oh ther ws noa new pepea pig peifsode gcool il wathc it

#3 Sinner: its so cirngsy lsmao

Smol Sinner: the cqholwe shiw is cringy oj

Smol Sinner: buts oetiems it sjust liek mlg materiel fir mlg paepap oif

#3 Sinner: ommfg eus i love lmh pepaw pig

Smol Sinner: find the wed lmaoooodooso

#3 Sinner: THE WOED

#3 Sinner: LE TOS OG PUCK SUP TO MSOME WEED   


Smol Sinner: PEOPA OYU GET LECTORIC UE IN HIS TWATHER ANS TPOUD DIE HAHSSJHAJHDSJA   


#3 Sinner: DIE SHRJHADHJASKFHS

The Sinner: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST GET YOURSELF A SEPERATE CHAT

 

**Epik**

**12:00 AM** **  
**

Sacred memeist: fianlyl wer ahve a chiat to ourslefves

#3 Sinner: irkr ahtis hebtere

Smol Sinner: kmao yewa

Sacred memeist: hwo shte mlg spepap ig eapdside edit ong

#3 Sinner: grsta

#3 Sinner: but wre nesd god tidsa liek can we use gweds again

Sacred memeist: weed si shg sog

Smol Sinner: as ogods as weks is

Smol Sinner: we ned more mlg

Smol Sinner: kien we an just idk put somehds fhe in 

Sacred memeist: this caht si hudnerateds and peorpla re high

#3 Sinner: ikr

#3 Sinner: htis ti hbd im having shilld donw my spines nad thisd fhfsd ot

Smol Sinner: wahs crakakwlcimog

Sacred memeist: my boens

#3 Sinner: BONE HURSTIN GJOUNG

Smol Sinner: AKAKAJDSJA VONE HARUTING JOUNCE

Sacred memeist: EUS THE BONE HURTING HOIUCE   


#3 Sinner: FUJING 

#3 Sinner: BORNG HE BIT UK ALSK 

Smol Sinner: how maby seporple do oyu think yhat dont knitk we are acutaly suptyping

Sacred memeist: none

#3 Sinner none

Smol Sinner:  _ lmao _

Smol Sinner: utw re are typignw orvds?   


#3 Sinner: iw ekr are

Sacred memeist: ou baitns is tos fos for haumnity

#3 Sinner: YYUS

Smol Sinner: YRS

Smol Sinner: if eporple see us righ now hthey wergon high

Sacred memeist: i think wra rew hgiha kust kust a ittle bit

#3 Sinner: we hould stop

Smol Sinner: LMAO eyah

 

**Sleep? Who she?**

**1:42 AM**

Sans Whisperer: my brain is still processing what language they are speaking

Sober: galaxy sent me a picture of their chat

Sober: honestly i have no clue the fuck is going on

Sober: If I send it here then yall are gonna be cursed

Cure of insomnia:  _ no thanks _

Pissed™: yeah no

Sans Whisperer: I am not ready to get further cursed

Salt Pillar: the demons has already came I dont need another one

Sober: knew it

Sober: so uh

Sober: i guess ill have to decipher this myself

Sans Whisperer:  _ Good luck, you will need it _

Pissed™: he aint wrong

Pissed™: good fucking luck 

Salt Pillar: so the problem is

Salt Pillar: I now need sleep

Salt Pillar: it’s been a pleasure

Cure of insomnia: same to you

_ Salt Pillar has left the chat _

Pissed™: rip

Pissed™: im still deprived of sleep

Sans Whisperer: same

Cure of insomnia: same

Sober: surprisingly, same

Sober: the author hasn’t slept in 2 days

Cure of insomnia: VODKA PLEASE THE WALL   


Sober:  _ sOrRy _

Pissed™:  _ she is never sorry _

Sans Whisperer: can confirm

Sober: stop selling me out

Cure of insomnia: I know for a fact that she aint sorry

Sober: I aint

Cure of insomnia: shocking

Pissed™: so very shocking

Sans Whisperer: I cant believe that shes not sorry

Sober: we are abusing the italics AND the sarcasm

Sans Whisperer: I know

Pissed™: abusing it is power

Cure of insomnia:  _ information is power _

_ Cure of insomnia has removed Get help and The bears are coming from the chat _

Sans Whisperer: why

Cure of insomnia: its 1 am

Pissed™: yeah no shit

Cure of insomnia: dont let the child suffer

Sober: and dont let the probably mental disabled crazed memeist get to us

Pissed™: best quote 2019

Cure of insomnia: just went to store

Cure of insomnia: brought some gum

Cure of insomnia: the time is 1 am but the line is fucking long

Cure of insomnia: screamed move im gay

Cure of insomnia: express checkout

Cure of insomnia: after this someone went up to me and said “you looked gay anyways”

Cure of insomnia: is it a compliment or an insult

Pissed™: compliment

Sans Whisperer: compliment

Sober: the truth

Cure of insomnia:  _ thanks, vodka _

Sober:  _ you’re welcome _

Sober: the author is having an internal crisis about whether to stay up all night on a Sunday where theres a test tomorrow

Cure of insomnia: stay up all night she still has 15 bottles of frap in the fridge

Pissed™: the test is easy and already studied for so yes stay up

Sans Whisperer: we’re staying up right now why the hell not

Sober: alright

Sans Whisperer: now mend the fourth wall

Pissed™: vodka you are abusing your fourth wall rights

Sober: yeah ik

Sober: but I need to abuse this bc breaking barriers is a rare ability

Cure of insomnia: valid

Sans Whisperer: lets not have this conversation the author is sleep deprived

Pissed™:  _ god not you too _

Sans Whisperer: It be like that sometimes

Cure of insomnia: stop breaking the wall

Cure of insomnia: ill have you know I have the fbi on speed dial

Pissed™: last time he straight up called trump so i dont think hes lying

Sober: oh shit

Sober: abort abort

Sans Whisperer: karen you’re taking the kids im going to deal some drugs from mothman dont expect me to return

Pissed™: and this is the result of a pure child after being tainted

Sober:  _ we must protect the last one at all costs _

Cure of insomnia:  _ im down _

Sans Whisperer: if we have a pure child in the family then it brings up the ranks way higher

Sans Whisperer:  _ protect him _

Sober: #dontletbrowniebetainted

Cure of insomnia:  _ lmao- _

Pissed™: nice intervention but we must keep the sound down we dont want to wake the kids

Sober: u right u right

Sober: dayum im sleep deprived

Sober: my hands

Sober: they can barely type god damn it

Pissed™: typing is not a skill

Cure of insomnia: agreed

Sans Whisperer: we just let our hands guide us to wherever they want 

Sans Whisperer: but Gingerbread Cola and Galaxy they are creating hieroglyphics

Sober: yes

 

**4:21 AM**

Sober: shit I passed out

Sober: and look at the time its a min over 4:20

Cure of insomnia: shocking

Sober: just got the text confirmation from weed aunt that they got it

Sober: our insurance is at peace

Pissed™: praise

Sans Whisperer: namaste

Cure of insomnia: amen

Sober: and I dont have to borrow from you guys again

Pissed™: I thought you were in debt

Sober: I can rob somewhere and I won't be in debt anymore

Sans Whisperer: have you guys ever been caught?

Sober: once

Sober: but duck got away and he single handedly busted the four of us out

Sober: admiration at the fullest

Sober: pretty sure that incident is what led to lobster wanting to fuck him

Cure of insomnia:  _ excuse me, what now _

Sober:  _ did i fucking stutter _

Pissed™:  _ I dont think you did, no _

Sans Whisperer:  _ Im just gonna pretend i didnt read that last one _

Pissed™:  _ same _

Sober: but seriously

Sober: like duck literally had a sniper, 360ed people and picked all our locks under ten seconds

Sober: like were in an action movie or some shit

Sans Whisperer: sounds sick

Sober: but then we realized that busting people out of prison takes memes away bc this shit serious

Sober: so only once, we got caught

Sans Whisperer: bravo

Pissed™:  _ its gonna be those times when you think youre gonna get caught once but then fails miserably _

Sober:  _ fucking watch me _

Cure of insomnia: the italics are being abused yet again

Cure of insomnia: its time to stop

Sober: the author has had her 3 am frap

Sober: prepare for bullshit

Pissed™: oh, fuck

Cure of insomnia: can you mayhaps cut dow on the fourth wall breaking

Sans Whisperer: second that

Sober: maybe

 

**Mental Hospital**

**6:01 AM**

((time skip to 2 weeks later so he(nata) can fucking move))

 

Get help: Do you ever just had that moment when you felt like dying? Right now, I just hit my leg against the drawer and with the severe pain I missed the bed while jumping into it. It hurt. Then I proceeded to get up, but my legs fell asleep and I crashed down again. Currently I am laying down on the floor, my knee is bruised, and I’m silently crying. I feel like I want to pass out. Help.

Sober: @everyone THE CHILD IS INJURED   
Sacred memeist: the fuck

Sacred memeist: OH SHIT

Sacred memeist: @everyone 

Pissed™: ARE YOU GOOD

Roblox phase: DO YOU NEED US TO COME OVER   


Sans Whisperer: IM COMING OVER ANYWAYS   


Sans Whisperer: its kind of bad

Sans Whisperer:  **_I NEED ASSISTANCE_ ** **_  
_ **

Roblox Phase: YES SIR   


Pissed™: im there already open the door

Sober: im through the window

Sober: years of practice

Sober: im coming to open the door hold up

 

**7:12 AM**

Get help: Thanks.

Sober:  _ you are not getting injured on my watch _

Get help: Okay…?

Get help: My knee is just bruised, I think I can take care of it myself later on.

Pissed™:  _ nah fam _

Roblox Phase:  _ nah fam _

Sans Whisperer: we got you

Get help: Does that not bother you guys?   


Sacred memeist: nope

Sans Whisperer: not at all

Roblox phase: no

Pissed™: depends

Sober:  _ what does that mean _

Pissed™: means if my external and internal needs serious fixing then I could only focus on fixing myself before I murder you all

Sans Whisperer: time to back away slowly

Sober:  _ nyoom _

Roblox phase: and here we have two different types of people in this household

Sacred memeist: *3

Sacred memeist: so this house is like

Sacred memeist: The memer, the psycho, the pure child, the drunk aunt, the 9 year old toxic fortnite player and the obvious one

Roblox phase: excuse me what did you just say to me

Sacred memeist: Your name was “9 year old” at one point

Roblox phase: valid

Pissed™: it was at this moment

Pissed™: that nothing happened

Sober: if your bored then go do something useful

Pissed™: shore

Pissed™: alright kids you want to buy some foods

Roblox phase:  _ nyoom _

Sacred memeist:  _ nyoom _

Pissed™: fuck napoleons already here

Roblox phase: im literally a door away from the kitchen

Roblox phase: use the item called a brain

Pissed™: I dont possess such an item

Sacred memeist: I dont has such large vocabuly

Sacred memeist: open the door im here

Roblox phase: omw

Sober: have it your way

Sober: time to get fucking wasted

Sans Whisperer: nice

Sans Whisperer: tis been a month im joining you   


Get help: So what should I do?

Sacred memeist: join us we have cookies uwu

Get help: Thanks, I’m coming. UwU?

Sacred memeist:  _ OWO UWU OWO _ _   
_

Roblox phase: the restraints are on

Roblox phase: try not to use uwu

Get help: Noted, and I’m coming.

Sober: wait  _ what restraints _

Roblox phase: we dont speak of it

Pissed™: yes we dont speak of it

Pissed™: it a banned word mf

Sober:  _ well okay _

Sober: @Sans Whisperer we need about 6 more

Sans Whisperer: yes ma’am

Sober: scratch that get 15

Sans Whisperer: way ahead of you

Roblox phase: shots?

Sans Whisperer:  _ bottles _

Pissed™:  _ nani the fuck _

Pissed™: im just not gonna get near them today

Roblox phase: same

Sans Whisperer: wheres ur card

Sober: 2nd drawer false bottom

Sans Whisperer: k

Sans Whisperer: alright we getting wasted

Sober: how many

Sans Whisperer: 30 

Sober:  _ fuck yes _

Roblox phase:  _ lock the fucking doors _

 

**Epik**

**7:45 AM**

#3 Sinner: is bovdska and b052 geting wasted aging

Sacred memeist: yesh

Sacred memeist: leikt ehyg aot aliek 30 btoels of athen alchokajl

Smol Sinner: ohs hit

Smol Sinner: let shrun

#3 Sinner: chirs tym wars i got warpared

Smol Sinner: thataf ssad

Smol Sinner: anywas glets hit sda cluh

Sacred memeist: hels yeah

 

**Mental Hospital**

**8:00 AM**

Sans Whisperer: I lived bitch

Sacred memeist:  _ nani the fuck how _

Sans Whisperer: @Sober is dead

Sober: safdjklherwlaksghawe

Get help: Guys, I don’t think that your current situation is not a very good idea.

Pissed™: no shit

Pissed™: they b dead

Sans Whisperer: she dead

Sans Whisperer: shit

Sans Whisperer: im sghjakghalwehgsa

Get help: I’ll pretend that did not happen.

Sacred memeist: same here

Pissed™:  _ the sanitized _

Roblox phase:  **_what does the sanitized mean_ **

Pissed™:  **_UR MOM_ **

Sacred memeist: time to stop

Pissed™: whatever

Roblox phase: ur not my mom

Sacred memeist: Im like the only other waman in this group and the other one is not responsible

Sober: i harsda you tlkian shit abouts me

Sacred memeist: further proves my point

Get help: You set a firecracker in a room and also got stuck in a tree, believing you can fly with 25 kites.

Sacred memeist:  **_Ouch._ **

Pissed™: i can feel the heat of the burn through the screen

Get help: Can you now?

Pissed™: fbi the children has ran wild

Sacred memeist: rip

 

**WHERES THE LAMB SAUSE** **  
** **9:54 AM** **  
**

The bears ar e coming: @Soup kitchen Search up “Concerned Mother” on YT

Soup kitchen: k

Soup kitchen:  _ bruh  _ WHERE DO yOu FIND THIS CONTENT   


The bears are coming: I crossed the dark side of YT for yall

The bears are coming:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQO-aOdJLiw ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQO-aOdJLiw)

Soup kitchen: fUcK

Plural: traumatized

Plural: will not look at sheep the same way again

The fucking doctors: wait is his tail supposed to be like that

Zombie Barbie: idk i dont do sheepology

The fucking doctors: I am 101% sure that isnt the word for it

Zombie Barbie: Ima bad bitch and you cant kill me

The fucking doctors: I wont kill you I will suck you dry

Sans Whisperer: that is a threat and you should run

Zombie Barbie: noted

Sans Whisperer: This sentence has been used before which is why the er is involved

The bears are coming: she commits cannibalism

The bears are coming: im sure shes not joking

The fucking doctors:  _ raw _

Soup kitchen: shit

Plural:  _ great info to know _

Zombie Barbie:  _ i know right _

Plural: Did you just do what I thought you did

Soup kitchen:  _ yes _

Plural:  **_Come here. I just want to talk._ **

Soup kitchen: shit

Sans Whisperer: what happened

Soup kitchen:  _ he looked _

The bears are coming: oh shit  _ he looked _

Soup kitchen: shithescoming

The bears are coming: f

The fucking doctors: f

Sans Whisperer: f

Zombie Barbie: f

 

**the rent is paid**

**10:21 AM**

dead inside: random question

Lesbianb #1: what is the question

dead inside: How does logic work

Lesbianb #1: We are not having this conversation again

 

**3:00 AM** **  
**

dead inside: Do chargers have wet dreams about phones

Its time to stop:  **_Your mandatory flight to hell departs in 10 seconds, please board the fucking plane now_ **

dead inside: okay time to leave

 


	16. The cult begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how do i still have content
> 
> Also I have discovered how to put images, so prepare for hell  
> Forward warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a problem with the pics lmao

**Mental Hospital**

**5:20 PM** **  
**

Sober: hows life

Sacred memeist: sucks

Pissed™: I want to fucking die

Roblox phase: been there done that

Sans Whisperer: i am still suffering internally and externally

Get help: I have yet to find out the meaning of life.

Sober: i see that your statuses are well

 

**6:00 PM** **  
**

Pissed™: scratch that im already died

Roblox phase: stop

Sober: *already dead

Pissed™: nvm i just came back to life to kill vodka

Sober: this is my cue to leave isn’t it

Sans Whisperer: present your criminal record please

Sober: 132 robberies 546 vandalism and 120 drug dealing

Pissed™: nice

Pissed™: I had only 150 murders

Sober: repeat that again im sorry what

Pissed™: what idk what your talking about

Sacred memeist: tis time to stop

Roblox phase: i beg

Sober: _THEN BEG PEASANT_ _  
_

Pissed™: **THEN BEG PEASANT**

Sans Whisperer: its kind of concerning that they said that the exact same time

Sober: i have no clue

Pissed™: what you’re talking about

Sober: .

Get help: Stop. Before I exceed my limit where I commit homicide.

Sober: oh shit

Pissed™: have mercy

Roblox phase: he can be scary

Sans Whisperer: i know

Sacred memeist: just for safety

_Sacred memeist has locked the chat for 1 hours_

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**7:12 PM**

Sober: @Get help is that you rapping on the door

Get help: Yes.

Get help:I already told you I’m committing homicide.

Sober: spare my life 

Get help: No.

Sober: shit rong chat

End me: HE WHAT

the sanitized: @He need some milk @That’s the mf tea @Monika sector 17 has a disturbance

That’s the mf tea: yes sir

He need some milk: yessir

Monika: yes, sire.

End me: hand over your weapon

Get help: Make me.

End me: look this is serious knives are not something to wave around

Get help: I’m doing it anyways.

Get help: I’m a bad bitch, and you can’t kill me.

End me: fucking hell

End me: @the sanitized help

Smol Sinner: whats tis

Smol Sinner: is someone committing homicide again

End me: yes

Sober: IM FUCKING TRAMATIZED

Sober: H E L P

Sans Whisperer: look

Sans Whisperer: accept your fate

Sans Whisperer: your criminal record is in our chat and there is nothing we can do

Sober: fuck you that was fake

Sober: its wayyy worse

Kink Shaming: can confirm

Weed duck: speaking of that

Weed duck: i need assistance yuxiang has lost it

Sober: what is it this time

Hey sisters: please dont let it be the you know what

Weed duck: naw

Hey sisters: oh thank god

Weed duck: its much worse

Monika: so what happened

Weed duck: walking down the street

Weed duck: someone called her not a stoner

Weed duck: got so triggered she want a fight

Weed duck: had to drag her home

Weed duck: then I drugged her to sleep so she would stop screaming

Monika: the fuck

Weed duck: you are speaking to the person that broke people out of the national prison

Monika: fair

Monika: what do you need

Weed duck: for her to be separated from society

Sans Whisperer: ive already tried and it failed

Sans Whisperer: dont bother trying

Weed duck: thank you for the information

Weed duck: change of plans dump the remains in the sewer

Weed aunt: fuck you i lived

Weed duck: _oh, welcome._

Weed duck: **Did you speak too soon, is the real question.**

Weed aunt: **_Did I?_ **

Weed duck: **_You want to find out?_ **

Weed aunt: **_An eye for an eye, you want?_ **

Weed duck: **_What if that’s all I wanted in the first place?_ ** **_  
_ **

Weed aunt: **_Feel the remorse._ **

Weed duck: **_Feel the pain._ **

Weed aunt: **So.**

Weed aunt: **Shall we start?**

Weed duck: **We shall.**

Kink Shaming: things are about to get spicy

Hey sisters: yes

Hey sisters: @everyone duel in the commons

Smol Sinner: omw

The Sinner: omw there w Cola Hamburger and Steak

Monika: squad is on its way

Sober: same here

Joker: omw

Salt pillar: dragging @sWee(d)t here with us

Kink Shaming: great everyones here

Kink Shaming: let the games begin

 

**9:00 PM** **  
**

Weed aunt: well played

Weed duck: rekt

Sober: good games

Smol Sinner: sick

#3 Sinner: help me

#3 Sinner: im 

#3 Sinner: @Smol Sinner the ykw happened

Smol Sinner: NO FUCING WAY

#3 Sinner: CHILL

#3 Sinner: i have the blackmail already

Smol Sinner: I NEED TO SEE IN P E R S O N

He need some milk: god what is going on

Smol Sinner: TOO EPIC TO EXPLAIn

Smol Sinner: JUST

Smol Sinner: OKAY OKAY OKAY WHERE ARE THEY

#3 Sinner: Red’s room

Smol Sinner: i have the key

Smol Sinner: IF YOU RUIN IT I SWEAR TO GOD

#3 Sinner: chill i wont

fuck off im playing minecraft: why

fuck off im playing minecraft: just chillax wont you

Smol Sinner: NO

Smol Sinner: ITS A STEP CLOSER TO MY MASTER PLAN

That’s the mf tea: insert evil laughing

#3 Sinner: _LMAO_

Smol Sinner: alright

Smol Sinner: @fuck off im playing minecraft come erase the evidence

fuck off im playing minecraft: yes sir

_fuck off im playing minecraft has deleted all messages from the past 20 minutes_

Smol Sinner: thank you

Sober: that was

Sober: fuck it im not getting involved

Joker: gUYS

Joker: I HIT LEG CHAIR

Joker: ACTUAL Y HUTS 

Joker: PLEAS EHOKLT

Joker: AA  A A A A AAAAAA

He need some milk: this house needs more support

He need some milk: @sWee(d)t why do you never help

sWee(d)t: because

Salt pillar: because hes a little shit

sWeed(d)t: shut it

Salt pillar: n o

sWee(d)t: in all seriousness its because i get injured myself too much and can only support myself

He need some milk: i will not ask further 

sWee(d)t: good

Salt pillar: stop  giving excuses

Salt pillar: liar

sWee(d)t: if it was not for the laws of this land I would have fucking slaughered you

Salt pillar: you wanna go

sWee(d)t: no i dont wanna waste my energy on a lil shit like you

Sans Whisperer: is this what siblings do

sWee(d)t: yes

Salt pillar: yes

End me: sometimes

Get help: In certain situations.

Sans Whisperer: i see

Sober: actually

Weed aunt: no

Sober: it pains me to inform of the incident

Kink Shaming: ah yes the incident

Weed duck: oh shit here we go again

Hey sisters: d o n t

Sober: fine

Sober: but it gon happen some tiiims

Weed aunt: spell

Sober: no

Sacred memeist: you cant force one to spell

Pissed™: _you want to know the answer to that_

Sacred memeist: _no please_

Roblox phase: so I lost my charger to my computer and it is dying really quickly

Roblox phase: PLEASE I NEED HELP

Sans Whisperer: deal with it

Roblox phase: I will 360 no scope you

Sober: technically he can do that

Sans Whisperer: oh really

Get help: The execution rate of of a firing squad is 100%.

Sans Whisperer: ALRIGHT ITS SETTLED IM COMING

Roblox phase: thank you for the assist

Get help: You’re welcome.

Pissed™: change of plans

Pissed™: I have the gun

Sans Whisperer: oh okay

Roblox phase: fuck you

Pissed™: **DO IT YOURSELF, COWARD**

Sacred memeist: napoleon.exe has stopped working

Pissed™: i have found the weakness

Pissed™: evil laughter

Smol Sinner: OwO

Sacred memeist: OwO

Sans Whisperer: CAN WE NOT CHILL ON THE O*OS 

Sacred memeist: no

Smol Sinner: fuck no

Sober: love how he censored it

the sanitized: you have to censor the o*o or else you become a furry weeb

Sober: valid

Sober: stop being a u*u o*o furry weeb

Sacred memeist: excuse me what did you just call me

Sober: A **_FURRY WEEB_ **

Sober: YOU HEARD ME

Sacred memeist: im

Sacred memeist: ADD THAT TO THE OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS

Smol Sinner: YESSIR

#3 Sinner: the documents

#2 Sinner: _the documents_

fuck off im playing minecraft: _the_ **_documents_ **

The Sinner: _The. Documents._

Smol Sinner: **_THE FUCKING DOUMENTS_ ** **_  
_ **

Monika: **_WHAT DOCUMENTS_ ** **_  
_ **

Smol Sinner: @#3 Sinner grab the copy i am educating 

#3 Sinner: YESSIR  
Smol Sinner: @everyone do you know of the documents

Get help: No.

Sans Whisperer: uh no

Smol Sinner: COME TO MY ROOM ITS MANDATORY

Get help: Sure.

Sans Whisperer: if it doesnt involve murder then sure

Smol Sinner: just hurry up

Smol Sinner: before I come here myself

Sans Whisperer: fair

 

**Hell**

**12:01 AM**

The Sinner: ah yes another day closer to death

The Sinner: when is the gathering

The Sinner: shit wrong chat

Smol Sinner: fuck @#3 Sinner pay up hes emo

#3 Sinner: nani the fuck how

The Sinner: came here to not have a good time and im honestly feeling the moment

#2 Sinner: cola is fucking blind

Least Sinned: I even saw it

#3 Sinner: this is bullying

Smol Sinner: no

#3 Sinner: why not

Smol Sinner: BECAUSE WE’RE

Least Sinned: TIGHTER THAN

The Sinner: BARK ON A 

#2 Sinner: **_TREE_ **

#3 Sinner: oh okay

#3 Sinner: this is why we dont and should not get attached to youtubers

#2 Sinner: true true

#2 Sinner: because now my head is filled with S A N T I A G O

The Sinner: shit same here

The Sinner: I blame gingerbread

Smol Sinner: I will take the blame

#3 Sinner: for the first time yes

Smol Sinner: shut your up

#3 Sinner: no

Smol Sinner: you have to the author is writing on ipad and it pains

The Sinner: FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN PEOPLE STOP BREAKING TE WALJ

Least Sinned: hes lost it 

#2 Sinner: f

Smol Sinner: f

The Sinner: I mean what I said

Least Sinned: we should get that by now consisting the countless murders

#3 Sinner: wait as in injuries or actual deaths

The Sinner: yes

#3 Sinner: shit were all dead

#2 Sinner: HA HA HA comedy

#2 Sinner: but seriously I think were fucked

The Sinner: the abyss is welcoming you all

Smol Sinner: 

Smol Sinner: fuck it

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**12:23 AM**

Kink Shaming: whomst the fuck is blasting mcr at this hour

Smol Sinner: me

Smol Sinner: I have joined the cult

The Sinner: you have

Smol Sinner: idc what you say im in

The Sinner: thats nice

The Sinner: what song

Smol Sinner: Helena

The Sinner: the good shit

The Sinner: im crashing your room

Joker: I didnt consent to this

Smol Sinner: well do you

Joker: yes

Smol Sinner: great

Smol Sinner: get your ass over here

Sober: shut the fuck up dipshits

 

**Hell**

**12:30 AM** **  
**

Smol Sinner: the nights of not being asleep is kicking into my system

#3 Sinner: same

Least Sinned: same

#2 Sinner: same

The Sinner: yeah we are going to be up all night

The Sinner: vodka roams so I barely get sleep anyways

#3 Sinner: _lmao_

#2 Sinner: I have no idea what B-52 is doing

#2 Sinner: but its keeps people up at night

Least Sinned: they probably be fucking

#3 Sinner: **gasp**

Smol Sinner: dont say that about the children

The Sinner: the most kid like out of all of us is you

Smol Sinner: like as in this chat

The Sinner: yes

The Sinner: appearance wise

Smol Sinner: now were talkin

Smol Sinner: Im not even offended/mad

Smol Sinner: Congratulations you are now considered as a friend in my factor

The Sinner: oh yes my first friend

#2 Sinner: this is depressing to watch

The Sinner: shut your up

The Sinner: do you have friends

Least Sinned: yes

#3 Sinner: yes

#2 Sinner: yes

#3 Sinner: ayyyyyy

The Sinner: got me there

Smol Sinner: error 404 mommy mai twinkies es broken!!!!!

Least Sinned: get out

The Sinner: you **twink**

#3 Sinner: _wheeze_

Least Sinned: says the twinkest one of them all

#3 Sinner: directed to who

Least Sinned: not you

#3 Sinner: oh nice

Least Sinned: you are the second twink

#3 Sinner: wow.

The Sinner: are you implying that im a twink

Least Sinned: **yes**

#2 Sinner: we are not having this conversation right now

#2 Sinner: im going to

The Sinner: going to what

#2 Sinner: **_ur mum gae_ **

The Sinner: **gasp**

The Sinner: **fuck you just say to me**

The Sinner: I will do it.

#2 Sinner: sure

The Sinner: **T** **he fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 450 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.**

Smol Sinner: fun fact he knows it word by word

#2 Sinner: I should have seen that coming

#3 Sinner: **IS THAT A CHALLENGE**

The Sinner: **YES** **  
** Least Sinned: **OH YES**

Least Sinned: **What the fuck did you just fucking say about my gear, you little n00b? I’ll have you know I am a lvl 90 Undead Arcane Mage, and I’ve won so many PVP matches, and I have done raids on every 10 man heroic dungeon. I also have a fuckton of macros and I have a GS of 10K. You are nothing to me but just a lvl 12 gnome hunter. I will pwn the fuck out of you with Arcane Missiles the likes of which has never been seen before on Azeroth AND Outland, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over raid? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my guild of mages and shamans across The Eastern Kingdoms and your character is being targeted right now so you better prepare for the ownage, n00b. The Arcane Barrage that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your character. You’re fucking pwn'd, n00b. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my secondary talent tree. Not only am I extensively trained in Arcane magic, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Fire magic and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable neckbeard off the face of Azeroth, you little faggot. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re getting debuffed, you goddamnn00b. I will shit Dragon's Breath all over you and you will burn in it. You’re fucking pwn’d, bitch.**

Smol Siner: dayum boi

#2 Sinner: tis taking Cola a long time to copy and paste

Least Sinner: hes typing it out

The Sinner: well that sucks

#3 Sinner: **Fuck you just say to me, little noob? I’ll have you know I am ranked first in every Minecraft multiplayer server, can enchant a prop 5 diamond set under 2 seconds, and can kill the Ender Dragon and Wither within a minute. With leather armor and a wooden sword. I have 100% bow accuracy, and I can one shot your sorry ass under a second. I can set up a monster farm while you’re mining fucking trees.** **The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start. You hear that? That’s my war call to send my army of mobs after you. The creepers would by fully charged. Spiders are replaced with cave spiders. I have the Baby Zombies ready. Skeleton would be skeleton warriors. The blazes are going to fucking blow your little noob house. Be fucking prepared, bitch.**

Smol Sinner: Yeah you clearly thought of the last one yourself 

Least Sinned: you dont fool us

#3 Sinner: well fuck

#2 Sinner: you tried I guess

#3 Sinner: i play minecraft too much

The Sinner: dont we all

The Sinner: THE FITNESSGRAM PACER TEST

#2 Sinner: IS A MULTISTAGE AEROBIC CAPACITY TEST THAT

#3 Sinner: PROGRESSIVELY GETS MORE DIFFICULT AS IT CONTINUES.

Least Sinned: i am not joining this

Smol Sinner: second that

The Sinner: heathens

The Sinner: what did you get on the pacer test

Smol Sinner: like a 24 

#3 Sinner: PFFT  
Least Sinned: he got a 2 

#2 Sinner: nani the fuck

#3 Sinner: you got a 55 

Least Sinned: yes I did

#2 Sinner: 69 for me

The Sinner: you always get 69

#2 Sinner: you have a problem with that

The Sinner: maybe

#2 Sinner: 📞 📞 HELLO TWITCH? 📞 THIS YUGIOH THINGY 📞 KEEPS INTERRUPTING 📞 MY AD MARATHON 📞

The Sinner: can you mayhaps fucking not

Smol Sinner: no

Smol Sinner: 

Least Sinned: MMMMMMM YES

The Sinner: No, not at all Karen

Smol Sinner: Sadly i dont dig into the internet

The Sinner: 

#2 Sinner: DAMN

Smol Sinner: cue the illuminati music

Least Sinned: i cant believe a group chat with only kids is allowed

#3 Sinner: wait are none of us 18?

#2 Sinner: almost.

#3 Sinner: oh you’re fucked

#2 Sinner: 

Smol Sinner: fucking mood

Smol Sinner: is this what we're going to be doing for the rest of the night

#3 Sinner: yes

Least Sinned: 

The Sinner:  _gasp_

The Sinner: 

#3 Sinner: PFFT HAHAHAHAHA

#3 Sinner: 

Least Sinner: appearance wise, aren't we classified as weebs?

#2 Sinner:  _fuck you just say to me_

Smol Sinner: 

#3 Sinner: I am offended

Least Sinned: if yall are just gonna do this, then I prove my point invalid

#3 Sinner: thank you

Least Sinned: 

The Sinner: and now I present, peppa pig on crack

The Sinner: 

#2 Sinner: shit we have crossed the line

#3 Sinner: press it further

#3 Sinner: 

Smol Sinner: no

The sinner: that's a pro gamer move

#3 Sinner: *gaymer

Smol Sinner: 

#2 Sinner: im wheezing so hard that I literally fell from my chair

Least Sinned: 

Least Sinned: that's you?

#2 Sinner: yes that's me

Least Sinned: tbh we should go the fuck to sleep strapped in

#3 Sinner: no take this

#3 Sinner: 

Least Sinned: oh fuck the card

The Sinner: alright stop

The Sinner: this is more valid

The Sinner: 

#2 Sinner: alright then

#2 Sinner:  _WHOMST'D FUCK SPENT MY ROBUX_  
  
Smol Sinner: No clue

Smol Sinner: OH YES BRITNEY SPEARS

#3 Sinner: the good shit?

Smol Sinner: yes

Least Sinned: fuck this im going to bed

 

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**7:09 AM** **  
**

Smol Sinner: this entire night we just spammed each other with twitch quotes copy and pasted and random shitty pictures we found online

Sober: sounds like good shit

The Sinner: it was until _someone_ started to spam so hard our message app crashed

The Sinner: _ahem_ @#3 Sinner

#3 Sinner: i tried to spam 69 thinking emojis but it didnt work

The Sinner: 69 is the sacred number ill let you pass

#3 Sinner: oh yes

fuck off im playing minecraft: what a turn of events

fuck off im playing minecraft: also how does one cure slicng your lips on a broken glass cup

He need some milk: do you need help

fuck off im playing minecraft: yes

fuck off im playing minecraft: there SHARDS

#3 Sinner: yeah I hear you screaming

He need some milk: omw

sWee(d)t: why is everyone getting injured

Weed aunt: fuck it

Weed aunt: @Weed duck im adding him

Weed duck: hes going to be pissed

Weed duck: but hes a damn good healer

Weed aunt: i dont give a fuck

_Weed aunt has added Damn Nerd to the chat_

_Weed aunt has locked Damn Nerd to the chat_

Damn Nerd: What have you done.

Weed aunt: Welcome to hell there are many people here getting killed and injured we need more backup

Damn Nerd: That sucks

_Damn Nerd has muted the chat_

Weed aunt: we got another

sWee(d)t: whomst

Weed duck: our secret weapon to which why me and Yuxiang have not perished yet

sWee(d)t: oh 

sWee(d)t: then be good

Weed duck: yes

Weed duck: @Damn Nerd how many times have we gotten injured before getting summoned

Damn Nerd: 4109 minor, 1254 major, and 1 death

Weed aunt: you see

Weed aunt: the death was me

Weed duck: i took care of that one

Weed aunt: please dont spill our dark backstory

Weed duck: nah not gonna happen

Salt Pillar: I am mildly concerned

Kink Shaming: they’re fine

Sober: Yuxiang’s ranted numerous times about her near death

Weed duck: Oh wow 

Weed aunt: im sorry but I lied

Damn Nerd: She did

Weed aunt: I dead 

Weed aunt: then duck brought me back

Weed duck: boom boom pew pew pow

Sober: sometimes I sometimes think the stone took away his sanity as well

Weed duck: look that shit was hard to get so i dont know happened

Kink Shaming: This is the public chat lets take tis conversation elsewhere

Weed aunt: yes

 

**Duck’s Sanity**

**8:03 AM**

_Weed aunt has added Damn Nerd to the chat_

_Weed aunt has locked Damn Nerd to the chat_

Weed: this is our shrine

Damn Nerd: I see

_duck bitch has changed Damn Nerd’s name to Virgin_

duck bitch: from the meme

Virgin: im searching it up

Virgin: For some reason that perfectly describes me

duck bitch: ikr

drunk aunt: so whos this

Virgin : Plum Juice

Weed: he sadly has not been summoned yet

Virgin: I am at our homeland

duck bitch: THE MOTHERLANDS

10/10 would not recommend: thats sad

Kink Shaming: rip

Weed: ive praying every night for you to join us eventually

Virgin: I don’t know whether to thank you or tell you to stop

duck bitch: neither is good

Weed: dont talk me to me ever again

Virgin: The incident is still on record

Weed: NO  
Weed: DONT YOU DARE

Virgin: I WILL USE IT TO MY ADVANTAGE

10/10 would not recommend: am I the only person confused here

drunk aunt: nah

Kink Shaming: nah

Virgin: I am halfway across the globe you can come get me if you’d like

Weed: fuuuccckkkk

Virgin: I now regret getting a phone

duck bitch: what you talkin bout we are the bestest of friends

Virgin: Sure

Virgin: _Sure_

Weed: dont hurt my wounds like that

Virgin: Guess I’ll die

10/10 would not recommend:

10/10 would not recommend: I need explanation of whats going on

drunk aunt: **_UWU_ **

10/10 would not recommend: please DONT

Kink Shaming: I will come and choke you

drunk aunt: come at me bitch

Virgin: Time to alert the officials.

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**8:30 AM**

Damn Nerd: Sector 2 has a disturbance

sWee(d)t: oh shit

He need some milk: Im omw

Damn Nerd: I shall spectate

Monika: you need assistance

He need some milk: I might Its sector 2

Damn Nerd: The disturbance is caused by Sector 5

Monika: okay no

Monika: Im coming

Salt Pillar: do you people have your own language or something

Damn Nerd: Yes

Monika: it was developed so that we can prevent murders

He need some milk: i dont like this job

sWee(d)t: i retired years ago

He need some milk: _well you need to unretire_

sWee(d)t: cant do ashley

Salt Pillar: he’s too lazy for his own good

sWee(d)t: ikr

Monika: I have arrived at Sector 2

Monika: It’s a bad one, Ashley

He need some milk: copy that, Karen

He need some milk: Chad please just do something

sWee(d)t: no

He need some milk: Bob we need mental support

Damn Nerd: Sure

Sans Whisperer: what even is happening

Weed aunt: they are speaking the language of the Support Class™

Monika: yes

Weed duck: Karen I am off the side of emotional support and I am currently initiating stage 1

Weed aunt: wait the fuck

Monika: Copy that, Michael

Monika: oh yeah duck is part of our cult

Monika: he is useful at some situations

Weed duck: _yes thank you_

Weed aunt: damn it im not trained enough to do it

Weed duck: _then do it until ya got it right_

Weed aunt: how encouraging

Weed duck: I state the obvious

Sans Whisperer: whenever you two text my screen is just filled with the word “weed”

Weed aunt: oh _really_

Weed duck: Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed Weed

Weed aunt: please

Weed duck: no

Sans Whisperer: my eyes

Sans Whisperer: this is like one of those spot the ____ things

Weed duck: fInD wEeD

Sans Whisperer: oH lOoK i fOuNd iT

Weed duck: wOw yOu aRe sMorT

Monika: The Issue has been resolved

Damn Nerd: Oh it has

Sober: fuck me neck

Kink Shaming: your death was for the greater good

Monika: _UR DAD LESBIAN_ _  
_

Kink Shaming: did you really have to pull that card

Monika: yes

That’s the mf tea: hi yes lesbian here

He need some milk: who pulled the lesbian card

Monika: me

He need some milk: Karen Im proud of you

Monika: Thank you

 

**The Support Cult(And Duck)**

**8:42 AM**

Karen: We have a chat now?

Chad: Yes

Bob: Yes

Michael: Yes

Michael: I approve of the name

Ashley: Its DESIGNER

Chad: I sure hope it was 

Bob: Don’t

Karen: Im taking the fucking children

Ashley: There’s only one child

Ashley: And the other cult owns him

Karen: fuck

Bob: You know what might be a card that is same as the Lesbian card, but just a little more powerful?

Michael: Bob no

Bob: The Sex Talk™

Ashley: OH FUCK

Chad: Dont 

Michael: The pain of even writing the talk would be painful enough

Michael: I wont even force my fingers to type it

Michael: Or even force myself to speak

Chad: Well thats tragic

Chad: I shall pull the card

Karen: Why

Chad: You’re talking to someone with a younger brother

Ashley: Oh I feel bad

Chad: It came out more explicitly than I implied

Ashley: _now i really feel bad_

Chad: It can be our emergency card

Michael: Use it when people want to suffer

Karen: YES

Karen: I shall watch them suffer

Ashley: We need a system where the others see it but then we don’t see the text

Ashley: I dont wanna suffer

Chad: I shall contact tech support

Chad: brb

 

**sWee(d)t >>>> Sans Whisperer**

Question

Answer

Can you mayhaps make a text blocking program where certain people cant see the text

We’re planning cult activity 

If you can do it ill give you the details

So it’s like a program to block out texts for selected contacts, while showcasing it to others?

I can do that 

But I need some specifics if I want to make it really work

Ill contact the others to check the specifics

Thanks

You are the welcome

 

**The Support Cult(And Duck)**

**9:00 AM** **  
**

Chad: tech support says yes

Chad: just need some specifics

Michael: Me and Bob will hand the specifics later

Chad: great

Bob: Im already working on it

Bob: Ill send you it later

Michael: _WHY CANT YOU BE SUMMONED_ _  
_

Bob: I DON’T KNOW 

Ashley: nani BOB ISNT SUMMONED

Karen: Tragedy

Chad: the true tragedy

Karen: I contacted MA

Karen: She said shes close

Bob: That’s nice.

Michael: OH YES

Michael: thank the lord

Karen: Thank everyone

Ashley: Bob is joining us

Ashley: _yes_

Bob: I shall physically and mentally prepare for hell

Chad: Bob knows whats up

Bob: Ur Sister A Mister

Chad: _Ouch_

Michael: Stop pulling cards on each other

Ashley: I declare war on Karen

Chad: ohhh yes

Karen: You’re on

Michael: Clear the fields

Bob: Yes sir

Karen: I SUMMON THE NARUTO RUNNERS

 

**Duck’s Sanity**

**9:12 AM** **  
**

duck bitch: the cult war is currently in progress

Virgin: Yes

Virgin: We cleared the area so we’re here now

Weed: oh shit the cult war

Weed: Inter or outer

duck bitch: inter

Weed: f

Kink Shaming: Cult War: The booming Saga

drunk aunt: _LMAO_

drunk aunt: Start the cult activity

10/10 would not recommend: I shall take no part in this

drunk aunt: fair

Virgin: Keep me on video call to get me updated

Weed: Oh yeah your strats were the BEST

Virgin: It’s called reading

Weed: my brain dont do that

Virgin: That's sad

Kink Shaming: SPARE ME SOME OATS BROTHER I AM STARVING

drunk aunt: no

10/10 would not recommend: no

Weed: the cult has backfired on you

Kink Shaming: iknow

10/10 would not recommend: WELL I WOULD SPARE YOU MY OATS IF I HAD AND IN THE FIRST PLACE

drunk aunt: BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I HAD ANY OATS IN THE FIRST PLACE

Kink Shaming: i feel slightly better

Kink Shaming: LETS GET THIS BREAD

10/10 would not recommend: YES

drunk aunt: YES

Virgin: Is this what you do on a daily basis

Weed: yes

duck bitch: fuck yes

drunk aunt: hourly basis


	17. is water wet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its answered, sort of

**WHERES THE LAMB SAUSE** **  
** ****

**4:20 AM**

Soup kitchen: I feel high

The bears are coming: Look at the time

Soup kitchen: you have a point

Plural: WHO ATE MY WEED CAKES   


The bears are coming: forget what I said

Sans Whisperer: the issue has been resolved

Soup kitchen: fuck

Soup kitchen: WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE WEED CAKES EVERYWHERE

Plural: BECAUSE IM FUCKING HIGH   


Soup kitchen: WELL SO AM I   


Plural: I WAS HIGH BEFORE YOU   


Soup kitchen: good point

Sans Whisperer: well you see you people are not responsible so dont expect someone to tell the difference of weed cakes from normal ones

The bears are coming: the society needs more of these people

The fucking doctors: well that aint happening because the dumbass production raised by 14%

Zombie Barbie: was this calculated

The fucking doctors: yes

Zombie Barbie:  _ why _

The fucking doctors:  **_math_ **

The fucking doctors: partially because of the author’s calculator in the distance

The bears are coming: Do I need to put a restraint on the fourth wall

The fucking doctors: dont you dare

The bears are coming: watch me

Zombie Barbie: Update: He did

The bears are coming: the fourth wall is now glued

Sans Whisperer: with what brand

The bears are coming: The glue that I made

Zombie Barbie: No way

Zombie Barbie: I cant believe youve done this

Sans Whisperer: further explanations blease

The bears are coming: so i like brought every brand of glue i can think of and mixed them together with concrete

The bears are coming: which brings us to the current situation

Sans Whisperer: understandable have a nice day

 

**AHEE HEE HEE** **  
** ****

**5:00 AM** **  
**

blease: today is the day

Edgelord: oh shat

Likewise: fun fact he lost a bet he cant swear but I see that he has found a loophole

Edgelord: yes I did

blease: sad

I feast on ur tears: im getting the vibe

Karen: same here

blease: are you sure about that

Karen: speaking from the person who has been with you for 17 years

Karen: I think I have a good idea of what you’re trying to do

blease: i request for my dignity

Edgelord: you dont have any fiacking dignity in the first place

_ likewise has changed Edgelord’s name to Fiacking Edgelord _

_ Fiacking Edgelord has changed likewise’s name to Piece of Shat _

I feast on ur tears: sibling rivalry

_ I feast on ur tears has changed their name to Biach _

Biach: we’ve christionaed this family

Karen: spell

Biach: no

Fiacking Edgelord: bold of you to think that we spel

Karen: Iam boldman wym

blease: you ran away froma mouse

Karen: we dont speakof that

blease: at this family wedont use spaces

Fiacking Edgelord: ohreallybecasueithinkyourpointisinvalid

blease: thisends now

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**6:00 AM**

Get help: Fuck

Sans Whisperer: oh shit did you do it

Get help: Yes I did   


Sober: WHAT HAPPENED   


Sans Whisperer: he infused a bottle of water with ghost peppers and drank it in one(1) sitting

Get help: Instart regret

Get help: I need basically everything

Sober: do you need ice

Get help: I need everything

Weed duck: @He need some milk your username

He need some milk: well hes fucked

He need some milk: omw

That’s the mf tea: this aint it

_ Damn Nerd has unmuted the chat _

Damn Nerd: Clearly this house has problems

Damn Nerd: I need to see this

Weed aunt: t h a n k s

Weed aunt: random question

Damn Nerd: Random answer

Weed aunt: how’s the motherlands doing

Weed duck: is it still in jeopardy or is it better after the ahem big incident

Damn Nerd: Scale would be 158, Right 23 and Left 190

Weed aunt: bruh you serious

Weed duck:  _ lemme at em _

Weed aunt: Wednesday, 3PM, we are returning to collect you

Damn Nerd: Today’s Wednesday

Weed aunt: tues for us

Weed duck: get the jet ready we going

Sans Whisperer: I will not question

End me: I will pretend that didnt happen

the sanitized: the death has revived to see this moment

the sanitized: also @End me I have the funds

End me: finally

the sanitized: hold up gimme a min

End me: i have a bad feeling about this

Sans Whisperer: did you project yt rewind on the projector

That’s the mf tea: my eyes

Joker: I am having the chills™

Pissed™: the goosebumps are coming

Pissed™: god has forsaken us

Joker: oh fuck the cringe

Joker: I want pewds

Salt Pillar: same here

Salt Pillar: fuck it im hacking the projector

Salt Pillar: pewdiepie marathon in the meeting room

sWee(d)t: for once you have made a good decision

Salt Pillar: why do I have a sibling

sWee(d)t: i ask myself that too

Sober: tragic

End me: I mainly took him in because I should anyways

Get help: We do share many similarities in appearances.

the sanitized: we also peer pressured him every day until he did it

End me: @Monika 

Monika: I would not deny nor confirm

the sanitized: confirm, because you aint getting out of this alive

Monika: wow

Monika: thanks

 

**Duck’s Sanity**

**6:34 AM**

drunk aunt: so.

drunk aunt: I know its one of you do not try to deny it

Virgin: what

drunk aunt: some fuckass is playing baby one more time into a bluetooth speaker and I cant find it

 

**The Sinner >>> Sober**

 

Found the speaker yet

Nah

Im going insane though

Same

Im trying to find out who did it

Oh good luck on that

Ill keep looking

This is why roommates are a thing

 

**Duck’s Sanity**

**6:40 AM**

drunk aunt: we’re suffering

duck bitch: we?

drunk aunt: Red and I live together

duck bitch: I see

drunk aunt: PLEASE   


drunk aunt: im consulting the group chat

10/10 would not recommend: oh no

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**6:41 AM**

Sober: who put the speaker

Sober: Im asking here since boston and yu are lurking 

Weed aunt: Well im sorry I gotta lurk

Weed aunt: lemme lurk

Sober: never

#3 Sinner: right so that was me

#3 Sinner: and I SWEAR its an accident

#2 Sinner: what makes it an accident

#3 Sinner: my sanity

#2 Sinner: valid

Smol Sinner: never heard of that word

Smol Sinner: the fuck is sanity

Sober: lmao ikr

The Sinner: found it

The Sinner: @#3 Sinner where is power button

#3 Sinner: left side

#3 Sinner: drop it off at my room ples

The Sinner: k

 

**8:07 AM** **  
**

Joker: hey so uh random question

Joker:  _ Is water wet _

sWee(d)t: you have doomed us all

Sober: HELL NO

Sober: how the fuck is water wet  _ huh _

Kink Shaming: if you pour water on water the water is wet

Pissed™: but then they just combine together because they are the same element

Sans Whisperer: water is the substance that makes other things wet?

Weed aunt: I KNOW   


Weed duck: but if you like pour some juice on an item it would also be wet

Weed duck: technically all basic liquids make others wet

fuck off im playing minecraft: but is water itself wet

fuck off im playing minecraft: if water itself isnt wet then how does it spread the wetness to other things

Smol Sinner: why are we even having this conversation

Joker: IS WATER WET HAS BEEN ASKED TOO MANY TIMES   


Joker: I WILL GET THE ANSWER SO I CAN END IT   


Smol Sinner: valid

Smol Sinner: combine all our salvaged brain cells and think

Roblox Phase: okay okay so

Roblox Phase: its like if you pour water on something and the thing absorbs or stays on

Sober: I know a simpler way 

Sober: @Sans Whisperer analysis

Sans Whisperer:  At its most basic, water is a molecule with one oxygen atom and two hydrogen atoms, bonded together by shared electrons. This hydrogen bond is the reason behind many of water's special properties, such as the fact that it's denser in its liquid state than in its solid state Water, being one of the most basic liquids, is unknown to be wet or not. But for example, lava, being one of the hottest liquids, is known to be wet. Water is a liquid, so in a way, it is wet. It is also important to see what type of “wet” we’re looking for.  If we define "wet" as the condition of a liquid sticking to a solid surface, such as water wetting our skin, then we cannot say that water is wet by itself, because it takes a liquid AND a solid to define the term "wet." If we define "wet" as a sensation that we get when a liquid comes in contact with us, then yes, water is wet to us. If we define "wet" as "made of liquid or moisture", then water is definitely wet because it is made of liquid, and in this sense, all liquids are wet because they are all made of liquids.

Roblox Phase: thank you for the word vomit

Sans Whisperer: you’re welcome

Get help: I guess it all comes down to perspective?

Get help: Water is made out of molecules, and when the molecules combine together, parts of water made the entire element wet.

Sans Whisperer: valid point

Weed duck: IS WATER WET   


Weed duck: @everyone VOTE

He need some milk: oh hell yes water is wet

That's the mf tea: nah

the sanitised: wet

Monika: what he said

End me: what she said

Monika: the trio stays together

End me: ofc

the sanitized: actual friends

Smol Sinner: nah

Smol Sinner: and I only have one friend

#3 Sinner: water is  _ wet _

Smol Sinner: friend machine broke

#3 Sinner: machine breaker broke

Smol Sinner: got me there

Sans Whisperer: water is  **wet**

Sans Whisperer: I have the statistics to prove it

Sober: another time

sWee(d)t: i am not participated in this

Salt Pillar: water isnt wet

Pissed™: I am troubled to see what route shall I take in this situation

Roblox Phase: why does that sound emo

Pissed™: idk what your talking about

Sacred Memeist: k he bacc

Sacred Memeist: but water isnt wet

Weed duck: okay you know what this is taking a long time

Weed duck: @everyone just think

Weed duck: word vomit all you want today we are figuring out if water is wet or not if its the last thing I or all of you here does

Joker: right

Joker: so water

Joker: summon rate of water and it’s stats pls

Roblox Phase: nani

Smol Sinner: its gamer talk

Smol Sinner: @Sans Whisperer full analysis on water please

Sans Whisperer: Water is a transparent, tasteless, odorless, and nearly colorless chemical substance, which is the main constituent of Earth's streams, lakes, and oceans, and the fluids of most living organisms. It is vital for all known forms of life, even though it provides no calories or organic nutrients. Water’s Density is 997 kg/m³, Molar Mass 18.01528 g/mol, Melting Point 32F, Boiling Point 212F. Water’s made of millions of compact molecules, each molecule made of one oxygen and two hydrogen atoms held together by strong covalent bonds. It is a chemical compound, and the term water often refers to the liquid state of the chemical.

#3 Sinner: love how B-52 is the only person that does research in this family

Sans Whisperer: I should be

Sans Whisperer: plus im good at it

Get help: Basically, according to the “word vomit” above, water is made of oxygen and hydrogen, none which resembles a liquid element. But the result do resemble a liquid.

Sans Whisperer: In the liquid form, the hydrogen atoms of one water molecule are attracted to the oxygen atom of another molecule. Each water molecule can form up to four of these hydrogen bonds and, collectively, they give water a cohesiveness unique in liquids.

Get help: Research done. So when the oxygen and hydrogen combine together, they form water?

Smol Sinner: perhaps

Smol Sinner: but if the molecules, or part of water touch each other they dont make water wet because hydrogen and oxygen doesnt make another item wet

Damn Nerd: I log onto this hell hole and the first thing i saw is people determining if water is wet

Kink Shaming: attempting yes

Kink Shaming: but are we talking about if water itself is wet?

Hey Sisters: back to perspective i suppose

Weed aunt: yeah like we need a research goal

Joker: whatever you want

Joker: the question is simple

Joker: is water wet

Joker: interpret it however you like

He need some milk: over half of us are grown adults and we’re discussing this

That’s the mf tea: its been over 30 minutes

the sanitized: fuck it im joining this conversation

the sanitized: @Monika @End me

End me: boston didnt you say if you pour water on water its technically wet

Pissed™: but isnt it the same element so it like combines together or some shit like that

Monika: but

the sanitized: if you pour a source of water into another, it would combine together, yes

End me: though if the water touches another one, the surface of the second source of water is wetted by the first source, resolving the water being wet, because when mixed together it makes itself wet

Kink Shaming: this is why we leave these things to the people with brain cells

Kink Shaming: thank you for explaining it

Pissed™: wait

Pissed™: OH   


Sacred memeist: but

Sacred memeist: yeah i get your point

Sacred memeist: but what if we dont pour one to another

Sacred memeist: like if i pour water into a bowl, mix it in the bowl, does the mixing make itself wet?

Roblox Phase: molecules of water is oxygen and hydrogen

Roblox Phase: hydrogen mixed together with oxygen and more hydrogen and oxygen doesnt make anything wet

Roblox Phase: does it?

Salt Pillar: isnt hydrogen like really light and oxygen is air

Salt Pillar: these two aint liquids

Salt Pillar: and I think non liquids dosent make things wet?

#2 Sinner: steam does

The Sinner: there’s water molecules in steam dumbass

#2 Sinner: I know that

The Sinner: sure you did

Damn Nerd: Ice also makes something wet

Damn Nerd: as soon as ice comes in contact with a temperature higher than the freezing point, it starts to melt, while also making shit wet

Joker: so were now discussing steam and ice

Sober: I heard ice

Kink Shaming: I heard steam

Sober: omfg wait

Sober: demo

Kink Shaming: y e s

Kink Shaming: @Weed duck @Weed aunt get over here to record the data

Sober: what about spice

Kink Shaming: she already knows what to do without anyone telling her

Hey Sisters: already at the base of operations   


Hey Sisters: I am the icon of all lesbians

He need some milk: lmao praise

That’s the mf tea: rip

That’s the mf tea: while theyre doing that

That’s the mf tea: do we have enough for if water is wet or not

Get help: We have not yet made a claim, and it would be best if you assist us in this matter.

That’s the mf tea: ofc uwu

That’s the mf tea: alright so we have the following evidence

That’s the mf tea: water poured on water counts as water making itself wet, but stirring the molecules and making them combine on their own does not. Have not fact checked that one

He need some milk: @Sans Whisperer

Sans Whisperer: If hydrogen and oxygen are mixed together at room temperature, nothing happens. ... Some oxygen and hydrogen atoms combine to form water molecules, releasing a large amount of energy. This energy speeds up more molecules, breaking more bonds and allowing more atoms to react, resulting in the explosion.

He need some milk: oh shit it explodes

Sans Whisperer: but that is only pure hydrogen and pure oxygen

Sans Whisperer: according to research

Sans Whisperer: When molecular hydrogen (H 2 ) and oxygen (O 2 ) are combined and allowed to react together, energy is released and the molecules of hydrogen and oxygen can combine to form either water or hydrogen peroxide. ... For both of the reactions shown, the hydrogen molecules are oxidized and the oxygen atoms are reduced.

Sans Whisperer: Hydrogen peroxide is a chemical compound with the formula H ₂O ₂. In its pure form, it is a very pale blue, clear liquid, slightly more viscous than water. Hydrogen peroxide is the simplest peroxide. It is used as an oxidizer, bleaching agent, and antiseptic. It is one of the hydrogen compounds.

That’s the mf tea: thank you

the sanitized: so mixing the molecules create a liquid either way

Monika: ya

Hey Sisters: shaking water does nothing

That’s the mf tea: but will it get wet

Pissed™: if you mix water molecules with water molecules together you get water molecules

Pissed™: oxygen and hydrogen make up water molecules, but water has the already made thing

Pissed™: like oxygen and hydrogen is already combined now its just water molecules 

Pissed™: so mixing them up is more water

#3 Sinner: but like if you pour water onto another surface it will wet the surface of the water before combining together

#3 Sinner: still water is like a stilled surface and if you pour water on a normal stilled surface the surface gets wet

The Sinner: so water reacts to water

The Sinner: what about other liquids

#2 Sinner: like what

Smol Sinner: anything

Smol Sinner: like oil mayhaps

Get help: The density of oil is lower than water, so it will float on top. But if you put oil in a container and pour water, the process when the oil floats to the top will make it wet, along with the contact of the splitting point of the container.

Get help: Apologies if my wording is incorrect, as I am exceptionally tired today.

Sans Whisperer: nah we get what you mean

The Sinner: so water interacts with everything

The Sinner: @Sober hows the demo going

Sober: almost good

Sober: but water does make something wet

Weed duck: water itself must be wet so it can spread the wetness to other objects

Weed duck: im pretty sure i already said this

Weed aunt: we’ve been discussing this for hour and half I cant seem to remember

Damn Nerd: what if

Damn Nerd: Water is neither wet or not wet, but there’s another term for identifying water’s wetness?

Weed aunt: you have set us back about 300 miles

Weed aunt: what will water identify as

Sober: no clue

Sober: but we melted shit and found this

Sober:  apparently ice&steam generated by us couldn’t wet anything

Kink Shaming: it was so weird to watch

Weed duck: wait

Weed duck: how does water make something wet

Weed duck: what is the chemistry in this

Sober: @Sans Whisperer

Sans Whisperer: In the sense of being a liquid which flows easily, because its viscosity is low, which is because its molecules are rather loosely joined together. Some objects have the right material to absorb the water, while others don't, but it also makes it wet

Weed duck: so it flows

Joker:  _ Is water  _ **_wet_ **

Weed duck: right we’re slightly off topic

Sans Whisperer: my point is

Sans Whisperer: water is neither wet or not wet

Sans Whisperer: it depends on how you look at the question

Sans Whisperer: perspective yknow

sWee(d)t: why is this conversation still going on

Salt Pillar: are you disappointed

sWee(d)t: very

Salt Pillar: does having a younger sibling increase disappointment

sWee(d)t: a lot

Weed duck: tragic

Weed aunt: but i must find the answer

#3 Sinner: you must find the wae

fuck off im playing minecraft: the way of if water is wet or not sounds depressing

#3 Sinner: shut

Smol SInner: nah man hes almost emo

fuck off im playing minecraft: dont know what youre talking about

The Sinner:  **_Is water WET_ ** **_  
_ **

Joker: thanks you

Sans Whisperer: this is a lot of chemistry on water and I dont like it

The Sinner: not my fault you guys started to get logical

Damn Nerd: I know how to end this

Damn Nerd: water is  **_damp_ **

Damn Nerd: water is also  **_moist_ **

Damn Nerd: the end

Weed aunt: thank you all for coming to the ted talk


	18. that meme that i forgot the name of ((Podcast))

*beep*

“You fucking heathens, log on now.”

*beep*   


“Would you look at that, the code worked”

“Our asses are all the way in Europe so the quality is going to be trash”

*beep*

“I mean, we must include all.”

Spaghetti: “Star and Black, put in your fucking usernames.”

Stargazy: “I’m doing that, chill”

BPudding: “Y’know, you need to chill on your attitude.”

Spaghetti: “No.”

*beep*

“Oh god the internet has ligma.”

BPudding: “LIGMA BALLS”   


Oysters: “No.”

Oysters: “Are you guy’s internet crashing?”   


BPudding: “No.”

Stargazy: “Nope!”

Spaghetti: “A bit.”

*beep*

*loud mic slamming*

Stargazy: “Oh FUCK”

Bifty: “Oh look at that this app allows you to put in your own user”

Bifty: “Where’s soup mom?”   


Spaghetti: “Texted me saying her Wifi’s crashing”

Spaghetti: “Give it a sec”

*beep*

“The Wifi is so bad I can kill myself right here right now.”

Borscht: “At least that’s over with.”

BPudding: “ _ MEMES _ ”

Bifty: “I have a second monitor, quality sheksophone will be playing in the background right...now.”

Spaghetti: “Two seconds in and we’re already on steroids.”

Borscht: “STEROIDS”   


Oysters: “I take steroids yes”

Stargazy: “Stop, because it’s annoying.”   


Bifty: “Our entire lives are annoying.”

Spaghetti: “Honestly, this is just a bunch of teenagers without adult supervision”

Spaghetti: “Borscht you don’t count as proper adult supervision, neither do I.”

Borscht: “That’s true yet rude.”

Spaghetti: “Mind you the last time I got dragged into a podcast got 1.2 million views in a month.”

Bifty: “Seriously?”

Bifty: “But we just ranted about life problems”

Oysters: “It’s a big mood.”

Oysters: “I watched that one.”   


Stargazy: “Yeah man, our Doritos always gets stolen.”

BPudding: “Sherksophone still going strong”

BPudding: “Good work.”

Bifty: “I know I’m great.”

Oysters: “Oop I forgot to say something.”

Oysters: “Hello guys, this is the podcast where major gays lurk. Let’s begin the TED talk.”

Borscht: *heavy breathing*

Spaghetti: *wheezing*

Stargazy: “I feel targeted”

BPudding: “I also feel  _ very  _ targeted”

Bifty: “Mood.”

Bifty: “Let me change the song.”

Bifty: *Loud keyboard typing*

BPudding: “You type so loud, my ears bleed.”

Stargazy: “Then turn down the volume.”

BPudding: “But the aesthetic!”

Stargazy: “None of us are paying for your hospital bills.”

Oysters: “Is that Take On Me?”

Oysters: “Never mind, that’s Mining Away.”

BPudding: “Please, that’s about the best song out there.”

Borscht: “If you disagree, I guess you gotta yeetus fetus, commit self deletus.”

Spaghetti: “Well spoken.”

Spaghetti: “Though I already want to commit self deletus when I was fucking born.”   


Oysters: “Mood.”

Bifty: “Fucking mood.”

Stargazy: “I am basically the undead.”

Borscht: “Yes.”

BPudding: “This is a podcast, and I will bring up topics for us to discuss.”

Bifty: “We have figured the question is water wet.”   


Bifty: “Our conclusion is that water is damp and moist.”

Oysters: “Well said.”

Oysters: “Next topic.”

Borscht: “If one says, your mom gay, then how are you born?”   


Stargazy: “Well-”

BPudding: “NO!”

Spaghetti: “She reads too much fanfictions.”

Bifty: “Living with about 20 people, I can say that desperate times take desperate measures.”

Spaghetti: “How tragic.”

Oysters: “Back to the topic.”

BPudding: “How about no?”

Oysters: “What about your dad lesbian?”   


Stargazy: “Oh those kinds are everywhere on the fandom.”

BPudding: “Fucking christ.”

BPudding: “Borscht, change the Wifi password.”

Stargazy: “You wouldn’t dare.”

Borscht: “After this podcast, I have the page pulled up.”   


Stargazy: “This is why you were given the room furthest from the Wifi.”

Spaghetti: “Ungrateful heathens.”

Spaghetti: “I pay for the fucking Wifi bill and you decide to set me up second furthest.”

Bifty: “This is now a rant session.”

Bifty: “Let’s start.”   


Bifty: “My neighbors keep using my personal Wifi to play Minecraft.”

Borscht: “That is  _ very  _ unfortunate.”

Borscht: “I missed the sale on Oreos.”

Stargazy: *dramatic gasp*

Stargazy: “ _ No. _ ”

Stargazy: “If only I wasn’t half dead, I’d go out and whoop your ass until you sanic speed into yesterday and brought it.”

BPudding: “She’s serious when it comes to snacks.”

Bifty: “Reminds me of someone.”

Borscht: “Ya like jazz?”

Spaghetti: “Do you particularly enjoy jazz music?”

Borscht: “You wanna go?”

Spaghetti: “Sure.”

Borscht: “I would like to inquire about your opinion regarding the combination of improvisation, swing notes, and ragtime rhythms in musical form.”

BPudding: “Oooh.”

Borscht: “Big brain.”

Bifty: “Wonder what Spaghetti will pull for this…”

Oysters: “The suspense is real.”

Stargazy: “I think he’s typing out a script.”

Spaghetti: “In regards to your personal opinion on topics relating to certain matters, do the musical patterns which features such known manners as swing notes, improvisation call and response vocals, and other such similar techniques of musical art under the influence of previously commonly used musical patterns such as Blues, folk, and tribal African and European musical combinations, create a joyful emotion that you experience ass you listen to this particular style of music work?”

Borscht: “No.”

Borscht: “Get out.”

Stargazy: “What are you doing in my swamp???”

Oysters: “What is the reason for your appearance in this marshland of mine?”

Borscht: “Not you too…”

Spaghetti: “Are you willing to speak your mind into the matter of the motivation whereas being present within the realms of wetlands covered with vegetation which I call ownership upon?”

Bifty: “Thou shalt state thy reason fault trespassing the wetland of my own!”

Borscht: “Game changing.”

Borscht: “I’ll find some interesting sentences online.”

Bifty: “Sounds great.”

Borscht: “Classic one.”

Borscht: “After this we’re doing another topic.”

Borscht “Gotta go fast.”

Stargazy: “You must pick up your pace.”

Borscht: “Okay. Next.”

BPudding: “It is essential for you to move swiftly.” 

Borscht: “Next.”

Oysters: “It is of utmost importance that your body is to be travelling across the land at a speed one would consider significantly higher than average.”

Borscht: “Next.”

Bifty: “Hold on.”

Spaghetti: “I need a lot more time.”

Bifty: “I’m good.”

Bifty: “You as an entity within our planet must have forces exerted on yourself in order to propel yourself forward in a manner one could describe as rapid or prompt, as it is vital to our existence. For without such ‘speed’ one would fail to assert our right as the entity on this planet most capable of propelling one’s self using the bones and flesh to accelerate at a rapid pace.”

Borscht: “Do I even want to know what Spaghetti has for this one?”

Spaghetti: “It’s too much for me to say in one sitting. So let’s move on.”

Borscht: “Thank god.”

Oysters: “I don’t think people are gonna find teenagers ranting a good topic.”

Spaghetti: “I’m naming this just teenagers ranting, nothing to see here. You have been warned.”

Stargazy: “Brilliant.”

Bifty: “I don’t know about y’all, but I sound like I just had 5 pounds of Weed.”

Oysters: “Eh, kinda.”

Bifty: “Ain’t that nice.”

Stargazy: “It’s 2019, we’re reckless shits that deals drugs every day.”

BPudding: “Put that on the quotes list.”

Spaghetti: “Recording’s been up to 40 minutes, I’m gonna end it.”

Stargazy: “Goodbye, humans!”

*beep*


	19. want sex?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you cant even read about people texting about sex, then dont  
> k

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**8:40 PM** **  
**

Sober: @Sans Whisperer saw the podcast and I felt left out

Kink Shaming: wow you did a podcast without us

Sans Whisperer: it was for premium dumbasses only

Sober:  **{Link}**

Kink Shaming: this is memeing but with knowledge

Kink Shaming: Well played

Sans Whisperer: Thats about the worst

Salt Pillar: well shit 

 

**please take your pills**

**9:00 PM**

dead inside: im sorry that all of you have to read this but you deserve the truth

Peacekeeper Monika: what

Its time to stop: oh NO   


dead inside: @That’s the mf tea @He need some milk blease stop fucking on my couch

dead inside: especially during my offtime

Peacekeeper Monika: PFFT   


Lesbianb 1: UNREQUIRED   


Its time to stop: THE ONLY REASON WHY I FOUND OUT IS BECAUSE ITS STICKY WHEN I CAME OVER TO PLAY MARIO KART

Peacekeeper Monika: OH MY GOD PLEASE   


Lesbianb 2: AT LEAST I HAVE A FUCKING SEX LIFE   


dead inside: good point

dead inside: but black tea I would  _ love  _ to switch rooms with you

Its time to stop: OH YE   


Peacekeeper Monika: ALL THREE OF US CAN BE TOGETHER    


dead inside: btw you guys can keep my couch so you can fuck and you dont have to fail at cleaning it up

Its time to stop: im crying omfg

Its time to stop: why is discussing peoples sex life so good

Lesbianb 1: its funner when you have one

Its time to stop: you have stepped the line

Lesbianb 2: there is no line

Peacekeeper Monika: is funner a word

Lesbianb 1: idfk

dead inside: ITS TRAUMATIZING WHEN YOU COME HOME AFTER YOUR PART TIME JOB FINDING YOUR ROOMMATE AND HER GEEF FUCKING AND NOT EVEN tRYING TO HIDE IT

Lesbianb 2: I HAVE PLEASURES   


Peacekeeper Monika: I just spit all over the screen

Its time to stop: saw that

Its time to stop: i mean since our apt is the biggest we can hold three people

Its time to stop: coffee you can move in any time

dead inside: i might soon

dead inside: they can fuck 24/7 now

Lesbianb 1: is that a challenge

dead inside: oh please god no

Peacekeeper Monika: how do lesbians fuck anyways

dead inside:  _ no _

Lesbianb 2: in creative ways you would not imagine

dead inside: do i need to be getting into the details 

dead inside: a plus side of being gay af is finding out how lesbians fuck without a problem

Its time to stop: why are we having this conversation

dead inside: its fun

Lesbianb 1: just

Lesbianb 1: okay you know the broomstick in the corner of your room

dead inside: I FUCKING SLEEP NEXT TO THAT SHIT   


Its time to stop: i cnat even fucjing type omfg

Peacekeeper Monika: lets just discuss this the entire night

Its time to stop: please

dead inside: is there anything else i need to know

Lesbianb 2: we fuck on your side of the couch

dead inside: are you

Peacekeeper Monika: ITS CRUEL FOR LAUGHING BUT IM DEADASS WHEEZING SO HARD RN

Its time to stop: HOLY CRAP   


Lesbianb 1: plus

dead inside: what

Its time to stop: i can feel the dread and the pain with that sentence

Peacekeeper Monika: *word

Lesbianb 1: do not

Lesbianb 2: and i repeat do not

Lesbianb 1: unless you want your life scarred i mean

dead inside: its pretty fucking scarred already

Lesbianb 2: did you open the drawer under the tv

dead inside: i did, actually

dead inside: may i tell you that you took my card, and i saw my phone notif telling me that you spent it

dead inside: fucking 30 bucks on one dick

Peacekeeper Monika: greghljkwerhglkjsdfnHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHJA   


Its time to stop: i cant

Its time to stop: having the only paired up people in our group is fucking great

Lesbianb 2: oh god

Peacekeeper Monika: I SAW THAT ON YOUR CREDIT HISTORY

Peacekeeper Monika: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MAY NGIHTS IT KEPT ME UP

Its time to stop: shes laughing so hard she cant even breathe anymore

Peacekeeper Monika: im fucking  _ choking _

Lesbianb 1: thats pretty kinky ngl

Peacekeeper Monika: half of my judt vivisted the grave

dead inside: now you know its  _ not  _ me

Lesbianb 2: I suppose ill have to pay you back

Lesbianb 2: sorry for scarring your credit history

dead inside: yeah thanks

Its time to stop: you sound like youre in a lot of pain

dead inside:  _ i am _

Lesbianb 1: why are we still having this conversation

dead inside: we wouldnt if you guys can sustain your urges

Lesbianb 1: when you actually fucking get together with someone its hard

Peacekeeper Monika: speaking of that

dead inside: trust me, its not gonna happen anytime soon

Its time to stop: cant we just drop the topic

Peacekeeper Monika: is it wrong to assume how lesbians fuck

Peacekeeper Monika: because i read enough fan fiction to know that gays just dick eachother

Its time to stop: PLEASE   


Peacekeeper Monika: ITS TRUE   


Peacekeeper Monika: THEY JUST FUCK EACH OTHER LIKE ANY STRAIGHT PEOPLE BUT ITS GAYS WHICH MEANS ITS A ONE WAY STREET   


dead inside: tira i beg

Peacekeeper Monika: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES PEOPLE JACK OFF BECAUSE THEY CANNOT SUSTAIN THEIR PLEASURES AND IN FUCKING PUBLIC TOO   


dead inside: TIRAMISU I SWEAR TO GOD   


Lesbianb 2: im wheezing

Lesbianb 1: why is taking about sex so amusing

Peacekeeper Monika: idk it just is

Its time to stop: are we just gonna talk about this the entire night

Peacekeeper Monika: perhaps

dead inside: INEED MENTAL BLEACH

Peacekeeper Monika: drink physical bleach and pray that it cleans your soul

Its time to stop: this is going down a great road

Peacekeeper Monika: you ever seen my history, you know why i know this information

Its time to stop: coming to your room pull it up

dead inside: tell me what it is

dead inside: actually

dead inside: black tea want to switch places so you can fuck without a worry

Lesbianb 1: yes please

Its time to stop:  **thats hot**

Lesbianb 2: no

 

**11:23 PM**

dead inside: that was a beautiful history

Peacekeeper Monika: i dont do shit apart from fanfiction

Its time to stop: great profession

dead inside: milk black tea is it safe to return

Its time to stop: @Lesbianb 1 @Lesbianb 2

Its time to stop: its not safe

dead inside: fuck

Peacekeeper Monika: I JUST FUCKING CHOKED HARD OH MY PEPSI

Its time to stop: THATS LIKE THE INFERIOR RIPOFF BRAND OF COKE

Peacekeeper Monika: ill ask the opinion of the insane teenage boy whos probably high on water

Its time to stop: this needs to be settled

dead inside: while shes doing that

dead inside: has this ever happened to you

Its time to stop: oh yes

Its time to stop: but they fuck on the kitchen counter

dead inside: you eat on that

dead inside: i pity you

Its time to stop: which is why i sometimes come over for rations

dead inside: i see

Peacekeeper Monika: the high teenager says that it is only good when you mix pepsi and coke together

Its time to stop: give me the shit ill do it

dead inside: dont blow anything up

Peacekeeper Monika: its just drink

Its time to stop: OH SHIT   


Peacekeeper Monika: WHAT THE FUCK   


Its time to stop: I PUT A BAR OF MENTOS IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BOWL I JUST REMEMBERED

Peacekeeper Monika: YOU DISGRACE

Its time to stop: I FORGOT   


dead inside: did you not  _ see  _ that

Its time to stop: NO

dead inside: no words

Peacekeeper Monika: omfg

Peacekeeper Monika: if we give cola mentos will he have explosive diarrhea or something

dead inside: do not put that mental picture into my mind

Its time to stop: WE SHOULD TRY IT   


Lesbianb 1: that is a terrible idea

Lesbianb 1: also we fucked on your side of the couch again

Lesbianb 2: i had 3 orgasms

Peacekeeper Monika: fujk

Its time to stop: i created a crack on my phone

dead inside: a, i dont need to know the details

dead inside: b, i was joking about fucking but i guess i was wrong about people taking things seriously

Lesbianb 1: you were wrong about my level of thirst

Lesbianb 2: and mine

Peacekeeper Monika: why are we friends

dead inside: yeah why are we

Lesbianb 2: no clue

Its time to stop: you actually admitted that were friends

Lesbianb 1: surprising, may i say

dead inside: is it safe to return

Lesbianb 2: semi

dead inside: not good enough

Peacekeeper Monika: hey does it count as a crime or a gift to have 5 pound balls

Its time to stop: oh that would be heavy

dead inside: a fucking curse may i say

Lesbianb 2: if the aspect ratio is the same, a gift

Its time to stop: please

dead inside: surprisingly I participated in that conversation topic

Peacekeeper Monika: tbh when people say that the thing you were named after keeps them sane but you as a person keeps us a bit sane

dead inside: yeah yall insane

Peacekeeper Monika: I am only merely different from others

dead inside: understatement of the century

Its time to stop: no that was in june when i said that im going to give everyone the wifi admin password and trust them to use it correctly

Lesbianb 1: I missed like 9 episodes of death note you fuck

Lesbianb 2: we were mildly pissed

dead inside: you spelt extremely incorrectly

Peacekeeper Monika: i guess that might rival the second

Lesbianb 1: nope

Lesbianb 1: that was when steak said he isnt gay

Peacekeeper Monika: okay no that is a def second

Its time to stop: cant believe i missed that

Its time to stop: but your sentence is a solid ten

Peacekeeper Monika: I cant think of anything else more than that

dead inside: what have you done

Peacekeeper Monika:  _ bring it _

Its time to stop: third would be when cola told mooncake that she could not out blackmail him

Peacekeeper Monika: that day still scarred me

Lesbianb 1: ikr

Lesbianb 2: I dont even know how they get those things

Its time to stop: what was fourth again

dead inside: when everyone assumed im the rich one

Its time to stop: lmao yeah i remember that

dead inside: ahem fucking 300 spent on sex toys

Lesbianb 2: dont leave your credit card in the open

Its time to stop: just a question

Its time to stop: is the drawer under the tv filled

dead inside: i had trouble opening it

Its time to stop: what diameter

Lesbianb 1: dont do this

dead inside: 2 by 4 feet with a depth of 5

Its time to stop: jesus CHRIST   


Peacekeeper Monika: HA HA HA 

Peacekeeper Monika: why does this conversation always goes back to sex

Peacekeeper Monika: and its fucking 11 pm

Its time to stop: honestly were just bad people

dead inside: okay now thats a solid 19th understatement

dead inside: were not even humans to begin with

Lesbianb 2: literally and mentally

dead inside: at least they havent fucked on my recliner

Its time to stop: YOU HAVE A RECLINER

Lesbianb 1: IS THAT A CHALLENGE   


dead inside: i should have never trusted you all with information

Peacekeeper Monika:  **_LET US SEE THE FUCKING RECLINER_ ** **_  
_ **

dead inside:  **_YOU ARE NOT TRUSTED_ **

Peacekeeper Monika: why

dead inside: do i need to remind you of the uno incident

Lesbianb 2: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT   


Its time to stop: THE STOrAGE ROOM IS STILL A MESS   


Lesbinab 1: that was over three months ago

Its time to stop: EXACTLY   


Lesbianb 1: BUT IN THAT TIME SPAN YOU COULD BE CLEANING IT

Lesbianb 1: NOT MY FAULT YOU LOST   


Its time to stop: UNO BREAKS FRIENDSHIPS   


dead inside: were we friends in the first place?

Lesbinab 2: WELL YOU COULD HAVE USED THE TIME TO CLEAN IT INSTEAD OF TEACHING BROWNIE HELL SPEAK   


Lesbianb 1: thats it hes dead

Peacekeeper Monika: which hell speak

Lesbianb 1: h-h-hewwo? Mwister obwama?

Peacekeeper Monika: oh fuck

Its time to stop: I WAS BORED   


Lesbianb 1: SO YOU DECIDE TO TORTURE HIM   


dead inside: yeah this is going to be has hectic as the time we played monopoly

Peacekeeper Monika: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT   
  


**1:54 AM**

Its time to stop: THAT HURT   


Lesbianb 1: we are trying out fucking best to not let someone get corroupted and you teach fucking hell speak to him

Its time to stop: i didnt even do it correctly 

Lesbianb 1:  _ good _

Lesbianb 2: yeah i just yeeted myself to his and biftys room and he doesnt even know what hell speak is

dead inside: thats nice

Peacekeeper Monika: while you all were doing that

Peacekeeper Monika: I found a manual for lesbian bdsm

Lesbianb 2: oh??????????   


dead inside: WHY DOES IT ALWAYS GO BACK TO SEX   


Lesbinab 1: give it here

Peacekeeper Monika: extra 5 bucks if you want the one with pictures

Peacekeeper Monika: extra 20 if you want a video along with it

Lesbianb 1: ill get the 25

Peacekeeper Monika: sold

dead inside: thats it im switching

dead inside: everyone help me

Lesbianb 1: why

dead inside: do you want to fuck your geef or no

Lesbianb 1: noted

 

**5:42 AM** **  
**

dead inside: i have never felt so at ease

Lesbianb 1: I feel divine

Lesbianb 2: u here?

Lesbianb 1: yep

Peacekeeper Monika: gay

Its time to stop: the gayness that lurks in this complex is so huge i cant even breathe

dead inside: hey do you all remember when the two of them were in legit denial

Peacekeeper Monika: that was YEARS ago

Its time to stop: probably a few decades

Peacekeeper Monika: lmao yes

dead inside: and now we had to switch rooms so i wont be more scarred than i already am

Peacekeeper Monika: tbh i think we might have messed up

dead inside: why

Peacekeeper Monika: paper thin walls

Its time to stop: ...shit

dead inside: 

Peacekeeper Monika: the poor virgin ears

dead inside: imma have to warn everyone

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**6:21 AM**

the sanitized: it pains me to inform you all

Monika: we have messed up big time

End me: i would think that some of you already figured it out

Kink Shaming: i think i know what this is about

#2 Sinner: oh shit please no

#2 Sinner: certain people dont need to know this information

Sacred memeist: should i be scared

Roblox phase: always

Pissed™: from past trauma, yes

the sanitized: so black tea and milk now have the same room, which would result to them fucking on a hourly basis

Pissed™: YOU HAD ONE JOB   


the sanitized: believe me you dont want to read the conversation we had in our group chat

 

**please take your pills**

**6:30 AM** **  
**

dead inside: they must suffer

Lesbianb 1: ITS LOVE   


Lesbianb 2: LOVE AS IN **L** EGS **O** PEN **V** ERY **E** ASILY   


Peacekeeper Monika: FUCK MY SANITY

Its time to stop: none of us has that

dead inside: and then you proceed to shove a 18 inch stick up your ass while your mommy fists your vagina

Its time to stop: youre honestly killing tira and i at this point

Peacekeeper Monika: I FUCJING CNA TOMFG

Lesbianb 2: IS THAT A CHALLENGE   


dead inside: I THOUGHT YOU WERE SANE ONE BUT I GUESS IM WRONG   


Lesbianb 1: BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME ANY OF US ARE SANE   


Peacekeeper Monika: GOD I KNEWI MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE MAKING ALL OF YOU MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS   


Its time to stop: oh yeah i remember

Its time to stop: you were chasing someone else when you smacked me in the head 

Peacekeeper Monika: that was great

dead inside: then you proceed to find me lurking in the bushes

dead inside: bt and milk were gay even when theyre 10 years old

Lesbianb 1: what can i say god made us to be together

Lesbianb 2: <3

dead inside: as i said, gay

Peacekeeper Monika: okay so

Peacekeeper Monika: i have a question

Its time to stop: why do i feel like were going back to talking about sex again

Peacekeeper Monika: were not responsible but okay

dead inside: took a while for you to figure that one out

dead inside: flashback to the eiffel tower incident

Lesbianb 2: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT   


Peacekeeper Monika: im pretty sure i missed that one

Peacekeeper Monika: i need so much context

Its time to stop: yeah i wasnt there too

dead inside: alright imma have to let this one slide im sorry

Lesbianb 1:  _ my god _

dead inside: so remember when the three of us went on the trip to paris

Its time to stop: thats when we set the hot tub on fire

Peacekeeper Monika: with some assistance, of course

dead inside: ...anyways

dead inside: so u know the elevator that leads u up to the eiffel tower

Peacekeeper Monika: uhhh yee?

dead inside: alright so the three of us went up it

dead inside: mind you it was packed with people

Its time to stop: i like where this is going

Lesbianb 2: if you were me, you would hate it

dead inside: so suddenly I heard this yell behind me and legit everyone turned and i had to check if bt and milk were being murdered or something

Lesbianb 1: can i not finger my geef in public

dead inside: apparently not

Lesbianb 2: her nails were scraping my clit like it hurt

Peacekeeper Monika: BACK TO SEX AGAIN

Its time to stop: AYYYY   


dead inside: but like EVERYONE was watching you two there was a few kids there too

Peacekeeper Monika: oh fuck that makes it way better

Lesbianb 2: he had to stop us from fucking with the lock on the bridge before locking it there

Peacekeeper Monika: you fuck with a lock?

dead inside: IT WAS IN PUBLIC   


Lesbianb 1: and of course thats the question she asks

Its time to stop: i guess they salvage whatever they get their hands on

Lesbianb 1: NOW IM THE ONE LAUGHING   


Lesbianb 2: BUT ITS THE COLD HARD TRUTH 

Lesbianb 2: FUCKING

Its time to stop: lesbians machine broke


	20. everyone dies

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**8:52 PM**

the sanitized: im enjoying the quiet

#2 Sinner: what is quiet

Kink Shaming: my virgin ears

Sobers: nothing about you is virgin

Kink Shaming: wow

Kink Shaming: at least i dont have wet dreams about shrek

Hey sisters: ONE FUCKING TIME   


Hey sisters: AND IT WAS ON ACCIDENT   


Kink Shaming: HOW THE FUCK DOES ONE  _ ACCIDENTLY  _ HAVE WET DREAMS   


Hey sisters: BIG BRAIN

Weed duck: yuxiang just choked while taking a breather

Weed aunt: VIG BRAON HDJSHFLKAJHFKLAHFLJKA   


Weed duck: shes probably not gonna make it

Weed aunt: FUCL NO LNAO

Hey sisters: then i guess i get her insurance money

Weed aunt: GET YOIR HABDS AWAY ORNF MY MONEYS

He need some milk: wym quiet

#2 Sinner: refrain from having sex at 1 in the morning

He need some milk: WE HAVE PLEASURES   


That’s the mf tea: AND WE CAN NOT HOLD IT IN   


End me: im legit screeching

Monika: we already stayed up an entire night talking about sex we dont need to do it again

Smol Sinner: excuse me you what

Monika: you dont wanna know lmao

Monika: though the tower incident is pretty great

He need some milk: dont speak of it ever again

the sanitized: these days ive seen too much

#2 Sinner: and heard

the sanitized: and heard

 

**11:30 PM**

#2 Sinner: im going insane

Kink Shaming: same

Kink Shaming: why isnt the walls thicker

Kink Shaming: im so tired

#2 Sinner: brb

#2 Sinner: okay so ik how to fix this

#2 Sinner: meet at tv

Kink Shaming: k

Sober: pity

Sans Whisperer: honestly if i had to torture others for my own good i would do it

Sober: thats harsh

Sans Whisperer: says the one who almost froze off my fucking arm because i was  _ touching  _ your chips

Sober: GET YO HANDS OFF ME CHIPS

Sans Whisperer: bitch do you want to be blackmailed

Sober: do it 

#2 Sinner: what have you forsaken upon yourself

Sans Whisperer: gimme a minute

Sober: wait i take that back

Joker: too fucking late

Sans Whisperer:  **Image**

Joker: OH FUCK

#3 Sinner: ANOTHER TO ADD TO MY COLLECTION

Kink Shaming: what is that dress

Kink Shaming: GREEN DOES NOT GO WITH ORANGE   


Sober: IM FUCKING SORRY 

#2 Sinner: my eyes

#2 Sinner: WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE HAIR CLIPS   


#2 Sinner: ONE IS ENOUGH

Sober: I DONT KNOW I GOT DRESSED IN THE DARK

Sober: NOT MY FAULT HUMANS HAVE PROMS N SHIT   


Monika: YOU WORE THAT TO   


Monika: fucking god

Sober: i thought i deleted that

Sans Whisperer: i was the one that took the photo

Sober: well fuck you then

Sans Whisperer: YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER   


Sober: I LACK BRAIN   


Kink Shaming: she does

Sober: this is bullying

Sans Whisperer: bitch blease

#2 Sinner: at this point youre kinda asking for it

Sans Whisperer: oh yeah she asked to hit her with the blackmail

Sober: got me there

#2 Sinner: whoever is blasting britney spears you are not helping our sleep deprivation

Kink Shaming: im this close to dying

 

**8:30 AM**

Sacred memeist: i tried to have a nice breakfast with my companions but im seriously feeling dread at this moment

Salt Pillar: who did you have it with

Sacred memeist:  [ This will explain immediately  ](http://youtube.com/watch?v=-TcLxlkc2pA)

Salt Pillar: i see

Sober: lmao

Sacred memeist: @Roblox phase @Pissed™ let me enjoy my breakfast i actually made good pancakes this time

Pissed™: tell that to him not me

Pissed™: i dont have my flex tape today

Roblox phase: ur mean

Pissed™: cool

Sacred memeist: no joke napoleon actually said u want sum fuk

Sober: LMAO

Pissed™: i dont know why 

Pissed™: god decided to inflict this upon me

Roblox phase:  **_lemme smash_ **

Sans Whisperer: the sudden crash was me falling down the stairs

Get help: Are you injured?

Sans Whisperer: nope

Sacred memeist: gay

Sober:  _ shut, remember the plan _

Hey sisters: all of you are keeping so many secrets right now

Hey sisters: i dont like it

Kink Shaming: im here just trying to stay alive from the lack of sleep

#2 Sinner: same old same old

That’s the mf tea: as i said,  **pleasures**

Smol Sinner: pfft

The Sinner: can i not drink away my depression anymore

Sober: i feel you tbh

Sober: meet at bar usual time

The Sinner: k

Sans Whisperer: should have expected that

#3 Sinner: it happens daily

Pissed™: only found that out when they took my fucking credit card

Sober: it was just lying there so i took the chance

the sanitized: worse could have happened

Monika: how i wish to forget

End me:  _ LMAO _

He need some milk: man up and obtain pleasure

Monika: thats it end me

End me: @the sanitized get the glock im doing it

Monika: NOW HOLD UP A SECOND   


End me: TOO LATE   


the sanitized: YOU HAVE FORSAKEN THIS UPON YOURSELF   


Smol Sinner: fucking calm children

Monika: okay

Monika: FIGHT ME NOW I DARE YOU

#2 Sinner: thats a big ass spoon

#3 Sinner: thats what she said

Smol Sinner: Little spoon? Big Spoon?

#2 Sinner: I will strangle you both

Smol Sinner: kinky

#2 Sinner: you’re fucking annoying

#3 Sinner: so we’ve been told

End me: i cant even shoot her

End me: she just keeps healing

Monika: fight me bitch

End me: IF YOU WOULD LET ME THEN SURE   


Monika: EVER HEARD OF TOXIC GAMERS   


Monika: GIT GUD   


Get help: Tiramisu had indeed changed from her old self.

That’s the mf tea: LMAO Y E S   


He need some milk: that’s like way back

the sanitized: back in the medieval times when you two are  _ still  _ in denial

Joker: im wheezing

Joker:  _ medieval times _

Damn nerd: Not the medieval times

Salt Pillar: dramatic gasp

sWee(d)t: why

Damn nerd: Why the fuck not?

sWee(d)t: i regret ever trying to ask that question

Roblox phase: im surprised you havent learned that yet

sWee(d)t: im surprised myself as well

sWee(d)t: time to drown myself in memes

Sacred memeist:  _ take me with you _

 

**Regret**

**9:01 AM**

eldest: the internet is great

youngest: surprised you havent figured that out

eldest: fuck you i know that since i was born

yeet wheel: its common sense

eldest: yh she knows

yeet wheel: i  _ know  _

youngest: oh shit she knows

eldest: but like

eldest: bruh the fuck is this 

yeet wheel: jesus’s secret holy bible

youngest:  _ LMAO _

youngest: the holy meme bible, volume i

eldest: remind me why the three of us created another chat when there’s already around ten thousand

yeet wheel: cuz

yeet wheel: were gud friends and since ur the brother u have to be here 2

yeet wheel: + we need a g00d and resp0ncible™ person here

eldest: dont type like that again please

yeet wheel: no uwu

youngest: youve done and done it

eldest: what

yeet wheel: what

youngest:  **nani**

yeet wheel: did not see that coming

youngest: i mean

yeet wheel: weeb culture????   


eldest: weeb culture.

youngest: the moment you guys said weeb culture i got the chillz immediately

youngest: im being haunted and weebism is causing it

eldest: how dare thou insult weebism

yeet wheel: le gasp

youngest: I DARE INSULT THY ABOMINATION THAT SHALT OF WEEBISM

yeet wheel:  **_LE GASP_ ** **_  
_ **

eldest: THOU SHALT DEEPLY REGRET THY DECISIONS FORMED BY  **_THYSELF_ ** **_  
_ **

youngest: remind me again why are we like this

eldest: dunno

yeet wheel: i mean you guys are related

yeet wheel: i must be the relatable weird aunt

eldest: yes

youngest: accurate

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**9:21 AM**

Joker: why the fuck is there a hole in the ceiling

Salt Pillar: MY FLOOR   


Joker: well yes same thing

#2 Sinner: there was a spider

Joker: dont need to burn off the entire fucking floor

Smol Sinner: IT WAS   


Smol Sinner: SO FUCKING SMALL   


#2 Sinner: YOURE THE ONE THAT SCREAMED KILL IT WITH FIRE   


Smol Sinner: I FORGOT THAT YOURE ALLOWED TO PHYSICALLY DO THAT

#2 Sinner: FUCKING HELL   


The Sinner: you all are retarded

Joker: what a turn to society

#3 Sinner: society? lol no

That’s the mf tea: sudden realization that we’ve been living in a multiverse

Sober: A MULTIVERSE HIDDEN INSIDE A MATRIX   


Pissed™:  _ THE MATRIX HIDDEN WITHIN THE CIRCULAR DRIVE OF THE UNIVERSE _

End me:  **_THE CIRCULAR DRIVE STORED IN A FOLDER WITH MULTIDIMENSIONAL TRAVELING CHAMBER_ **

#2 Sinner:  **_THE UNIVERSE IS A LIE_ **

Sans Whisperer:  **_THE EARTH IS A CUBE_ ** **_  
_ **

Joker: DRAMATIC G A S P

Joker: THE EARTH IS A CUBE???   


He need some milk: ITS A HYPERCUBE

He need some milk: THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN LYING   


Joker: WAIT WHAT

Joker: SHIT   


fuck off im playing minecraft: amateurs

fuck off im playing minecraft: ive known since the jacket incident

Smol Sinner: LIAR   


Smol Sinner: WE OPENED AN INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL YOU CAN NOT EVER REMEMBER FROM THERE   


End me: nani the fuck

The Sinner: WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT   


Sacred memeist: SHE HAS BROKEN THE LAW   


Smol Sinner: FUCK YOU ALL I SAID IT   


Smol Sinner: HA

Smol Sinner: SUCK MY DJKLWI

#3 Sinner: who killed her

fuck off im playing minecraft: i hit her in the face with my skateboard

#2 Sinner: well deserved punishment

Smol Sinner: IM DEAD   


The Sinner: youre not

The Sinner: you got stabbed in the face 3 times last week and youre fine

Smol Sinner: well 

Smol Sinner: uh

Smol Sinner: wikihow how to defend yourself

Roblox phase: owo?

Roblox phase: throw a reverse card

Smol Sinner: oh yes

Smol Sinner: i can find it

Roblox phase: give it several weeks

Smol Sinner: why

Roblox phase: your album not mine

Sans Whisperer: so like

Sans Whisperer:  _ sick _

Salt pillar: commit die

lemme smash: no its toaster in bathtub

Salt pillar: I told you you can change your user and THIS is what you chose

lemme smash: i was watching the video from earlier when i made this

Joker: low iq play

Joker: very tragic

Get help: Critical hit.

lemme smash: i do not regret

the sanitized: very questionable response

lemme smash: I do regret

the sanitized: there it is

Monika: I think all of us regrets

End me: lol yes

Pissed™: I WILL KILL A BITCH

Sacred memeist: old news

Pissed™: WHO IS THE ONE THAT PUT THIS SHIT ON THE DOOR

Pissed™: 

Monika: FUCKING

Monika: LEGEND

Pissed™: REVEAL YOURSELF OR ILL NUKE ALL OF YOU

#2 Sinner: guess ill die

Sober: IT WAS ME

Sober: BUT FUCK YOU I ALREADY LEFT FOR THE MOTHERLANDS   


Sacred memeist: FOR THE MOTHERLANDS   


Sacred memeist: FUCK YES   


Damn nerd: Oh my god, you’re retarded

Weed aunt: old news

Weed duck: old news

Weed aunt: it kinda applies to everyone

Weed duck: including us

Damn nerd: That was weirdly in sync, but okay

Sober: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU CATCH UP TO ME   


Pissed™: MAGIC   


Pissed™: NOW DIE   


Kink Shaming: f

Sacred memeist: f

Weed aunt: f

Weed duck: f

Weed duck: funniest thing is that he isn’t even a magic fs

Weed aunt: we have powers you will not expect

Kink Shaming: i ate a computer mouse

Weed duck: now that’s epic

Weed aunt: this is epic

Kink Shaming: why is epic

Damn nerd: epic is epic

Monika: this is so sad

The Sinner: that is so true

The Sinner: i will decale meme war

#2 Sinner: OH FUCK NO   


Smol Sinner: DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED  _ LAST TIME _

fuck off im playing minecraft: DONT TALK ABOUT THAT ONE   


#3 Sinner: oh fuc yeah let go

Joker: im leaving

the sanitized: take me with you

the sanitized: PELASE   


Joker: GET IN THE VAN BOYS WE GOING TO THE HURRICANE SHELTER


	21. its 12 am and i jsut remembered taht this still exists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> killl me  
> i got hooked on a yt vid so ft that in the end

**3:43 PM**

The Sinner: the meme war ends

The Sinner: with only two casualties

#3 Sinner: FUCKING GOD

#3 Sinner: HE GETS HIS SHIT FROM THE DARK FUCKING WEB

#3 Sinner: LIKE WHAT IS THIS  
#3 Sinner: 

Smol Sinner: I CAN NOT UNSEE

The Sinner: THE DARK WEB BITCHES

Sober: well thats nice

Sober: ok so hmo

Sober: tam told us we have to pay all the taxes now because of the monthly fire that happened yesterday

Sans Whisperer: HE WAS IN THE WAY

Roblox phase: NO YOU WERE IN MY WAY

Sacred memeist: SHUT UP

Sacred memeist: NOW WE HAVE TO PAY TAXES

Weed aunt: we got you covered

Weed duck: vault value increased up to 2,313,009

Kink Shaming: fuck yes

Kink Shaming: take my check im buying the new playstation model

Weed duck: noted

Monika: i paid the debt for my group

End me: you mean taxes

Monika: i was in debt

the sanitized: THEN WHY DID YOU PAY IT

He need some milk: i would advise you to not go further

Sober: BACK TO THE TOPIC

Sober: what do we do

Smol Sinner: i am a child therefore I do not do jobs

The Sinner: you are 17 or something

Smol Sinner: exactly

Sober: @Get Help you

Get Help: Yeah?

Sober: how old are you

Get Help: 17, turning 18.

Sober: do you have any jobs

Get Help: Yes.

Sober: one?

Get Help: 6.

Smol Sinner: excuse moi what de fuq

Smol Sinner: this is bullying 

Get Help: It’s the normal workload.

Sober: no its not

Sans whisperer: yeah no its not

Sans whisperer: most of us here cant even handle 1 job 

Weed duck: which is why we are thugs

Sober: exactly.

Get Help: I’m going to leave you guys, my shift’s in 45 minutes.

Sans whisperer: alright then

Pissed™: most of you here aren't even contributing

Sacred memeist: what, do you?

Pissed™: do i look

Kink Shaming: not a lot of yalls knows this but he pays for everything you guys do 50%

Kink Shaming: the other half is paid by brownie, in which i would be really laughing at you guys

Weed duck: we pay for our own expenses

Weed aunt: if only you would stop wasting them on every single model of the playstation

Kink Shaming: i recycle

Hey sisters: bitch

Kink Shaming: tf did you just call me

_Kink Shaming has changed Hey sister’s name to Thotiana_

Thotiana: AND THAT BITCH WILL DIE

Sober: THOTIANA

#3 Sinner: YES

Smol Sinner: THIS IS EPIC

Weed aunt: GET REKT SIS

Sans Whisperer: vodka your bird is screaming again

Sober: fuck

#2 Sinner: last time that happened all the water bottle caps went missing

The Sinner: apparently vodka’s bird slightly inconveniences us

Salt pilliar: that is the worst kind

Sober: the situation is under control

Sober: duck write me a check i need to get more seed

Weed duck: noted

Thotiana: i have taken care of the mistake

Smol Sinner: “Sweetie, you’re not a mistake.”

Smol Sinner: “You’re a regret.”

Thotiana: Exactly

Kink Shaming: she ran all the way here and punched me

Weed duck: You deserved that after stealing 500 bucks from my share

Weed duck: yes i saw it

Weed aunt: why would you do that

Weed aunt: he sees all

Kink Shaming: i was high

Sober: changes nothing

The Sinner: high and not high makes no difference

The Sinner: the only thing that matters is whether you’re sober or not

Sober: which i am right now.

Sober: get the good shit we going

The Sinner: exactly.

Sans Whisperer: see, this is the reason why i never fit in

Sans Whisperer: these fuckers out here drinking 24/7

Weed duck: understandable, have a nice day

the sanitized: i got kicked in the hand

End me: i missed

Monika: so what you’re telling me

Monika: you missed, and hit a hitbox way smaller than your original?

Monika: the rng gods are really laughing at us now…

End me: get game ended

the sanitized: playing video games for 49 hours straight was a bad idea

Monika: excuse you I got up to level 209

Weed aunt: wait a second is it the game that i am thinking of

Monika: yes

Weed aunt: HOW THE FUCK

the sanitized: she cheated by buying that 5.5 exp booster

End me: WHAT

Monika: im out

End me: WE BETTED

End me: GIVE ME MY 70 BUCKS BACK

Monika: im OUT

 

**actual relevant people**

**4:56 PM** **  
**

_Smol Sinner has added 10 people to the chat_

Smol Sinner: it was requested.

Sober: oh fuck yes

Sober: ive been yelled too many times for talking too much because i dont have a actual life

Get help: Last time I checked, I am not relevant.

Sans whisperer: your here emotional support

Get Help: Reasonable.

Get Help: Just to note, it's "you're."

Sans whisperer:  **H**

#3 Sinner: shit is about to go down, is it not?

Kink Shaming: it already has

Kink Shaming: listen here

Thotiana: i am not relevant wtf

Thotiana: only known as batman

Weed duck: why are we still here…

Weed aunt: just to suffer?

Thotiana: ah yes, the dynamic duo

Thotiana: of course they be there

#2 Sinner: so adding this on

#2 Sinner: how may chats do we have

Sober: i have 14 on mine

Sober: if you dont count the one with my drug dealing group

Kink Shaming: add me

Sober: ofc

Weed duck: that one counts

Weed duck: log onto that i have the good shit restalked

Weed aunt: oh???

Weed aunt: starting at how much a pound

Smol Sinner: take that somewhere else jfc

Sans Whisperer: wikihow what is relevant

Smol Sinner: it’s life

The Sinner: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylrN4_IVvPI ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylrN4_IVvPI)

Smol Sinner: no longer life

#2 Sinner: why is he here

Smol Sinner: 1st he is relevant. 2nd we are basically related.

The Sinner: she paid ancestry.com and apparently we’re share an ancestor like, 9 times removed 

The Sinner: i dont know where the fuck that came from, must be broken

#3 Sinner: but we

The Sinner: i dont know how we ended up with ancestry, but it worked

Sans Whisperer: and then, life was rewritten

Smol Sinner: but he must be here

Smol Sinner: so does you

#2 Sinner: so we are here to suffer then

Sans Whisperer: well yes but actually no

_Kink Shaming has changed the chat name to “Well yes but actually no”_

Sans Whisperer: and there we have it, logic

Sober: duck was selling it overpriced

Weed duck: imported from russia

Sober: i changed my mind

Sober: ring me up for 4 crates

Weed aunt: thats so expensive you have the cash money for that?

Sober: yes

Sober: if i run out i can steal from other people’s stash

Thotiana: one hand and i kill

Thotiana: I WILL WHOOP YOUR ASS

Kink Shaming: again, what she said

The Sinner: you’re giving me world war X flashbacks

#2 Sinner: same here

#3 Sinner: oh god

#3 Sinner: dont speak of that

Sober: the stain is still there

Sans Whisperer: wait WHAT

Sans Whisperer: hold the fuck up

Thotiana: that was like

Thotiana: fucking 8 months ago

Smol Sinner: big ass stain as well

Smol Sinner: whos paying for that

Weed duck: not me

Weed aunt: you are literally the richest person in our entire complex right now

Weed aunt: topping with 4 trillion, 4.1 after you sold those crates

Weed duck: not me

Kink Shaming: fucking

Thotiana: he

Thotiana: and i thought i was rich goddamn

Sober: they’ve dealt so much i cant even

Sober: those two basically run the dark web by now

Sans Whisperer: hold up a second

Sans Whisperer: not all of the dark web

#3 Sinner: yes we know you control at least 30% of it after that virus you imported yesterday

Sans Whisperer: assert your abilities

The Sinner: oh?

The Sinner: my concern is that you have none

Sans Whisperer: well would you look at that, someone who underestimates my **power**

Sober: run far, far away.

 

**6:09 PM**

The Sinner: LORD BLEASE FORGIVE MY SINS

Smol Sinner: so it has hit

Sans Whisperer: BUT HE DIED FOR OUR SINS

Sans Whisperer: WHY MUST YOU CREATE MORE

The Sinner: bitch read me and my entire ensemble of companion’s names

Sans Whisperer: oh yeah i forgot

Sober: literally says on the screen, “the sinner”

Sober: please open your eyes fuckass

Sans Whisperer: kind of hard when one of them is SHOT OUT AND HAS TO BE PUT IN REPAIR FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS

Sober: okay okay

Sober: jesus fuck our tragic backstories are hitting us hard

Get Help: Top 10 Anime Laws. 1: Tragic Backstory.

#3 Sinner: 2: Less Clothing, More Power.

Smol Sinner: SO YOU MEAN I NEED TO STRIP BUTTASS NAKED TO DEFEAT ALL OF YOU?????

The Sinner: do not do that. i am literally begging you.

Kink Shaming: IM TOO GAY TO SEE A CHILD’S VAGINA

Smol Sinner: EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK

Thotiana: IM FUCKING CRYING

#3 Sinner: this is about the best chat group in the world

#2 Sinner: 3: the normal laws of physics do not apply.

Sans Whisperer: facts

Sans Whisperer: see those people jump like, 9 miles into the air

Sans Whisperer: without WINGS

Sober: yes yes we all know you had epic birdy wings ok ok ok epic epic epic

Sober: next law

Sans Whisperer: i hate you so much

Get Help: And I regret dragging you out of the Catacombs.

Sans Whisperer: okay now that hurt

The Sinner: recap of what happened because i have no idea excuse me what the fuck

Get Help: He went Solo down into what, Floor #85?

Get Help: Napoleon and I had to drag his corpse back to the surface, and we didn’t even know him. So, our first encounter was when he was 99% dead.

Sans Whisperer: my early life is like a never-ending “left you on the street where i found you” vine

The Sinner: wow, what a dumbass

The Sinner: anime law: literally a book of defying what everyone had ever discovered like ever

Thotiana: so true though

Thotiana: like

Thotiana: okay so you guys ever heard of joe?

Sober: ohoho i am not falling for that 

Sober: fucking boomer

Thotiana: i am not a boomer fuckass

Thotiana: who is a boomer here

Sans Whisperer: lol not me

#3 Sinner: lol not me

Smol Sinner: @The Sinner him. He is a boomer

The Sinner: i

The Sinner: okay listen here

Sober: oh yeah that guy with like the fucking green or smt hair

Sober: u remember him

The Sinner: oh wait is he the one that set off 6 confetti poppers in his face

Sober: yes

Sober: hes like fucking 10000 years old

Kink Shaming: _boomer_

Kink Shaming: on a completely different topic

Kink Shaming: whats like

Kink Shaming: legit the worst think you have ever done in the literally history of your life

Sober: when i swallowed that baby duck

Weed duck: you shall perish in your own hands

Sober: NO WAIT NO IT WAS A ACCIDENT

Sober: FUCK I FORGOT HE WAS HERE

Kink Shaming: you swallowed a **duck**

Sober: right now all i can see is mist

Sober: i think i am dead

Weed aunt: she is

Sober: OH SHIT HESRIHT THETEEtwHE R elP HA A A ASaew ljkrN

Sans Whisperer: welp

Sans Whisperer: while she is getting impaled

Sans Whisperer: what else have you guys done

The Sinner: me and the mentally ill brought a marijuana plant to life with some weird chemical toxins and taught it to smoke weed

The Sinner: it got so out of hand we have to snort it after it destroyed that building

#3 Sinner: oh yeah i remember that

Smol Sinner: we taught it to smoke its own kind and then smoke him afterwards

Get Help: This is about why I was afraid of being put here.

Smol Sinner: nah man its all god

Smol Sinner: besides one problem

Get Help: What’s the problem?

#3 Sinner: we didnt properly dispose the toxins

#3 Sinner: so uh beware of random soil/plants floating around

#2 Sinner: anyone know Rule 34?

Thotiana: “If it exists, there’s porn of it.”

#2 Sinner: right

The Sinner: oh yeah i saw a charger fucking a phone

#2 Sinner: thank you for putting that mental image into my mind.

Weed aunt: WHY

Weed aunt: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

Weed aunt: im ringing up my fanart artists

Weed duck: right i forgot about them

Kink Shaming: is vodka alive

Sober: no i am not

Sober: half of my hair got burned of

Sober: i look like bleached ava max 

Thotiana: i want to see this for some weird reason

Sober: im never swallowing ducks again

Weed duck: why

Weed duck: how did it end up to that

Weed duck: what have we become

Kink Shaming: i am intrigued as well

Sober: so

Sober: i was at the park, where there are creatures called ducks.

Weed duck: I am well aware

Sober: i saw a batch? swarm? of small fucks

Sober: i mean ducks

Smol Sinner: fucks

#3 Sinner: fucks

Sober: then i proceeded to think about if i can swallow them in one go

Sober: i did it and I succeeded with only 1 near death

Sober: then, being the high russian i am, i decided to see if i can cook it

Weed duck: i

Sober: so i proceeded to drink hot water

Sober: tounge was burnt in the process but that is fine

Sober: and then i realized its going to take years to get that shit out

Sober: so i game ended myself and respawned

Weed aunt: i see

Weed aunt: game ended as in died

Sober: no i lied

Sober: i proceeded to eat toxins to melt the duck

Weed duck: i dont know whether to be horrified for you or the duck that has to suffer through this

Sober: both could be good, but i assumed that on your perspective it would be the latter

Sober: anyways

Sans Whisperer: everyone game ended. The end.

Sober: no SHUT UP

Weed duck: i think i get the gist

Sober: NO WAIT

Sober: so like one day i was taking a shit

_Weed duck has muted Sober for 2 hours_

#3 Sinner: NO

#3 Sinner: I WANT TO HEAR HOW IT ENDS

#3 Sinner: WHY DOES HE HAVE HIGHER ADMIN THAN US

Smol Sinner: because he gave me a cover to my window, where everyone seems to be INJURED IN FRONT OF

Weed duck: I WAS GLAD I DID

Weed aunt: im now more scared of the people i talk to

Kink Shaming: she told me the rest of the story

Weed duck: good for you

Kink Shaming: so basically

_Weed duck has muted Kink Shaming for 1 hour_

Thotiana: he has now taken my phone

Thotiana: I WASNT GONNA SAY IT

Weed duck: SURE YOU WEREN'T

#3 Sinner: i dont know whether to be concerned for this mans obsession with ducks or if i wanted to know the ending or not

Sans Whisperer: same though

Get Help: I stopped listening after Vodka mentioned that she swallowed the duck.

Get Help: I don’t want a repeat of last year.

#2 Sinner: so what happened last year

Get Help: No.

#2 Sinner: okay then

Sans Whisperer: we game ended a lot of things

Sans Whisperer: such as, an amateur example, a human

Get Help: He did attempt to rape a trash can, so I decided he must die.

The Sinner: now thats a valid excuse

#3 Sinner: so youre tellin me

Smol Sinner: “Officer, I killed that man because he is mentally ill and raping a trash can!”

#2 Sinner: Defence sentence: “I told him to take the trash out, so he’s only completing the night by having sex with them! All natural, as all things should be!”

The Sinner: alright you win good job ha ha

Sans Whisperer: hes dead tho

Thotiana: eat his remains, leave the dick

Sans Whisperer: define “remains”

Sober: we burnt him

Sans Whisperer: i killed someone

Sans Whisperer: this is so epic

Kink Shaming: ha

Kink Shaming: funny

Weed duck: amateur

Weed aunt: so epic man so epic

#2 Sinner: there is something wrong with everyone

The Sinner: mf you need to get going with the current events

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**6:30 PM** **  
**

That’s the mf tea: so it worked

He need some milk: oh yeah it did

Monika: wut

He need some milk: we told ginge to put all the people that sit around and do nothing in a separate chat so we can actually focus on work

Joker: so you mean, the unemployed

Joker: that is so smart

Sacred memeist: but

Joker: you have a job ma’am

Sacred memeist: fuCk

the sanitized: and then the person with the most amount of jobs is in that chat

End me: are you trying to kill us?

the sanitized: oh

the sanitized: OH

Monika: he remembered who was supposed to be in that chat

Monika: NOW GET BAcK TO YOUR SHIFT IM NOT PAYING EVERYTHING  
  


**actual relevant people**

**7:09 PM** **  
**

Sans Whisperer: HO MY GAWD BREQUANDA LET TELL YOU THIS, LEMME TELL YOU

Sober: YES TELL ME WHAT IT IS BABEH

The Sinner: wtf  
Sans Whisperer: HO MY GOD I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH 

Sans Whisperer: ASHEQUANDEREWIHEGJKLRHSRALEDRAHJGJKGIFGDHRTDFGJHKLGYFVTDRESXRDCFTBHJNK

#2 Sinner: he gots a seizure

Sans Whisperer: AND SHE HAD SAY I GOTS SOME JUICY GOSSIP FOR YOU

Sans Whisperer: AND I SAID, WHAT’S THE DEAL, WHAT’S THE DEAL, TELL ME WHAT’S THE DEAL

Sans Whisperer: AND SHE HAD SAY DAT SHE HAD SEEN DARREL FUCKIN SOME BITCH NAMED DELTRESE

Kink Shaming: this is lookin epic so far

Sober: HO MAH GAWD NO, NOW I KNOW THAT THAT’S A BALD HEADED LIE

Sober: cUz I HAD sUCKED HIS DICK SO HARD LAST WEEK THAT IT WENT POP AND POPPED CLEAN OFF

Sober: AND I SAID WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WIT DIS NOW, ITS A DILDO?

Sans Whisperer: HO MEH GEY

Sober: HO MAH GOWD

Sans Whisperer: HO MEH GEY

Sober: HO MAH GOWD

Sans Whisperer: hOoOoooOOOOo MEH GEY

Sober: HOOOOOOOOOO MAH GOWD

Sober: GURL LETZ GO TO THE CLUB AND POP OUR PUSSIES

Sans Whisperer: YES GURL IT’S TIME TO G O OUT THE D O

Thotiana: *dark ghetto music playing in the background*

Sans Whisperer: wait have you watched that vid as well

Thotiana: yes yes i have

Kink Shaming: why would you do this

Sans Whisperer: because im so cultured

Thotiana: on a different note

Thotiana: some bitch took my rolls of toilet paper and i would like to know why

The Sinner: who tf wants toilet paper

Thotiana: OH I DUNNO

Thotiana: SOMEONE WHO TOOK THEM

Kink Shaming: you used all of it

Weed aunt: yeah i thought you would have noticed

Sober: how does one use up all of the t paper without noticing it

Thotiana: i dont remember though

Get help: This is possibly linked to the 5 missing of Moonshine that I found in the Storage.

Thotiana: NO DONT DO THIS TO ME

Sober: BITCH

The Sinner: THOSE WERE OURS

Sober: COME OVER HERE AND FACE PAIN AND AGONY

The Sinner: I WILL STRIP YOU OF ALL YOUR DIGNITY WOMAN

Thotiana: FUCK

Get help: This is possible payback for eating my pastry.

Thotiana: THAT WAS 3 MONTHS AGO

Sans Whisperer: i thought you learned after the phone case incident

Smol Sinner: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT

#2 Sinner: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EFFORT IT TOOK FOR ME TO REPAIR THE WALLS

Sans Whisperer: not enough

#3 Sinner: i thought all of you learned to never speak of past events after the lint incident

Kink Shaming: stop and commit die

Weed duck: yes pls i still havent forgiven you for stealing my lighter

Weed aunt: i hear screams of agony

Sans Whisperer: and i see my blowtorch gone

Sans Whisperer: jfc

Smol Sinner: f

#3 Sinner: f

#2 Sinner: f

Weed aunt: f

Sans Whisperer: RETURN MY BLOWTORCH

Sober: FUCC NO

#3 Sinner: who took my controller and i will totally not hurt you

Get help: Why can’t you guys keep track of your possessions?

#3 Sinner: cuz dere thieves

Get help: Do you need help in keeping track of them?

Get help: I can free up some space for storage if you’d like.

Sans Whisperer: give me a life

Get help: I don’t think I can provide you with that, sorry.

Sans Whisperer: not expecting anyone to

Kink Shaming: life dunno her

Weed duck: i found your controller but the batteries are gone

#3 Sinner: FUCK  
  


**ELMO COME AND GIVE YOU A ERECTION :DDD**

**6:34 AM**

Soup Kitchen: WHOEVER CHANGED THE CHAT NAME I FUCKING LOVE YOU

Zombie Barbie: i did

Zombie Barbie: and thats kind of gay slay queen

Soup Kitchen: no homo

The fucking doctors: it aint gae if you say no homo

The bears are coming: it aint lesbian if you say no homo

Plural: why

The bears are coming: willpower

The fucking doctors: pure fuckery

Zombie Barbie: the prosphericy

Soup Kitchen: i dont think you spelled that right

Zombie Barbie: says you

Soup Kitchen: touche

Plural: why are all of you up

The bears are coming: why are you up

Zombie Barbie: why am i still alive

The fucking doctors: you want to change that

Zombie Barbie: no thx im not that depressed yet

Soup Kitchen: story of my life

The bears are coming: seriously what are we doing at 6 am

The fucking doctors: probably dying to death

The bears are coming: i see nothing of the sort

The bears are coming: ok who wants to play uno

Zombie Barbie: remember last time?

Soup Kitchen: that game went on for 10 hours straight

Plural: i had to forcefully get out by community vote and get yalls food

The bears are coming: ty for the +4 btw

Plural: fuck you

The bears are coming: ok we playing quick uno

The bears are coming: meet in my room

 

 **4:54 PM** **  
**

Soup Kitchen: OH YES QUICK ROUND INDEED

Plural: I FINALLY WON

The bears are coming: good for you i still have 26 wins

The fucking doctors: flex

Zombie Barbie: stfu

The bears are coming: im sorry but i cant shut up due to how epic i am

The fucking doctors: find him and kill him

Plural: gladly

Plural: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR STACKING 3 PLUS 2 CARDS ON ME

Soup Kitchen: big rip

Zombie Barbie: now hes dead

The fucking doctors: seriously cant forgive him after he drank my chocky milk

The bears are coming: I BROUGHT YOU ANOTHER ONE

The fucking doctors: not the same as the og

Plural: COME OVER HERE AND DIE

The bears are coming: YOU CANT TAKEM E ALI

Zombie Barbie: ali?

The fucking doctors: i think he meant alive

Soup Kitchen: hes actually dead now

Soup kitchen: rip


	22. nothing is ever normal, send help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> constructed a name list
> 
> Sans whisperer- B-52  
> Get help- Brownie  
> Roblox Phase - Napoleon Cake  
> Pissed™-Pastel de Nata  
> Sober/drunk aunt- Vodka  
> Sacred memeist- Galaxy Cake (OC)  
> Kink Shaming- Boston Lobster  
> Thotiana- Spicy Gluten  
> Weed duck/Duck bitch/Michael- Peking Duck  
> Weed aunt- Yuxiang  
> Damn Nerd/Virgin/Bob- Plum Juice  
> the sanitized- Coffee  
> End me/Its time to stop- Chocolate  
> Monika/Ashley- Tiramisu  
> He need some milk/Lesbianb 2/Karen- Milk  
> That’s the mf tea/Lesbianb 1- Black tea  
> The Sinner- Red Wine  
> #2 Sinner- Steak  
> #3 Sinner- Cola  
> Smol Sinner- Gingerbread  
> fuck off im playing minecraft- Hamburger  
> Salt Pillar- Salty Tofu  
> sweet more like sour/Chad- Sweet Tofu  
> Joker- Mooncake   
> Zombie Barbie- Stargazy Pie  
> The bears are coming- Spaghetti  
> Soup kitchen- Borscht  
> Plural- Oysters  
> The fucking doctors- Black Pudding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw you try to balance between two chatfics who are both stupidly long and so your brain is almost out of ideas

**actual relevant people**

**9:21 AM**

The Sinner: why is this piece of fuckery still here

Kink Shaming: you love us

The Sinner: lol no

#2 Sinner: thats a lie

The Sinner: i hate you the most

#3 Sinner: who would have thought

Sans Whisperer: ok so theres a problem

Sans Whisperer:  im so sorry

Sober: he is never sorry

Get help: Is this regarding your screwdriver?   


Sans Whisperer: yes

Get help: Great.

Sans Whisperer: the walls are no longer soundproof

#2 Sinner: FUCK

Kink Shaming: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE   


Smol Sinner: how and why

Sans Whisperer: classified

Kink Shaming: I THOUGHT IT WAS BAD ENOUGH BEFORE NOW ITS WORSE   


Thotiana: OH SHIT WAIT MINE IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOURS   


Sober: lol gl

 

**this house is a fucking nightmare**

**9:30 AM**

#2 Sinner: I REQUEST TO MOVE TO THE BASEMENT   


Roblox phase: bitch that’s my permanent resting spot

Pissed ™: please dont move out of it

Roblox phase: fuc u

Monika: ok why all of a sudden you asking this?

Sans Whisperer: due to a incident the walls are no longer soundproof

the sanitized: why would you do this

End me: Have we not suffered enough

Salt pillar: like actually kill me

Salt pillar: is this fixable

Sans Whisperer: lol no

The Sinner: binch

#2 Sinner: @Kink Shaming what do we do

Kink Shaming: i thought i solved the problem now its worse

#2 Sinner: no shit

Sacred memeist: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i think im gonna be in contact with the big bad now

Thotiana: no shit we gota do smt

the sanitized: @He need some milk @That’s the mf tea we have a problem

He need some milk: so i heard that the walls are no longer soundproof

#2 Sinner: YES PLEASE DO SONRENTJEKNG

The Sinner: oh look he actually gave up on typing

#2 Sinner: FUCK YUO

That’s the mf tea: what do we do

That’s the mf tea: cut the bb to daily?   


Kink Shaming: BETTER THAN NOTHING 

Weed aunt: daily is still bad????

Kink Shaming: it used to be hourly

He need some milk: ok problem solved

#2 Sinner: b52 im gonna kill you

Sans Whisperer: bring it

Sober: im just gonna stand on the side in case one of them burns everything down

the sanitized: they’re gonna

Pissed™: remember the last time they fought? I did

End me: lol we still have only 2 cabinets in the kitchen

Pissed™: thats 7 less than what we originally had

Sans Whisperer: SORRY NOT SORRY

Smol Sinner: babeh im sorry

#3 Sinner: im not sorry

fuck off im playing minecraft: pls no that song is old

#3 Sinner: NO SONGS ARE EVER OLD   


Smol Sinner: MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD

_ Monika has muted Smol Sinner for 2 hours _

Monika: please no

#3 Sinner: AND THEY’RE LIKE ITS BETTER THAN YOURS   


_ Monika has muted #3 Sinner for 2 hours _

End me: they dont learn

Pissed™: exactly

Roblox phase: learning never heard of her

Joker: being a shithead yes ofc i heard of her

sWee(d)t: thats your life sentence

Salt pillar: batch

Kink Shaming: oh my god he wasnt lying about these walls

Thotiana: NO   


Thotiana: GOD   


Sacred memeist: i could have lived my entire life without hearing that

Pissed™: what were you thinking

Sober: he is engaged in a battle

Pissed™: ok then i hope he loses

Roblox phase: oh harsh

Roblox phase: then again when has he lost

Sober: doubt that i cant beat him

Get help: I beat him.

Sober: you ahve a big ass gun ofc 

#2 Sinner: i got bullied

The Sinner: good

Sans Whisperer: lol rekt

sWee(d)t: whoever is blasting furry roleplay i will come and chop your head off

Salt pillar: he is incapable of doing that so im doing it instead

sWee(d)t: im gonna find them and you are going to kill them

Joker: look at that sibling bonding

fuck off im playing minecraft: who changed the wifi name to my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

Monika: @End me @the sanitized off to kill some bitches

End me: im gonna bring my spear

the sanitized: skadoodle skatoodle im coming for your noodle

Joker: im stealing that

Weed aunt: im gonna get tposed on so hard

Weed duck: you are   


Weed duck: i tried to warn you

Joker: its wednesday my dudes

Salt pillar: no its taccccccco tuesday

End me: theres fire everywhere

#2 Sinner: casualties of war 

#2 Sinner: ok who except for the usual suspects is being horny on main

fuck off im playing minecraft: this is why the soundproof walls should have never left us

Sans Whisperer: its for the amounts of suffering that fuels my soul

Sober: stfu mistake

Sans Whisperer: fcik u :DDDDDDDDDDD

Sober: responds 8 minuets later

Pissed™: that sounded so retarded

Pissed™: oh wait, you’re retarded

Sans Whisperer: i came out ehre to haf a gud tim and hoenestlay nawt feling deh momante

Weed aunt: r u high

Sans Whisperer: vut meks u tink dat luv???

Weed aunt: hes high

Weed duck: how did he manage that

Sans Whisperer: wet ashestoneng vilpowa♡♡♡

Sober: im putting him in prison u guys carry on

Sans Whisperer: noioioioo999999o dant do des to m33

Sober: DONT RUN THIS IS UR FATE   


Pissed™: wikihow what to do when your finger starts itching 

Salt pillar: relatable we need help

The Sinner: die

Roblox phase: get medicine??? Idk

Sacred memeist: go to a hospital

Weed duck: get high

Kink Shaming: getting high doesnt solve everything

Weed duck: i beg to differ

Kink Shaming: wack.

 

**7:32 PM**

Smol Sinner: BLACKOUT   


#2 Sinner: omfg

#2 Sinner: now we know who has unlimited data and who relies on wifi like a little bitch

The Sinner: lol

Sans Whisperer: what blackout i see nothing wrong

Get help: Nothing seems to be wrong.

Sober: pricks

Sober: they have night vision goggles

Sober: i cant charge my phone now its on 10%

Sans Whisperer: oh isnt that so sad

The Sinner: wait do you work like a charger

Sans Whisperer:  _ maybe _

Sober: yeah we've been using him everytime theres a blackout

#2 Sinner: oh yeah we do have blackouts quite often

#2 Sinner: i wonder why

Roblox phase: last time wasnt me

Sacred memeist: it totally is

Pissed™: it was depressing how it didnt work

Weed duck: wait what was the cause last time

Pissed™: Napoleon tried to commit toaster in bathtub and he failed

Roblox phase: i was curious

Sober: can u charge my phone or no

Sans Whisperer: no.

Get help: I can live off of 4%.

Sans Whisperer: no you cant

Sober: ok i see the problem

Sober: carry on ill live with my 10%

Sans Whisperer: wack.

Kink Shaming: oh f a blackout

Weed duck: we seem to have noticed that

Kink Shaming: i hear footsteps

Kink Shaming: whoever it is dont kill me or ill die

#3 Sinner: sounds legit

#3 Sinner: @everyone who is capable of using their phone data

the sanitized: i dont wanna live anymore chief

End me: me everyday

Monika: the darkness consumes me

Weed aunt: sounds emo

Thotiana: but ok

Smol Sinner: bro everyone else no wifi???   


Sacred memeist: appears so

#3 Sinner: weak

Get help: Just because they don’t have the luxury of data, doesn’t mean that they won’t kick your ass in a fight.

Sober: SHIT   


Smol Sinner: ROASTED   


End me: DAMN

#3 Sinner: i see how it is

#2 Sinner: breathing game: stop breathing every time cola actually sees something with his fucking eyes

Sober: we’d all be alive

#3 Sinner: i dislike all of you

The Sinner: we are no longer friends

#3 Sinner: i only mildly dislike you

The Sinner: acceptable

#2 Sinner: wow i sense a prick

The Sinner: i sense an asshole

#2 Sinner: bitch

The Sinner: slut

#2 Sinner: cunt

The Sinner: mistake

#2 Sinner: waste of life

Smol Sinner: shut up or i will strip buttass naked to kill both of you

Monika: what

Smol Sinner: anime law less clothing more power

Monika: oh

Monika: kill them pls i have to listen to them yell at each other daily

Smol Sinner: minutely for me

the sanitized: is that a word

#3 Sinner: who fucking cares

Sober: lol

Sober: ok so who else is alive

Pissed™: i wish i wasnt so i dont have to be here for this assfuckery

Roblox phase: honey do i have news for you

Sacred memeist: you are never getting out of this alive

Sans Whisperer: oh wait what 

Sans Whisperer: yeah no your soul is bounded here

Pissed™: i have no soul

Roblox phase: damn right you dont

Kink Shaming: e

Weed aunt: r

Weed duck: e

Thotiana: c

Kink Shaming: t

Sober: i

Weed aunt: o

Weed duck: n

Sober: WHAT DOES THAT SPELL?   


Thotiana:  **_ERECTION_ ** **_  
_ **

#3 Sinner: IM CRYING   


Kink Shaming: WE REHEARSED THAT FOR 43 SECONDS   


The Sinner: erection more like election

The Sinner: for dumbest dumbass

Roblox phase: no we are not doing another election

Sacred memeist: last time we did this 5 tables got broken

Pissed™: no regrets

Sans Whisperer: no remorse

Sober: no blanket

#2 Sinner: wut

Sober: search it up

#2 Sinner: oh

#2 Sinner: me tho

The Sinner: remember april

#2 Sinner: stop

Smol Sinner: we had a sleepover

Smol Sinner: Red took literally blankets because his body cant generate heat

The Sinner: you have to do what you gotta do

Smol Sinner: so we all improvised

fuck off im playing minecraft: i used glass cups

#3 Sinner: oh yea

#3 Sinner: i taped 5 layers on myself

Smol Sinner: i had to spend 1 hour to free u

Smol Sinner: i just laid on the floor and snuck in the blankets when Red finally passed out

The Sinner: bitch

#2 Sinner: oh i just

#2 Sinner: stuff happened

fuck off im playing minecraft: he overheated a computer and used that

#2 Sinner: I WAS TIRED   


fuck off im playing minecraft: YOU LITERALLY STAYED AWAKE FOR 4 DAYS STRAIGHT THAT LAST TIME FOR OUR BET AND YOU CANT DO THIS SIMPLE TASK   


The Sinner: unbelievable

#2 Sinner: well im so sorry for bringing dissapointment to the table

The Sinner: you better be sorry

The Sinner: also *disappointment 

#2 Sinner: die

The Sinner: you have to die first

#2 Sinner: bring it

Sans Whisperer: did they both get dropped on the head

Smol Sinner: several times i saw it

The Sinner: impossible

The Sinner: you were a fetus

Smol Sinner: fetus more like i will fetus on your blood

The Sinner: i have none and that is my thing

The Sinner: plus that was bad

Smol Sinner: ok then

the sanitized: i just walked over 5 people 

the sanitized: when will this be fixed i hate darkness

End me: big f, btw

Pissed™: embrace or die

 

**12:32 AM** **  
**

He need some milk: POWERS BACK   


Salt pillar: oh finally

That’s the mf tea: swag

Monika: SHE SAID IT   


End me: f

#3 Sinner: ok so since we have no sound proof walls i think everyone hears is so im just gonna say who did it

Roblox phase: wut

#3 Sinner: someone is blasting Miss My Ni in full volume

End me: oh thats me

#3 Sinner: WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED

the sanitized: you’re like the only person that can legally sing that here without it being offensive

End me: yes ik

Get help: I don’t really want to bring myself to say it.

End me: exactly so thats why im created

Monika: are you just here to do what Brownie wont do

Get help: That seems to be what he is implying.

Sans Whisperer: i just drank 1 gallon of water

Sans Whisperer: my insides feel moist

Sober: there are other ways u can word that sentence and you choose  **this**

Sober: i really hate you

Kink Shaming: can you even drink water

Sans Whisperer: oh no we are not doing this

Pissed™: someone taped a picture of a worm with limbs on my desk table

Pissed™: who did it state your name and i will increase the chance of hesitation when i stab you with a knife  from 0.1% to 0.2% choose wisely

Roblox phase: you have gave me a mental image

Pissed™: glad to be of service

sWee(d)t: oh that was me

_ Salt pillar has changed sWee(d)t’s name to sweet more like sour _

sweet more like sour: i love you so so much

Salt pillar: that seems like sarcasm

sweet more like sour: you’re right im so disappointed

Pissed™: why would you obtain such a cursed image?

sweet more like sour: ur mom

sweet more like sour: ok im leaving now

Pissed™: you better because there’s only 0.2% chance of hesitation

Salt pillar: you know he cant do damage so you should just strike immediately

sweet more like sour: i hate you so much

Sans Whisperer: this chatroom and this house just gets weirder every day

Sober: says 20% of the problems

Sans Whisperer: IM ONLY 5% COME ON   


#2 Sinner: no shes right

The Sinner: says 50% of the problems

Smol Sinner: both of you share that 

Smol Sinner: 25% each

That's the mf tea: that's cute

#2 Sinner: i will cut you

He need some milk: i will cut you first if you touch her

Roblox phase: no percents pls

Sacred memeist: yeah i dont know wtf is that

Weed duck: hi im sorry to interrupt this educational program but why is there pigeon on roof

#3 Sinner: what

#3 Sinner: holy shirt there actually a pigeon

#3 Sinner: a lot of them

Sans Whisperer: omfg what

Sober: im not getting involved

 

**dont do anything if chocolate breaks his leg**

**12:43 AM**

Ashley: ok why did you @/everyone its the asscrack of midnight

Chad: im still running from nata

Bob: F

Karen: omfg hes alive

Bob: I’ve been dead

Michael: oh isnt that so great

Michael: i cant believe hes alive

Karen: okokokokokokok but

Karen: for the people that physically cant do damage

Michael:  **_lol_ **

Karen: stfu

Karen: we need a way to fite bak

Bob: Did you know that “over healing” is a way to damage them?   


Michael: pls no

Chad: did you test it

Bob: Yes

Bob: Way back

Michael: its so painful

Michael: its like your skin is being peeled off

Michael: and theres a knife cuttting your bones like theyre made of butter or some shit

Michael: and other horrors that i dont want to speak about

Chad: sounds nice

Karen: i think some already know about this but im doing to serve as a reminder

Chad: brb while i go kill my brother

Bob: Quick to learn

 

**who is fucking oh my god**

**1:29 AM**

Sans Whisperer: ok who changed the chat name

Sans Whisperer: i thought everyone knew about the walls

Sans Whisperer: fucking at 1 am as well

The Sinner: they thought

#2 Sinner: the walls are thinner than paper now

Smol Sinner: oh damn i thought for sure it would be you two whos fucking

The Sinner: ew wtf no

#2 Sinner: you think i would go down to his level

Smol Sinner: two meanings

#3 Sinner: WHAT IS IT WITH CHILDREN AND SEXUAL MINDS

Smol Sinner: I WILL CHOKE YOU

#3 Sinner: DONT

Kink Shaming: yeah dont it will trigger his asphyxiation kink

#3 Sinner: FUCK YOU   


Smol Sinner: IM NOT A CHILD HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT

#3 Sinner: SAYS THE 9  YERA OD

Sans Whisperer: ok sreiously

Sans Whisperer: someones screaming

sweet more like sour: dont worry bout it

Salt pillar: HEKP IAN BEING DAEAD HAFW IT HEUTS EVEYRB ONDF BUT ODF IS BURNING DO HDEWAGH AAD FNSJDHFAW

Sober: wtf

He need some milk: there’s something that can physically wound you

He need some milk: called being healed too much

Salt pillar: THIS AS NEWJTA TB HUTRSAD GSTOPA TWESJI IM SO REWUY TWEA ASDFHJA HELP STWIERHAG STOP STPO OSGPWEGJEWOIOPQ

sweet more like sour: he is paying for every damage he has inflicted on me

sweet more like sour: bear with the screaming a big more

Salt pillar: AHIRGWIGAJHFKHA#JGEJAGH ELPW HEAUTI#QUIQ%U*(!)409 HUYDERFTYG

End me: i was just gonna eat tiras chips but i thought nevermind

Monika: you better thought thot

the sanitized: thought thot

Smol Sinner: rhymes

Monika: im gonna kill both of you <3

**Author's Note:**

> yeah i dont have some of them so f personalities  
> I am actually copying 80% of this from my irl chat with my people so if anything's dumb blame me and them


End file.
